Embers of Embers

Chapter 638
"I still remember it was a sunny afternoon..."
Lorenzo's voice was soft, and the memory became slightly unfamiliar, as if he was browsing another person's memory.
"Actually, I can't remember it clearly. My memory was messed up for a while, and it was very messy. It's like your life is a jigsaw puzzle, and someone put it together in a mess, completely losing its original appearance.
But I still remember a scene in my memory, it was a sunny afternoon.
I was not a witcher at that time, just an ordinary...priest?I remember that I was probably a pastor. During that time, I was at my most leisurely time in the evangelical church. There was no physical training or sword fighting. I only read scriptures, studied theology, and briefly became a pastor.
I remember it was a day off and it was midsummer in Feilengcui. My friends and I stayed in the room, lazily leaning aside and letting the light shine..."
Lorenzo was in a trance as he spoke, looking at nothingness, as if he could go back to that moment again through the obstacles of years.
"A blinding sun.
I don’t know why, but this scene is always very profound. Even now, I can still easily recall the stale smell in the room and the trivial sound of reading. "
"So, for 'life', is this scene your first reaction?" Zuo Zhen asked.
Lorenzo nodded vaguely, then shook his head.
"I've said it all, I don't know, I don't understand this, but if I have to talk about it, there are many scenes, just like a stage play, one after another."
"Someone told me that you have to go to Old Dunling and start a new life. I didn't know what to do at first. So I tried many things, such as renting a house, cooking, working, socializing..."
Unknowingly, Lorenzo did not notice that his words had deviated from the question and kept talking to himself.
"I made some new friends, a landlord who treated me well, and a nice roommate. I remember staying in my room at that time, with the gloomy old Dunling outside the window, and the vendors shouting on the street. My roommate's snoring could be heard, there was a clanking sound downstairs, and the smell of delicious food filled the air.
I felt at the time that all this was so strange, as if I had never experienced anything like this before, but I was very happy... maybe this was a new life. "
Lorenzo soothed his body and fell into the soft hospital bed. He was probably too absorbed in it, and the pain on his body had faded so much that it was almost impossible to feel it.
"But new life is always difficult. I'm still learning. I wanted to raise some small animals before, such as cats and dogs, but when I thought about it, if I died, there would be no one to take care of them, so forget it.
Life goes on, and a long time passed, and I met some new friends, although they were all a bit weird. "
"Are you referring to everyone in the purification agency?" Zuo Zhen said.
"Well, except for Arthur, everyone else is pretty good." Lorenzo smiled, he hated Arthur deeply.
"It's just that the new life is not always so peaceful. Then something happened. Some friends left, and some new friends arrived. The cycle started over and over again. Sometimes I was sad, but there was nothing I could do."
Lorenzo thought of something bad and his eyes darkened.
"Later...then my roommate and landlord also left, and I was the only one left there."
Zuo Zhen didn't ask what happened specifically, but based on his superficial understanding of Lorenzo, he could roughly guess it.
They are all dangerous figures walking on the edge of the abyss, reapers of life. They exude a strong aura of death, which not only destroys their enemies, but also makes those protected by them deeply fearful.
Therefore, they can only wander sadly outside the crowd, be born alone, and then leave alone.
"It was very difficult at first, but I convinced myself that this was a 'new life'. It was also at this time that I realized the meaning of this word. Everyone is constantly starting a new life, and this new life comes one after another. One section runs through our lives.
I said I would get used to it, just like when I first came to Old Dunling, and I would survive. "
"What a surprise. I thought your life was just monotonous killing." Zuo Zhen said.
"How could it be? I'm living a good life."
Lorenzo retorted that he was so sure of all this that there was no room for doubt.
"I even went to school for a period of time, Zuo Zhen. Although I just took classes, I really took classes well and learned new knowledge. Just like an ordinary student, I wandered around the campus in the afternoon and walked When I was tired, I sat by the flower bed and watched the men and women leave talking and laughing. Some of them were whispering, while others were holding hands in silence.
Ah...I'm reminded of another terrible guy. "
"Who? Your friend?" Zuo Zhen chatted with him.
"Friend...and teacher? Probably," Lorenzo thought, Oscar's face appeared in his mind, "He is an irregular guy. Many times I feel that I am similar to him, but when I think about it carefully, I see that they are very different. .”
"What's the difference?"
"He is an ordinary person, and I am a demon hunter. This is the biggest difference."
Lorenzo relaxed his guard, perhaps because he was moved by Zuo Zhen's story, or because he wanted to tell the story hidden in his heart. In short, the conversation went smoothly, and Zuo Zhen couldn't help but feel slightly happy.
"Oscar is a somewhat familiar guy. The first time I communicated with him was at the flower bed on campus. He sat down next to me and praised me obscenely."
"What are you praising?" Zuo Zhen didn't understand.
Seeing this, Lorenzo couldn't help but smile, and he said slowly.
"You should really take a look, Zuo Zhen. The young and delicate body is walking in front of you on high heels. She is wearing a pure white dress. The hem of the skirt is swaying in the wind, revealing the delicate ankles like sculptures, with the fragrance of flowers. .”
As Lorenzo told, Zuo Zhen sketched such a scene in his mind, and for a moment he didn't know what to say.
Lorenzo laughed even louder, shook his head, and said helplessly.
"Oscar said that this is a place where he can replenish his motivation. When he sees these young and beautiful children, no matter how old he is, his heart will be shocked and he will be full of hope for the future... In fact, he has too much male hormone secretion. , I always suggested that he see a doctor.”
"I didn't expect you to be such a person. Should I say it's reasonable?"
Zuo Zhen's expression was slightly strange.
"No, I'm different from him," Lorenzo guessed what Zuo Zhen was thinking and objected repeatedly, "Oscar and I were thinking completely differently. When he saw the beautiful young body, he couldn't wait to pounce on it. An old pervert, but I’m different.”
"Then what did you see? Holmes."
The smile on Lorenzo's face faded. He almost wanted to speak, but held it back, and finally squeezed out a few words slowly.
"I watched men and women leave the classroom and stay in the garden, discussing poetry and literature, chatting about ideals and love. Some people dispersed, some gathered together, holding hands or letting go...
Some girls smiled at me, and when I responded, I suddenly realized my past. At this time, I realized that I seemed so out of tune with everything here. "
Lorenzo's voice sounded a little lonely as he continued.
"I think they also regarded me as one of the students, but they never imagined that what was in front of them was a well-disguised monster. I watched them leave with happiness...
This feeling is very familiar, just like that afternoon that is irreversible.
do you know?Zuo Zhen, in that moment, I thought of a lot.
The new life I started was just an illusion. I couldn't really integrate here. Everything I experienced in Old Dunling was just false. I had worked hard enough, but at that moment I realized that I had missed everything. What, these things do not belong to me, and they cannot belong to me.
I seem to come from another world, just like you said, a demon crawling out of hell. My final destination is only hell, not this beautiful world. "
Lorenzo looked a little frightened, like a child waking up from a nightmare.
"What have I missed..."
Zuo Zhen didn't speak. The way he looked at Lorenzo changed slightly, as if the ice was beginning to melt.
"I missed that feeling, that sunny afternoon, the gentle breeze in the garden... Later, I seemed to have found this feeling again," Lorenzo said, "I have missed so much, so I want to try , go for it and don’t miss any opportunity.”
“After that, I had my own office, and they would come to me when they had nothing to do. Although I was annoyed by these guys, when the room became lively, I seemed to have found some of that feeling again.
But this thing doesn't last long, Zuo Zhen. "
Lorenzo's autobiography.
"Then what should you do? Holmes," Zuo Zhen asked, "What should you do in order to continue all this?"
"I think you've seen my actions, haven't you?"
Lorenzo asked back, his expression turned cold, and he changed from a frightened child back to the bloodthirsty demon.
"I can't lose my friends anymore, because I no longer dare to make new friends. I can't lose this city and that beautiful garden, so I don't even have a place to recall that feeling. I I can’t let them ruin this, because I’m a fucking witcher! I swore an oath!”
He was furious.
“This damn identity, this damn responsibility, this damn secret blood.
I have lost too much and missed too much. Now these are the only things I have, but they want to take away more. "
With the anger of Lorenzo's words, Zuo Zhen could see the rising and falling glimmer in his pupils. As the sublimation deepened, Lorenzo had slipped to the edge of the abyss, and more and more extraordinary features appeared on him. appear.
"I will kill them all, shoot them with guns, chop them with swords, smash them with my fists, bite them with my teeth... In short, I will kill them all, leaving no one behind, no one left."
Eradicate the demons.
"Then do you regret it?"
Zuo Zhen asked calmly. At first he was very wary of Lorenzo, but now looking at Lorenzo with an angry expression, Zuo Zhen was not so afraid. It seemed that a few words between the two of them made both of them feel at ease. Same.
"Regret what?"
"Becoming a demon hunter, it can be said that all your tragedies are caused by the secret blood. You have implanted this sinful blood and walked on an irreversible path... If you were given a chance to make a new choice, you would Are you going to take this path?"
Faced with this question, Lorenzo was stunned, and his furious expression calmed down. He touched his chest, probably wanting to take out a cigarette, but his clothes had already been changed by the nurses, so he could only touch his chest. Dry bandage.
Zuo Zhen was not in a hurry for Lorenzo's answer. He asked Lorenzo to think about it carefully.
"You seem to have never considered this issue. Without the secret blood, you might be living a completely different life now."
Lorenzo ignored Zuo Zhen, his eyes were empty and he was thinking hard.
"No... maybe." He gave an uncertain answer.
"You don't regret it?"
Lorenzo took a deep breath and then affirmed, "Well, I have already embarked on this path, so there is no need to regret anything."
"why?"
Past experiences flashed before my eyes, countless familiar faces, and the last golden light fell.
"Zuo Zhen, there's something you need to know. Without this damn blood, this wouldn't have started, right? Just like a bad story, if you don't put pen to paper, it won't happen."
Lorenzo felt a little relieved, thinking that there was nothing he could do about it.
“I won’t come to Old Dunling, I won’t make these new friends, and I won’t have these experiences. Although I won’t be sad, I won’t be so happy... let alone talking to you so much nonsense here.
Although this is cruel, there is always something beautiful. If you let me choose another path, I will undoubtedly give up all this. "
Lorenzo looked directly at Zuo Zhen, the rolling glimmer in his eyes silenced, leaving only the darkness under the shadow.
"Do you think I would give up on all this and deny myself?"
Zuo Zhen said nothing more. He stood up and seemed ready to leave.
"Are you leaving?" Lorenzo asked.
"Ah."
"Stop asking what kind of life?"
Lorenzo asked again. Thinking about it carefully, he seemed to have not answered Zuo Zhen's question at all, but was just talking to himself, turning it into a ridiculous conversation.
"I think...I've got my answer."
Zuo Zhen smiled and said nothing more. The sharpness when he entered the room was no longer as sharp as before. He seemed to have turned back into the kind old man. If it weren't for his identity, he might have said good night to Lorenzo.
"Wait a minute, Zuo Zhen."
Lorenzo suddenly stopped him again. Zuo Zhen pushed the door halfway open and turned around. The light from the corridor illuminated his face, but Lorenzo was still hiding in the darkness.
"I don't know or understand what you said, but I understand one thing."
"what?"
“I will take back everything that was taken away by the demon.
One by one, I begged back from the hands of the demon. "
In the darkness, Zuo Zhen could see the slowly rising glimmer of light, like a beam of light shining through dark clouds, tenacious and unstoppable.
(End of this chapter)