You Make Me...Crazy

11. Just Another Boy

"You're getting us a new manager?" Junghee asked, staring at Dan with a skeptical gaze. "Are you sure about this, Dan?"

"I don't think it's a good idea," Andre shook his head.

"Hyung," Andre looked at Jae. "What do you think?"

Jae brought the coffee pot and refilled Dan's cup and his. Junghee declined coffee and Andre was drinking green tea.

"I don't know what to say."

"You must have an opinion," Junghee persisted looking at Jae. "Leaning on the counter and removing yourself from the situation is not going to make this go away."

"What do you want from me?" Jae asked, taking the coffee pot to the counter. He placed it on the warmer with a thud. "I wrote the music, we recorded it, now Dan wants to pass us off to some new manager. What can I say?"

"Jae," Dan said with a sigh. "It's not like that. I've already explained why I want to do this."

"Explain again," Jae said harshly, rounding on him.

His eyes hard with emotion, the man Dan had seen in the living room was back. That angry Jae he didn't know. Had he always been there?

"We've managed quite fine with you. Why are you changing the rules on us?"

"I'm not changing the rules," Dan said, keeping his tone calm. "Rebellion needs me working as C.E.O. of Jade Entertainment. We need to win over distribution companies, and I can't do that working as your manager."

"We need you helping us face the public out there." Jae pointed out the window as though their fans were right outside. "We can't do it without you. I don't trust a new person to help us go through this."

"I'm not abandoning you." Dan sighed and shook his head. "I'll keep an eye on my replacement."

"You've already made up your mind," Jae said in shock. "You didn't come here to ask us, you came to tell us you're no longer our manager. Didn't you?"

Junghee turned to look at Dan.

"Is that true, Dan?"

Dan lifted his hands hoping to calm them down.

"We need to take a moment-"

"Tell him it's true," Jae said, his tone dripping with disappointment.

"Will you stop, Jae," Dan snapped at him. "I know this upsets you, but you need to listen carefully."

"I don't have to listen to anything." Jae picked up his coffee and gave him a mutinous gaze. "I won't accept whoever you bring. If you can't manage us, then no one will."

"Jae," Dan said, standing to stop his boyfriend as he walked out of the kitchen.

Junghee grabbed his arm.

"Let him go," Junghee said quietly. "He doesn't like change."

"I know, but this is important. He needs to understand I'm not doing this because I want to."

Dan wiped a hand down his face and looked around the kitchen. He was so tired. His meeting in Japan had been more grueling than he'd thought it would be. The Rand Agency was still making things difficult for them. He couldn't imagine Rebellion releasing an album and being unable to tap into the Japanese market.

"Dan, have a seat," Andre said quietly. "Hyung is just upset, it will pass."

Dan sat back down. Jae wasn't upset because of the change of managers.

No, Jae was upset because of what Jaesun said during the interview they watched in the living room. Dan met Junghee's worried gaze.

"What really happened between Jae and Jaesun? Why doesn't he talk about it?"

"What do you mean?" Junghee asked.

"When we first met, that day I rescued Jae from his apartment. He met Jaesun," Dan said. "Why?"

"Ask him," Andre said quietly.

"I'm asking you two," Dan said studying them. "Jaesun has it out for him in the press and keeps dragging him in the mud. Jae doesn't talk about him or Black Shade ever, so I need you to tell me what happened between them."

"You know everything," Junghee said. "Black Shade crumbled before the world's eyes. You know that better than anyone else."

"I might know the legal issues you've had, and the stories the press and N-sang have peddled. What I need to know is how you two ended up with Jae, and Jaesun ended up alone with N-sang. If Jaesun and Jae had a relationship, why are they on opposite sides now?"

"Because Jaesun is an idiot," Andre said with a shrug. "He was afraid of losing everything. I don't blame him. For a while there, I thought I might quit the fight. But, in the end, what we chose was right."

"Jaesun blames Jae for the end of Black Shade." Junghee met Dan's gaze. "I mean, really blames him, to the point of hate. They had a terrible argument the night before Jaesun decided to choose N-sang. Jaesun wanted Jae to drop the case but he wouldn't. After we left N-sang Entertainment, they tried to end their relationship but it was hard. Jae kept meeting Jaesun. Jaesun would come find Jae when he had a problem, which was all the time. I really hated it because Jaesun had this way of just piling guilt on Jae. As if, Jae was to blame for N-sang's actions. We tried to ignore it but it was difficult. When we were in Japan under the Rand Agency, Jaesun came to see Jae."

"That's before Rand suspended your activities," Dan said, trying to understand.

"Right before it happened," Andre said with a nod. "They locked themselves up in Jae's bedroom for hours, and then when Jaesun left, Jae drank for two days straight. It was hard to get him on stage. He could barely sing."

"Soon after, Rand suspended us and we returned to Seoul. Jae packed up and left," Junghee said with a sigh. "It took me a month to find out that he had gone home to Gong."

"What did they tell each other?" Dan persisted.

"I don't know, but it must have really hurt Jae because he lost all hope after that," Junghee said. "He made no effort to fight the suspension. I thought we were really beyond hope."

Dan nodded.

"Alright, Rebellion's new manager will meet you tomorrow morning. You guys can take today off. We'll meet here and head to Jade Entertainment tomorrow."

"That sounds good," Andre said. "What about hyung?"

"I'll talk to him," Dan promised.

Junghee stood.

"After I talk to him first," Junghee said.

"Jung…" Dan started.

"I need to clear something with Jae," Junghee said with a hard tone. "Andre, don't drive off without me. I need you to drop me off at Red's Hair."

"Sure," Andre said, watching him walk away. When Junghee disappeared at the end of the corridor, Andre turned to Dan. "Do we really have to have a new manager?"

"Yes, it will make things easier. He's a good friend, and he will treat you guys as I would," Dan said quietly. "My place is at Jade Entertainment fighting to get distribution avenues open for the band. I'd never make this decision without a plan."

Andre studied him for a moment, and then nodded.

"Fine, I trust your judgment. About Jae, he gets disturbed by Jaesun but it's because he cared too much." Andre looked away from him before he continued. "Jae never talked much about his relationship with Jaesun, but we could all see that they were close, too close. Jae turned into a different person with him. I'm glad they ended. The truth is, I love how Jae is with you and I don't want to ever see that end."

"Andre," Dan said in surprise.

Andre shrugged, pushed his chair back and stood up.

"Jaesun wasn't good for Jae. Jae lost too much of himself in that relationship. So, do what you can to keep Jaesun away from my hyung."

Dan watched Andre leave the kitchen and sat back in his chair. He was happy to know he wasn't the only one who didn't like Jaesun.

***

Jae had just finished showering when Junghee walked into his bathroom. Wiping down his body with his towel, Jae met Junghee's stormy gaze and sighed.

"What now?" Jae asked.

He lazily wrapped the towel around his hips.

"You're acting up," Junghee said in a disappointed tone. "What you told Dan downstairs was childish."

"Childish or not, I don't want a new manager, Jung." Jae took another towel from the rack on the wall and used it to wipe off excess water from his hair. "We need someone who knows us. Someone who'll understand what we're facing."

"Do you think it's easy for Dan? Knowing how he feels about you, it can't be easy for him to hand us over to someone new this way," Junghee said, as he leaned on the counter. "He is not punishing us by giving us a new manager. He's just doing what's best for Rebellion. So, don't give him a hard time. As for Jaesun-"

"Don't bring Jaesun up," Jae said, throwing the towel he had over his head into the laundry bin.

He was tired of hearing that guy's name. Why was everyone obsessed with Jaesun?

"I don't know what you've heard, but you only act like this when Jaesun is involved. You have Dan worried downstairs," Junghee snapped. "I know what Jaesun did to you, Jae. I remember how you were that last year before you ran off to Gong. I watched you spiral into a well of self-pity, you lost your confidence, and took on the guilt Jaesun unjustly piled on you. I'd hoped you would let it go by now, but it seems you're still carrying it around."

Jae closed his eyes.

"Jung, please stop."

"We're starting a new," Junghee continued as though Jae hadn't spoken. "Don't let that bastard interfere with us anymore. Please find a way to stand up to Jaesun. Haven't you had enough?"

Jae opened his eyes to find Junghee watching him keenly.

"I'm heading downtown to Red's," Junghee said, then ran his hand through his short dark hair. "I think I'm going back to my red hair. I'll see you tomorrow. Think about what I've said, and I hope you'll be in a better mood. We're meeting our new manager."

Junghee flashed him a small smile then left the bathroom.

Jae watched him leave then turned to meet his own gaze in the mirror. He let a soft sigh escape, staring at the tall slender man looking back at him. He wanted to rail against Junghee's advice but he knew his best friend was right. Jaesun's darned interview had ruined his balance.

Brought the past too close, he thought.

His long hair was still wet. Grabbing the blow dryer, Jae turned it on and ran it over his hair using his fingers to separate the strands. His thoughts filled with Jaesun's words.

>>'We were like two blind men facing each other...we're probably different people now. He can't see my intentions, or my heart, and I seem not to know him as I used to before. That saddens me. I can only hope he'll see my side and know we're not enemies.'>>In the darkness/when my heart ached, death was a relief/ drowning in the dark/tears filling my eyes/gave into fear/your hand reached and took mine/>Blinding light/soaring high/breathing love/your heart/Alive/Walking by your side/you cry/my heart cries/>Saved me/gave me life/without you/I'm benign/Gave my heart/I live in you/when you smile/I believe/ I am alive/saved me/gave me life/Walk with me/I'm stronger now/ Pushed the dark, I'm alive/ I won't fall/<<

When the music ended, the silence in the live room filled the space. Unable to say anything, he met Jae's gaze.

"What do you think?" Jae asked, when he didn't speak. "I mean, of course the song won't be acoustic. The final track is rock, the chorus screaming, with heavy rock drums in there. I can play it for you if you-"

Dan got off his chair, took the guitar from Jae, set it aside and pulled him into his arms. He held Jae tight; closing his eyes, he buried his face into Jae's shoulder when Jae wrapped his arms around his waist.

"I'm sorry," Jae said in a broken whisper.

"Stop apologizing to me," Dan ordered. He rubbed his hands over Jae's back and sighed. "I asked you to tell me the truth and you did."

"Dan," Jae said with a soft sigh.

"I love you," he said. "I don't care that you can't say it back to me yet. So, don't worry, okay?"

Jae tightened his arms around his waist and nodded. Dan lifted his head and leaned back slightly so that he could look into Jae's eyes. His fingers sunk into dark silky strands and Jae looked up. Those glittering light-brown orbs tore at his heart. He kissed Jae then, hoping that their heat and his love would heal Jae's broken heart.

***

The next morning Dan watched with a speculative gaze, as a black sedan drove into Jae's compound. He had spent the better part of the last hour telling Junghee, Andre, and Jae about their new manager. He knew it wasn't easy to trust a new face in this industry, and with Rebellion's background, they found it hard to trust people in general. Dan watched the black car pull in next to his own town car. Glancing at the time, he smiled as Harry Yoon came out of the driver's side. It was exactly nine o'clock. Harry was punctual, that hadn't changed.

"C.E.O. Suk Dan," Harry said grinning at him. "Who would have ever imagined such a thing?"

Dan laughed and held out his hand to his longtime friend. He wasn't surprised when Harry ignored his hand and instead pulled him into a tight hug. He returned Harry's hug, stepped back and studied Harry's face.

"Time hasn't been your friend, Harry," he said in a teasing tone. "Look at you, are those gray hairs I see on your head?"

Harry patted Dan's jaw.

"You're one to talk. Your hair hasn't gotten any less shaggy. How do they let you in a boardroom?"

"With great care," Dan said. "It's good to see you, my friend. I didn't think you'd agree after our last phone call. How is your mother?"

"She's doing better." Harry let go of him and stepped back to look up at the brick house behind him. "She's actually the reason I decided to accept your offer. I'm moving back to Seoul permanently and I need a job. Is this really Kim Jaehan's house?"

Dan smiled and moved to stand beside Harry.

"Yes it is," he said with a sigh. "He's only been here for three months. No one knows the address. But, I'm sure that won't last long when the new album comes out."

Harry nodded, his gaze taking in the compound.

"With all the rumors about Rebellion, you'd imagine the three of them are hiding away penniless."

Dan shrugged.

"They know how to plan themselves. Harry, they've been through a lot and are still-"

"Yes, you've told me," Harry said, cutting in. "I'm eager to meet this trio. They've completely turned you into a mother hen. You were never this involved with the talent."

Dan met Harry's muddy-brown eyes.

"They're not just talent to me, Harry. That's the first thing we have to get straight. Those three young men are like my children, my best friends, and my family. They come first at all times."

Harry studied him for a moment then smiled.

"I figured. You called me with such worry I was afraid you were going to cry on the phone."

"I was not." Dan protested his cheeks flushing as he turned away from Harry. "I just-"

"Which one of them is it?" Harry asked, studying him.

Dan shook his head.

"Enough, you haven't even met them yet and you're speculating."

Harry smiled.

"Fine, I'll guess by myself."

"Don't screw around," Dan said. "Those three, they're stubborn and more tenacious than you, Harry. They've been up and dropped down so hard it almost broke them. They're not kids, or spoiled. Now that you know that, are you taking the job?"

"Yes, I'll be Rebellion's manager," Harry said, "if only to meet the people who've changed you this much."

"Good." Dan indicated the front door. "Shall we? Junghee, Andre, and Jae are downstairs. They're polishing their last song on the new album. We have a lot to get through to get them back on the market."

"Is it true they can't promote?" Harry asked, as they entered the house.

"We have a lot of roadblocks to face," Dan said with a tight smile. "I've been working these past three months trying to find a way around the roadblocks. Jade Entertainment will act as the band's record label and management agency. I've found two distribution companies willing to work with us as long as we handle all marketing and promotional activities. It's an unfair deal. But the only one we can make considering the situation. No one is willing to risk working with a band that can't promote itself in the normal channels. So, you and Rebellion have a lot of work ahead of you."

"The marketing financial burden falls on Jade Entertainment," Harry said with a frown. "What if they don't sell?"

"We have to sell," Dan said as he led the way to the basement.

Dan stopped at the top of the stairs.

"We can't afford to fail, Harry, for their sake and the company's. I'm staking everything I have, so we have to go aboveboard."

Harry studied him with a frown.

"How much of your money is in this?"

Dan scowled.

"Two minutes with you and we're already discussing my money. You really haven't changed."

Harry poked him on his arm with his index finger.

"You haven't changed either. When you get involved, you really do jump in with both feet. Do they know?"

"No, and it stays that way. Jaehan tends to lose his concentration when problems arise and we can't afford that. I need him focused on the band, and the music."

Harry sighed and Dan continued to the studio.

"Why do you always get me into troublesome situations?" Harry asked following him.

Dan chuckled as they walked along a short hallway in the basement to a pair of green double doors. He pushed one open and urged Harry into the studio first. He smiled when Harry stopped short just as Stronger filled the speakers. Jae sat in a leather chair swinging back and forth, as he listened to their finished song. Junghee lay on the couch tossing a ball on the opposite wall, and Andre was pacing the length of the room.

Stronger was the album's title song. The melody gliding out in fast repetitive riffs, complex and holding the power of rock itself, it left him breathless. The mood still full metal, images of black leather jackets filled his mind and the beat had him banging his head. Jae's voice was sexy; his strong smoky vocals send a thrill racing down Dan's back. It sounded so different with more instruments and added professional polish with a screaming chorus backed by Junghee and Andre's vocals. The song was stunning, and Rebellion's fans would fall in love with it. But his favorite version would always be the one Jae had played for him yesterday.

Dan met Jae's gaze.

This song, Jae had written this song for him. Knowing that changed so much, he at least knew he wasn't just another lover in Jae's life.

"They're amazing," Harry murmured beside him. "Jaehan's vocals have matured, unlike the days he sang for Black Shade. He sounds grown up, strong, and I love that edgy tone."

"They've gone through a lot of training these past three years. They really bloomed on the world stage, but now they'll be at home." Dan smiled when Jae winked at him. "I can't wait to see them on a stage in Seoul."

"I can see," Harry said, giving him a knowing glance. "What is the name of this new album?"

"Breaking Free, this song, Stronger, is the album's title song," Dan answered.

Junghee had said that it was time Rebellion took a stand and broke away from their past. Now that they were back at home, the album was a celebration of all they had endured. Dan fully agreed and hoped that they could manage to make that image clear to Rebellion's fans.

"It should be fun to promote this. No hint of the past, not even the world tour era, we're just going to concentrate on the album and the band having fun," Dan said.

"Good plan," Harry said.

Dan nodded as the song ended and Jae turned to look at Junghee and Andre. Jae smiled when Junghee gave him a thumbs-up and Andre clapped.

"That's a wrap," Andre said happily, putting the song on repeat, he sat in the seat next to Jae and lowered the volume. "Now the fun part, time to tour and meet our fans."

Jae picked up the music sheets scattered around him.

"Fun part for you, Andre, not me," Jae said.

Andre pulled on Jae's ponytail and grinned. "You have fun with it too."

"Guys," Dan interrupted when Jae laughed. "Your new manager is here."

Jae swiveled his seat around to look at Harry with a blank expression. Dan hid a smile as he urged Harry closer.

Junghee got to his feet and Andre followed suit.

"Harry, meet Kang Junghee and Song Andre."

They both bowed.

"Nice to meet you, hyung-nim."

Harry smiled, happy with their welcome. He turned to Jae and Dan could see Junghee and Andre both hold their breath. Jae stood up and bowed to Harry.

"I'm happy to meet you, hyung-nim. I'm Kim Jaehan."

Dan grinned when Junghee and Andre both let out relieved sighs.

****