Why Did I Become the Villainess?

After the conversation I had with the Doctors and Leander, they came back in just half an hour and told me that everything is clear and I could go out now without worries. 

I just force myself a smile and thank them. How can I be happy with this news? Having no rashes, how can I avoid Prince Fraser now? I cannot eat Lemon again because I'm sure Rufus won't help me anymore, and if I did, I'm sure they would know now the cause of my allergies. And I couldn't risk that. 

I sigh and look outside. I guess, I should stop running away from my problems and face them. If I continue running away from Prince Fraser and the real Csille takes over this body, I'm sure Prince Fraser would be confused with the changes. 

I dress myself up. I decided to wear a simple blouse and trousers pants. Wearing a dress while we're inside the forest is a bit overdress, and it's actually not comfortable. With all the insects flying around.

I step outside the carriage and look around. Everyone is busy because we will continue our journey after two hours from now. I look around, trying to find where Prince Fraser could be, and I sigh in relief when I didn't see him. 

I couldn't also find Rufus, Princess Paislee, Leander, or even the Great Ruler. Where could they be? 

I walk towards a tree and stand there. It's been days since I enjoy fresh air. The air in the carriage isn't this fresh. I close my eyes and enjoy the fresh air and the sunlight.

"So, you're here."

I open my eyes and look at Rufus, who is standing in front of me. I immediately tensed up and looked at his back. I sighed when I didn't find Prince Fraser. Thank goodness.

"Don't worry, he isn't with me," Rufus said nonchalantly. He then walks towards me. "May I?" He gestured his hand beside me. Asking me if he could stand beside me. 

I nod my head at him and look up at the sky. The conversation I have with Rufus didn't end up well last time. I don't know what to say to him. I want to say sorry for pushing him away, too, but I know I couldn't. I need to do that.

I heard Rufus sigh beside me. "Csille, what happened?" He asked.

I look at him and frown. What is he talking about? Is it about my relationship with Prince Fraser? But I thought I made it clear to him before? Are we talking about this again?

I didn't answer him and just wait for him to continue his words. If it's about Prince Fraser, I will walk away. I'm tired of hearing people talk about what I am doing to my relationship with Prince Fraser. For a change, I hope people will be concerned about me and not Prince Fraser.

"Csille, what happened to us? Prince Fraser, me, and you. What happened to us? Remember when we were young? We were so close to each other, right. But what did happen? Why does it feel like we were drifting away from each other?" 

I could hear the pain in his voice. It's true. Csille, Rufus, and Prince Fraser used to be so closed when they were young. But looking at Csille's relationship with Rufus and Prince Fraser right now? There's really a drastic change.

"Time changes everything, Rufus. We're not children anymore, and playing is not the only thing we know to do. We're starting to create our own identity now. Identity that is different from each other. You, being the son of the Duke and a future businessman. Prince Fraser, as the future King of the Kingdom. And me, starting to create my own identity away from being the Count's daughter or Crown Prince's future bride. We are now starting to explore the world. A world that is bigger than the playground we used to play in. A world that probably doesn't include one another. Things are supposed to happen, and changes are inevitable. I couldn't cage myself into the world we made when we were young. I want to grow as my own person, and so do the two of you. However, these changes don't mean that we're not friends anymore or the relationship we had is only a thing in the past. It's still the same, Rufus. You're still my friends."

I feel Rufus staring at me, so I stare at him too. He sighs and messed my hair. "You have really grown up now. I'm happy for you. And I understand what you are saying. It's just sad to see that we're slowly drifting away. However, you're right. Change is inevitable, and sooner or later, we will face our own life different than the life we had before. But I don't think your life will be different than Prince Fraser. Remember your his fiancée, and years from now, your engagement with him will be official."

I want to roll my eyes at Rufus. How many times have I told him that Prince Fraser and I are impossible? Why can't they listen to me? Csille and Prince Fraser are not meant to be. So, how will my life be comparable with Prince Fraser's?

I shake my head. "As I said, changes are inevitable, Rufus. Who knows what will happen in the future? For now, can we not talk about me being the future bride of Prince Fraser? What if he found his true love? How can he pursue her if everyone is talking about Prince Fraser's engagement with me? I think we better give a chance to Prince Fraser. He's already has a big responsibility as the future King of the Vrawyth Kingdom. Can we all give him the right to choose who he wants to be with?"

"How can you be sure that there will be someone else? You know Fraser more than I do. He isn't indecisive. Once he set his mind on something, he will do anything to make it happen. So, I'm sure he won't change his mind. I don't understand why you keep saying this. It's like you're so sure that someone will come into Prince Fraser's life. Or are you using this as an excuse to get away from Prince Fraser?"

I laugh at Rufus. Of course, I know. I am the reason why all of you exist. "What? We don't know what the future holds, Rufus. I am just saying, what if he found someone else better than I am. There are a lot of beautiful ladies in other Kingdoms, and some of them are even Crown Princess. Do you think I could compete with a Crown Princess? And I'm not using this as an excuse. I'm just concerned for Prince Fraser's happiness. I grow up with him, and I saw how his childhood was different than ours. Since young, he already has the responsibility to be always prim and proper. He always makes sure that everything he does is for the good of people. Even if he was young, his first priority is the people of the Vrawyth Kingdom. I think he deserves happiness in his life too. Don't you think so?"

I heard Rufus sigh. "But that's the price he needs to pay for being born as the Crown Prince of a Kingdom."

"But it's was never his choice to be born as the Crown Prince. Have you ever wonder what Prince Fraser thinks while he is growing? He couldn't enjoy life as a child because he needs to involve himself in managing the Kingdom. Remember, he is only nine years old when he first had training in the western region. Do you ever wonder what Prince Fraser felt back then? You know how people live in the western region and for a nine years old to live in there. Don't you think it was too much?"

Rufus got silent. I look at him and find him staring intently at me. "What?"

"I now understand. You don't hate him. Rather, you like him, and the reason why you are pushing him away is because you are afraid that you will not be the person Prince Fraser needs in the future."

What? Where did he get that? 

"Csille." I look at Rufus, who is now looking at me pitifully. "Why are you doing this to yourself? I'm sure you will always be the person Prince Fraser needed."

Why is he looking at me like that? Who said that I'm only doing this because I am afraid that I can't be the person Prince Fraser needed? Why did it end up like this? What I am saying to him is there's someone who is a better choice for Prince Fraser. I am not saying it because I pity myself or something.

I shake my head at him. "It's not about me, Rufus. Why can't you understand what I am saying?"

Rufus blinks at me and shakes his head. "I'm pretty sure I could understand what you are saying."

I take a deep breath. Trying my best not spill the tea on him. Ysavel, you cannot tell Rufus what will happen in the future. No, you cannot! 

"No, you definitely don't understand what I am saying. Prince Fraser deserves happiness, and I think there's someone out there who could give that happiness to him."

Rufus waved his hand at me. "And you think you're not that person? Yeah, right, yeah right. If you're not that person, who do you think it could be?"

This guy. He really doesn't believe in what I am saying. I shake my head. You'll see in the future, Rufus, you'll see. It's not just Prince Fraser who would fall in love with her. Even you, would fall in love with her. 

"Who knows? Maybe some Crown Princess of another Kingdom? I know a Crown Princess will relate to his highness, Prince Fraser's life."

Rufus raised his eyebrow at me. "Crown Princess? Isn't most Crown Princess had betrothed already?"

I shake my head, Rufus. "Have you forgotten that runaway Crown Princess of the Aeslaerean Kingdom? Prince Fraser and Princess Paislee had interacted before, and they look so perfect together."

Rufus looks at me like he couldn't believe what I just said. "Are you kidding me, Csille? Princess Paislee is still nowhere to be found, and have you forgotten that she runaways because of an unwanted marriage. Do you think she is a match with Prince Fraser?" 

I shrugged my shoulders. "Who knows? Maybe the reason why she runs away is because she ought to meet Prince Fraser. Maybe they could fall in love? Who knows? And I've known Princess Paislee since young. Her character is actually great. I think she's compatible with Prince Fraser."

Rufus shakes his head repeatedly. Like the idea of it is an absurd thing. "I don't she suit her. She runs away from her responsibility Csille. Have you forgotten that? Do you think she would fit as the Queen of the Vrawyth Kingdom? And have you forgotten about the past? The Vrawyth Kingdom and the Aeslaerean Kingdom are in peace because of the treaty. The treaty is now about to end. Do you think having a marriage alliance with the Aeslaerean kingdom will do good to the Vrawyth Kingdom? I think that's too absurd. There's no way Prince Fraser would fall in love with Princess Paislee. That's impossible!"

I sigh. I understand that it looks detrimental when you look at it like that. But the future is already written. Prince Fraser and Princess Paislee will end up together. 

"We don't know what will happen in the future, Rufus. Let's not close the possibility."

Rufus shakes his head and looks at me with wide eyes. "And risk the safety of the whole Kingdom? Are you kidding me, Csille? Prince Fraser wouldn't do that even for the sake of his own happiness."

"That's love we are talking about here. What if he becomes head over heels over her? Not that, I don't trust Prince Fraser, but who knows, right?"

"He would never fall in love with Princess Paislee," Rufus said in a firm voice.