Worthless

There was a suffocating silence that followed afterwards, maybe it was just Jian Yu because he could definitely see Zeke mouthing some words. 

But Jian Yu, he couldn't seem to find the air to breathe as if the air had thickened and the silverette Beta tried not to dry-heave all over. 

His mind was so scrambled at the sudden turn of events until hands were no longer touching him and were on either side of his head. 

Droplets of tears landed on his face and Jian Yu blinked. He wanted to ask why was Zeke the one crying when it was him who was supposed to be crying? 

The beta kept still, not comprehending what had just happened and was too stunned to make a move. 

Jian Yu watched apologies after apologies tumbled out of Zeke's mouth as he wailed. His brows were furrowed and his eyes were tightly closed as if trying to hide from the view of the world, most likely Jian Yu's. 

The Alpha was sobbing so heavily that his face was red and scrunching up. The image could be described as something visceral and uncomfortable to look at, Jian Yu couldn't help himself not to look away. 

It was like he had peeked into the deepest emotion hidden inside Zeke and it was a boundary he shouldn't have crossed, shouldn't even stepped into. 

Witnessing such a pure and raw expression on his face, Jian Yu couldn't stop himself when his own hands reached for Zeke. He wrapped his arms around the crying Alpha, wounding his shorter and lithe arms over Zeke's back, pulling him into a hug. 

He could feel tremors wrecked through the Alpha's body as Zeke shook imperceptibly and Jian Yu squeezed his arms, tightening his hold on Zeke to show reassurance. 

"It… It's okay, it's alright," He whispered. "You're okay. It's not…" Jian Yu gasped on his words. "It's not your fault, not at all." 

It made him wonder if those words he said were supposed to calm the crying Alpha or were they said to comfort himself? 

The silverette bit his lips as his hand moved to rub the back of Zeke's head before nosing against the dark silky strands. 

Their position was really uncomfortable, especially for the younger Beta, as he was clinging onto Zeke as if he was hanging for his dear life, but the Alpha had not made any move to return the hold like he was afraid to even touch the Beta. 

Jian Yu hesitated, it seemed he had to take control of the situation. Never once had he done something like this, especially with an Alpha present. It was unusual for an Alpha to show such weakness. Alphas were taught that showing any kind of weakness was unwise and uncharacteristic. 

They were taught and drilled once they presented that an Alpha had to be confident and mȧturė, though Jian Yu wasn't sure about the 'mature' part. A lot of them were childish and obnoxious, thinking they had higher status and deserve to step on the weak. 

But this, this particular one… 

Had somehow changed how he viewed an Alpha. He had unknowingly broken the stereotype Jian Yu had placed on Alphas. 

"Hey, hey." Jian Yu began, softening his voice as if he was coaxing a small weeping child. 

The Beta pushed himself up, he had to take over the situation and settle this problem right away before Zeke went running and avoided him again. Then they would have to start over and over, doing this looping continuously and Jian Yu forbid it, gods, he forbid that from ever happening. 

The Alpha silently followed his lead. Jian Yu guided him until he was back on his haunches so that the Beta could be on the same eye level as Zeke. The older man had his hands fisted with the fabric on his knees and was still mouthing apologies. 

He looked absolutely distracted. 

"Hey, look at me." Jian Yu began slowly. 

When the guy had yet to follow his instruction, Jian Yu delivered swift but gentle kisses to Zeke's wetted cheeks, eyelids, and his chapped lips. "It's alright, okay? If there is someone at fault here, it is probably me, since I'm the one offering." 

"But I--" 

"Look, I'm totally fine, not even injured at all. You have not hurt me," Jian Yu emphasized. The silverette knew he was lying through his teeth, with his hair ruffled and shirt unbuttoned, he knew he must have looked absolutely wrecked. 

"You did nothing wrong," The younger man continued and Zeke finally looked up, catching sight of those obsidian jewels that shone, glistened with unwavering emotions. They were open and honest, and more importantly; understanding. 

The Alpha found himself immersed by the expression, feeling entranced and unable to look away. And he had to remind himself how fortunate, how lucky he was to be able to witness such a thing displayed by Jian Yu. 

"It's just a natural trait of an Alpha, I completely understand it. Besides, look at me," The Beta reached out to take hold of Zeke's hand, holding it gently. "Do I look injured to you?" 

His tone was soft and gentle with a little hint of teasing. 

The older man huffed and laughed, sniffling. "You look absolutely gorgeous. Though I really wish you didn't see this uncharacteristic side of mine-- Gosh, it was horrible--" 

"Hey, hey." Jian Yu brushed the back of his hand against Zeke's cheeks, wiping a stray tear that fell. "Don't think about it anymore, 'kay? Why are you being such a crybaby?" 

Zeke chuckled before going for a full-blown laugh before wiping his face with his arms. "I will let you know, I'm not usually this easy to shed tears." 

"Oh, really?" Jian Yu waggled his eyebrows as if not believing an ounce of what Zeke just said. 

"I hope I haven't been demoted," The black-haired Alpha smiled through his runny nose. "Staying in the friendzone is hell enough for me." 

"Nah, actually…" Jian Yu grinned like a sly predator. "You are promoted."

"Oh? And what have I been promoted into?" 

"Mine."