endless roses

Chapter 130 Love of Details and Spiritual Friction

I'm often fascinated, fascinated by the smallest details.It will not be a poem, but a turning point somewhere in the poem; it will not be a passerby, but it may be the earrings or the pattern on the shirt worn by the passerby today, or a moment of frowning, depending on these details The assembled whole is beautiful, it fascinates me; it is a rose-colored world.

What I like is a certain part of these tiny places or events, and the state of mind at that time, the scenery of that day, all kinds of irrelevant emotions, situations, passers-by who passed by inexplicably, the wind that blows, the roaring car... …A whole formed together is indispensable. I am fascinated by it first, and then I see specific things. The beauty of this whole invades and penetrates into specific things, so I like cats, cats and dogs, summer evenings, and walks , I like many exquisite objects, I like a certain writer and a certain literature, so I am picky about food, but as far as I like it, I don’t eat anything else, but I don’t feel much, and I like to walk alone.I like to tell my friends to calm down, instead of saying "don't cry, you're fine", but, I hope you cry, because you haven't cried for a long time, and it will be very uncomfortable if you suppress it, just cry, I can't disturb you the process of your recovery.This is just one example, it seems a bit silly, and it has been misunderstood a lot because of it.Stupid again, no clear feedback, I didn't know that I was misunderstood, I didn't know that someone would be hurt by my "indifference"... But still, I don't want to explain, because, telling kindness from the beginning will also cause extra burden , can cause stress.When I am not sure, I will ask, for example, if I asked at the beginning, will it cause pressure to reply, these should be considered.In the past, many people around me would say: "I have thought about you a lot" and "It is reflected in...", this kind of impossible to say, at least not before being asked, it always seems to have other meanings; besides, I don't need Gratitude or something, knowing or understanding in my heart, is a comfort to me; it doesn't matter if I don't know, I will continue to care in my own way, this time, I still use the word "everything".

Regarding the "strength exhaustion" mentioned by Youyou in the morning, I call it "spiritual internal friction".There are many aspects to consider, and the consideration of other results that may be brought about by this consideration, the consumption is huge. Sometimes I feel that I don’t have the energy to think, so I just want to let go.Thinking is not a lot of effort, but it takes a lot of effort to overdo it and to stop it.I used to sleep less and feel drowsy. After a long busy day the next day, I would long to escape back to the dormitory and the familiar environment, because there are too many fascinating things outside, and they flow in by themselves. When you are very tired, but your heart is so big, you have no strength, no strength to appreciate anymore, because appreciation is necessary, then no strength hinders appreciation.Run away and go to a familiar environment, where the impact is much smaller than outside...

My concern is meaningless and cannot solve substantive problems. If it can, I will definitely do it... The so-called concern because it cannot solve the problem makes me feel a little hypocritical, and I am very hypocritical.

(End of this chapter)