Embers of Embers

Chapter 637 Life
What is the so-called life?
Zuo Zhen's words stopped Lorenzo. The cunning Lorenzo had already thought of many countermeasures, but no matter what, he never expected that Zuo Zhen would ask him such a question.
A question that sounds ridiculous, naive, and least applicable to people like them.
"are you joking?"
Lorenzo couldn't figure it out. He looked at Zuo Zhen and felt that all the weird feelings this old man gave him might be just illusions. In fact, he was just a dull guy, and all these might be his delusions.
"No, I'm not joking," Zuo Zhen replied seriously, "Do you think it's not my place to ask this kind of question?"
"Yeah, look at you, look at me, we have countless human lives on our hands, life, for us... it's like work."
Lorenzo couldn't help but talk bad things.
"We're like lumberjacks. Do any lumberjacks care what happens to big trees?"
Zuo Zhen listened carefully to Lorenzo's bad words, and a look of realization appeared on his face, as if he was saying, "So you are this kind of person."
"Maybe this is the difference brought about by culture."
This time Zuo Zhen did not have an aggressive attitude, but slowed down his speech and spoke calmly.
“In our Jiuxia, lumberjacks pay more attention to the relationship between people and trees.”
The expression on Lorenzo's face became more and more weird. The suppressed chill just now was completely gone. Maybe the so-called cultural differences really existed. This old guy didn't hear the "bad words" in his words at all, but explained it to himself seriously. stand up.
In this way, we can understand the difference in his attitude. Before, he was ready to shoot himself, but now he is answering questions and clearing up doubts. In total, in Zuo Zhen's perception, he is a completely ignorant person. Guy.
Zuo Zhen has due tolerance for ignorant people.
Lorenzo's expression became more and more complicated.
"Excessive tree loss by loggers will destroy the forest and desolate the lush fertile land, so it needs to be controlled so that all this can continue for a long time," Zuo Zhen explained earnestly, "It's like us, we use It's atrocities, but it's to protect more people."
"Are you listening, Holmes?"
Zuo Zhen was halfway through talking when he realized that Lorenzo was already in a state of wandering mind.
"So?" Lorenzo asked.
"So?" Zuo Zhen asked again as if Lorenzo laughed angrily.
"They say you're the expert."
Lorenzo remained silent and did not deny.
"As an expert, you don't even know what you are taking away, right?" Zuo Zhen said, "This is not what an expert should do."
Zuo Zhen took a deep breath, his eyes blurred, and he fell into the deep darkness.
"We are executioners, killing many lives, some are human, some are not even human, and some we don't know what they are... So I always think that the person who understands the essence of life best should be the god of death, just Like the lumberjack who knows trees best, those of us who are closest to death should be the ones who can understand life better.
That’s why we should be in awe. "
Zuo Zhen paused for a moment, Lorenzo didn't look at him, as if avoiding his gaze, and stared blankly ahead.
"You should know this kind of thing, so let's go back to the original question.
What is life to you, Lorenzo Holmes? "
Looking at Lorenzo who remained silent, Zuo Zhen recalled, and then continued.
"I have asked this question to everyone anonymously. From their answers to this question, I can tell whether he is a qualified lumberjack, executioner, or death."
Slowly raising his hand, Zuo Zhen looked at his old and decayed palm, which was covered with wrinkles as dry as tree bark.
"I still remember the first time I killed someone, Holmes. At that time, I was still a new soldier fighting demons in a remote village. Before I could fire, I was attacked by the demons and fell into a coma due to erosion. And when I woke up, the battle had been over for a long time. It seemed that I was the only lucky person who escaped the deadly battle due to fainting and survived. I searched for a long time, and then found another survivor in another pile of corpses.
Then……"
Zuo Zhen's words paused, his face showed confusion, and after a while, he continued.
"I took care of him for many days. I tried my best, but I still couldn't let him survive. In the end, he couldn't speak. His wounds were festering. It seemed like there were bugs inside, white and mixed with flesh and blood. together.
He grabbed my hand, and this was the last of his strength. He couldn't say anything, he just looked at me, and I looked at him. I seemed to understand what he meant for a moment. "
Zuo Zhen raised his hand and then lowered it.
"I moved a big rock and smashed it down hard without making a sound."
The story was over, Zuo Zhen looked away, and then he noticed that Lorenzo had looked at him at some point, and there was a dim light floating in the darkness, allowing Zuo Zhen to see where his eyes were.
"So what is life to you? Zuo Zhen."
Facing Lorenzo's question, Zuo Zhen smiled and said calmly.
"It's nothing, life is meaningless."
This answer surprised Lorenzo, and then Zuo Zhen continued.
"The moment I smashed him to death, I suddenly felt confused. In order to prevent him from dying, I endured the sadness and fear and tried my best to do everything I could, but in the end I still couldn't save him... But think about it, everyone will eventually usher in the time of death, it's just a matter of time, he would have died, but the time of death was much earlier.
The same is true for all human beings. Even if there are no monsters, there will be war, disease, hunger and other factors that will lead us to destruction. Therefore, our fight with monsters is meaningless. The final outcome is the same anyway. "
Zuo Zhen murmured.
"When I learned about the unspeakable, I felt that it would be good to end with the sublimation of all mankind."
"Everyone will die. In the long history, everyone will be meaningless, just like a grain of dust, returning to the shadows and no one knows."
Zuo Zhen's words made Lorenzo's heart tremble for a while. Looking at this anonymous person who was deep in thought, Lorenzo realized at this time that Zuo Zhen's thoughts are dark. It can be said that from the perspective of thought, Zuo Zhen is the closest of the indescribable.
"In your terms, am I considered nihilism?"
Zuo Zhen smiled again, but Lorenzo knew that for him, this smile was meaningless.
"Then why don't you commit suicide? With that gun of yours, you will die happily."
Lorenzo said, the muscles of his body tensed slightly, and his mind became fully vigilant. No one could have imagined that Zuo Zhen was thinking like this. It can be said that he is simply the biggest mole among the unknown.
Zuo Zhen didn't answer this question, but talked about other people. He didn't care about Lorenzo's thoughts at all. Maybe Lorenzo would kill him now, and he wouldn't say anything more.
"Zuo Tang, this kid is a bit stubborn. He probably admires me very much and always wants to follow my path. When I asked him this question, his answer was quite boring, but Shao Liangye's was a bit interesting.
Shao Liangye was often taken out hunting when he was a child. After he shot a deer, his father asked him to pick up a dagger and give the deer the final blow. "
Zuo Zhen became more and more fascinated as he talked. For an old man like him, apart from memories, it seems that the rest of his life is all about running towards death.
"His hands were very clumsy, but he couldn't stab him to death with several stabs. The deer struggled even harder, and Shao Liangye stabbed it while crying. He was so embarrassed, and then he sat there stupidly holding the stabbed body. His father said that it was because Shao Liangye was stupid that the deer suffered such pain before he died.
Shao Liangye told me these things without any embarrassment or shame. He was very calm and just told these things.
He said that he brought the deer back, and then his father prepared the deer meat for Shao Liangye to eat. He resisted, but his father said that this is how they survived, eating other lives and extending their own lives. Instead of mourning a tragic death, it is better to gather strength and revere the remains of life.
Shao Liangye seemed to understand something, but it seemed that he didn't understand anything. He said that it was the most full meal he had ever eaten. He ate all the meat and almost burst his belly. "
Zuo Zhen's expression was calm. It was as if he was telling a bedtime story. Unfortunately, neither the storyteller nor the listener was a good person. There was no sense of warmth at all, only the warmth hidden under the calmness. Ice cold.
"Shao Liangye feels that life is like this. The newcomers move forward on the corpses of the old dead, circulating and passing on, never ending, like an ever-extending line, using all its strength to stretch to the unknown future..."
"Then there's the Saira River."
Mentioning this girl, Zuo Zhen paused in his words and couldn't help but smile. He rubbed his eyes and then said.
"Saragei's answer is also very interesting. She said that life is about eating good food, drinking good food, and preferably sleeping comfortably. Life is about sitting at the training ground next to home and watching among the red leaves. Looking at the sparkling golden lake..."
"Sounds pretty childish," Lorenzo said.
"Yes, but I like this childishness. There is no big reason, just simple feelings."
Mayor Zuo took a breath and turned to speak.
"So back to the question you asked, why don't I commit suicide? This is a somewhat complicated question..."
Lorenzo was waiting for Zuo Zhen to think. The two were quiet in the dark. This was a very interesting conversation. The outcome of the conversation would determine whether the relationship between the two was full trust or continued intrigue.
He was a little confused, and had difficulty understanding Zuo Zhen's thinking, what nothingness, what life, Lorenzo couldn't understand these. Many times, he tried his best not to let himself think about those complicated things, and just let his mind change. Got to be slow.
Lorenzo Holmes is a sharp sword, he only needs to kill the enemy's target. With this idea, Lorenzo can avoid a lot of meaningless troubles.
"After asking these anonymous questions, I realized that it was just me who thought it was all in vain. They were still full of hope for the world. I couldn't be so selfish and impose my ideas on them and tell them about the world. Too bad, it would be better to die early and be born early.
They still look forward to the good, but the road to the good is full of thorns, and someone needs to open the way for them. "
Zuo Zhen raised his hands to show himself.
"I'm a good leader, I'm not afraid of death, I'm not afraid.
There is nothingness in my heart, but I also carry their expectations, so I am driven by them. My world is already gray, but I am willing to keep moving forward for their ideal world. Is this a valid reason? "
"So the real Zuo Zhen is dead?" Lorenzo asked after listening to his answer.
Zuo Zhen nodded, he confirmed.
"Many years ago, when he dropped the boulder, he was killed along with him. The 'Zuo Zhen' you see now is just a skin. What's interesting is that the empty body was filled with He has different expectations, so you can still see him in action instead of waiting to die."
Lorenzo looked deeply at Zuo Zhen, trying to find some answer in his eyes, but what greeted him was only a void, a void of nothingness.
“You’re not doing it for yourself, you’re doing it for other people.”
"Yes, just like antimemes and carriers, Zuo Zhen is also a carrier, carrying their expectations," Zuo Zhen sighed, "You know, being completely trusted by others is a great honor. So even if it is for them, I am willing to work a little longer, anyway, the end is death, isn't it?"
"Then it's your turn, Holmes, are you still interested in talking now?"
Zuo Zhen leaned down slightly, keeping his eyes at the same level as Lorenzo's pupils.
"I'm really curious."
"Curious what?"
"You are a rare devil. In this world, you are like a rare animal. I think everyone will be curious about your inner world."
Lorenzo did not respond. He felt that the current situation was more like a transaction than the "complete trust" Zuo Zhen said.
Zuo Zhen uses his story to try to trade Lorenzo's story.
"I……"
Lorenzo seemed to be moved by his words. He opened his mouth, but for a moment he didn't know where to start and could only speak dryly.
"I don't know, I don't know what life is? This thing is too philosophical, do you think I am someone who understands this?"
Lorenzo started talking endlessly again. He was suddenly afraid of the hellish atmosphere. He just wanted to break this bad atmosphere quickly, but his wandering eyes met Zuo Zhen's eyes. He kept looking at him. , nowhere to escape.
"It doesn't matter. Just say whatever comes to mind and continue."
Zuo Zhen showed a frightening smile...Lorenzo thought this was a sign of goodwill from him, but after hearing his story, Lorenzo could no longer look directly at Zuo Zhen's smile.
"So... where do we start?"
Lorenzo was thinking, looking at the dim ceiling, and gradually, a golden light shone down, falling into a beautiful afternoon.
(End of this chapter)