endless roses

Chapter 13

The wind and rain were dark, Sioux City rarely had such a strong wind, so I brought two umbrellas and waited for a taxi by the side of the road, and cyan was at a cafe by the lake.

Waiting, when the appointed time was approaching, he asked, "Have you set off yet?"

I said: "Don't worry, on the road, go to hide from the rain."

"I want to wait for you outside."

"Have you brought an umbrella?"

"No."

"I'll bring you one."

The time in the taxi is slow, the wind blows past the window, and every whistling is touching the heartstrings. I just lean on the dark window of the car, and the image of the hurrying car passes through every bit of melancholy, and my mood is tense. Holding it, being delayed, some pain is magnified, and some are painstakingly engraved.The rain slapped, huh, huh, slapping angrily, I don't know if I'm ready to meet new feelings.I recalled those past stories desolately, and then the shock and scenery in my heart disappeared from now on.

"Grow up, peaceful girl," I said to myself.The rain fell on the world, like tears from the past, and the dark sky made the window reflect her face, which was more beautiful than any other moment in the past, except when she was missing, it was like in an ancient poem.

There is a dull pain in my life, a silent and desolate dream.Howling, like an arrow hitting her cheek, like the raindrops left outside the window, it was crystal water droplets, which wet the newly bought small leather bag and faded her dream.I'm a little cynical, but you and I are in it, aren't we?

She is in the opposite direction, walking along the lake, running along the lake.The umbrella was folded by the wind, and she put it in her bosom, protecting her forehead, so as to prevent some rain from entering her eyes, wet her shoes and socks, wet her skirt, and her heart was heavy, just like this weather, her heart was full of tears. The quietly blooming rose, in a garden, is like a little ghost jumping for joy.

"Finally, here you are," he said.

She said, "Yes." Handing over the umbrella, the visitor looked at the waiting person with a smile.

"I always think of you after we left Hangzhou last time. Do you feel offended when you say that?" I pursed my lips, not knowing whether I wanted to laugh or be shy, please, say something, don't look at it.I squeezed out a smile and asked, "What are you looking at?"

"You are beautiful."

"I know."

The girl at the front desk asked, "What do you want?"

"Cappuccino," I said, and walked away.

"A cup of cappuccino, how about you?" She said to cyan.

"latté."

"Okay, pay here."

I picked a table by the window, the view is very good, I mean, the rainy corridor, this picture is good, the backpack is leaning on the high platform by the French window.

Waving his hands in front of him, Cyan asked, "What are you looking at?"

I just smiled at him and didn't speak.

"I brought you a greeting card."

"Thank you." I took it and was about to turn around.

"Don't look now." He stopped shyly.

"Ok."

Walking along the lake, I talked about every cafe, told stories, talked about the lake and the scenery by the lake, which is what I am good at, and cyan was listening hard beside me.

"I want to buy you a bouquet of flowers."

"No, you can send me flowers, but don't tell me."

"Then next time, buy it quietly and tell me, okay?"

"Okay."

I don't know who I can miss to the point of going crazy, to tossing and turning, to reviewing old novels exhaustedly, to trying to stop myself from thinking, so sad that my cheeks are hot, in an ordinary sleepless night, I didn't mention it.Two people, holding their own umbrellas, brought two to prevent him from getting too close.

In bad weather, a cold snap, a dream, I am happy to be loved, and painful to give up what I love.It is the storm that invades my eyes and not the memory of the past, the joy of the possibility of a new life not of forgetting, I am sad as death, sinful, whose rose?

Strange travelers in the torrential rain, at this very moment.He on the other side of the ocean, or a shadow in his dreams.

I waited anxiously, waiting for an accident in my youth to deprive me of my life.Waiting to be remembered and then forgotten.

"What's for dinner?" he asked.

"You decide."

"How's the pizza?"

"Okay." Actually, I don't like pizza, and I think the taste is very ordinary.

On another window sill, we looked at the city and smiled at each other. It was so beautiful. The buildings in Sioux City under the night were shining with lights, and the city was like flowing waves in the phantom; A point on the pale line; the many small windowsills in the tall buildings are the happiness they pursue all their lives.

The pizza is terrible, the atmosphere is very ambiguous, the cheese-flavored biscuits are very sweet, you seem to be fascinated, and I am embarrassed and bright.

Hey boy, you are such a strange person in my world.

Hey boy, don't even think that one day your kiss will enter her heart.

Don't imitate my speech, let alone have expectations, the future is always absurd, isn't it?
Look, the light and shadow of the financial building are flickering, and there is a broken street lamp; in the dark light of the western restaurant, there are images of a few foreigners talking, and in fact they need a glass of wine; my hair is a little unnatural The volume is too high temperature, an unsuitable radian.

It's nothing to be depressed, boy, you came from far, far away, to China to find a dream.What kind of dream is it that makes you travel far away from home for several years? What kind of dream is it that makes you miss it so much but never go back.

Don't you think it's funny? If you misunderstand it, just misunderstand it. It's okay to treat it as a ridicule without explaining it.continue.

I know you don't drink, but how about a little whiskey in this glass?Haha, just kidding, drink your juice.

What will be my role in the future.Just thinking about it randomly, no need to answer.Friends, what are you tied down by, and what are you looking forward to, ha, just smile, I’m not talking to you.

I remember everyone in my life, I remember everyone in Dreamland, yeah.

When you find that it is not a preference, how should you deal with yourself as a lover?Even if there is a place to live in the cold world, even if it is understood and cared for.The tenderness you thought was like water is just the most basic useless thing, will you be depressed?

If this moment of silence bothers you, go, for there is nothing more to say.Please, don't tell me about your pain, it's worthless, don't tell your dreams, drink your juice.

Ignore this teasing glance, you don't care if she is insincere, go, I'm not a good girl, cyan, go, get out, get out of your peaceful life.

(two)
Cyan suddenly became mischievous, leaned forward and asked, "Where is your kitten?"

I patted him on the shoulder, calmly, and answered silently: "It's you."

"So, where is your boy? Where is he?" In fact, this kind of question and answer is a bit funny. I didn't want to talk, but out of my selfishness, I didn't want to make my lover sad, so I squeezed out a gentle smile.This is not difficult, the reluctance in it is well hidden, and at the same time it sends a "please end this conversation" signal.

"Sexy brain, isn't it?" I nodded slightly, and he smiled like a teenager, chewing on this conversation over and over again, and I guess, being recognized has a special meaning to him.

(three)
"Please, hold me tighter." He closed his eyes, and the boat without a safe haven was not as uneasy as he was at the moment.

"Okay." I said softly and jokingly, without losing my playful attitude.

Standing on tiptoes is to better embrace the lover, so, condescending, embrace the whole person without omission, and endless warmth.He relaxed in his embrace, his brows were still unfurled, and he seemed to be saying heavily, "Tighten it up a little more."

I hugged him even tighter, like treating an enemy, trying to crush his defenses.The face was so close to the neck, so every slow breath hit his ears, and the warmth that was exhaled softly made him feel a little hot with shame.

(four)
cyan makes decisions very quickly. Sometimes when he passes by a clothing store, he sees something in the right size and buys it right away.I commented on this at the beginning of the meeting, expressing my incompatibility in a complimenting tone, such as "You buy things really quickly", "I am always indecisive in doing things, and I have been thinking for a long time without any results."One praise and one criticism are not very important, so the emotions can also be switched, making a speech of one praise and one praise or meaningless speech to break the silence.I'm sure that the other party understood the meaning of the praise, he turned around almost as soon as the words fell, "Really?" The language is jumping and energetic, and the writing is incredible, hoping to be reconfirmed.

That innocent face made me ashamed, especially to see that in that surprise, it seemed to be a little beam of light from the heart, not just a neon light refracted in the iris.I didn't expect someone to take what I said casually seriously, I didn't expect it, and I didn't hope it at this moment. I suppressed my panic and told him that it was true, so cyan's face was filled with happiness.

(Fives)
"I'm really glad I have you," he said. "What do you mean by 'owning'?" When I was young, I had a concept that there is no affiliation between people.Even if the parents and children are just traveling together, the mother brings a life into the world. At the same time as the baby comes, the world has another misfortune, which cannot be escaped. It spans a lifetime. The degree of pain is measured according to the length of a person. It is already a sin. .Of course, we cannot deny the greatness of her life.However, this is not "owning", they are still independent individuals, inextricably linked, but also separated.If the response he got was "I'm glad you said that" or "I'm happy to have you too", he probably wouldn't be so confused, as expected, so he took the opportunity to say: "What do you think 'owning' means? ? My boy, give me a definition."

"What?" Cyan thought for a while, then said, "Beside you, appearing in your life."

If this rhetoric is placed on me, it must be fabricated, it is natural, and it is not right.But I will not say such things, at least in non-essential occasions, silence to deal with can avoid self-condemnation, to avoid the absurd anxiety.I was very glad that he gave a relatively loose statement, so I told this innocent lover: "I am also very happy to have you."

(six)
Coffee shop, tuna sandwich, hot milk and cappuccino.

"cheers." We touched the sandwich.Mine is the one with fish and salad, and he has the one with eggs. Clogging your mouth with food is one of the best ways to communicate, and everyone should not talk meaningless words.

Every time you sip the milk, smear it with your thumb before putting down the glass to remove the lipstick marks.It's just that the rubbing was too frequent, he noticed the strangeness, his eyes skipped the pink on the cup, I cast an elf glance at him, and lowered my head in embarrassment.

"Are you shy?" Maybe he didn't notice the lip marks.

"Nonsense." With an almost angry tone, I took out another bag of chocolate biscuits from my bag, tore open the package and ate it alone, without looking away.

Cyan handed the last sandwich to him, "This is yours."

"I won't eat, thank you." He just shook his head lightly.

He was puzzled and asked, "Why, you eat very little."

"I don't like egg yolks."

"Tell me sooner, and I'll leave the tuna to you."

"You're sweet, boy."

Cheers, milk to coffee.What I didn't mention is that I don't actually like tuna either. It's good mixed with salad, but it's still in the general category. I don't know if I have a slight allergy to tuna.

The boy smiled brightly.Me too, this smile lasted for many seconds, I had no choice but to turn around and stare blankly at the scenery outside the window.Silence is exhausting, and emotions are always effective only in an instant, and come back again and again.He beckoned, "What are you looking at?" I knew he was waving, and the scene in front of me was not enough to interrupt my thoughts.Why is he still looking happy? Is his time and space faster?Isn't ten seconds enough to get tired of an impromptu mood?Out of politeness, after a long pause, I said "um". Responding with modal particles does not consume energy, and can convey the meaning of noticing the other party.

(Seven)
"Will you see me off when I leave?"

"meeting."

"Why didn't I send you?"

"Let me see you off and watch you go."

"You're so sweet, my girl."

I am indeed used to watching, lovers, friends, relatives, strangers, no matter what kind of people they are, they all become pitiful and cute under the gaze of their eyes. I hope that when they turn around, every looking back will be will not fail.Especially my friends, lovers and relatives who have a good relationship belong to this category.

Separation is normal, don't be sad, I didn't say a word, I just held cyan's hand.But he thought he saw my sadness and thought it was reluctance.Just kidding, how can I be reluctant to say goodbye, everyone is going to die in the end, the seasons go by, even the maple leaves and ginkgo are withered, and the snow has not yet fallen, there will be rounds of changes in the future, and then the changes will be forgotten, or everyone will become unhappy Well, when time and space intersect, silence will one day reach the point where you can bear it, or get lost in the crowd and forget each other.Well, I admit, there is only a little bit of reluctance, are you satisfied, are you happy knowing that reluctance exists, get out if you are happy, don't wait for me to get sad.

"We were still walking at this time yesterday", he was the first to feel sad, his tone was soft and weak, like a girl.

"Ah."

"Leaving now."

"Ah."

"Will you miss me?"

"meeting."

"I knew it, I knew you always put me at ease."

I don't quite agree with his words. How can people, who do they really care about? Will they?He hugged him tightly, very excitedly and vigorously, like a child treating his beloved toy, such a close, tender, and even crudely described hug, if there is a porcelain doll's heart in his arms, he is afraid that he will be crushed. Crushed.

"Tighter," I said.

(End of this chapter)