With You

(No.133—No.136)

No.133

My hometown is not a beautiful city.

The northern cities all have a rough face. Wind, sand, rain and snow have made it natural and delicate, and the city’s leadership team like flowing water is accustomed to blindly commanding. Today, rebuild the old city and develop the big riverside tomorrow. The building has not been built yet. , The mayor was changed, and there were only a few obtrusive buildings with gaudy faces, like scars after acne fester.

Once, I mean a hundred years ago, it used to be a beauty. Jews, Japanese and Russians emigrated here during that era, all kinds of old buildings are lightly painted, but they are unexpectedly harmonious.

"Heavy industry planning has been unreasonable, and many good things have been destroyed."

Dad said that during the "Cultural Revolution", those beautiful churches, art galleries and old restaurants were almost smashed, and the ruined walls left behind were discovered and renovated by the conscience of later generations, but they were also smeared with a cheap modern atmosphere. , How many years of heavy snow will not wash away.

When my dad talked about this, I briefly forgot that he was a premature civil servant who liked to watch "Huan Zhu Ge Ge" and practice Tai Chi.

But I did not meet the best times in this city. Once it allowed people from all over the world to come all the way, but now, those born and raised here can't wait to leave.

I thought of Yu Huai, thought of the dusk when time was suspended, and I asked him if he could plant a tree together.

People can run, but trees have no feet.

No.134

Looking at the street scene under the dim light outside the window, I wonder why my eyes are a little wet.

I know why I am unhappy.

I feel that a certain part of myself is still stuck on the windowsill of the dark administrative area, playing back a sentence over and over again, Geng, let's sit at the same table all the time.

Deep down in my heart, I have always had a hunch, this may be the most...sentence I can get from Yu Huai.

The most? I do not know. Maybe I know it, but I don't admit it.

But now the whole person has just been liberated from the ignorant state of the parent meeting. The information that was not processed at that time, between the lines, the corners of the eyes and the eyebrows, all appeared on the car window, very clear.

Yu Huai lied to his mother, saying that he was at the table with boys because he had a "prior conviction".

The "prior conviction" object is his deskmate in junior high school.

It is not difficult to reason.

But, "Geng Geng, let's sit at the same table all the time", what is this? Is it a nostalgia for the same table in junior high school, or a rebellion against his mother?

I cried after all.

The car drove to the Jewish Old Church. Outside the window is a hundred years ago, behind is the 21st century Zhenhua, only this car took me to escape the capture of time.

My name is Geng Geng, and the two people who named me went to each other and handed the terrible report card to an outsider.

The person who said he would sit with me all the time was duplicity.

I was a lost souvenir, and I was picked up to commemorate others.

When I was crying in the back seat, the car slowly drove to the door of my community.

But at this moment, I cried out of inertia and couldn't stop the brakes.

"Oh, how much is it really exactly fifty oh oh oh master, you are so professional oh oh oh..."

The driver master was delighted by me.

"Girl, don't have to pay for it, you can cry slowly."

He uttered this sentence slowly in his cigarette and alcoholic voice, as if he was yelling to prepare. Before the voice was over, I started to yell.

The driver's master lighted a cigarette. He didn't urge me or comfort me. He just opened half of the car window and slowly puffed out smoke rings, letting me cry so hard that I would really be hacked to death by my parents when I went upstairs. In the same way, first give yourself fifty yuan for the funeral.

By the time I was almost tired from crying, fifteen minutes had passed. I wiped my tears and nose with a tissue, still pumping habitually, and hiccuping a bit.

Even I think my cry is too sincere.

"Master, thank you, you are so kind."

"It's okay. My daughter is about the same age as you. She is the same as you. She is not happy to go home after a parent meeting. Cry, cry, children have their own problems."

My nose is a little sore again.

Comprehension from strangers is always sensational.

"Do you think I'm so alike to her, that's why sympathy is overflowing?"

"How can it be," the master laughed, "If she was such a prodigal like you, I would have hanged up and beaten!"

No.135

It was almost nine when I got home. Downstairs of my house is a pile of broken furniture that I don't know which neighbor threw there. One of the broken full-length mirrors just played a role. The door light downstairs was broken. I could only step on the closet and get close to the mirror. Then I held my phone and illuminated myself with the light from the screen to see if my eyes were red or swollen.

Then I heard a scream and running wildly behind him.

... It was indeed very unethical to step on the small trash mountain at night and face the blue light mirror, but I was also scared to death by the other's screams.

I didn't want to take another photo, so I just dialed my bangs casually, went upstairs with my head down, and opened the door with the key.

As soon as I opened the door, I saw Aunt Qi in the living room cleaning up the dishes. I suddenly felt hungry when I smelled the fried octopus, very hungry.

"Geng Geng is back?" She didn't look up at me, but concentrated on cleaning up the fish bones on the table. "Would you like to eat more?"

"Yes." My throat was a bit hoarse. After Aunt Qi heard it, she looked up at me.

I guess no matter how I manage myself, my eyes should still be red, and it's useless to cover up.

Fortunately, she didn't ask anything, just smiled gently and said: "Then you change your clothes, wash your hands, and I will warm up your meal."

"You don't need to heat it, just take the water bubble. I like to eat water bubble rice."

"Row."

She turned around and went to the kitchen. I suddenly wanted to thank her.

No.136

Maybe it was because I was crying too hard. When I was eating, I felt a faint pain in the back of my head and a little hypoxia. After eating, I felt embarrassed and wanted to clean the dishes. Aunt Qi argued with me for a long time, but let me go back.

For the first time, I didn't sit at the desk pretending to be, but sat cross-legged in the living room and competed with Xiao Lin Fan in the last four-wheel drive.

"Do many boys in your school like to play this?"

He nodded vigorously. When he played four-wheel drive seriously, the language function was basically abandoned. I don't know if it was to save unnecessary blood circulation.

"Why do you think people always squeeze on the same track? Can't you run on a different track?" I didn't expect Lin Fan, the little boy, to understand what I was talking about, just talk about it myself.

"It's a rule." He stared at the car with piercing eyes.

I knew he didn't understand.

"But it can also be compared. You can run and play by yourself, and no one has to compete with you. It is voluntary."

This stunned me.

Until I went to bed, my dad hadn't come back, but when I was lying in bed, my mother called. But I did not answer. The word "Mom" on the screen of the phone jumped around, and finally fell silent.

I slept well, maybe I was tired from crying. In the middle of the night, I heard the sound of the living room in a daze. It was my dad who came back.

It should be too much. Aunt Qi went to greet him. My dad didn't know what he was talking about, whether he said something that shouldn't be said, whether he mentioned anyone that shouldn't be mentioned, whether he recalled the past that shouldn't be recalled, I don't know.

I had a dream, dreaming of myself.

To be precise, it was five-year-old myself, wearing my favorite green cotton dress when I was a kid. There was a white flower on my chest. The branches slanted across my chest and bloomed on the buttoned neckline. My father led me through the violent uphill road in front of the house. At that time, my grandparents were still imposing a lockdown policy on my parents, the pair of fateful mandarin ducks. My family lived in a small bungalow in the relocation area. In my dad’s words, the neighbors are all run-down, and the children must be taken care of, otherwise they may be lost at any time. In a sack on the truck.

I was fascinated by the sand and asked him where we were going while rubbing it.

He said, let's pick up mom from get off work, and then go to the park to take pictures with the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles at the door!

When I smile very brightly, I seem to be a little bit heartless.

Dad asked, Geng Geng, are you happy?

I said, happy.

Dad suddenly said, you won't be so happy when you grow up.

I said no, as long as I remember how happy I am now, I will be as happy as I am now.

I just finished talking, and suddenly I was on the big dirt road, following the female warrior Xi Rui on TV. She posed a pose (posture) stretched and violently, and shouted very loudly, Geng, remember this moment!

Then I forgot.

Forgetting more than ten years, in a dream, suddenly remembered.

Just like the five-year-old Geng Geng threw a drifting bottle, drifting in the ocean of time, and finally, it was picked up by the seventeen-year-old Geng Geng.

I woke up from crying.

The five-year-old Geng Geng is simply mentally retarded.

She thinks that happiness is a skill no different from swimming or riding a bicycle. Once she has learned it, she will never lose it.