Don't help me, I can sit up by myself

Chapter 169 Buy a voice changer

Let Gao Gao die.

The emperor couldn't stand it and said, "Gao Rang, you are here to serve me after all. You have never seen such strong winds and waves. Why are you so arrogant?"

"Slave...Slave seems to be dazzled."

"Look at how little self-interest you have, how come your eyes are dazzled."

It seems that the emperor is unaware of the dangers in the world.

Du Jiyan turned around and brought a cup of tea to the emperor.

When the emperor was receiving tea, he suddenly saw Du Jiyan's face.

day.

How come he, the emperor, looks almost the same? The shape of the long eyebrows and the pear dimples that appear when you frown are all in the same position.

"Gaorang, I seem to be dazzled too." The emperor was confused.

Du Jiyan leaned over to sit on the bed.

The emperor quickly refused: "Don't... don't, don't, don't, don't, don't... I'm... a little confused."

Who wouldn’t be confused after watching this?

According to the law of Chen State, pretending to be the emperor is a capital offense.

But Mrs. Du is not pretending, she has directly transformed into the emperor.

Don't tell me, Du Shi seems to be beautiful.

He stayed up late for several nights in a row, and there were some bruises at the corners of his eyes, as if he had been punched twice. However, Du Shi's face was smooth and the bruises were gone, like a freshly shelled egg.

So tender.

The emperor secretly touched his crotch.

Fortunately it's still there.

Fortunately it's still there.

It was really scary.

The moment he saw Du Jiyan, inspiration burst out in his mind like exploding popcorn, and he thought of a ghost judge in "Liao Zhai" who was so powerful in magic that he could change the heads of two people, and the two of them still... All can live.

The emperor thought something was wrong. Who had replaced his head with Du Jiyan's? Otherwise, how could they be so similar?

So I quickly touched my crotch, and it was fine, fine, and still intact.

Feeling relieved, Gao Rang went forward with a small mirror and took a look in the mirror. Well, it was still him, the same, tall, handsome, and handsome. It didn't look like he had changed his hair.

So what kind of magic did Du Jiyan use?

Du Jiyan held up the gauze clothes and wanted to go to bed to explain, but the emperor refused: "You... Du Shi... are you going to bed like this... now?"

"The emperor and my concubine must be estranged. Doesn't the emperor want me to sleep with you?"

"Half an hour ago, I had this idea, but now... I really don't dare to have this idea at all. My thoughts are extremely pure now." The emperor carefully stretched out his hand and made gestures on Du Jiyan's chest with both hands. , and gestured at Du Jiyan's waist, scratching his head and scratching his head to prove something, but he couldn't do it, so he could only bite his lip and ask: "Ms. Du, you... you... haven't become a man, have you?"

"Your Majesty, I just changed my appearance through the disguise technique, but my body is still my own."

"That's good, that's good. Otherwise, if you become like me and you are pregnant with a child, won't I have to give birth to a child? Isn't that a great shame and humiliation? But Mrs. Du, I really underestimate you. You are in the takeaway business. , you can also disguise yourself, you are really a talent."

"Your Majesty, I have a clever plan." Gao Rang looked happy.

"explain."

"Since Empress Du Bin has the art of disguise, why not disguise herself as the King of Yue? Wouldn't she be able to lead an army by then?"

The emperor gave Gao Rang a roll of his eyes.

Du Jiyan did have the art of disguise, but it was the art of disguise, not the art of ascension.

She disguised herself as the King of Yue and went to lead the troops to fight. She would probably be kicked away by a horse's hooves before even entering the battlefield.

She was pregnant again, and even if he agreed to let her go, the Queen Mother would not allow it, not to mention the long journey.

After all, how could a weak woman be allowed to put herself in danger?

"Ms. Du is pregnant and very weak. Even if she can disguise herself as the king of Yue, she shouldn't go to the frontier to take risks. However, Gao Aiqing's words gave me an idea, and I have a clever plan."

Gao Rang looked at the emperor with admiration: "Your Majesty, I would like to hear the details."

"Mr. Du, can you disguise Gao Rang as the King of Yue and let him lead troops at the frontier? Gao Rang has met the King of Yue many times, and he also knows a little about the King of Yue's character."

Du Jiyan...

Gao Rang: "Your Majesty, please spare my life. I am just a eunuch."

"Then why don't you go do what eunuchs are supposed to do." The emperor lowered his eyebrows.

Gao Rang quickly retreated to the door.

so close.

Du Jiyan had such a magical disguise that could be faked, so the emperor could boldly go to the frontier to pretend to be the king of Yue and lead the troops.

After all, the emperor is no less wise than the king of Yue.

The royal children have always been good at both civil and military affairs. They can only lead troops, and the emperor is confident.

But when he goes to the frontier, Du Jiyan will pretend to be him and walk around the palace.

Gao Rang could get away with it here. Gao Rang had always been his weakling. Du only talked about disguise, so Gao Rang was naturally tight-lipped. Only the three of them know about this matter.

But could Du Jiyan, a pregnant woman, really pretend to be the emperor in the palace?

Du Jiyan was obviously shorter than him.

But if you wear a taller hair crown, you may be able to make up for it a little bit.

Du Jiyan was only a few months pregnant and her belly was not obvious yet, so it was not a mistake.

But she pretends to be the emperor, so she has to keep talking, right? He is not mute.

Du Jiyan's voice when talking to him was completely different.

This is a fatal flaw.

The emperor was worried and prepared to test it.

"Du Shi, please sing a little song and listen."

"Your Majesty, I don't have that kind of talent. If your Majesty wants to listen to a little song, you can call someone from Nanfu."

"No need to bark, I mainly want to hear if you have a crow's voice."

Who to insult.

I've heard of a crow's beak, but when did I have a crow's voice?

The emperor had his own conclusion: "I understand. Although you have changed your appearance, your voice has not changed. It is still a crow's voice."

Du Jiyan rolled his eyes.

"It's not impossible to have a fake emperor like you guarding Chen Guo's capital, but..."

"What concerns does the Emperor have?"

"It's just that your voice is completely different from mine, which will reveal the truth. Once outsiders know that you are pretending to be the emperor, the consequences will be serious. You and the people of the capital may be in danger. Every time I think about it, This makes me uneasy and uneasy."

Don't tell me earlier.

This is nothing.

With the system in hand, these problems are easy to solve.

Du Jiyan didn't panic at all: "Your Majesty, I have a voice changer."

"What musical instrument is a voice changer? Why have I never heard of it? Is it a Nanfu instrument? Or a folk instrument?"

The emperor was confused.

Of course, the voice changer is not a musical instrument, but a prop that Du Jiyan bought in the system mall. With two points, you can use the voice changer for a day, and you can get a 50% discount if you buy it for a month.

It tastes great if it's on sale, so Du Jiyan bought it for a year. Of course, you can't tell the emperor anything about buying a voice changer in the mall, otherwise the emperor will definitely think she is a monster.

Du Jiyan could only tell the emperor that she had learned how to change her voice from a folk artist, and she could change her voice into someone else's voice without any flaws this year. In other words, she could imitate the emperor's speech during this year. the sound of.

Emperor: "Can you really imitate me?"

Fake goods are never sold in the system.

Of course it can be imitated well.

"You can learn a sound from me and listen to it."

"What kind of voice does the emperor like? Sister voice? Lolita voice? Girly voice, rough Chinese voice? Eunuch voice?"

Gao Rang, who was guarding the door, frowned: Who did the eunuch offend?

The emperor is not interested in eunuch sounds or rough Chinese sounds, nor is he interested in girl sounds, but Lolita sounds and royal sister sounds, well, you can listen to them.

"Then give me some Lolita music, Yujie music or something like that, and let me listen to it. Is there any resemblance to it?"

Du Jiyan spent his points and soon the voice changer arrived.

Then try the effect.

"Everyone, please just exercise your muscles and muscles here. Are you tired? You are just tired. Comfort is reserved for the dead. Men can sit on this throne of kings and mountains, but women can't sit on it?"

A chill ran down the Emperor's spine. Good fellow, this person who is planning to usurp the throne and destroy the nine clans is still very arrogant.

"Daji, let me see your heart. Please give Daji your orders, master. Master's orders are absolute."

The emperor smiled like an aunt, "Well, this is good."

"Three circles to the left, three circles to the right, twist and turn. I am also a lolita lover, my idol is Lord Mengde, my favorite pet is A Dian, and my dream is to raise an alpaca."

Although I don’t understand this, it’s not hard to hear.

The emperor raised his lips.

Although Nanfu's opera and dance are good, I feel a little tired after watching them. With the change of Du Jiyan's voice, won't it feel fresh? What an interesting sound. After a while, it seemed like three or five people were talking in the Taihe Palace. It was really strange.

"I think your voice of destroying the nine tribes is very attractive." The emperor touched Du Jiyan's lips with both hands. What magical lips are these? Those words of destroying the nine tribes are so powerful.

"Your Majesty, just keep talking, why are you still taking advantage of me?" Du Jiyan said.

It was Gao Rang's voice.

Du Jiyan actually successfully imitated Gao Rang's voice.

This sound was so fake that the emperor almost pissed himself.

The good guy was touching his concubine one second, and the next he felt like he was having sex with Gao Rang?

The overwhelming feeling of guilt.

"Ms. Du, you are a woman and don't know how powerful this is. If you scare me like this, you will scare me to death."

"Your Majesty, are you dying?" Du Zhiyan was shocked.

"Nonsense, it's okay now."

"Then let's rest. Now that I have the art of disguise, it is equivalent to the emperor having the art of cloning. The emperor can set off on his journey today, so he needs to have a good rest now."

The brocade tent hangs down and the bright candles flicker.

Du Jiyan took the emperor's hand and sat beside the bed.

"Your Majesty, the Queen Mother is here." It was Gao Rang's voice.

The emperor pinched Du Jiyan's face and said, "Isn't it Pi? It's okay. I'll always learn from Gao Jing's words."

"Your Majesty, the Queen Mother is here to see you." Gao Rang's voice at the door rose two points higher.

It turns out that Du Jiyan wasn't imitating, it was really the Queen Mother who came later.

The emperor stood up to greet him. He thought that Du Jiyan next to him looked like him, and he suddenly became nervous. With Du Jiyan's level of disguise, two emperors appeared in the Palace of Supreme Harmony, and the Queen Mother was so frightened that she fell down and suffered a stroke. ah.

No no no.

The emperor asked Du Jiyan to hide behind the screen and never come out.

He went to welcome the Queen Mother in, and sat her down on the couch, while he waited beside her.

The lights were bright, and the screen was embroidered with extremely fine silk, which was so light and thin that it was almost light-transmitting.

The emperor clearly saw a figure behind the screen.

If the Queen Mother discovers it, the Queen Mother will not be able to bear this kind of stimulation.

So I quickly stood in front of the screen to block it.

The Queen Mother sat on the couch, took a sip of tea, and began to count the beads on her wrist: "Qi'er sent a letter to the Ai family. It was urgent from 800 miles away. It said that he was seriously ill and the military doctor He said that he was afraid that he would not be able to get out of bed for a month, and it is still unknown whether he will be better in the future."

The Queen Mother sobbed once and wiped the corners of her eyes with a handkerchief: "Now I heard that the frontier fortress and Yelang are both uneasy. This is the time to use Qi'er. But he fell. Is there anyone else available to the emperor? Civil and military officials. Does the official have any suggestions? What should we do if those aliens attack Beiding? Although the Ai family is a harem woman and is not allowed to interfere in politics, the Chen country is currently in dire straits, so the Ai family cannot help but ask more questions. .”

The Queen Mother sobbed again and waited quietly for the Emperor's answer.

Gao Rang was really worried that the Taihe Palace would not be bright enough. He lit so many candles and illuminated the Taihe Palace as if it were daytime.

The Queen Mother's bad eyesight can now be seen clearly.

Especially with such a thin screen, the person hiding behind the screen will be exposed every minute.

Now the Queen Mother is sitting at the door. It is too late to get out, but the screen is facing the Queen Mother. If the Queen Mother discovers that Du Jiyan is pretending to be the emperor, Du Jiyan will be shocked again.

The emperor wanted to protect Du Jiyan.

So I followed Du Jiyan's example and stood in front of the screen with my legs crossed.

I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to cover it, so I deliberately stretched out my hands and pinched my waist to expand the area.

The Queen Mother was wiping away her tears and stared at the Emperor carefully. She always felt that something was wrong, but she couldn't really explain it for a while. However, the Emperor, who has been relatively stable recently, was pinching at the moment. They were posing there, so strange.

The children of the royal family have been taught to sit upright since they were young. This is called standing with a standing posture and sitting with a sitting posture. Who allowed the emperor to do this?

The Queen Mother's voice suddenly became stern: "Jian'er, what are you doing there coquettishly?"

"Back to the Queen Mother, I...I...have a bit of an itch."

"What's wrong? Is the emperor itchy because of the uncomfortable clothes, or because he ate something he didn't like? Stand still and let the Aijia take a look."

The Queen Mother said and was about to step forward.

The emperor was so frightened that he stood still: "Your Majesty, I don't feel itchy anymore. Maybe I just want to..."

"What are you thinking about?"

"I drank too much tea just now. I probably wanted to go to the bride's room."

"Then why don't you go? How can you stand there with your legs crossed?"

"Yes, Queen Mother." The Emperor was about to go, but suddenly he had an idea, he couldn't go. If he went, wouldn't the Queen Mother find Du Jiyan with such a thin screen?

For Du Jiyan's sake, this palace must not be visited.

"Why isn't the emperor going again?"

"I suddenly... am not in a hurry to go to Gong's room again."

Queen Mother: "You are also the emperor now. Why do you come up with ideas again and again? For such a big person, there is no certainty."

The Queen Mother was supported by Aunt Guan and sat back down. She sighed and counted her Buddhist beads: "Have you taken these words to your heart when the Ai family told you? What kind of plan do you have in mind? Tell the Ai family, I'm sorry." Let me listen to what you mean."

"I just want to——"

"Stop standing at the screen, it's blocking the light. The Ai family's eyesight has been bad recently, and everything they see is a bit blurry. Jian'er, come to the Ai family."

what.

There is no way to escape.

The emperor's legs unconsciously crossed again.

　Queen Mother: Your Majesty is a bit evil tonight

　　

　

(End of this chapter)