endless roses

Chapter 153 Come on, the distance is also boring, okay?
Scientist said, I had a dream about you yesterday, but I was afraid to tell you.

I say, but it doesn't matter.

He paused again, and then said: "I dreamed that you looked like my girlfriend in the dream, we looked like lovers and seemed very happy; the time with you was really happy, I like that you met in the dream My love. Because of a small kiss, I was happy all afternoon. In my dream, you were so romantic. I really want to see you, and I hope you will not be angry because I said this dream. "

I said, don't get angry, you can say whatever you want, it's just a dream, it's normal.

Thinking of other things, am I a so-called "romantic" person, is it easy to encounter such things, a lot of emotions... No, I seldom have any emotions, I don't take the initiative, I don't talk much, General communication is almost like cherishing words like gold, not counting what is in the diary, not to mention who you love and who you like, how affectionate.

It's good to be liked, but as for why I like it, I'm a nihilist, neither understand nor care.

Is this attitude easy to break the heart, just a little aware of it, will it break someone's heart unconsciously in the future?
I still haven't been able to understand what it is all about, why being kissed in a dream makes me happy, maybe his language is trying to confuse him, that person just feels happy when he is cared for and happy in his dream.I'm just trying to understand myself and analyze it by the way.The second is about kissing. If it is someone I have a crush on and is already in a relationship, if anyone thinks being kissed will make them happy, just kiss it. This is just an act, meaningless and not different.Thinking of Mosel, when his girlfriend said she wanted to get married, he said yes.Suddenly, I discovered something. The reason for outsiders to enter into marriage should be that there is no reason to object. I get along well with you. Marriage is not a bad thing.

Is this very similar to the early stage of my previous relationship? It cannot be explained by only bipolar thinking, and there is no process of tossing and turning.

Go shopping in the afternoon, watch their sales or take a nap, thinking about one thing, how do these people live their day?Standing and sitting here, eating and talking later, maybe a few things are missing, is that the whole of life?

What is this all for, or, for fun, to repeat the same thing tomorrow, possible fun and mostly boredom?I am not saying that such a life is meaningless and look down on this way, but that its existence is a mystery.

After watching a movie "Why Home?", I can't understand, what is it to make a living, to make a living, to make a living, to make a living, is it a repetition of tomorrow?The protagonist says that the poor live in pain.Children bought and sold, premature deaths, vengeance, treasures hidden in carts, smuggled far away for a better life, yes, the excuse is "for life".Is it better to drink a glass of milk in a stable house and watch the peace of mind after your child gets on the school bus? I got a professional title in the university, the old man went to listen to a drama one day, and he had snacks when he was hungry. Is it the embodiment of a better life?Not negating and asking rhetorically, I am trying to understand.

I told Fang Xue today that the big ice cream made people happy, not really happy, because the seemingly small scene seemed to be happy.If, the meaning of life can be replaced by eating ice cream, I have already eaten it, shall we continue tomorrow, it seems that there is not much difference.Also, hearing such words, life doesn’t need meaning, well, then it doesn’t.

When I left the square, I suddenly heard a voice somewhere, "Poetry and the distance", come on, smiled slightly, the distance is also very boring, okay, is it a person full of hope who still thinks about the happiness that may come, the reality and the struggle, haha , where there is nothing, is there any difference?

Seeing the sanitation worker with dark skin, he lowered his head for a moment when they looked at each other, it made me feel that something was wrong.He seems to have worked very hard, and he has spent decades of life. He is holding a dead wood broom, behind him is a blue iron tricycle, wearing a straw hat, and opposite is a female college student who has just finished eating ice cream and is not worried. The livelihood is not rich, and she has sunburned a lot without sunscreen in summer, and she has gained a little weight when she came in. She is still a little nihilistic, unable to perceive everything that is happening in this world.

she is me.What is work, life, and even "living in seclusion", what to do, and how to do it, if someone tells me now that you should live a good life, and makes a list for me, it should be clearer.For example, today's list: wash up, talk to one or two people, eat a few meals, drink water when the throat is uncomfortable, listen to lectures and notes, answer questions, sit for a while, read some texts, and sleep.You tell me, this is it, then I can live a good life, these few things are not difficult, can be done, and then continue tomorrow, it may be slightly different.Even, to put it another way, I feel that all the life I can see is like doing nothing. The little lion said that I feel like I am on vacation every day, and I can also show that I am busy. It is not a performance, or a "fulfilling" way It's not difficult to get through the day like this.Ha, I must be broken.

I know that in reality, there are people worthy of respect, friends who are comfortable to get along with, things worth being happy or sad, tragedies happening that make people sympathize, indignation and filth, who can I go for a walk with, and whom I can kiss Boy that feels good, reads, cries or gets busy, I might even get married, parent, maybe be alone in middle age or not, soak in the experience.But what is all this?When I went downstairs, I saw a cat basking in the sun. It was pedaling on a bicycle. It looked very cute. It had an afternoon dream. I wished it a good dream, but I couldn’t figure out why it lived, and then I didn’t want to go. I bought milk at the convenience store, and the cold food ran from my mouth to my stomach. It was fun, and the whole process was very clear. This may be one of the reasons why I gained weight recently. Eat without thinking, but observe.

某夜
mosor.I found a very strange thing, which has nothing to do with literature.It's a presence, not something I mistakenly thought was real or something to imitate, it's who I am naturally.

I have a book in my hand, how can I explain that feeling to you.It's a thing, an object, the one in the trash, the one on the bookshelf, the dress in my closet, the morning coffee, it doesn't matter.

a certain day
Things around me are getting simpler and simpler.Maybe before graduation, everything is as simple as a suitcase.It's so simple that I'm isolated now, have a car accident, and suddenly return home. Everyone who passes by the table will be surprised. With so few, she must be an extremely indifferent person.Of course, there are still a lot of clothes in the closet. Maybe I can introduce it in my spare time. Every existence has a deep reason, some of which are even untenable, but this is a meaning at least.

The plastic storage box I bought two to three years ago, the upper and lower layers are particularly delicate, and there are connecting rings for the opening of the information, very clear white, purple, pink, and very expensive, I plan to give it together to buy headbands and Two-piece dress for guys.Put this money into the camera fund. To be honest, if I have to buy something now, I would like to buy that very expensive Leica without additional lenses. Because I am lazy, I may buy it after saving a few years, and it may be just enough. Once you get it, go on a trip and squander it, or even donate it, as long as the idea itself exists.

I don't need anything in particular, but I especially lack this sense of need.

Some time ago, I fell in love with a short jacket, a particularly beautiful skirt, and a small bag, all of which are very expensive.

The reason is that it is beautiful, and I like beautiful things.However, later I had other considerations, and realized that I seemed to be materialistic. Second, I clearly knew that with my personality, I would wear it once or twice at most. After a year, two years, or many years later, I would still wear it with a certain amount. There is no enthusiasm for the brand, and at the same time I want to buy two knitted sweaters in the [-]s and [-]s. I didn't buy it because of financial considerations, but because I don't need it for the time being.

I have a set of British afternoon tea porcelain cups in my hand, but I haven't taken good care of them. I use them to pour instant coffee and drinks.The other is a beautiful teacup, but the porcelain is opaque. It was in a supermarket event in high school, with "Nestlé's present" printed on the bottom, and there are Tang Sancai horses on the outside. There were originally two and a saucer, but now there are only two. How much do I like this cup? It is extremely cheap and has been kept for many years, but no matter whether it is another expensive one, it doesn't matter if it is accidentally broken in the next second.Alas, how should I put it, everything around me now, in the final analysis, can be left behind, throw it away and keep it, if I have such an idea, I must give it a reason, such as a hair dryer, it must be kept by my side, it is useful, Completely practical.

Naturally, there is a pair of slippers, a backpack, a medium one and a large one. The other three existing cross-body bags are doubtful, the wine red Cambridge bag; the dark blue donut bag, which is very atmospheric, and it is easy to carry when going out; Blue crossbody open bag, what are you doing with it? There are many brooches on it, but it’s useless. It takes up space in my heart and obstructs my eyes. If I lose it, I will tear a small piece of my heart together. .

Sometime
(End of this chapter)