Your Love For Mine

Regret.

My mind is filled with regret.

Immense regret for what happened after school yesterday.

That afternoon.

With Jennifer, I…

I…

… Just what on earth was I thinking?

And why did it have to go so far?

I guess making impulsive decisions like those is a part of being young, but…

I still can't believe she was so willing to do it with me. The whole thing just feels like a dream thinking back on it now.

Well, even if it didn't happen, I think I would have most likely vented in some other, more self-destructive way.

As if skipping work afterwards wasn't self-destructive enough…

The more I think about it, the more the situation feels completely hopeless.

I think my only option from here is to transfer out.

If I don't have any friends at this school anymore and everyone's gossiping about me, then perhaps I'm better off just transferring to a nearby school.

… Or maybe not. It's better in the long run if I just ride this one out I think.

It'll just be more of the same if I transfer.

No matter what I do, this is always how it turns out. People always treat me like some kind of outcast when they find out who I really am.

I'll just have to get used to this.

Life really enjoys kicking a guy when he's down, huh?

"Haaa…"

Similar thoughts have been running through my mind ever since I woke up this morning, and they've followed me all the way to school.

I'm currently walking up to the school gate while doing my best to avoid any unsavory gazes.

When it comes down to it, my mind is muddled by my fear of being ridiculed by other students.

I'm way too tense. It's like my body is constantly bracing itself for a punch that's never going to come.

Maybe the one I got from Jack's friend last week gave me some kind of PTSD.

Oh well.

I don't think dwelling on sad things is going to make me feel any better. I've already decided to accept that this is how things are now. It's like Chris said, there's no point in wallowing in self-pity.

So why don't I look at the bright side of everything instead, yeah?

After nodding to myself, I think about what possible good things there are for me today.

Needless to say, I'm coming up short.

Well, it's not raining today at least.

There's no dark clouds covering up the sky, and no rain either. All we have left is the sun, which is obnoxiously hot today.

I guess it'd be wrong to say "the sun is hot" though. The reality is, the sun is probably the same average temperature as it always is. As much as it is a strange thing to say, I still find myself saying the "the sun is hot" in situations like these since I think it gets the message across well enough. Similarly, I sometimes find Rachael saying "the rain is falling" when she could just use the word "raining" and save herself the extra syllables. Neither sentence is particularly incorrect though, they're just redundant for completely different reasons.

Seriously though, why is it so hot in the middle of September?

Shouldn't this be when it starts getting colder? This isn't Florida you know.

I sigh.

I sure am thinking of some trivial things, huh?

After a losing myself in thought for a few seconds, I finally walk through the entrance of the main school building.

"…"

Well, I can't say I didn't expect this.

The moment I walk through the doors, quite a few eyes quickly focus on me.

Seems I have quite the reputation now, huh? No one here looks one bit happy to see me.

A few of the students are whispering to one another while shooting me quick glances.

Gossip must be so much fun…

Oh well, if I'm going to live as an outcast then I'll just have to get used to this.

But before I could take more than a few steps forward, I am quickly approached by two seniors I've never met before today.

They stop just short of me on my path to my locker.

Ah great, am I gonna get beat up already? That would be a wonderful start to my day.

"Hey, you that Chase kid everyone's talking about?"

"I am."

"Yeah, well my pal and I are just wondering if, uh…"

Okay, here it comes.

I clench my fists to brace myself.

"You selling any weed, bro?"

Wait, what the hell?

Why they think I… nevermind. I get it.

"No, I don't deal with that stuff, sorry."

"Shit. See man? I told you he wouldn't do it if we straight up ask."

"No way. It's 'cuz you pussied out halfway, bitch."

The two of them casually walk off while swearing at full volume.

Seriously though, even if I were selling weed, why would you ask me in the middle of the hallway? Are you trying to get yourselves caught?

The fact that two seniors think I'm dealing with stuff like that to begin with just goes to show how bad the rumors are getting.

How on earth did they go so far in just one day…?

I scratch my head then continue walking until I finally arrive at my locker.

Sheesh, talk about rough. Why does walking through the halls have to be so stressful all of a sudden?

It's like every little thing I do is…

"…"

She suddenly comes into my vision.

A mere fifteen feet away, I spy none other than a rambunctious red-head that I've gotten to know quite well over the past couple of days.

It's Scarlet.

She's here today too, huh?

Well, she is, but…

Just like yesterday, that other girl, Jennifer Swift, is closely clinging to her side.

Like a mosquito in search of blood.

"…"

If it really is like yesterday, then I'll have no shot at getting Scarlet to talk to me.

And Jennifer being there just makes things worse. Especially after what happened between us back in the SF clubroom.

I grimace.

If that's the case, then there's nothing I can do except hurry up and get out of their way without drawing too much attention.

I open my locker as naturally as I can manage.

Strangely enough, I can feel more than a few onlookers, most of them probably freshmen, staring in my direction.

They must be waiting to see what'll happen between Scarlet and myself.

Wow, I guess I'm kinda popular now.

"…"

Against my better judgement, I take another peek in Scarlet's direction.

She probably noticed me already, because she's trying her best not to look my way.

It doesn't feel like she wants to talk to me after all.

Well, it's no surprise.

There's no way she would after hearing all of those rumors.

In fact, what's weird is that the girl who was next to her moments ago suddenly takes notice of me and begins strutting in my direction.

She gives off so much confidence in such simple actions like these that I can't help but feel intimidated.

But what's more intimidating right now is the fact that she's approaching me at all.

What is she…?

"Omigod Chase!!!"

She calls out to me, and, before I can react to her words, her slender arms wrap themselves around my body.

Once again, I can feel her warmth against my cool body. Of course, that includes her rather large breasts.

"…"

All I can do is look away nervously.

Once her hug is done, she pulls away and smiles with such innocence that I wouldn't be surprised if a camera flash were about to go off behind me.

"Good morning! How're you today?"

"U-um… what are you doing right now, Jennifer?"

"Huuuuh? I thought I told you to call me Jen! Don't tell me you already forgot what happened after school yesterday?"

She pulls herself closer to my ear.

"Did you?"

Oh my god.

"Umm, I'll be leaving ahead of you Jen. I'll see you in class."

"Okayyy, bye Scar!"

"Ack, dammit! Hey, wait!"

Ugh, she definitely got the wrong idea from that…

I decided not to talk to her, but she must feel even worse to see another one of her friends act so touchy-feely with me after everything that's happened.

But still…

"Jennifer, what the hell is this all about?"

"What do you mean, silly? Aren't we like, totally a thing now?"

"…"

Don't tell me that's the spin she's putting on this?

And dammit, don't say it so loudly! People already think I've been getting it on with both Scarlet and Momo at the same time!

If they think that you and I are a thing too, then…

Wait, don't tell me…

No way.

"Jennifer…"

"…"

No, it's impossible.

Because that would mean…

She pulls herself away from me.

"Oh? What's up, Chasey? You look like you've seen a ghost."

Her innocent question betrays her true nature.

And for a split second, I saw it.

A sinister smile spreads across her lips for a split second.

So that's…

That's what Momoka was talking about.

"Please be careful around Jennifer."

Her words from back then.

Ha.

"Goddammit…"

How…

How could I be so stupid?

If you think about it, the motive's right there.

Back when she made up with Scarlet after I got her away from Jennifer's tongue-lashing.

I remember how Jennifer looked at me back then.

In her eyes, I was probably the worst human being alive.

She looked at me like a five year old who had her favorite toy taken from her.

It was that kind of childish, yet earnest anger.

The burning kind you can only feel from the very pit of your stomach.

"What are you thinking about, darling? Everyone's watching us."

"…"

Ah dammit, it's true.

Everyone's looking at me like I'm some kind of criminal. Not only were there rumors about me playing around with Scarlet and Momo, but now even Jennifer fucking Swift can't get her hands off of me.

Shit, this is already going worse than yesterday was.

Just how much did I underestimate this woman…?

She draws herself closer and sticks up to me one more time.

Possibly to pull me into another messed up situation.

"So hey, about yesterday…"

She moans the words out in a playful voice.

But I can't fall for any more of her traps. Not anymore.

"Sorry, can we talk about this later?"

Before she can respond, I slip out from her grasp and dash off.

"Wha- hey! Chasey!"

I can see it now.

It's finally clear.

I understand now.

Everything was a part of her plan to ruin me.

She was the one who spread all of those rumours. She saw Momo with me on Monday after all. It would've been simple for someone with her reach to get a rumor circulating.

She must have organized the dodge-ball session too. With all of the connections she made with athletes like Ryan, it wouldn't be too surprising if she knew a few people who were close to our gym teacher. All she'd need to do then was let our classmates know and they could decide how to punish me as they saw fit.

And the final nail in my coffin was what happened at the clubroom yesterday.

Another trap to ruin my reputation.

It's all just a theory, but it makes perfect sense.

There's no one else who could have perfectly orchestrated this mess.

Jennifer Swift…

I underestimated you.

You were trying to ruin my high school career.

But still, there's something that doesn't make any sense.

How could she have known about my living situation?

I hadn't told anyone about it, and she would've had to have been following me for at least five hours after school to get that kind of information.

I don't know why you'd go so far to get that kind of information, but at least now I have something I can work with.

I just need to explain all of this to Scarlet.

I need to let her know that the girl she calls her best friend isn't all that she pretends to be.

It should be simple, right?

Even if it isn't, I have to believe in that slim chance.

Because if not, then what's left..?

"…"

The more I run, the more I find myself feeling hopeful about the future.

Just moments ago I was okay with just living my high school career with these rumors on my back.

But now that I know the truth of it, I'm suddenly filled with newfound motivation to make things right.

And the first step towards that goal just so happens to be in Scarlet's hands.

"…"

"Hey."

I stop in my tracks.

A voice I know all too well calls out to me.

But from where…?

I scan the area for any sign of a familiar face.

…

Oh, there he is.

"Liam Hemsworth, right?"

"It's Jack, dude…"

Right, my bad.

Sitting on the windowsill of a classroom like some sort of delinquent is everyone's favorite musician, Jack Bourne.

He seems to be scrolling through his phone right now so his eyes aren't focused on me at all.

"Um, what's up?"

"Are you looking for Scarlet?"

"…"

Didn't think I'd ever hear that name from his lips again after what we agreed on.

Actually come to think of it, he probably heard the rumors too, huh? He must think I'm a terrible person after everything that's happened between us.

Great, this is just what I needed right now.

"If you are, then I think I saw her running that way."

He points at a separate hallway that leads to the gymnasium.

Wait, huh? I don't think the girls have their separate gym class today, do they?

Still, that Jack would help me find her like that is…

"Aren't you upset?"

"Huh? About what?"

"The rumors. Don't you think I'm a hypocrite?"

I mean, I called you out on being a womanizer because I heard some rumors about you, but it kinda looks like there's similar ones floating around about me now too.

"… Nah, I don't."

"Huh?"

He slides his phone into his pocket and looks up at the ceiling.

"I dunno man. There's been so many fake-ass rumors going around about me that I'm kinda desensitized to those things now, y'know? This month is especially bad, ferreal."

"…"

"It still pains me to say it, but I think you're the best guy for Scarlet in this entire shitty school. Cause like, I was texting her for three weeks and she barely said a damn word to me. Like, you kiddin' me? I'm Jack Bourne dammit, why ain't I interesting enough for you? But when you ran up to her that day, she looked like she saw Moses part the freakin' red sea right before her eyes. That's when I realized it. I've got nothin' on you there. No rumor's gonna convince me that you aren't the one for her. You'd have to do that on your own. Call it my ego or whatever, but I wouldn't lose to anyone except 'the one' when it comes to girls."

Seriously…?

"… How one arth can you believe in me so much?"

He scratches his head.

"As much as the rumors kinda exaggerate it, I do kinda get around. So I like messing around with girls sometimes, who cares? We're young and it's fun to me. Let me live it up a little, y'know? But anyway, I'll let you in on a little secret about me."

A secret…?

He leans in a little bit and speaks to me in a hushed voice.

"I'd never take a punch the way you did for a single one of those girls."

"T-that so?"

He nods and returns to his normal position.

"Yep, and I've fucked with a few crazy hot senior girls too. Wouldn't do that for any of 'em though. Not-a-one. What you did for Scarlet last week– that was real shit. I don't think most guys would throw themselves at three bigger dudes like that just for another girl. It's just too scary, y'know? Especially if you only like 'em cuz they're cute."

Huh…

"So don't worry about what I think. Or what anyone else thinks. It might be easier said than done, but just keep doing you and try to find satisfaction in that instead. They'll come around if you stick to your guns for long enough. And if they don't then fuck it, you're better off without 'em."

"Yeah, I guess you're right."

I take a deep breath, and exhale slowly.

"Thanks man, you really helped me out."

"Hey, you owe me."

After saying those words, he hops off the window sill and heads to the staircase off to the side.

"Tell 'er I said hi though. Believe it or not, I did kinda have a thing for her after a while."

I stare silently as his back until his figure disappears behind a corner.

Jack Bourne.

It seems like you're another person I've misunderstood.

You might just be one of the coolest guys in this entire school.

I kinda get why all those girls keep dropping themselves into your lap now.

Though, I don't think I'll actually say hi to her for you if she does end up forgiving me. That experience might have been a little traumatic for her after all.

Still, the gym, huh? If I recall, she had a few text books in her hand back at the lockers.

I don't think she has gym first period at all.

At the same time, I don't have any reason to doubt Jack's testimony so it doesn't hurt to check the place out.

I turn away from the staircase and walk slowly through the hallway.

If she is there, then what should I even say?

How do I explain what happened with Jennifer?

How do I explain that her best friend is an inexplicably manipulative and evil person?

Actually, is it even possible at all?

"…"

After a few seconds of contemplating, I eventually arrive at the door to the gymnasium.

It doesn't stand out much as far as doors at this school go, but for some reason I feel intimidated just by looking at it.

After all, on the other side of this door could be the girl who started all of this.

The girl who pulled me into this pretend relationship.

"…"

I slap my face.

Don't think about what-ifs, Chase. You can do this. No fear. You've dealt with worse stuff than just this.

And, after a deep breath, I turn the knob and push the door.

Once it opens, I'm greeted by a sight that I'll probably remember for the rest of my life.

Scarlet Sterling is laughing.