I'm really a military art school grass, don't laugh!

Chapter 328 "Today's Happiness"

After the last show "Huayin Old Tune A Roar", Shen Yi patted Alan and walked onto the stage of the Spring Festival Gala after watching the staff make an OK gesture.

At this moment, the eyes of countless viewers in front of the screen silently lit up, and there was only one thought in their minds:
"Here we come! A good show is coming!"

"Good good!!!"

"Shen Yi!!!"

The applause from the audience was warm. Even though the two people on the stage hadn't said a word, a kind of poison that seemed to make the corners of their mouths rise seemed to have spread throughout the audience.

What is a comedy star, if you can make people want to laugh when they see your face, and when they hear your name, as long as it is not a ridicule or a sneer, but a positive smile, it means that you are about to become successful.

………………

………………

"Dajian? Dajian! What are you doing? I'll step on you again!"

Alan on the stage was walking ahead, wearing a big apron and home clothes, dressed like a good family man. At this moment, he turned his head and looked at Shen Yi who was hiding behind him, and said with a speechless expression:

Shen Yi was wearing a black vest and a red sweater, exactly the same as Wang Duoyu in the movie.

"Deng Xiaoliang, your wife... isn't at home?"

Deng Xiaoliang, played by Allen, glanced out the window and said, "Go out."

As soon as Shen Yi heard it, he felt relieved and began to complain: "I told you Deng Xiaoliang, do you think you are Biao, huh? You said it's not good for you to let me play you for you, but let me play you for you Son! You are the only one who can trust your daughter-in-law if you come up with such a stupid trick? Unless she is also brave!"
Deng Xiaoliang said with an image of a big fool who is determined to win: "My wife will definitely believe it!"

"Then you and your wife... are really twins." Shen Yi said in admiration.

Deng Xiaoliang said: "I can't help it. My wife is suffering from prenatal syndrome. When she thinks about it, she always says that she is not happy. She has such a temper that she can catch fire."

Shen Yi curled his lips and said: "Will she ignite spontaneously if I don't light it?"

Deng Xiaoliang stared: "Hao Jian!"

Hao Jian, played by Shen Yi, waved his hand and said: "Hey! It's not about you! I told you, don't call me Hao Jian, you can either call me Xiao Hao, or call me Da Jian, don't Keep shouting, how cheap and cheap it sounds to reveal my character! No! I really can't help you, I'm leaving."

Hearing Shen Yi's new name in the program, the audience couldn't help but burst into laughter.

"Hao Jian..."

"This name...666!"

At this time, the performance on the stage continued.

Hao Jian walked towards the door quickly while talking, but was threatened by Deng Xiaoliang the next moment.

"Hey! Don't you go! Now that you walk out of this door, I'll call your wife right away and tell you that you run to the bathing center every day... and don't take a bath after you're done!"

"Hahahahaha!!!"

"Heh heh heh..."

Offstage, the corners of the mouths of many middle-aged people with families in front of the screen began to rise slightly, but in the next second they were controlled by me with superhuman perseverance.

But of course there are still more Cadillac owners who are single or do not have their wives around, or gay men who dream of becoming Cadillac owners.

At this time, in a sad reminder company in Kyoto that had to work overtime on New Year's Eve, a middle-aged man who was squatting in the toilet watching the Spring Festival Gala was blushing with a smile, but the young man beside him said strangely:

"It's not Brother Wang, what kind of burden is this? Why didn't I understand it??? Does this have something to do with the evening shower you and Brother Li and Brother Meng usually sneak around?"

"Hey, this thing...Xiao Sun, you have a girlfriend...don't ask."

But compared to the front of the screen, the CCTV audience still didn't dare to be so presumptuous, and stopped after laughing for a while.

"Hao Jian" immediately started to argue: "I......... I found another job of scrubbing people! If I don't scrub people, what will my wife eat!"

"Oh..."

Deng Xiaoliang covered his face with his hands and said, "Stop talking, I really can't imagine what your daughter-in-law is eating!"

"It's not Hao Jian, just help me out because our brothers are playing together until the end, please, I'm just a little bit careful..."

While talking, Deng Xiaoliang took out 500 yuan from his pocket and held it in his hand.

Hao Jian's eyes lit up slightly, but then he pretended to be disgusted and said seriously: "It's not you, what do you mean? Ah? Hurt me with 200 yuan? I owe you the money???"

"This is also my salary just paid. You are deliberately alienating the relationship between our buddies. You don't have to do things like this. There will be no next time!"

While talking, Hao Jian also took out a dozen of money from his pocket and put it on top of Deng Xiaoliang's money, and put them together in his pocket.

Deng Xiaoliang: "Huh???"

(；one_one)
"Don't let me see you again, I'll hit you every time I see you!!!"

Suddenly there was a very penetrating female voice on the stage, and anyone could tell it was Ma Li's loud voice.

Deng Xiaoliang was shocked, and quickly made a final confirmation with Hao Jian: "My wife is back! ID card?"

Hao Jian: "It's here!!!"

Deng Xiaoliang: "Proceed according to the original plan! Put it in the refrigerator!"

"Hide the refrigerator! I'll return the money to you!" Hao Jian said while running to the back room, and disappeared in a flash.

In the distance, Deng Xiaoliang's wife, played by Ma Li, walked over angrily, holding her huge belly with one hand: "Don't let me see you again! I'll call you once..."

"What's the matter, daughter-in-law? Did you quarrel with someone?" Before his wife finished speaking, Deng Xiaoliang hurriedly leaned over with a smile and whispered softly.

Deng Xiaoliang's wife: "No!"

Deng Xiaoliang was slightly taken aback, pointed to the door and said, "Ah? Then you were..."

Deng Xiaoliang's wife stared, still very puzzled and said: "Follow the dog!"

"Can you quarrel with... with a dog?" Deng Xiaoliang murmured with his mouth wide open.

Deng Xiaoliang's wife rubbed her belly and said, "Can you blame me? I was just chatting with the child. I said baby, it's been hard work for mom to be pregnant with you. Don't forget mom when you grow up. She's aiming at me... woof woof woof (forget forget forget)!
Deng Xiaoliang: "... You didn't bite it, did you?"

(；one_one)
Deng Xiaoliang's wife glared and said angrily: "It didn't bite me, can I bite him first? Then I am being unreasonable?"

Deng Xiaoliang gave a thumbs up and praised: "Great! My wife, you are a good person, and you will conquer the dog with virtue!"

"husband…………"

"You said... If one day we both leave, the child will be alone in the world!"

Ma Li's switching between thick and thin voices has always been a must. Just now she was angry, but the next moment she turned into a soft and choked cry.

With just a few words, the nervous, sensitive, depressed, and irritable feelings of pregnant women with prenatal syndrome are brought to life.

On the other side, Deng Xiaoliang was still full of stupidity, he massaged his wife's thigh attentively and said: "Don't cry, don't cry my wife, no, when we leave, take the child with us."

"Hahahahaha!!!"

"Oh, I'm going..."

"Hahaha!!!"

There was bursts of laughter in the audience, and the wife who heard her husband's brainless speech was even more furious. She pushed Deng Xiaoliang hard and said:
"It's not that you are short-sighted!!! Ah? You see people praise other people's husbands! They say that your husband is really capable, your husband is really promising, your husband is really talented, how about complimenting me? Your husband is so tall!!!"

Deng Xiaoliang did not feel ashamed but proudly puffed up his chest and said, "That's right! This 1.8-meter tall guy, if I had drank more milk, I would have gone to play in the NBA now!"

Deng Xiaoliang's wife was speechless: "You take off the apron for me, how can the elders hang around the pot all day long!"

Deng Xiaoliang took off the apron obediently, and then revealed another apron underneath, and couldn't help explaining in a low voice: "Just wear one...it's a bit short."

Deng Xiaoliang's wife felt dizzy while holding her forehead: "You...pack up your things and go back to your mother's house."

Deng Xiaoliang didn't hear the subtext of his wife saying that he was not a man at all, but touched the back of his head in confusion, still full of stupidity.

"jingling jingling jingling..."

Just then the phone rang, interrupting their quarrel.

"Hey, he's looking for me. Hey who!" Deng Xiaoliang hastily stepped forward to answer the phone and at the same time pressed a speakerphone, and then Shen Yi's voice deliberately pretending to be tender came from the other side:

"Hello? Is that Dad?"

Deng Xiaoliang glanced back at his wife and said with a hey smile, "Who is speaking so politely?"

Ma Li didn't speak at this moment, but her expression was also very puzzled.

Hao Jian: "I am your future child, I want to travel through time and space from 2042 to visit you two elders!"

Deng Xiaoliang's wife picked up the phone receiver speechlessly and complained, "Liar!"

"This liar... If you cheat like this, you can starve yourself to death." Deng Xiaoliang echoed from the side.

However, in the next second, with a "bang", a big head popped out of the TV screen on the TV cabinet on the stage, looked at the two with a smile and said loudly:

"Dad! Mom!"

In an instant, the audience was shocked.

Immediately, Deng Xiaoliang knelt down towards Hao Jian and begged, "You are too polite! Ancestor! Except for my wife, you can take away anything valuable from this family! Just please don't hurt us!"

Deng Xiaoliang's wife covered her mouth and whispered, "Especially the TV... I won't dare to watch it until you take it away!"

Hao Jian didn't care what the reaction of the two of them was. He walked out of the TV screen and looked left and right, and said, "Oh my God! Is this my home 30 years ago? It's so warm!"

In the next second, Ma Li couldn't bear it and fainted on the sofa...

"Ah! Wife! Wife!" Deng Xiaoliang hurried over to support Ma Li, and turned around to question Hao Jian angrily: "Why didn't you come as planned? Didn't I tell you to hide it in the refrigerator!"

"Then hide the refrigerator, am I afraid of catching a cold?" Hao Jian also said helplessly

Deng Xiaoliang said anxiously: "Then you can't come out from the TV, you see you scared my wife." "

"Wouldn't it be more time-traveling to wear it from the TV?" Hao Jian explained.

Deng Xiaoliang was speechless: "I still have a sense of time travel...... You put this on to pretend to be a fourth elder brother???" ψ(｀)ψ
Hao Jian: "That Huang Ama is cold even in the refrigerator!" (▼皮▼#)
"Pfft ha ha ha ha ha!!!"

"Oh my mother!!!"

"Fuck..."

"Huang Ama is cold even in the refrigerator...how the hell did I remember this!"

"Oh no, my stomach hurts from laughing!!!"

At this time, in a family in Kyoto, Yang Mi couldn't help laughing while watching TV and rubbing her forehead.

No matter what she said, she never thought that she would suddenly cue to her while watching Shen Yi's sketch.

But I have to say that when talking about this domestic time-travel drama, I really can't avoid her "Gong Suo Xin Yu".

But this one is used as a burden...... Inexplicably shameful ah ah ah ah ah! ! !

Regardless of whether it is in front of the stage or behind the stage, how many years of audiences have watched the Spring Festival Gala for so many years.

If it wasn't for Shen Yi who came out, he would still be able to see the scene of time travel on the stage.

Following the fuss of the two live treasures, the whole audience exploded in direct amusement, and the audience in the audience were so happy that they all leaned forward and back together and couldn't sit still.

………………

………………

Deng Xiaoliang looked at Hao Jian speechlessly and asked, "Then what happened to my TV?"

Hao Jian hurriedly explained: "It's fake, I'll change it for you when I check in in the morning."

"Husband!" Ma Li's voice sounded weakly next to her.

Deng Xiaoliang: "wife"

Hao Jian watched Deng Xiaoliang go to help his wife, and then he knelt in front of Ma Li and pretended to be tender: "Mom! Don't be afraid! I am the child in your belly."

Deng Xiaoliang trembled all over, then knelt in front of Hao Jian and said weakly: "I believe it! Or...you should put it back on first."

Hao Jian lay down in front of Deng Xiaoliang's wife with a shy face and said in a childlike voice, "Don't, mom! I managed to get through it."

After hearing what Hao Jian said, Ma Li almost fainted again, but fortunately she was supported by Deng Xiaoliang this time.

"Mother!!!"

Hao Jian turned his head to the auditorium, and said loudly with a broadcasting accent: "For 30 years, I have been looking for the starting point of life. The purpose of my trip is to see what a great woman, who can conceive me."

The wife of Deng Xiaoliang, played by Ma Li, looked at Deng Xiaoliang angrily and then said weakly: "Unexpected birth..."

Deng Xiaoliang: "Cough..."

"Hey, that, you said you are my son, what's your name?

Hao Jian said: "Dad, get up now, and I will call you whatever you get up.

Deng Xiaoliang: "Then... the eyeballs!"

Hao Jian said speechlessly: "Dad! Think twice, every hasty decision you make is related to my future...Give me a personal name!"

Deng Xiaoliang said firmly: "Just the eyeballs!"

After Hao Jian finished speaking, he took out his ID card and gave it to Ma Li: "Mom, I have an ID card!"

The wife of Deng Xiaoliang, played by Ma Li, looked at the ID card, her eyes widened, and she read every word seriously, "Deng... Eyeballs!!!"

"He...he is my son! He didn't run away! Deng Xiaoliang opened his mouth wide in surprise, and pretended to inadvertently pat his wife's stomach with his hand in shock.

Hao Jian immediately pretended to be in pain and covered his stomach with his hands.

When Deng Xiaoliang's wife discovered this problem, she hurriedly patted her stomach again...

"Ah! Mom! Don't fight, our mothers are really..."

Hao Jian pretended to be in pain and turned his head away, quickly drew a line on the left corner of his mouth with ketchup, and then turned around and said in pain: "Flesh and blood are connected!!!"

"Hahahahaha!!!"

"I'm going to... know how to play!"

(End of this chapter)