Worthless

"Hi."

His heart almost jumped out of his ċhėst if it were not for his ribcage keeping it contained. He was only onto the second buŧŧon of his clothes when that happened. Right now, his heart was beating rapidly, drumming furiously inside his ċhėst as he clenched his hand on the collar of his clothes-- 

'It might be wrinkled later on,' His mind reminded him which he ignored.

--And whirled around. 

A young man supporting slick jet black hair with a heartthrob haircut leaned against the entrance of the changing room. A few stubborn strands of hair fell over his forehead, yet still looked unbelievably handsome. A pair of jade jewels shone especially bright right at this moment. 

He was dressed in a well-pressed suit that wrapped right in all places and looked like the embodiment of everything Jian Yu had ever found vaguely attractive. 

"Sir Roderick!" Jian Yu greeted him, he was sweating bullets underneath whether from nervousness or the extreme heat he felt suddenly, he wasn't sure. "You almost scared me." 

XXX

'You are already surprised.' Was what Zeke wanted to say. 

He almost felt bad at how flustered Jian Yu was which made him frown skeptically. Why was he so surprised, though? What made him so jumpy? 

"Do I really need a reason to see my favorite person?" Zeke asked instead, tilting his head to the side and a pout in his face, looking like he was offended. 

The silverette almost flushed instantly, which made the Alpha raise one of his eyebrows in confusion. Sure, the beta never took his flirting too well since the beginning, but it usually took more than this for him to be so flustered. 

Unbeknown to the confused Alpha, Jian Yu was facing his inner turmoil, having immediately forgotten his current mission of not showing off his scars. 

'F--favorite person…!' The silver-head went bright red. His cheeks might have warmed to a certain degree however his ċhėst constricted tightly and his heart felt heavy. Suddenly the air seemed so much harder to breathe in. 

The incident happened a few months prior, the day he and the Alpha went to a bar, the day that certain Alpha got stabbed instantly came flooding into him. 

<<Flashback>>

The bar owner had remarkably used all of his force when diving the dagger into the Roderick as only the hilt was visible for the eyes white the rest of the dagger was buried deep in the lower stomach. 

Jian Yu was trying hard not to panic when the ambulance had yet to arrive, applying more pressure to the blood stained cloth he tore from Zeke's lower shirt. He was just joking when he said he treasure his uniform, he had immediately shrugged off the outer suit jacket and vest to drape them over Zeke to avoid hypothermia. 

People tended to bleed more when they were stabbed in the stomach than the skin! 

His bloodied hand reached over to touch the Alpha's cheek with the back of his hand, feeling the temperature and cursing when he felt the coldness from it. Zeke had also been profusely sweating buckets. His breaths were rapid and swallowed. 

Jian Yu quickly went for his neck to check his pulse. 

Weak. 

Oh dear Lord Atlanta, was it just today or the ambulance was always this slow the whole time?!

The next breath he exhaled was shaky yet fully filled with relief when the sound of vehicles reached his ears. 

"Am… I… in heaven?" 

A cold and clammy hand hesitantly touched Jian Yu's, featherly light as if it was afraid that whatever it was touching might disappear if it gripped roughly. 

"Is that why… I'm seeing an Angel?" Followed by a rough and scratchy voice.

The silverette was tempted to scrub his face exasperatedly, he had wanted to. The only thing stopping him from doing so was his blood-stained hand. Wouldn't want it spread across his face like a jam right? 

Jian Yu turned with a scowl on his face, ready to reprimand the Roderick, remind him to save his energy and stop talking but his scowl immediately softened when he saw the glazed look on Zeke's face. 

"Don't waste your breath," He whispered. "The ambulance is coming." 

"Do… Do you know--" 

Cough, cough. "--you look really nice?" 

Jian Yu's eyebrow twitched, face flaming And warmth curling up in the pit of his stomach. What had he just told him? The words probably went inside one ear and out from the other. The black-haired Alpha apparently reserved some energy to compliment him. 

"Thanks," Jian Yu muttered. "Now shut up." 

The injured Alpha attempted to chuckle and his wound stopped him from doing so as he hissed in pain. 

"Darling."

Oh good Lord, he was using pet names now. 

"I'm in a lot of pain…" Zeke grunted. 

"That's because you're stabb--" 

"Because I've fallen so hard for you." 

Jian Yu almost choked on his saliva. The Beta was certain his head was burning right now, with how hot his skin was. 

"Please stop joking, Sir!" The flustered beta stammered out, he could practically hear the rushing sound of his blood in his ears. He really had to hand it to Zeke for being able to throw a cringy pick-up line even in situations like this. 

"Sweetheart… Love... Why… Why would I joke about… Something like that?" Zeke managed to pout. "I'm not. And… I would very much like to court you if you permit me."

Jian Yu gaped this time, openly. 

His jaw had dropped onto the floor if that was even possible. Grabbing his dropped jaw and placing it back to its respective place, Jian Yu protested instantly, fearing his head was going to explode with how hot he felt right now. 

"You don't even know me!" 

'I don't even know myself!' Was stuck on the tip of his tongue. 

"You are kind… You're honest… Always hard working… You're clumsy too… Definitely high maintenance, but I will manage somehow…" 

"You can't like me!" Heart thudding wildly in his ċhėst, Jian Yu exclaimed. Even though he shouldn't be the one fainting, he really wished he could. 

The man of everyone's dream had just asked his permission to court him! 

Holy gods! 

What was he supposed to do? 

Was he even ready to give all of himself to someone when he himself wasn't complete? He was nothing! A broken thing that was beyond repair! Useless! Just like his dad used to say-- Trash! Scum! A Beta--! 

'Reject.' A voice so cold yet disgustingly similar to his said. Simple as that. Yet he couldn't say those words, he couldn't bring himself to. His mind told him to cut it off, but his heart wouldn't let him do so. 

"Please… Please just stop talking already…" Jian Yu begged. He had wanted to bury his hands in his hair and tugged at his locks in stupid attempt to make sense of all this-- 

'Delirious.' 

That must be it. 

Bloodloss could do that to someone… Right? 

"Why can't I like you? I won't stop until I get your permission--" 

Jian Yu pressed his hand harder against the wound at that moment, thinking it was due to his slacking movement that the blood was flowing out even faster. 

The delirious Alpha bit his bottom lip, grunting in pain. 

'Please just faint already!' As much as how heartless he sounded for wishing such a thing, it was much better than being flirted shamelessly by a delirious mind. 'It's not like he will remember any of it!' 

God must have heard his prayer when a couple of people from the medical unit finally barged in and carted Zeke away. 

When he was asked if he was injured just because he looked like he was drenched in blood--

--He wanted to say yes, his heart actually hurt a lot. 

<<End of flashback>>