Haidonghang

Chapter 34 Lee's North Korea ([-])
hello, boys.We meet again.I'm your boyfriend, ah, bah, it's my old friend Li Fangyuan.

The baby is exhausted, yesterday was forced by that guy Yue Shimeng to rehearse the script he just wrote.

He said it was all because you didn't give him a reward or vote for him, and he was almost starving to death.

He said that if he continues to be hungry, he will become thin like a pig.

Hey, it's pitiful to think about it, so I agreed to him.But I don’t know what bullshit he wrote, it wasted half a day of my time, come on, let me show you the script he wrote:
Interview
Screenwriter: Yueshimeng
Actor: Yue Shi Meng as the interviewer (Fang Wen)

Li Fangyuan as Director (A Zong)
an extra

props:
two mobile phones,

a table,
two chairs,

Two glasses [full of water].

straw
briefcase,
CV,
tape measure.

The curtain rises.

The phone rang, and Fang Wen walked towards the center of the stage while answering the phone. (with apologetic face)

Fang Wen: Mr. Han, hello. ... No, no, no... I had a good time at the company, and my resignation was entirely due to my personal reasons... I'm sorry, it's not convenient for me to say this, I'm sorry, I will come to you in person to apologize... Okay, okay... Goodbye Mr. Han.

Fang Wen hung up the phone, raised his head, and took a deep breath. (deep expression)

At this time, the assistant called number three.

Fang Wen pushed the door and went in, the director raised his head and forgot to take a look at Fang Wen.

A Zong: The cleaning applicant is in the next room. (disdain)

Fang Wen: (turns head to the audience) How embarrassing, (then turns head to A Zong) I'm sorry, I'm here to apply for an actor.

A Zong: I'm sorry, (A Zong gestures to Fang Wen) I just look at your image... (Looking at the registration form on the desktop) Abbot, right? (Pointing to the chair) Please sit down!

Fang Wen: I'm sorry, director, my old monk's name is Fang Wen. (right hand on chest)

A Zong: (turning his head to the audience) I'm so embarrassed too. (Turning his head) I'm really not conscious, the assistant's handwriting is a bit scribbled, please sit down. (embarrassed)

Fang Wen did it.A Zong pushed a glass of water in front of Fang Wen, and Fang Wen thanked him repeatedly.

A Zong: Have you brought your resume?

Fang Wen: I brought it.

Fang Wen handed his resume to A Zong.

While looking at his resume, A Zong said, please give a brief self-introduction first.

Fang Wen: OK.My name is Fang Wen, Fang is Fang Wen's text, and Wen is Fang Wen's Fang.

Fang Wen suddenly covered his mouth, and apologized to A Zong, "I'm not conscious, director, I made a slip of the tongue."

A Zong: Oh, it's okay.continue. (coldly)
Fang Wen: I am 28 years old and come from the Songhua River.I have been very interested in acting since I was a child, and I hope the director can give me a chance.

A Zong: Do you have a girlfriend?
Fang Wen: Does this have anything to do with applying for a job? (look puzzled)
A Zong: It has a lot to do with it.Those who have girlfriends are more experienced in playing rival roles between men and women.If not, I will arrange some other scenes for him at first.

Fang Wen: Oh, that's right, then I'm married.

A Zong stood up in surprise, and looked around Fang Wen, you didn't lie to me? (look suspicious)
方文：是啊，去年8月8号8点8分8秒结的啊。

A Zong faced the audience, (pointing to Fang Wen) How is it possible that someone with such good looks actually has a girlfriend and is married?
And I am a handsome, romantic, cute, cute new generation of powerful directors, and I am still a bachelor.

Heaven, earth. (Kneeling down, raising both hands to the sky) At this time, Fei Yuqing's "One Cut Plum" sounded on the field.

A Zong stood up again, and looked at Fang Wen again.It seems that you are quite rich.

Fang Wen: Why did the director say that?

A Zong: Otherwise you will have a wife?Tell me, how much is your monthly salary.

Fang Wen: Less than [-].

A Zong: Is it interesting to fix this with me?who I am?I'm the director?I have watched more episodes than you have eaten KFC. (disdainful face)
Fang Wen: Director, I don't eat KFC, I only eat McDonald's.Because the name of the KFC dish is so cruel, there is such a thing as rape chicken popcorn. (look innocent)
A Zong: (pointing to Fang Wen) You...you can just say it straight, your salary is more than three thousand a month.

Fang Wen: More than that, my salary was [-] last month.

A Zong: What did you do before.

Fang Wen: I was in charge of the entry and exit of personnel in a foreign company.

A Zong: Oh, the door watcher, no, is there such a high salary for the door watcher?
Fang Wen: Director, I am not looking after the door, I am HR.

A Zong: Are you HR?Then how did you come up with the idea of ​​applying for an actor?
Fang Wen: Because I love him deeply.And I'm a natural actor.

A Zong: How do you say that?
Fang Wen: Director, I've been here for so long, but you haven't noticed how round my eyes are.

A Zong: Then I really can't see it.

Fang Wen: This is not the point, the point is that they all say that I look like a star.

A Zong: Just you?Wait, (after looking around Fang Wen) Take a serious look, you really look a bit like Dehua... the Zhu Bajie played.

Fang Wen: Director, you are the first one to praise that I look like Zhu Bajie.Others don't say that about me.

Fang Wen: No, how did you hear that I was praising you?Come on, you better tell me what other people say about you first.

Fang Wen: They all said that my hairstyle is Guo Degang, my height is Pan Changjiang, my mother strength is better than Wensong, and my complexion is better than Xiaobao.

A Zong: Wait, I can understand everything else, your hairstyle?

Fang Wen: Didn't I meet Guo Degang on the way here?He wouldn't let me wear his hairstyle and said I was violating his hair rights.

Fang Wen: He said that if I don't change my hairstyle, he will make me unable to survive in the entertainment industry.I had no choice but to cut my head bald before going on stage.

A Zong: All right.Have you ever photographed anything before?

Fang Wen: Shoot? ... (Contemplating for a while) I used to take X-rays, and I took pictures of leaders... By the way, I also took pictures of cucumbers.

A Zong: (with a speechless face) I was asking, have you acted in anything before?

Fang Wen: I have played the role of a strict wife, a doormat, and an idiot.

A Zong: Is there anything else?

Fang Wen: There are also pigs, monkeys, and donkeys.

A Zong: You also acted in these, where did you act?

Fang Wen: At home, my wife forced me to act.

A Zong: You...forget it.Do you have any specialty?

Fang Wen took out the measuring tape and measured his arms and lower body.Then he said helplessly to A Zong: Director, I don't have any special skills, can I be rough?
A Zong: Extra rough?What is extra thick? (look puzzled)
Fang Wen: My waist, my waist is very thick.In fact, what I am overflowing with is not only my talent, but also the fat on my waist.Others call me the second generation of belly.

A Zong: (pointing to Fang Wen) Get out for me. (angry)

Fang Wen: Come on, director, give me another chance.

A Zong: Go out... (emphasized tone) Seeing that Fang Wen didn't respond, A Zong said, if you can't get out, if you don't go out, I'll go out, and he will go out the door.

(End of this chapter)