you are my Destiny

Chapter 80
Regarding Fu Tinglan's attitude, I went through it several times carefully in my heart.In fact, in my life, I have always been very worried because of her indifference. When I was a child, I saw Bai Liang and Yuan Huizi acting like a baby, and every time I saw her, my heart was always empty.

What Chen Siyuan said is right, I am too fragile, I like to be more serious, but I am also spoiled by everyone, and I have no power to restrain everything.What makes me angry is that Fu Tinglan has never hugged me at an age when people should hold her in their hands and take care of her. Although she has never suffered anything, she looks happy and carefree on the surface, but I don’t want to be thoughtless either. Going about wasting your life.No matter what people around me have done for me, they can't replace her. Those who haven't experienced it will naturally not be able to understand the pain in my heart.

In those years, as long as I can remember, I have shed tears in front of Fu Tinglan once, this time is the second time, when I close my eyes, I am confused, no matter how overwhelmed I am, I still can’t figure out what to do in my mind. Where to go, after all, I couldn't control the changes in my growth, and I started to suddenly rebel from absolute obedience, and I made up some pictures in my brain, and I made a difficult decision.

From that day on, I completely changed my style of painting.

The place where Chen Siyuan took me to cut my hair was in the city center of Huacheng, about an hour and a half drive away from where we live.

Later, Chen Siyuan and I sat in a Japanese restaurant.I rested my chin in one hand, and was fiddling with a chopstick in the other hand. There was a thick cookbook in front of the table, colorful and colorful. I flipped through it casually, imitating Chen Siyuan's appearance.

Later, I thought carefully about where the changes in me came from at that time. In my eyes, he and Fu Tinglan are actually the same kind of person. The only difference is that he can be warm to the bone or cold to the bone. Familiar people are three points cold and four points alienated, and three points incomprehensible profundity, which is very cool. I obviously didn't learn the essence, but I took a picture of a cat and a tiger with a touch of evil and uninhibited, a childish doll The face looked extraordinarily out of touch.

In the past three years, I was often brought out by Chen Siyuan, and I was used to eating and drinking outside, but this was the first time I ate this kind of food.He was afraid that I wouldn't be used to it, so he bought something else on purpose. On the plate in front of me, there was a hamburger that didn't fit.

I can't sit quietly in one place like Fu Tinglan, with a well-balanced posture, elegant and calm, even if I was a good boy for a few years when I was a child, it's because I'm still lying at the bottom of the well, and I don't even know where the mouth of the well is.But at my current age, there is one thing that ignites the fire in my heart. Naturally, I have to find a way to jump out of that narrow mouth of the well.Perhaps avoiding Fu Tinglan was just an excuse, and I just wanted to go out and have a look.

"Brother, why do you think our family always lives in such a remote place? I logged on to the Internet a few days ago and saw a lot of pictures, but I don't know where they are. It's so strange." I wanted to say it was beautiful, but After thinking about it, I changed a word. If it is said to be beautiful outside, it is not. Compared with our current environment, most of them may not be as good as here. I searched and found a strange word to describe it, and it looks fresh. Level, this is the only thing I can feel more appropriate.

Chen Siyuan was amused by my lazy and entangled appearance, he prepared the sauce for me in a small dish, and didn't plan to return it to me.So I tentatively asked again, "If one day I am no longer by your side, will you miss me?" I fiddled with the paper with my fingertips, looked at the delicate face opposite, and pretended to be easy to show my stubbornness expression.

The air was a bit stagnant, and the picture was quiet for more than ten seconds. He tilted his head slightly and looked at me. The black eyes behind the gold-rimmed glasses asked me silently, and then said in a low voice: "Our grandma Tang also has something to say in the conversation, so tell me, what do you want to ask!"

I lowered my head and fiddled with a folded tissue with bare hands, and suddenly raised my eyes a little seriously, "I'm about to enter my third year of high school. Recently, my teachers often talked about life and future majors in school."

Chen Siyuan is like a father and brother to me. To be honest, although I have a rivalry with Fu Tinglan at this time, I have no idea about the future. I really want to hear what he told me. Opinion.

However, I don't know, such a simple question seems to have hit Chen Siyuan's dead spot, and his position can't give me any opinion.Fu Tinglan is a special existence to him, and all the good things he has done to me come from Fu Tinglan.Now I want to get rid of the appearance, see his heart, and want him to give me real advice. Whether he pushes me away or keeps me, he doesn't have any identity that can tell the truth.

Caught off guard, his face became very serious, and he put the chopsticks on the plate, and the crisp sound made me startled.

Chen Siyuan looked out of the window, his face was innocent for a while, and there was a cold and alienated light in his eyes. Soon, he withdrew his gaze, looked at me, and glanced at me with a half-smile, his deep eyes were slightly reddened, "Is it still possible to see me now?" There is almost a year to choose, at your age, I am also constantly changing, many things will naturally know the answer when the time comes."

My situation at this time made him indifferently think of a long time ago, 100 years ago, he was full of joyful expectations, and he also privately speculated about the rebellion, and later became obsessed with helplessness, but now how to go? He didn't know that he was in a situation where both sides would suffer.

Thinking of this, his whole body shivered from the cold, his youthful appearance was just to make the most of his affection, to identify the one he loved wholeheartedly, but he had to give up halfway, because Seeking what he wanted in his life, he took risks and went round and round, but he unknowingly pushed himself to the point of no return, he was really stupid.

I thought that everything was under control, everything was in order, everything was stable, and there was no further disturbance, but if he really mentioned the word "farewell", he would be secretly melancholy.For a hundred years, no matter whether he is Shen Anzhi or Chen Siyuan, he has always been that lonely soul, blinded by obsession, except that Fu Tinglan is his obsession, he is almost alone, even with the support of unfathomable predictive forces , those are not family members either.Unknowingly, he has already regarded me as a family member. If he can open his heart and see clearly, he has lived for a century, and he is not as free and easy as I was when I was young and frivolous.

Life is really helpless!What you can't get after pursuing in your life, what you are possessing, but you don't know it yourself.

Chen Siyuan couldn't tell what was going on in his heart, and he worried about me for a while like a father or elder brother.He suddenly realized that it was too late to take me back to the past at this time. It was obvious that I had grown up slowly and experienced the new environment. I couldn't adapt to the new environment, he forced the corners of his mouth up, and suddenly rubbed my hair like a father, and said softly, "Toffee, I will help you if I can help you, go to your place boldly Just live life and be happy."

Maybe Fu Tinglan locked me up for too long, maybe it was because Chen Siyuan took me out of the sight of a frog in a well. It is true that I have never been outside. Although I have no imagination to predict anything, I really have thousands of desires. With Chen Siyuan For your encouragement, my heart is secretly full of joy, and I am also very grateful.

I swallowed the juice, and my eyes suddenly lit up, "Brother, you have been to many places, tell me, where is your favorite place?"

(End of this chapter)