She is cute and has a thousand layers of routines

Chapter 239 Made up my mind

Its daybreak.

Chen Jiayu struggled for a long time, and suddenly felt empty in his arms, and then suddenly woke up with a jerk, and lifted Shen Ruqian's eyelids.

Glancing at the alarm clock.

Six fifty-three.

He hadn't slept for more than two days, and these six hours or so could only be regarded as barely recovering from the state where he wished he could just fall asleep to death, but he was still terribly sleepy, and his body was still heavy, obviously not getting enough sleep.

But he was alone in bed.

Chen Jiayu sat up, put on her shoes, and opened the door to go out.

Then he looked at the back of Cai Jiayi busy in the kitchen.

"It's so fragrant, what are you doing?" He walked over, hugged her from behind, and gently rubbed her head.

"Sandwiches," Cai Jiayi is frying bacon in a pan, the long slices of meat are sizzling with oil and exuding fragrance, "I just bought the slices of bread yesterday, let's have sandwiches this morning, and two glasses of milk, how about it?" Sample?"

"Well, yes."

She looked back at him, and asked with soft eyes, "Why don't you sleep more, I was going to wake you up when I was done."

Chen Jiayu yawned, "I won't be able to sleep when I realize you're not here."

Cai Jiayi rolled her eyes and asked again: "How did you sleep last night, are you still sleepy now?"

"Well, but it's much better after sleeping, and I can hold on."

After Chen Jiayu finished speaking, she lowered her head and smelled her fragrant hair, "Can you help me?"

"No need, you go wash your face and brush your teeth, just wait and eat." Just after finishing speaking, Cai Jiayi remembered something and asked, "Have you brought your exam admission ticket and ID card?"

Chen Jiayu thought for a while, "No."

"..."

"It's okay, I'll just call and ask my mother to deliver it to the school gate."

"Well... that's fine too."

Chen Jiayu went into the bathroom, quickly wiped his face with cold water, and cheered up a little again under the stimulation of the coldness.

In the mirror, the boy's sharp eyebrows and the tip of his high nose were covered with crystal drops of water. With his lazy eyes, he looked charming.

After leaving the bathroom, he came to sit down beside Cai Jiayi, holding a sandwich in one hand, and called Ruan Xiulian with his mobile phone in the other, asking her to bring the admission ticket and ID card to the school gate for him.

After Chen Jiayu finished calling, Cai Jiayi reached out and handed him a glass of milk.

Seeing that he finished his sandwich and almost finished his milk, she asked slowly, "You said you figured out something last night, what exactly is it?"

"Hmm..." Chen Jiayu put down the cup and looked at her thoughtfully. After a while, he said, "I've been thinking about the possibility of reincarnation for a long time in the past few days."

Under Cai Jiayi's serious gaze, he took it.

"First of all, if according to what you said, you met me in the future six years later..."

"I was thinking, is the future me the same person as the present me?"

"The first possibility is that he belongs to another parallel world and is not the same person as me... Then, why didn't he experience the cycle? Is there something different about me that caused the cycle to appear?"

"But so far, I can't think of the difference between us. After all, before the third year of high school, my life has been ordinary, with no adventures, no cheats, and no difference from other people."

Chen Jiayu continued: "The second possibility is that if the Chen Jiayu you meet in the future is me... Then, how will the future me break out of the cycle? But judging from your words, the future me I don't seem to have any memory of the loop..."

"Could it be that after breaking out of the loop in some unknown way, I forgot everything about the loop?"

Chen Jiayu smiled, "Well, it's not completely impossible, so I put it in the second category."

"But in this way, the first situation can also be explained by this reason. For example, in the parallel world, I found a way to get out of the cycle, but forgot everything."

"The third possibility, which took me a long time to think of, is still the Chen Jiayu you meet in the future, and it's also me..."

Chen Jiayu's speech slowed down a little, and he organized his words carefully.

"I remember you said that I will die in the future... Then, maybe I will be reborn. Well, although rebirth sounds absurd, let's list it as a possibility."

"But in this possibility, there is another place that cannot be explained."

"If I'm born again, why don't I have any memory of the future?"

Chen Jiayu sighed: "I was going to rule out this possibility, but then I suddenly thought of a word you said - 'psychogenic amnesia'."

Cai Jiayi looked at him with slightly complicated eyes.

"So I was thinking, is it possible that after I was reborn, I forgot all the memories about the future?"

"You said that, generally speaking, psychogenic amnesia is a defense mechanism that occurs automatically in the brain after a person suffers unbearable trauma in life or emotion...forcing oneself to forget these traumas..." Chen Jiayu was silent for a while, then smiled wryly, "Well, from the story you wrote, I can roughly see that my future should not be very happy, maybe I will take the initiative to completely forget about those things... It can also be regarded as a way to escape, and it will feel more relaxed?"

Cai Jiayi lowered her eyes, and said softly "Yes."

The him she knew was indeed... not very happy.

It can even be said that it is painful.

"Before, I had a similar criminal record... After my father passed away, I was in a daze. I couldn't remember what happened in the days when he passed away. Later, under the comfort of my mother, I slowly recovered my memory. " Chen Jiayu sighed, "Thinking about it this way, the third possibility seems to be even greater."

Well, if this is the case, then how badly did the future self suffer to trigger this so-called "defense mechanism" to avoid pain again?

Thinking about it this way, it really taught him a little hard to say.

Gently stroking the cup with her slender fingers, Chen Jiayu said softly, "If this is really the case, I have another doubt—"

Cai Jiayi blinked, "What question?"

Chen Jiayu smiled: "If after I was reborn, I chose to forget in order to avoid future pain, which is a little unreasonable - since I was reborn, why should I forget, let myself change the future, so that I don't repeat the same mistakes? Isn't it better?"

"So, I thought about it for a long time, and came up with a new inference—perhaps, the memory loss happened before I was reborn."

"And when I was reborn, the lost memories didn't come back."

"This is enough to explain why I have experienced the future, but why I don't have the memory of the future..."

"And the reason why I am trapped in the cycle is because, although I have lost the memory of the future, I still instinctively have a sense of fear for the future, resisting and escaping..."

After all, 'psychogenic amnesia' is just a psychological factor that people use to escape.

That painful memory was forcibly forgotten, but it doesn't mean it really doesn't exist.

But without remembering the future, even if he is reborn, he will still fall into pain again according to the trajectory of his previous life.

Perhaps because of this, his subconscious has been resisting and avoiding this future, thus creating a cycle.

"If that's the case, maybe..." Chen Jiayu sighed slowly, "The biggest variable in the cycle is myself."

Cai Jiayi pursed her lips and said softly, "Actually, I think so too."

Chen Jiayu tilted his head slightly, showing a self-consciously ridiculous smile, "However, I still think this possibility is very slim..."

"Because of my memory loss, this world has fallen into a cycle? I'm not a superman, do I have such great power? This is too ridiculous..."

It's just... I don't even dare to write novels like this.

Cai Jiayi asked quietly, "Then, do you think the cycle is ridiculous enough?"

"..."

"If it's ridiculous enough in itself, why shouldn't its cause be ridiculous?" she continued. "Also, isn't it ridiculous that I'm from the future? Isn't it ridiculous that you might be a reborn?"

Chen Jiayu was dumbfounded.

After a while, he reached out and rubbed the center of his eyebrows.

"Yes, everything is ridiculous enough, but with so many ridiculous things together, this probability..."

"No, you're mistaken. The probability of them happening together is not chance times chance."

Cai Jiayi interrupted him.

She said in a gentle and serious voice, "Perhaps the first incident was accidental, but everything after that may just be a chain reaction caused by the first incident."

Chen Jiayu was startled: "What do you mean?"

Cai Jiayi picked up the milk and took a sip before saying, "Well, it's just my guess..."

"It's like the collapse of a strong dam, maybe it's just because of a small ant nest..."

"A hurricane in the Pacific Ocean may be caused by a butterfly flapping its wings in the rainforest..."

"And your amnesia has caused the world to fall into a cycle, why is it absolutely impossible?"

Chen Jiayu squinted her eyes and suddenly realized something.

Perhaps the operation of this world is like a supercomputer, with its own system and rules.

But having an extra self that doesn't conform to the rules makes it have a small 'bug' in its system, causing it to restart repeatedly?

"This explanation, although a bit too ridiculous, still makes sense." Chen Jiayu smiled, "So, this is the key point. Only when I stop resisting the future can I end the cycle. Will always tell me not to give up, not to escape..."

Cai Jiayi gave a soft "hmm."

Chen Jiayu looked at her, and asked with some doubts, "Before that, why didn't you just tell me everything?"

"I also thought about telling you..." Cai Jiayi raised her eyes and looked at Chen Jiayu, her fingers were lightly crossed together, her expression was a little complicated, and she said slowly, "But I am hesitant, on the one hand, I'm dubious about this possibility... On the other hand, I don't want you to know those unpleasant things unless it's absolutely necessary..."

She was reluctant to tear open his wound and let him face the pain at that time again.

There is also a little selfishness of her own...

If Chen Jiayu really regained her memory, given his personality, she might not know how to face that person... and most likely it would be something unpleasant, until the moment when she had no choice, she really couldn't make up her mind.

All in all, if there is no reincarnation, she would rather Chen Jiayu bury those memories of the future so that they will never see the light of day.

"...Moreover, if it wasn't from your heart, even if I told you everything and forcibly set things right, there would probably be no results, and maybe it would be counterproductive."

"Right."

Chen Jiayu nodded approvingly.

At that time, the bug has not been successfully fixed, but it will become more serious, and there may be something worse than the cycle.

After a while, Chen Jiayu stretched out his hand, and tightly grasped Cai Jiayi's slender wrist.

Looking at her, he said, "Now that I'm ready to stop avoiding the future, will the cycle continue?"

If it is said, it is really because he is afraid and resisting what will happen in the future, so he does not want to face it at all, which leads to the cycle.

Now he has made up his mind to accept them.

Will all this be changed?

In the early morning sunlight, Cai Jiayi looked at the boy's firm and clear eyes, and lightly bit her red lip.

She said softly: "I'm not sure, but this is already the most likely opportunity."

Hopefully, she didn't make a mistake in judgment.

Chen Jiayu pursed her lips, "Okay, don't worry about it, I'll find out tomorrow afternoon."

No matter what, he must be there this time, to bring the cycle to an end.

The two looked at each other silently for a while, Cai Jiayi put her arms around his waist, leaned over, and asked in a low voice, "Are you really prepared? Those things... are really painful. of."

"It made me choose to escape instinctively. It must be very painful." Chen Jiayu smiled, but then he sighed and said, "But I can be sure that it will not be more painful than losing you."

Cai Jiayi's eye circles suddenly turned red.

Chen Jiayu raised his hand, touched the corner of her eyes, leaned over to kiss her again, and said, "Okay, drink your milk and eat quickly, or we will be late for the exam."

"……Um."

Cai Jiayi let go of him and sat back.

He ate the rest of the sandwich first, then took the cup and gulped down the milk.

Maybe it was because she drank too quickly. When she put down the cup, there was a circle of white mustache on her lips.

Chen Jiayu couldn't help laughing.

"What are you laughing at?" She glanced at him and muttered.

"How old were you before you were reborn?"

"...27, what's the matter?" Cai Jiayi was a little puzzled by his sudden question, but she still answered.

"Hey, 27? Isn't it seven years old?"

"..."

Chen Jiayu smiled and took out a tissue to wipe her mouth.

"Okay, let's go."

(End of this chapter)