It's a diary

Chapter 18 Good night good night

If one day, I suddenly stop talking nonsense.Either he was tired, sleepy, overslept, or just completely absent.

But it won't.

I don't want that.

I hope so myself, and would rather just be lazy and sleepy.The people I like, the people who like me are still there, and there seems to be no reason to leave.

Alin is right, even if it is for himself, he must persist a little longer.

I haven’t been to Yangshuo to see the ginkgo forest there, so how could I leave?

It's cold, it's cold all of a sudden.

Is this autumn?
I saw a book that said, "For spring, is autumn its tragedy?"

so!Actually I like autumn very much.

I like to watch migratory birds flying over Beiyu Island. They fly in groups above my head.

They blocked the light above my head, but what they brought, what they brought to me, was hope.

The yearning for freedom was once again aroused, maybe, I can too.

Now that I have left Beiyu, can this be considered as having touched the freedom that I longed for in the past?
Then why am I still unhappy?
I can't seem to be happy no matter what, even if I am occasionally happy, it will inevitably be mixed with traces of sadness and sorrow.

I hate it.

all.everything.

I hated being sick, so I once refused to take medicine.

Not entirely.Maybe it’s because I don’t want to persist anymore. ——It’s so hard to persevere! ——But it’s hard to give up.

If that's the case, then why do you have to choose one over the other.Just find the right spot between the two and stay there.

Fortunately, I found it.

So, then, I will try it little by little.

It was really hard at the beginning!Now that I think about it, I still feel ridiculous and pitiful.

very nice.I did it.

The journey was difficult and dangerous, just like I am alone in Qingzhou now.

It's actually pretty good in Qingzhou.It's just that as a coward, I can't help but be afraid.

I'll have a holiday soon.

This time, the school did not arrange nucleic acid testing.I made a plan with a schoolmate and planned to take time off to do nucleic acid tests, and then run away early the day after tomorrow.

It has been raining in Qingzhou recently, light rain from time to time, and then heavy rain again.The patter of rain kept me awake.The rain was pouring down and my whole body ached from it.

How should I tell you the pain I am experiencing now?It seems that all the education I have received in more than ten years and all the words I have learned are not enough to express the suffering I am suffering now.

I'm in so much pain.

In the past, it was just a sore back in my daily life, but later it became painful, and now it is accompanied by pain in my vertebrae, which rarely hurts.

When I'm in Beiyu, this happens only around November, but now it's already happening early.

I can't help but start to fear the days ahead.

Maybe it’s just because the air quality in Qingzhou is not as good as that in Beiyu.

The air quality in Beiyu is really good. In the seven or eight years I have been in Beiyu, I have never seen the air quality in Beiyu not being excellent.

The school is having a fire prevention drill. I went to listen to it today and was drenched in light rain... Then I took it to the venue, and it rained heavily after that.I couldn't run back, so I could only walk back in the rain, step by step, coughing from time to time.I really wanted to be weird at that time, but alas...

What can I say, it just hurts.It hurt so much that it made me cry.Really, I cried.

I often cry because of a lot of trivial things, but rarely because of physical pain.

I feel that I can endure pain very well. Look at what I endured... those past few years are the best proof of that.

I cried for half an hour.

It's a celebration, I can only say it's a celebration.I didn’t cry on the road, but it was raining at that time, so I could just say: the raindrops got into my eyes.

What should I do.Now that I say that, I feel like crying again.

Am I going to turn into a crybaby?
At that time, I planned to ask the teacher if I could not participate and just watch from the side.

Later, I didn’t even ask.

There were many boys in the class, and everyone had fun at night. During the cultural class during the day, it rained again, so many people fell down.

Coupled with some other reasons, Laoban talked a lot tonight.

After the evening self-study, some disputes broke out in the group, which is not convenient to go into detail.

The final ending ended with Lao Ban coming out and banning everyone and giving a warning.

I'm so scared, I'm so afraid of others being angry.I'm also afraid of making others sad.

One is that I am really afraid.Can an angry person still be considered a human being?

It may be okay, but at least it's not the one in my impression, or the original one.

If you are sad, you are reluctant to let go from the bottom of your heart.Just can't bear it.

Finally, I asked whether the school would arrange for nucleic acid testing, and whether I could take leave to do nucleic acid testing.

His answer was short, but it gave an answer.

"No arrangement."

"In the afternoon."

I didn’t ask about anything else. It’s not that I can’t do the drill at all, it just hurts a little.It's not far from here to the flag-raising platform.Big deal, if it doesn’t work, just report it again.

I didn't want to ask more questions that might upset him.I don't want to do anything to trouble him.

Try again and do what you can.Although it may end in failure.

Winning is worth cheering for.If you lose, it doesn't matter. If you are stupid, it seems to be okay.

Isn't it?
Afterwards, I said good night to him.So I quit reading this piece of nonsense. I thought he couldn't read it anymore.

Unexpectedly, just now, he sent an expression.I don’t know what it is, and it’s not good to go and see it now.This means it has been read.

You'll get caught lying.

He hates liars.

I didn't do anything, I just finished talking nonsense and fell asleep.

Although, I won't fall asleep.

As I sent him, I tell you in the same way:
"Go to bed early and have a good night."

(End of this chapter)