WTF I Am In The Marvel Universe!

Chapter 15 - Iron Man I Hate You 3000

It was 2008 and the start of Iron Man was about to happen. Ray had struck up a working relationship with Phil Coulson and Clint Barton or Hawkeye. However he still couldn't say directly to them, hey can I get the Tesseract or Space Stone from you ? That would raise a few alarm bells, top of which is how did Ray know Shield had the Tesseract or Space Stone ? Ray too did want to end up like a dead chicken in Shield like Hydra whereby they were either killed or they ended up locked up for life in a maximum security prison like Alexander Pierce. For Ray, it pays to have telepathy, Ray was able to find out what happened to Hydra and Alexander by reading Phil Coulson, Clint Barton or Nick Fury's mind. Yes, Ray had been reading Nick Fury's mind and it was a damn scary mind to read. It had given Ray nightmares at night after reading Nick Fury's twisted mind. Because of that Ray was reluctant to tell Shield much information about himself lest he be classified as a threat and placed in some laboratory to be dissected. So Ray lied and said that he had flight abilities, some strength and some minor magic powers, very minor magic powers which could be learned in Kamar Taj. Ray knew that Nick Fury had a thick file on Kamar Taj. Nick Fury and the Ancient One didn't actually see eye to eye but since the Ancient One has been protecting Earth from invisible outside world threats for 500 years, Nick Fury sorta let it slide. If not the Ancient One today would be strapped to a table in lab somewhere in Shield headquarters and dissected.

Ray knew that the current Shield is scarier than in the movies and tv shows he had seen in his previous life. Marvel was really the kings of troll, they got Doctor Strange wrong, Captain Marvel did not exist and now Shield was run by a sadistic psychopath ! Marvel you fuċkɨnġ troll ! Ray said in his mind as he thought of how he should proceed with this scary scary Shield organisation. Luckily for him, Shield had quite a thin file on the Hand and Wilson Fisk because they did not think they were important. Currently Shield is busy in getting rid of Hydra while pretending to want to reduce their size and scope in the world to the world security council.

Marvel you fuċkɨnġ troll ! Why did you put a kid friendly nice Nick Fury in your Marvel movies when you knew he was a psychotic bastard that would even kill kids ! Ray had read Nick Fury's mind and knew how he actually lost his eye. Nick Fury had plucked out his own eye for the success of a mission. Nick Fury had used a cat to scratch the side of his eyes, plucked out his own eye and stuff another person's eye into his own empty eye socket to achieve the mission. Nick Fury then plastered his eye and walked into the airport to fly back to America. His mission was a success and he was rewarded with the promotion to Director of Shield. That's the true story of Nick Fury's lost eye, not the cute an alien cat scratched his eyes story provided by Marvel the fuċkɨnġ troll. The eye Nick Fury brought back allowed access to the secret case held by Shield and gave Shield the secret technological information they needed to win the Cold War against Russia. Whenever Ray thought of this he shivered in fear.

Now it was the beginning of 2008, Iron Man would start soon. Ray had decided to wait until Tony Stark became Iron Man before he acted. Ray would try and get the Tesseract from Shield when Iron Man existed. Ray would use Tony Stark as an excuse to get the Tesseract. After all Nick Fury wanted more technology and power for Shield. If Tony Stark could promise Nick Fury after studying the Tesseract that he could produce more weapons, Nick Fury would gladly hand over the Tesseract to Stark in an instant. With the Tesseract in Tony Stark's Hand Ray would be able to study it with him. Ha ! Ha ! Ha ! It was the perfect plan, at least it seems like it was the perfect plan to Ray. Unfortunately for Ray, he did not know how much of a troll Marvel was ! If Marvel had fuċkėd up the non-existent Captain Marvel and Nick Fury, Marvel the troll would definitely fuċk up Tony Stark !

A few months later, Tony Stark had announced to the World he was Iron Man. Ray took the opportunity to ask agent Phil Coulson for an introduction to Tony Stark. Phil Coulson having been friends with Wizard boy for almost a year of course agreed. Phil Coulson's demeanour is less psychotic than Nick Fury and he was more like your old uncle in the family. At least Marvel got it right with Phil Coulson, Ray sighed at the thought. After all Marvel nerfed up Nick Fury's character big time ! As for Hawkeye Clint Barton, he was quiet most of the time, he had the demeanour of an ȧssassin.

Phil Coulson had arranged a meeting between Ray and Tony Stark at Stark headquarters in New York. Pepper Potts, Tony Stark's ȧssistant was there as well to facilitate things smoothly.

"Mr. Stark, I would like to introduce you to the Wizard, one of the superheroes Nick Fury told you about. Wizard, that's Tony Stark, Mr. Iron Man.", Phil Coulson said with a friendly smile.

"Nice to meet you sir.", Ray said in a girlish voice.

"What ? Are you sure you are not a young girl ? You sound like a young girl. And you look like one too.", Tony Stark said as he looked at Ray.

"I am not a girl !", Ray said in a girlish voice in an angry tone. At the same time Ray's mouth twitched.

"Mr. Stark I ȧssure you the Wizard is not a girl but a young boy, a very young boy. He asked to meet you.", Phil Coulson said with another friendly smile.

"Oh ! So you are one of my admirers, but I have to tell you beforehand, I like women. I don't like men or young boys. I am not into that.", Tony Stark said with a arrogant smile.

Ray's eyes started to twitch as his face was turning red with anger. "I do not admire you Mr. Stark. I am also a scientist, I was thinking of exchanging some of our scientific knowledge and ideas.", Ray said with a very angry and girlish voice.

"Tony, I think you had better stop teasing the young Mr. Wizard.", Pepper Potts pleaded with Tony Stark as she could see Ray was losing his temper.

"Who is teasing him ? He really looks like a girl, maybe he should do a sėx change. If I was him I would definitely do a sėx change operation.", Tony Stark said arrogantly.

Ray stormed off Stark headquarters and mumbled, "Iron Man I hate you 3000. When you die I will be dancing on your grave and celebrating your death, you arrogant piss ant jerk.". Ray had realised Marvel has nerfed the character of Mr. Tony Iron Man Stark. Tony Stark was not just an arrogant jerk, he was the ultimate arrogant jerk ! No sane person could stand to be in the same room as him for more than one minute before they wanted to kill him ! Marvel you fuċkɨnġ troll, you nerfed Iron Man as well ! Iron Man was not the kind billionaire with an acid mouth, he was the god of all arrogant jerks ! If the Avengers stay in the same room with him for more than one minute, they would want to kill him themselves !

Tap the screen to use advanced tools Tip: You can use left and right keyboard keys to browse between chapters.

You'll Also Like