death of hope

Chapter 189 "Corporate Warrior" (105) Reasons for Fighting
"

A baby's cry is one of the most annoying noises, regardless of race,

Especially in the closed environment of the fortress, the lingering sound is even more disturbing.

I ordered the old man to shut up the baby, but in vain, the old man just handed the baby to a wife, and after coaxing him for a long time, he continued to cry.

The company commander, Brother Johnny, urged us to complete the security checks as soon as possible and get the survivors out.

I told the veiled women through the translation robot that I hope they will cooperate and unfasten their loose robes to make sure that there are no dangerous objects on them.

The six Tadarin women looked extremely irritable, and the oldest old woman spat at me after lifting her mask, and the old man remained silent with a livid face.

At this time, Brother Oleg said: "These alien old women think that we are greedy for their bodies, what's so good about their skinny bodies, and they are quite sentimental..."

The situation at that time was disastrous. In the hot and humid underground warehouse, the complaints of the old man, the nagging of the old woman, and the crying of the baby were mixed together, challenging the patience of each of us.

Brother Johnny ordered us to forcibly take off the Tadarim woman's robe, and take him away after checking.

Unfortunately, this sentence was also converted into the Tadarim language by the translation robot. The other party was immediately blown away when they heard it. The Tadarim woman pushed us excitedly, the baby cried louder, and the old man was also talking endlessly. It's hard to babble.

At that time... I really... felt like my head was going to explode, as if there were tens of thousands of ants crawling in my head.

Then, brother Johnny seemed to notice something was wrong, and we saw him draw his automatic pistol, put it on the old man's forehead, and yelled for him to unbutton his robe.

The other party still didn't cooperate, so Johnny tore it with his hands, unexpectedly, the thin fabric was quite tough, he tore it hard a few times but only broke a few buttons, and he didn't pull it.

Old Man Tadarin was getting more and more agitated, and I noticed he put a hand in his pocket.

Johnny saw it too and yelled for us to shoot and kill them all.

I was stunned, this was the first time I questioned the command of the chief, and I was even a little angry, how could I kill unarmed old and young women and children!
And then... I heard the gunfire, saw the flames sprayed from the muzzle,

Oleg was the first to fire, and the veterans did not hesitate to carry out the order of the company commander, and the corpses fell in disorder in an instant.

Unfortunately, the Tadarin woman in front of me was the one holding the baby, and because of my special position and my huge body, it was difficult for my teammates to shoot at her over me.

Johnny yelled my name angrily, I put my finger on the trigger, looking at the veiled woman and the baby in her arms, I couldn't help it.

Unexpectedly, just a second of hesitation turned into a big mistake,

The woman exploded, and it turned out that there was really explosives hidden under the large robe,

Fragments of broken bricks flew everywhere, and the smoke and dust rising up blocked the line of sight, making it impossible to see anything clearly.

Wearing heavy armor, I was overturned by the shock wave. Fortunately, the inner armor has the function of absorbing the shock, otherwise I would have died suddenly on the spot.

When the dust slowly fell, I got up and found that the Tadarin woman and child had disappeared, and there were broken clothes, bone fragments, blood, and minced meat all around me...

I found myself with a nosebleed and my brain buzzing from the shockwave, and my teammates were fine because of the armor and the distance.

Then I saw Miss Ruth Kyle, a field medic lying on the ground, wearing no armor but a white cotton uniform.

Her nose, mouth, ears, and even her eyes were bleeding, and sharp gravel splashed into her body, and the white medical uniform was being soaked in blood.

The deadliest thing was the internal injury caused by the explosion shock wave. Her internal organs had been shattered, so her mouth and nose were bleeding.

Frantically, I crawled over to press her chest, dropped the helmet and gave artificial respiration, opened the medical kit and used the defibrillator, but all efforts were in vain.

Half a minute later, the medical soldier Miss Ruth Kyle died, her big green eyes were wide open, and the pupils had already dilated.

I lay down next to the corpse, wrapped in a huge sense of guilt, at a loss for what to do, and even had the idea of ​​shooting myself.

Oleg came over to ask about my injury, and then Johnny pushed him away, grabbed my neck brace with both hands, and pulled me up from the ground. I didn't expect him to be so strong.

Johnny pointed a loaded automatic pistol at my forehead, spitting and cursing:

'She's dead!Just because of your hesitation!she died!Why refuse to carry out my order!Corporal Lynch! '

My mind went blank and I couldn't say anything,
Mie stared blankly at Johnny's big grinning mouth, those teeth yellowed by cigars, and those spit stars spraying towards me.

'Look at her!Look at Miss Ruth Kyle!This is all your fault!

She is only 20 years old!Just graduated from military medical school!In the morning, he also said that he would buy a motorcycle with military pay when he went home!But now, she was lying here like a puddle of mud, covered in blood!

This is all your fault!Corporal Lynch!I shouldn't trust a new recruit!I really want to shoot you right now!You coward!
You are fired!Get out of my company! '

Brother Johnny ripped off my rank and armband, and he himself made me a corporal not so long ago.

"

Clutching an empty wine glass in his hand, Lynch spoke vividly,

The room was exceptionally quiet, even Shaft, who was the loudest on weekdays, quieted down, Sigurdriefa was short of breath, as if he had personally experienced this thrilling past.

She thought: (It turns out...that's what happened to pages 436 and 437 that were torn out, and he didn't even want to recall them.)
The witness Johnny Blazer kept nodding his head, gesturing for him to continue.

"I'm thirsty."

Lynch unscrewed a bottle of carbonated drink, took a sip, and continued:
"

After that incident happened, I didn't slow down for several days. In addition to the overwhelming sense of guilt, I was also full of questions.

I thought, what if I had shot myself then?
What will happen?

Miss Ruth Kyle will not die.

But what about me?
Will I get a good night's sleep after shooting women and babies?

I was tormented by endless questions about whether or not I should continue my military career.

I have to admit that during those days, I was so depressed that I almost suffered from depression.

Two days later, Brother Johnny gradually lost his temper. He asked me to talk to me alone, and said sorry to me. He said, Lynch, I shouldn't yell at you, let alone point a loaded pistol at you.
What if it goes off, the Federation will lose the most potential fighter, and I will lose a life and death brother, who returned the rank of corporal to me.

After the war ended, I went home to recover from my injuries for half a year. I was plagued by insomnia and depression.
The more I think about it, the more I can't sleep.

What the hell did we do?
In the eyes of alien races, the turbulent human federation is definitely an extremely terrifying existence.

If we take a fancy to a planet suitable for survival or rich in resources,

The human colonists will mercilessly clean up all the low-level alien creatures on that planet.

In a sense,
In their eyes, humans
And those undead pirates with red eyes, the swarm creature ships that devour everything, and the surging green orc waves,
There is no essential difference.

Our Terra Federation regards itself as a state of civilization and etiquette,
With art, culture, and thought, it is one of the largest permanent members of the Galaxy Star Alliance.

But... do those races we call barbarians... really deserve to be destroyed?

During those months, my appetite decreased, I lost a lot of weight, and my health problems were getting worse from lack of sleep.

My mother and sister were terrified, afraid that I would suffer from battlefield PTSD syndrome like those veterans.

Somehow, my sister got the contact information of the company commander and asked him for help.

A few days later, brother Johnny came to visit my house, and I will never forget what he said at that time;

'

think?
You don't need to think, that's the job of the old pedants.

Remember, you are a soldier of the Spartan Company, the best of the best, the Spear of Man.

Your calling is to kill,
Don't ask why the order is, just execute it.

Don't think too much, just swing the knife round, cut down indiscriminately, and kill people in battle, this is the sacred duty of marines.

(Note 1)

you,
Marcus Lynch,
Although he is very talented, he is a one-in-a-million strong man, but he is only a screw in the war machine of the Human Federation.

Don't think too much, keep your mouth shut, and fight until you win or die.

Think about it, if every soldier had to talk to the commander or a psychiatrist before the battle,
Saying that I have to pray, to find a reason to fight,
fuck it!In that case, human beings would have been destroyed hundreds or thousands of times long ago!
Remember, our current status as human beings was not negotiated,
The countries of the Star Alliance only value strength. If we don’t expand others, we will expand. If you don’t kill him, he will kill you!
Only by relying on iron and blood can one survive in the dark and cruel universe.

This war may not be just, but it is necessary,

We are human beings, we can betray anyone but ourselves. '

·
After this long conversation, the doubts entrenched in my mind disappeared in an instant.

I finally found a reason to shoot,

I'm human, that's enough reason.

In my subsequent military career, I never hesitated again. I became a decisive veteran who shed blood and sweat for the benefit of mankind.

Participating in one difficult battle after another, there is no trace of youthfulness and hesitation.

"

·
(Note 1): Here is a reference to the plot in the Nobel Prize-winning work "The Quiet River Don" created by the former Soviet writer Mikhail Aleksandovich Sholokhov.

(End of this chapter)