It's a diary

Chapter 92 1.19
In the blink of an eye, it’s 28.But when you see these words, it should be 29.

The Chinese New Year will be here soon.

What will happen in the new year?

It turns out that the hot and unbearable midsummer has passed, how come it’s so fast, why it’s always so fast.

The sun rises and sets, spring comes and goes, then comes midsummer, late autumn, and cold winter.Now, it seems that the last wave of cold wave has passed. Is winter over?

I saw the camellias blooming in front of the private building, and I always wanted to go to the temple halfway up the mountain in the scenic area to see if the camellias there were also blooming.

Believe in a thought.No, I just think the place is clean.

I don't believe this.Not only do I not believe in these, I also don’t believe in others, let alone myself.

The existence of some things is meaningless in itself.

Just like the painting I drew - I still can't figure out why the roses are green.

Green.The color of life.

If that's the case, then I can understand why Bianbian likes this color.

The unknown green trees planted along the road behind will lose all their leaves in winter and will not sprout again until early spring of the next year.

That was true last year, but not this year.Because it was very cold last winter, but not this year.There are still many leaves on those trees.

Bianbian liked it very much. She once asked me to go with her to pick off a budding branch and bring it back. I agreed, but never left.

After waiting and waiting, the rose bloomed again.

After a while, the flowering period of the yellow bellflower is over.

Speaking of this, I seem to suddenly think of the spring last year, and the cool wind that kept blowing towards me.

I was sitting on the steps in front of a commercial shop on the side of the road at the east gate, blowing in the wind and watching the setting sun shine on another community.

I fiddled with the small telephoto lens, which was only a few hundred inches smaller, for a long time before I took a photo that was barely adequate.

Then the gust of wind blew away the fruits of the kapok tree, and countless white cotton wadding floated in the air.

The last gust of wind blew from the southwest, making the sea extremely turbid. At the same time, the waves also brought abandoned garbage from the other side of the ocean.They just lay there on the white beach, just like the fishy smell of dead fish and shrimps, which is disgusting.

In this kind of weather, if you really have any thoughts and jump in, it will be something that even the gods and Buddhas will not be able to save you in this world.

In coastal cities, the most important thing is drowning prevention education, and people are patrolled near the beach every year.

When I was still studying in Beiyu, the school organized me to go to the beach to pick up garbage several times.Therefore, I equally hate everyone who throws garbage and cigarette butts on the beach and on the road.

The streets are getting quieter and quieter, but more fireworks can be heard at night.

When I came back yesterday, I saw many lanterns hung in the community.Looking at it this way, it seems to have a look and feel, and it also has a bit of a New Year atmosphere.

It rained all the time last year, so I don't know if it caused any damage.

It was really cold last winter. I felt sleepy all winter, so naturally I didn’t care about anything else.

This year is good, there is winter, but it is short.

If winter is short, spring will be longer.On February [-]th, I went out for a walk.

Maybe it’s because I haven’t moved for too long, maybe I’ve walked too far, or maybe it’s just too cold to bear. When I woke up today, my leg felt like it was broken.So after waking up, I went back to sleep and didn't get up until five o'clock in the afternoon.

Walking the same path I have walked before; thinking about the troubled things in the past; thinking about why the bold and wanton graffiti on that shop door is no longer there; it turns out that this Internet cafe is closed; what kind of tree is this, a camphor tree or a banyan tree? It doesn’t seem to be the case; oh, those albizia trees that I saw on the way to school are gone. So when I said I saw it before, my memory was confused, or I mistook the hibiscus next to it for albizia...

I know all these roads, but I’m not so familiar with them now.

It was really cold that day, with the north wind whistling past my ears. Even though I was dressed warmly enough, I could still feel the chill.

I ordered a bowl of noodles at the noodle shop I liked very much, and looked at the road outside through the glass.

How could I forget - the owner of Yihetang next to this store is very good; that store used to sell paint; the other store originally forgot what it did, but later became a bar, and now I don’t know; one store used to sell pigs What was a cheap meal has now become a milk tea shop. Hippo and I studied there before a big exam; there is also a shop where I can chat with the owner of that shop. They are a very warm family. Maybe they are greedy. It is so overflowing with warmth that I am always willing to drive more than three kilometers to eat noodles there.

I came back in the evening. I didn't say anything, just got into the quilt and started to sleep.

When you can't fall asleep, go out for a walk more and think more, and you will be able to fall asleep.The premise is that you have to walk far enough so that you will be tired, and you have to think about bad things, so that you just want to escape.

When you are physically and mentally exhausted and want to escape reality, why don't you fall asleep naturally?

In fact, I rarely go out these days, but I just don’t want to take any time off. I always feel that drinking and sleeping at home is boring.

I would rather go out and walk here and there.Over and over again, day by day.

I like wine, but I've never been an alcoholic.

I've seen gamblers and I've seen drunkards.I know very well how dangerous these two things are, so I will never use alcohol to numb myself.

The gambler gambled until the end and lost a year's salary.Drunkards drink to the end and stay up all night.

Oh, and there are smokers who can get up and smoke three or four times a night.His heartbreaking coughs, accompanied by sighs, slipped through the crack in the door and reached my ears.

I can't sleep either.

I would think about this man's life, his helplessness and the stupid things he had done, and worry about his body like a foolish Virgin, fearing that he would not be able to survive this winter.

I am afraid, I am afraid of death, I am only afraid of the death of others.

I also know crazy people.There used to be crazy people on the diagonal side of the front door and diagonally opposite the back door of the house.

They were acting crazy and murmuring words I couldn't understand.I have been warned to stay away from them since I was a child. Then, when I grew up, they were no longer in this miserable world.

One got lost in the mountains and was freezing when he found it.One doesn't know.

The former seems to be like this because of the birth of a child.The latter does not know.

The former was not completely crazy, she was sometimes sane, which I later learned from other people's conversations.This can also explain why she sometimes stares at me, smiles, and asks me if I am my mother.

I also want to be a madman, a madman who is ridiculed by others and really pitiful.No, I can't do that, I won't do that, I won't allow myself to do that.

I'm too strong.

I hope you all have a good New Year, and I hope that the coming year for you and me will be like toffee, as sweet as toffee every day.

(End of this chapter)