Merry Eunuch Lang

There are negligence in everything in the world, but there is only one thing that must not be negligent when doing business for the royal family, but there are also negligence.It's not that the people who do things are worthless, and it's not that those who eat official food let go of private camels.There are people who count the wrong money in the bank, people who have the wrong baby in the hospital, and people who have malfunctioned computers. These delicate workers all have mistakes. Could it be that the rough people who are pigs and sheep are not happy to be a little bit distracted?wrong wrong wrong!So what if it's wrong?

Since it is a long time ago, I can't remember which dynasty or generation, anyway, there is such a thing, it is a ridiculous thing and a rare thing, and I will tell you for fun.

The boy Pan You'an, it is unknown where he lives.His mother died at the age of five, and his father was lost at the age of eight. He was really a miserable bitter girl.After that, he spent two years fooling around with his relatives and neighbors. When he was ten years old, the royal family issued a notice to summon eunuchs.The relatives and neighbors really couldn't support it. I don't know who came up with a bad idea. It's better to send it to the royal family to serve as an official meal. A meal at Wanxijia is several times stronger.Everyone said yes, and immediately sent people to tear up the imperial list.

Xiao Pan is just a ten-year-old boy, he doesn't know what a clean body is, he just thinks it's a good job.I heard that there is food to eat, the clothes are bright, and there are many people and lively places to go.Without anyone's persuasion, I happily left with others.Riding a donkey and riding a car, bumped and bumped for several days, and arrived at a place.Xiao Pan opened his eyes and took a look: Ah!With high walls and wide doors, magnificent houses, spacious places, and many people, it is really a good place.After the accommodation was settled, they had a good meal first, and then sent someone to take a bath for them one by one.After washing, everyone changed into a new set of clothes according to their body size, tall, short, fat and thin.

The younger brothers and younger brothers who came with Xiao Pan are in different situations, some are one or two years older than him, some are one or two years younger than him, or they are the same age.Among other things, some are better off than his family, and some are more miserable than him.When they came to such a place, some were joyful and some were crying.Xiao Pan naturally belongs to the joy group. He grew up eating thousands of meals and wearing hundreds of clothes. He was lucky if he didn’t beg for food. After arriving in such a good place, some people are still not satisfied and cry. What does it look like?

The next morning, a man who was not like an aunt and an uncle was not like an uncle came. Everyone called him Eunuch Yang.Xiao Pan only knew that there were rams and ewes in their village, and this was the first time he had heard of people called Yang Gong and Niu Gong.

Eunuch Yang gave lessons to a dozen of their little ones with his drake voice, and the first day's lesson was to carry the urinal.Xiao Pan has done this job before, and he often does it for relatives and neighbors who live in him, so he is the fastest learner, for which he has been praised more than once by Eunuch Yang!There is no difference when learning to fly to the urinal in class, the only difference is the expression and posture.Eunuch Yang said, first, you can't frown, second, you can't curl your lips, and third, you can't cover your nose.These are not difficult problems, but don't treat urine as urine, treat it as a bowl of fragrant soup, and all problems will be solved.The second day is to learn to sweep the floor, the third day is to make the bed and make the quilt, the fourth day, the fifth day... I have been studying for a full fifty days.The little friends are tired of learning, and try to change some new tricks every day.

The day for a new look has finally arrived.The uncle or aunt named Yang Gonggong stood in front of them with a serious face, and he (she) said:

"Children, after today, you are real eunuchs. What is a eunuch? A eunuch is a man who has no breasts and no beard. The eunuch's task is to serve the emperor and all the people around him. Did you hear me, little bastard?" Eggs?"

The little baby didn't know what was at stake, so instead of answering "yes", they laughed childishly at Eunuch Yang's flamboyant demeanor.

Unexpectedly, Eunuch Yang, who is always kind, suddenly became furious. He (she) shouted sharply: "What are you laughing at? I am an old eunuch. I was cut off when I was your age. I have been an eunuch for 50 years. Eunuch."

Only then did everyone know that Eunuch Yang is an old man without a dick.

"It's good to be an eunuch!" Eunuch Yang said, "Food and drink are trivial things, and silk and satin are nothing. The key is that from now on you will live the lives of gods. Do you know what gods are, you little bastards?" ? Good days are waiting for you! You can taste the ups and downs in the future by yourself!"

After Eunuch Yang said it, he didn't know whether he touched a sore spot or an itchy spot, and he made a series of strange creaking and squeaking noises that didn't look like crying or laughing.

After Mr. Yang finished his training, it was time for the little dolls to play the game of cock-cutting.A bunch of bullshit kids kept pestering and asking Eunuch Yang if it hurts to cut his dick?Eunuch Yang said it didn't hurt, just a little bit of skin tearing, and it will be fine after a while.The little guys are still worried, some are worried, some are hippie smiling, some care, some don't care, some are grinning and crying, and some are smiling.When they were carried out, they all looked the same, with white cloth covering their heads, black cloth covering their faces, and a small quilt covering their bodies.If I hadn't seen occasional bulging stomachs, I would have thought they were little dead people.

When Pan Youan went in, Eunuch Yang also followed.He raised his head suddenly and saw four or five big men with knives and forks in their hands, looking at him ferociously.As soon as he was afraid, he turned around and wanted to run out, but one of the men lifted him from his neck, picked him up like an eagle catching a chick, and pushed him down on the bed.At first he danced his arms and kicked his legs, crying at the top of his voice, but after a while he was unconscious.

When Pan You'an woke up, the kind-hearted Eunuch Yang was sitting beside him.Eunuch Yang raised his face and told him solemnly:

"Kid remember, from today onwards, you can't pee standing up, let alone go peeing where there are people, otherwise your little life will be gone, and mine will have to be taken. No one can say that you have What about *, did you hear?"

Although Xiao Pan didn't quite understand what the old man meant, but seeing that he was serious and his life was at stake, although he was a little nervous, he nodded vigorously.

Eunuch Yang explained a lot of precautions, and Xiao Pan wrote down everything he could remember.As soon as the old eunuch went out, Pan You'an impatiently touched his body: it's so strange, his * is still there?