imperial psychologist

Chapter 179 Bai Yi's Past

When Bai Yi was working, Bai Ling reached out to clean up the fallen leaves and weeds on the grave.

However, besides these, there was also a withered and yellowed bamboo branch inserted into the tomb.

"This...do you want to pull it out?" Bo Ling asked, pointing at the bamboo branch.

"I'll do it later." Bai Yi replied.

He opened the cover of the cowhide water bag and poured some water on the axe. Repeatedly, all the rust on the axe blade was quickly worn away.

Bai Yi picked up the axe, swung it in his hand to test the feel, then stood up and walked deeper into the forest. Bo Ling followed closely and found a hidden bamboo forest nearby.

Bai Yi searched around for a long time, and finally found a bamboo branch that hadn't grown too high. He stepped forward and slashed at the root of the bamboo, cutting off the tender bamboo and all its branches and leaves. He turned his back Go, and carry the chopped bamboo on your shoulders.

Looking at this scene, Bo Ling suddenly realized that the withered yellow bamboo branch on the grave just now was probably the new bamboo that Bai Yi cut down last year.

"Let me help you." Bai Ling took the old ax from Bai Yi's hands with both hands, and walked side by side with him, "Do you come here every year to do these things?"

"Yeah." Bai Yi nodded, "When we move, I'll set up a tomb in another place, it's not too much trouble anyway."

The two walked to the grave together, Bo Ling put down the axe, held the old bamboo with both hands and pulled it out, and then Bo Yi faced the previous hole and inserted the new bamboo vigorously.

"The person buried here is...?"

"My mother." Bai Yi replied calmly, and then seemed to feel that there was some ambiguity, and added, "...in the previous life."

After finishing all this, the two took out the few remaining paper money from Bai Yi's bag, pierced it with wood incense, and stood it in front of the tombstone.

After all, this is a forest, and Bai Yi didn't intend to burn incense with an open fire.

Boyi dug a hole in front of the tombstone with his bare hands, and took out the letter that had just been opened by the gatekeeper.

He squatted there and read it again by himself, then tore up the letter paper finely, and finally put back the soil he dug out just now.

"Overall, I've had a good year this year, and I've written the details in the letter." Bai Yi whispered to himself, "It's just that there were a little more accidents...all the daddies in the world are black, and it's not easy. host."

Bo Ling originally bowed to the tombstone and worshiped silently, but when he heard Bai Yi talking to himself, he couldn't help laughing.

After finishing all this, the two sat down on a raised rock not far from the green tomb.

"The scenery here is pretty good, it's hard for you to find such a place." Bai Ling said softly.

She and Bai Yi sat across each other. At this time, Bai Ling faced the mountains and rivers in front of him, while Bai Yi sat in the shadow with his back against the convex stone.

"It's good to sit here once in a while." Bai Yi replied in a low voice after a while, "It's just that those bushes are too annoying."

"But it's good to keep it, it can block the tourists who go up the mountain to enjoy it."

When I see the world, I feel small, and the bad things in life are even smaller.

Bai Ling leaned against the boulder comfortably in the mountain wind, and suddenly noticed Bai Yi's gaze, and couldn't help but look back, "Why are you staring at me again?"

Bai Yi's eyes were gloomy, "I always feel like we've all changed after entering the palace, and now we've changed a little bit, just take a look."

Bo Ling was stunned for a while, and suddenly remembered the evening when he confronted the imperial physician, walking back to Chengqian Palace alone in the twilight.

At that time, she also faintly felt that some kind of change was taking place in herself, like a singer who was gradually getting used to switching masks, but the place where she stood was not the stage, but the palace.

That feeling is strange, wonderful, and has some secret unease.

"That day in the Qianqing Palace..." Bai Ling lowered his eyes and cut directly to the point, "You seem to be in pain."

"Yeah." Bai Yi didn't deny it at all, "To be honest, I just don't feel well right now."

Bai Ling didn't ask any more questions, but replaced his words with his gaze, looking at Bai Yi, waiting for his next words.

Bai Yi's silence was very long this time, and Bai Ling kept listening to his breathing.

His eyes stopped on the green mound not far away, and it took him a long time to raise his head and look at the blue sky.

"You asked me once before, why you are so concerned about the concubine's illness, and whether I have also been troubled by depression in the past."

"Ah."

"I don't have one." Bai Yi said in a low voice, "but I have taken care of a patient with depression for a year, and it's also postpartum depression—that's my mother. Unlike the imperial concubine, my mother has always had seasonal depression , but after giving birth to a second child in middle age, it never got better."

Bai Ling straightened his back gradually.

Bai Yi glanced at Bai Ling, "I haven't told you about my mother?"

Burling shook his head.

"Actually, there's nothing to talk about." Bai Yi's voice was hoarse, "When I was a PhD student in North America, my parents suddenly responded to the second-child policy and asked for my younger sister. But since the second trimester, my mother has been depressed. She can hardly do anything, and my dad can’t support the family at all, so they told me when they couldn’t hide it from me. I asked my tutor to suspend school for a year, go home to look after the children, and take care of my mother.”

Bai Ling suddenly understood why Bai Yi knew how to take care of children.

"As soon as I got home, I felt that my mother's condition was not right. I insisted on taking her to the hospital. The doctor's diagnosis was severe depression and anxiety. It was recommended to stay in the hospital for a month. I had no choice but to hold my sister and run back and forth. Go to the hospital."

Bo Ling felt a little distressed when he heard it, "It must be very tiring to take care of two people at the same time."

Bai Yi sighed softly, "During that time, I was basically spinning, and I didn't know how I got here."

"Where's your dad? Isn't he coming to help?"

Bai Yi raised his eyebrows lightly, and snorted with a half-smile, "He objected to going to the hospital from the very beginning, and he just wanted to call me home to help out temporarily. The shopkeeper...he is quite good at this kind of thing."

Berlin was silent.

"After entering the hospital, there were a lot of things. Because my mother is an advanced mother, she didn't do some preparations before and during pregnancy, so her body basically collapsed." Bai Yi stopped, took a deep breath, and continued, "But one The effect of the month of hospitalization is still very good. The doctor said that my mother is very lucky in this situation, because her body responds very well to the medicine. After being discharged from the hospital, as long as she insists on taking the medicine, she will be able to fully recover in two or three years.

"I remember that my mother had a wisdom tooth removal operation one month after she was discharged from the hospital. That night my mother couldn't sleep because of the anesthesia and the pain, and I forgot to change my sister's diaper at night... As a result, both ends were crying. Waiting for me to see it. I’m so tired I’m slumped on the living room floor and I don’t feel like my body is mine, I don’t know who I am, I don’t know where I am.”

He suddenly laughed and looked at Bo Ling, "...Have you ever had a similar feeling?"

　Thanks to book friend 16061173, Miyue Miyue and ysshiau for the monthly tickets~
　　
　
(End of this chapter)