It's a diary

Chapter 184 8.13
[I’ll talk a lot about snakes later, so don’t read further if you’re afraid.When I think back on it, I find it a little scary. 】

Today is here in the blink of an eye, and August is already barely halfway through.

Suddenly, I couldn't say anything.

Why is this so.

I didn't wake up until nearly ten o'clock. When I woke up, I went out to wander around. When I came back, I sat on the edge of the bed and looked out the window and swayed my feet.

It seemed like a long time passed like this, but it seemed like it was only a short while.

Now I don't feel sleepy at all, and my mouth is filled with the taste of ice cream.No matter how much water I drink, it always feels sweet and greasy.

Maybe I should do something, but it's like I've been cursed by a witch and I can only sit in a daze like a puppet.

One afternoon after the rain stopped, I was watching the long-lost blue sky and white clouds at the beach, and I suddenly bought a ticket for the trip.

And in the middle of the night when heavy rain was about to come, the ticket was refunded all at once.

All we can say is: plans cannot keep up with changes.

I don’t have to go anywhere.

In fact, at the end of the day, I still don’t like traveling far away.For the same reason, I don't want to stay at home.

Very annoying.

It's annoying no matter where it is.I don’t like it anywhere.

An ordinary life, as calm as a lake without any ripples, no flowers, no birds and butterflies... There is only a lake that cannot be seen to the edge, as clean as a mirror.

is ordinary.

Or maybe mediocrity.

The lake is as clean as a large mirror, but if you get to the edge and look down, you might be dragged down by something.

As for what's underneath that seemingly clean "mirror," no one knows yet.No one can truly feel it.

There used to be a pond in front of my house, which was dug by someone else to raise fish.

At first, fish fry were put in, but later, the profit was not good, so they stopped paying attention.

But even if no one pays attention to it, there are still fish inside.

Some people say that the bird picked up fish eggs from elsewhere and brought them here.Some people say that the fish came here along the water channels extending in all directions, from the stream at the foot of the mountain, the fish pond in the next village, and the reservoir at the other end of the mountain...

What it is like, I don’t know.

What I can clearly tell is that when I was a child, I liked squatting by the pond and looking down.

Afraid of falling, afraid of being dragged in by something, afraid of toads and snakes suddenly appearing.

But I just like watching it.

I can’t explain why I do it, but I always like to do it.

……

Someone in the village caught snakes. In the past, his family built a pond over one meter high. Some of the snakes he caught, including smaller ones, were thrown into it.

There is water in it, but it is rarely changed.Therefore, the water inside always looks green.

There will be a few branches, and in the early spring afternoon, they will always climb on the branches to bask in the sun.

Can't tell exactly what it is.At that time, I was not afraid of snakes.

I would always stand there and watch them.The most impressive thing is their eyes, black, brown, green...

Now that I think about it, it's a bit scary.

When I was a child, I encountered bamboo leaves and green leaves in the bamboo forest.The green body was curled up on the emerald green bamboo, a pair of red eyes looked straight at the person, sticking out his tongue and making a hissing sound.

I was still young at that time, so I didn’t feel scared, and I wasn’t nearsighted yet, so I could see clearly.

At that time, it was the Tomb Sweeping Day and there were adults around, so it was nothing but a detour.

Maybe because of my young age, or maybe out of curiosity, I looked back several times.

It's really, really beautiful.

Color like bamboo.

There must be fear, but the color is really beautiful.

I am increasingly convinced that the more beautiful something is, the more dangerous it is.This is the sentence.

Because no one deliberately feeds the snakes in that pool, they will always bite each other when they are extremely hungry.

I've seen it, but I didn't know why at the time.

In fact, I don’t know yet.

Sometimes you can see many snakes entangled together like a ball.

I don't understand why.

Time passed year after year.That pool was empty years ago.

At first, there was only a pool of green to black water, and then summer came, and there was no water at all.

Only dried moss remains.

It has been unused and is now overgrown with weeds.

Some time ago, I dreamed that a painter was painting in a vibrant yard.

Sometimes I draw the yard, sometimes I draw the swing swaying slightly in the wind, sometimes I draw the cat rolling on the lawn...

But what I draw most are flowers.

Drooping wisteria flowers, blooming white camellias, ever-blooming red roses, flawless white hydrangeas... He would cut off a flower after he painted it.

He said: Its best appearance has been shown on paper, so it is best to leave at this time.

I watched him paint from the perspective of a bystander.A painting is finished and a flower falls.

The seasons change throughout the year, the flowers still bloom, and he never changes.

Until one morning after a cold winter, the swallows left and the last golden flower bloomed.

Are you intentionally or unintentionally reducing the time you use your cell phone?

I would rather sleep in a daze than touch my phone.

Fortunately, there are not many people to contact on weekdays.Yes, I seem to be like that with everyone, having nothing to say.

Communicating and getting along with people is very difficult.

It's really annoying.

I learned to bake cookies from my cousin, but I didn’t fully master it.But I ate a lot.

I’m also doing watercolor painting, but I can’t always draw it well.very bad.

……

Less talk and more action.

Sometimes I read, sometimes I write, sometimes I run, sometimes I ride around the city...but no matter what, it's just occasional.

In fact, what I do most is sleep and daze.

Sit on the bay window and swing your legs, or move a stool to the balcony to look down, and keep wiping the cup over and over again...

Think about many, many questions.

There are many things that I already know the answer to, already know the outcome of, and cannot change.

When you are tired, go to bed.

When I woke up, I started watering the green basket and those succulents.

Breathe in the wind here and watch others play there.There are too many tourists in this city, so no matter where I go, there are unfamiliar faces.

Stranger you have never met, are you still happy?

Are you satisfied with everything you see?
Over the past few years, I have gradually forgotten many things.

I actually hope that one day I can forget myself too.If this is the case, it should be considered a new student.

What I am talking about now is actually just talking to myself.

Talking to himself.I'm always like this.

I want to be noticed, but I also want to hide and not be seen.

It’s a very contradictory mentality, but it’s okay to be contradictory. This is who I am and what most people are like.

Not everyone has the courage to move forward.

me too.

Every decision I make must be made through comprehensive and multi-faceted considerations.

I was very afraid. I was afraid that if I leaned forward a little, I would fall into the stagnant water.

Like wild dandelions beside the old city wall, people are coming and going on the road, and everyone is rushing towards their destination.

Dandelion whispered the story, but when someone stopped, it hid again.

Its story is best told to the wind.

Because it likes the wind - the wind can take it further.

Phew - a gust of wind passed by.

It's like nothing ever existed.

(End of this chapter)