Chinese dining table

Chapter 351 The appearance of an official is very important

On the first day of February, Yunchu finally stepped into the center of the political center of the Tang Dynasty - the Tai Chi Hall under the envious eyes of the fellow sufferers who had been blown by the cold wind in the past.

A little eunuch led Yunchu to a corner on the right side of the main hall with this three-foot-square blanket. After putting down the mat, he signaled Yunchu to take off his shoes, and then took Yunchu's shoes.

At this time, the smell in the hall was already very bad.

They are obviously the most distinguished group of people in the Tang Dynasty, but there is still a horrible smell of feet lingering in the hall.

If it was just the smell of foot odor, Yunchu felt that he could still tolerate it, after all, he had been with a large group of dead people in the Western Regions for half a month.

However, not only the smell of foot odor, but also people farting here and there, especially the group of generals on the left, they seem to be farting in a competition, and they are laughing.

... This is the most serious and noble place in Datang?
A guy who also looked like a fifth-rank military general raised his butt and let out a long, loud and extremely stinky fart at Yunchu's side, then proudly said to the civil servants who were holding their noses at Yunchu's side: "If you are not convinced, you can come and beat me. If you can't beat me, let me bear with it. A group of sour men are also worthy of discussing the future of honor and disgrace."

It was the first time Yunchu saw such a lowly person in this world. He picked up the ivory wat board that was half a foot longer than the other people's wat board, and as soon as his legs exerted strength, he jumped over and lifted the heavy wat board. , slapped that pouting Lao Gao's ass heavily.

"Pa—" a loud noise spread throughout the Tai Chi Hall.

"Aw—" Immediately afterwards, an extremely shrill scream resounded through the Tai Chi Hall again.

When Yun Chu looked at the broken ivory wat board in his hand and felt a little regretful, a civil servant also in a red robe next to him silently pulled out his elm wat board from his sleeve and handed it to Yun Chu.

Yun Chu thanked him very politely, and while the guy was still in severe pain and had no chance to react, he put one foot on his back, swung the heavy elm wat board, and followed this The guy's buttocks and back were beaten down heavily, and he had to gather up [-] boards before giving up.

And that general screamed continuously like a pig being slaughtered, causing all the people in the court to look this way. The leader Li Ji and Changsun Wuji all got up impressively, looking very angry.

Yun Chu's hands are very heavy, especially his concept of hitting people is different from others'. If he doesn't make a move, if he does, he will do his best, and he will not give the opponent the slightest chance to fight back.

The reason why he made the move is entirely because "Fart Fight!" is more popular in the court recently.

That is, as long as the civil servant opened his mouth, the sound of farts from the general's side would be heard endlessly.Make the whole court hall smelly.

This way of fighting can be traced back to the early years of Taizong, and the instigator was Yuchi Jingde who was lying at home without knowing his life or death.

Emperor Taizong angrily asked him why he was so rude, Yuchi Jingde said that most of the military generals came from reckless backgrounds, and when arguing with civil officials in this court hall, they were stupid and couldn't explain them, so they had to use the art of war.

In other words, if the mouth is no match, use the lower mouth to supplement it.

However, the most bizarre thing is that Emperor Taizong did not refute Yuchi Jingde, so this fighting method was passed down, from the earliest one or two people using this method, to the current collective air pollution. (historical facts, not fiction)
Yunchu could imagine that when Yuchi Jingde farted against the civil servants, it must be that the civil servants' speeches were extremely inconsistent with Emperor Taizong's mood, so he ignored Yuchi Jingde's fart war.

It's just that Emperor Taizong didn't expect that this bad habit would spread to Li Zhi. Emperor Taizong didn't prohibit anything, so Li Zhi naturally wouldn't prohibit it.

Yun Chu struck hard. Seeing the buttocks of this fifth-rank military general was opened, the group of generals exploded immediately, pointing at Yun Chu and yelling endlessly, and many people were gearing up to fight Yun Chu. field.

Yun Chu held the wat board and said, "Those who want to scold us will continue after the court, and those who want to fight will go to the military field to fight. There is no such thing as cheap once, and I will stick the barrel of a gun in it so that you can't fart for the rest of your life."

Yun Chu's bravery, the generals had already seen it when they ordered the platform. It is not that there are people in the army who have defeated Yun Chu, but it is definitely not something they can deal with.

In addition, a few days ago, Li Yifu, a holy family member, had just sworn an oath that Yunchu would not be allowed to enter the Taiji Hall again in his life. As a result, after only a few days, Yunchu had already entered the Taiji Hall, and when he came in, He beat a rank five military officer to death with extreme arrogance.

From the screams of the military officer just now, one could tell that this guy didn't show any affection.

The imperial censor came over to look at the military officer's injury, and after confirming that it was a flesh injury, he asked, "Zhang Du, can you still go to court?"

General Zhang Du, the left leader Wei Zhonglang who was beaten by Yunchu, said weakly: "Please allow me to ask for leave."

The censor in the hall waved his hand, and two inner guards came, carefully helping Zhang Du to leave the hall.

Seeing Zhang Du being dragged away, the royal censor said again: "Please observe the etiquette before the king, and don't do it again."

After finishing speaking, he returned to his seat without looking for Yunchu's business, and Li Ji, who was standing in the front, let out a loud fart for some reason: "Magistrate Yun may as well come to this old man to play with his prestige."

Changsun Wuji smiled and said, "Mr. Ying's loud farts are all tolerated by the old man, and the yellow-mouthed child is not affected."

When Li Ji saw that Sun Wuji, the head of civil servants, had spoken, he snorted angrily and sat back on his spot.

The middle-aged official who lent Yunchu the wat board took back the wat board that Yunchu gave him, and said in a low voice, "It's better to hear more about Yinggong's loud farts."

Yun Chu cupped his hands at the other party and said, "In Xia Wannian County Magistrate Yun Chu, I don't know the name of brother Gao."

The middle-aged civil servant replied: "Don't dare, Li Jingxuan, the stupid brother, now he is in the position of Zhongshu Sheren with a little salary to support his family."

In Yunchu's memory, this person was once as famous as Pei Xingjian, and I heard that this person has the ability to never forget. Now, facing such a person, Yunchu is ready to carry out his cautious words and deeds to the end.

After all, no one likes to have a tape recorder by his side when he is talking to others, lest one day he inadvertently says a joke or two, only to be confessed in another occasion, making himself indisputable.

As the eunuch reminded the ministers with a long voice that the emperor had arrived, everyone stood up one after another, holding wat boards in their hands and saluted to the emperor's seat.

The etiquette is very simple. The emperor said that all the officials should be flat, and everyone returned to their blankets, knelt and sat there, and began to pay attention to the court.

Usually at this time, the things discussed in the court hall have nothing to do with a small official like Yunchu.

The Taiji Hall is astonishingly large. It is a full 80 meters away from the emperor's seat to Yunchu. In addition, there are twelve bronze pillars with coiled dragons in the hall, and the pillars are filled with charcoal fire. Big, but warm as spring inside.

For some reason, after entering this hall, Yunchu began to feel drowsy. He knew that this was actually due to the large number of people in the hall and the slight lack of oxygen caused by the twelve stoves.

So, he pulled himself together, took out a copper pot from his arms, and poured himself a cup of tea. Seeing Li Jingxuan looking at him in surprise, he brought Li Jingxuan a cup as well.

Although the tea from Yun's family was bitter, it was full of fragrance, and the two of them used their loose official robes as cover to enjoy the tea slowly.

"It has been six consecutive years that the Tubo people have contacted the Nanzhao tribes in Bozhou. Generally speaking, it started in the year of Taizong Bintian. However, Tubo can give very little to the Nanzhao tribes. Therefore, the Nanzhao tribes The Ministry of Health only took benefits and did not follow in Tobo's footsteps.

However, this has changed since last year. As the bandits from the Tang Dynasty robbed Lu Dongzan’s daughter in the Riyue Mountain area, Qiu Xinggong, Qiu Shenji and his son murdered the Tubo envoy and killed Lu Dongzan on the Xianyang Bridge. After Dongzan's eldest son, Lu Dongzan began to win over the Nanzhao tribes regardless of the cost.

At present, if my Tang Dynasty still adopts a high-handed stance against the tribes of Nanzhao, those stupid Nanzhao savages may fall to Tubo. "

After listening to Li Jingxuan's opinion, Yun Chu listened attentively to the matter of Bozhou that was being discussed for a while, and said in a low voice: "Brother Li has such insight, why don't you go directly to the school?"

Li Jingxuan shook his head and said: "The memorandum of Zhongshu Sheren will not attract His Majesty's attention, it must be played in the name of Zhongshu Sheng.

You have also heard that the opinions of the people in Zhongshu Province tend to put pressure on Nanzhao. They have different opinions, just like summer insects talking about ice. "

Yun Chu picked up the teacup and said, "Let's make a cup for me."

Seeing what Yun Chu said was funny, Li Jingxuan smiled, raised his glass to meet Yun Chu, and drank it down in one gulp.

Soon, the matter of Nanzhao has been discussed, and today is the scene where last year's Xinke Scholars met the emperor.

The names of the Xinke Scholars were unremarkable, and it was not until Yunchu suddenly heard the word "Zhong Kui" that he suddenly became energetic.

Li Jingxuan asked in surprise: "Is this Zhong Kui an old acquaintance with you?"

Yun Chu looked at Li Jingxuan's good-looking face with almost no faults in it, and said, "I heard that this person has a very ugly face, but I never thought that this person can also be a Jinshi."

Li Jingxuan asked in surprise: "Could it be that the magistrate also judges people by their appearance?"

Yun Chu said in amazement: "Look at the princes in the hall, which one is not handsome, how can you tolerate an ugly person in this elegant hall?"

Li Jingxuan shook his head and said: "Judging people by their appearance, the lost Ziyu, how can the court select scholars..."

While talking, I saw a strong man with a height of eight feet, a face like the bottom of a pot, a leopard head around his eyes, and a beard all over his face came in from outside the hall. Yes, different from ordinary people.

Li Jingxuan frowned and said, "This is too ugly."

At this time, Yunchu looked at the extremely ugly man with a smile on his face and said, "I actually like this person. If His Majesty doesn't take this person for a while, I'm willing to take him under my Wannian county administration."

"Hey, didn't you just say that ugly people are not suitable for officials?"

Yun Chu smiled and said, "There are too many ghosts and ghosts in Chang'an City, and it is precisely this kind of person that needs to be suppressed."

　There is another chapter, you read it first, I will continue

　　
　
(End of this chapter)