Your Majesty, Please Stop!

Chapter 20: This damn literary talent is too impressive.

"Xin Zhuo, what you said earlier was hilarious. It cracked me up. I am that upright and honest man. Here's what happened..."

A few hours later, the skinny monkey once again braved the mountains and rivers to deliver Sun Wu's reply.

"What did Sun Wu say this time?"

Cui Ying'er and a few others gathered around. After a detailed discussion, the head of the family mentioned a few idioms like "when lips are gone, teeth will be cold" and "making a sound in the east to strike in the west." At first, they didn't think much of it, but after digesting it for a few hours, they felt that it made sense the more they thought about it.

Therefore, understanding Sun Wu's intentions became particularly important for the safety of Fulong Village.

"He didn't say much, just twenty pages and over three thousand words. He only wrote about the leaking cave in their Tiger Mountain stronghold and how a sow gave birth to piglets!" Xin Zhuo handed over the letter expressionlessly.

Cui Ying'er took it and frowned as she read two pages, but she didn't feel like continuing.

Han Qiuniang couldn't help but curse, "Has Sun Wu lost his mind? Can't he just say it in a simpler way?"

"Are there any literate people in the Tiger Mountain stronghold?" Xin Zhuo asked the skinny monkey kneeling on the ground. At this moment, he fully understood the importance of literacy, at least it could help clarify things.

"Who would become a bandit if they can read? It's better to go and become a scholar for fun." Huang Dagui and Bai Jianxi squatted in the corner of the wall, looking embarrassed. Then they realized that the head of the family seemed to be a literate person, so they touched their noses and remained silent.

It was the skinny monkey kneeling below who, having seen Xin Zhuo twice, estimated that "Lord Xin" wasn't some fierce and evil killer. He was actually somewhat indignant, saying, "What's wrong with Lord Xin? Our head of the family is very knowledgeable. It's just his first time writing a letter to someone, so he's a bit nervous. This is the content we discussed with Military Advisor Wang Calabash. We thought Lord Xin would understand!"

Is there really a deeper meaning?

Xin Zhuo remained silent for a while, crumpled the letter into a ball, and threw it beside the skinny monkey. Suppressing his emotions, he said with a gentle smile, "I'll write another letter and bring it to Sun, the head of the family. He will naturally understand!"

He picked up the pen and wrote for a while before handing it to the skinny monkey.

...

Two hours later, on the towering peaks, in the maze-like caves, on the treacherous terrain of the North Peak.

In the largest cave, bright torches were lit, and several tables and chairs were placed crookedly. The ground was littered with bones and toppled wine jars.

In the depths, two young and handsome but numb-looking peasant women lay on torn cotton quilts and tiger skins, their faces covered in tears.

Sun Wu and another middle-aged man with a mustache walked towards the entrance of the cave wearing only their underpants. They hurriedly took the letter, saying, "It's here, it's here!"

After opening it, they saw the following words:

"When writing a letter, first plan it out. The words should be smooth, and the content should be clear. There's no need for excessive elaboration. Just briefly mention the main points.

The so-called praise of truth, goodness, and beauty should not be empty words. Simple words can fully explain what you want to express. Adding too many trivial matters will only lose the original intention and appear exaggerated, which is very unattractive. I also can't understand what Sun brother means. Don't you agree?"

Sun Wu finally finished reading, feeling that it was all "a mess" and "incomprehensible." He looked at the middle-aged man with a mustache beside him and said, "Wang Calabash, what do you think? Daddy is exchanging letters with someone for the first time, and it's embarrassing. But this Xin Zhuo kid only wrote one page, looking down on someone?"

Wang Calabash pinched his mustache and smiled proudly, "Seeing is believing. This Xin Zhuo claims to be a literate person, but it turns out he has nothing to say. Our writing is much better. We have stories within stories, with seventeen or eighteen characters, as the saying goes: extremely disappointing!"

"This... this kid is a fool. Can't he understand what I mean? My stronghold has many matters, and it's vast." Sun Wu rubbed his hands, pacing back and forth, feeling restless.

"Keep writing!" Wang Calabash gritted his teeth and a glimmer of wisdom flashed in his eyes. "Write more, he will understand eventually!"

...

Early the next morning, the skinny monkey's letter was once again delivered to Fulong Village.

Xin Zhuo held the thick envelope and had a bad feeling. When he opened it, his suspicions were confirmed.

"Xiao Xin, you need to read more books, like me..."

It started with a typical forum argumentative style.

In the next 5,000 words or so, there was a jumble of random writing. It started with a mother pig giving birth to piglets, then went on to talk about the foot odor of a certain girl in a cave. Then, the topic suddenly shifted to how delicious the beef noodles at Shili Pu were.

Xin Zhuo remained silent for a moment, then laughed. He realized that Sun Wu was simply an ignorant person, just like a third-rate writer in his past life who had brilliant ideas but ended up writing hastily, worse than an elementary school composition, and even forgot what he wanted to express.

"Boss, I think it's written very well!" Huang Dagui, with a cunning look on his face, approached. "The stinky feet of that woman, I think it's quite clever. A gentle touch of those little stinky feet, it's a unique delicacy."

"Huang Dagui, die!"

Han Qiniang, who had long been fed up, couldn't help but draw her knife and chase Huang Dagui around the village three times.

"Sun Wu probably took the alliance letter as an opportunity to show off his literary talent, but it's his own self-perceived talent. As a result, the more he wrote, the more he deviated from the original intention."

Cui Ying'er, who was clear-headed, said, "I guess they realized that the officials only deal with them and they are afraid, so they want us to do something for them. It's better to let Xiaogou go and ask them!"

"Let's discuss it later."

In fact, Sun Wu's willingness to write the letter had already revealed his intentions. He hadn't accepted the amnesty and wanted to cause trouble together. That was enough. As for what he was thinking, who cared?

At this moment, Xin Zhuo's interest was piqued. The Fenglong Village was temporarily safe, and the Blood Qi on the surface of Cui Ying'er and the other four was getting stronger day by day, presumably because the Lunar Serenity Well water was gradually taking effect.

He could also take advantage of the situation and reap the benefits. The future looked promising.

Since he had nothing better to do, if Sun Wu wanted to play, he would accompany him.

Who couldn't talk nonsense?

"Prepare the ink and paper, I want to challenge this idiot!"

...

"Boss Sun, this mountain is quite interesting. My little yellow dog has red fur, which seems to resemble the trees in the village. One of them is a maple tree, and the other is also a maple tree. The rest, hey, are all maple trees. It also reminds me of Aunt Li's snack stall in Fufeng Prefecture. She not only sells stinky tofu but also sells spicy stinky tofu..."

In the gathering cave of the Menghuo Bandit Gang, Sun Wu spent an hour reading every word and every sentence. Twenty-five pages of paper, filled with all sorts of trivial matters.

After putting down the letter, Sun Wu couldn't help but sigh, "The waves behind drive on those before, each wave higher than the last. This kid has surpassed me by three points. He has improved so quickly, and his writing is excellent!"

Military advisor Wang Calabash glanced over it roughly, "What should we do? We are all bandits. If that kid is not only skilled in martial arts but also better than us in writing, won't we be unable to be the leader? This won't do!"

"What does the military advisor think?" Sun Wu asked.

Wang Calabash narrowed his eyes, "Keep writing, let him feel ashamed, and naturally, we will be the ones he looks up to!"

...

Back and forth.

Xin Zhuo wrote a total of eight letters, about 30,000 words, covering topics from maple trees to Little Yellow, from Little Yellow to the ladle in the kitchen, and even associating it with whether the emperor used bamboo or leaves to wipe after defecating, and how a reluctant tailor couldn't be a good bandit, and so on.

Sun Wu, unwilling to be outdone, wrote eight letters totaling 50,000 words, from mother pigs giving birth to piglets to three dogs rubbing their feet, and from a lantern in front of Li Widow's house in Yangcheng County to a bandit having a boil on his buttocks.

Who knows what nonsense they wrote, but in the end, whoever wrote the most and went off on the most tangents was considered impressive.

So, Xin Zhuo's ink ran dry, his pen was worn out, and he ran out of paper. To his surprise, he discovered that his calligraphy had improved.

...

At the foot of the North Peak, by the Sima River.

There was a camp in the jungle that stretched for two li, with constables in black uniforms and waist knives occasionally appearing.

"Head constable, the messengers coming and going from the bandit stronghold have surrendered. We have confiscated all the secret letters."

A constable hurriedly ran towards the river.

On a secluded stone beach by the riverbank, a fishing hook with an earthworm bait was cast, landing steadily in the slow-flowing water.

Chen Jing, due to years of martial arts practice, had a stable posture and a long breath. At this moment, he held a fishing rod in his right hand. Under his simple hat, his pair of phoenix eyes were deep and profound. "Very good!"

(End of this chapter)