i'm not a bad man

Chapter 114 The old loser also has spring

After I proposed the name "Old Waste", I kept looking at the people who were about to form a band together. I wasn't sure about others, but I knew Tu Lin would definitely like this name, because he, like me, is A person who is good at laughing at himself, so he doesn’t even mind if we call him Tu Lin... For people like us, self-deprecation is a kind of power, it will make our hearts extremely strong, and in the end we will not be afraid of anything in this world. Malice and ridicule, because before others scold us, we have already scolded ourselves a hundred times in our hearts...

For example, during this experience between me and Luan Yu, I also deeply reflected on myself. I really couldn't give her the life she wanted, so after she left, I didn't pester her. The only thing I was angry about was Yu: She should not have let me leave Qingdao, and she should not have used the method of repairing my hymen to deny our previous experience...

Her behavior made me feel like a waste, unable to give her what she wanted, and making her feel disgusted. Of course I didn't like this feeling, but when I scolded myself in my heart, something magical happened. I'm actually not that angry anymore; I'm still the Korean Chao, seeking pleasure in this painful world in my own way. I neither compromise nor sink, I just want to be happy and want to be happy.

This is the spirit I want to convey through "Old Waste". The old waste must be happy because he has given up on interpersonal relationships for the purpose of fame and fortune, and has seen through the faces of bad people. Without the harm caused by bad people, and without the pressure of chasing fame and fortune, of course I will be happy.

I'm afraid Brother Shanhe won't agree with this name, because before we met, he was already a successful person who achieved financial freedom. Successful people have the world view and values ​​​​of successful people. Why bother to follow our group and become "waste" "Woolen cloth?

Sure enough, just as I thought, Tu Lin immediately agreed, while Brother Shanhe frowned and lit a cigarette.After taking a deep breath, he finally said: "This name... sounds really unpleasant at first, but when I cursed myself in my heart, I suddenly felt a lot better... Last year, my wife Unfortunately, I fell ill and passed away. To be honest, I have always behaved calmly in front of others, but only I know the anguish in my heart. If success and failure in this life are measured by money, then I have achieved little success... ... But what if we use emotions to measure it? Then I am really an old waste. After I achieved financial freedom, I did not think about repaying my wife who was standing silently behind me. I only wanted to enjoy myself and bought a car. I drove my RV all over the country for two or three years. When I wanted to stop, my wife couldn't... In these years, my son has been abroad. In fact, he has had the opportunity to return to China for development, but he has been unable to do so. I don't want to come back. I know he has resentment in his heart and feels that I am sorry for his mother...Looking back now, it seems that I have experienced everything and yet it seems that I have nothing...At my age, it is a bit pretentious to say that I am lonely. But sometimes I feel really lonely. If you don’t have some things, forget about it. If you have them and then lose them, it feels really lonely..."

Having said this, Brother Shanhe put out the cigarette in his hand, then took a deep breath and said, "Old trash band, I can accept it."

Brother Shanhe's heartfelt words made us all sad, so that we all fell into silence. The last person to break the silence was Qiao Jiao, and it could only be Qiao Jiao. She sighed: " It seems like this RV is the source of all evil!”

Brother Shanhe and I looked at each other, and finally said in our hearts, "That's it, that's it," without saying a word to refute.

This is Brother Shanhe's understanding of "old waste". He feels that "old waste" is the embodiment of regret and the past that cannot be recovered. I agree with this.

At this moment, before the establishment of the "Old Waste Band", there is only one statement from Saozhu, so we all focus on Saozhu.

Finally, the naughty pig took off his glasses, touched his forehead, and said, "Old waste, I admit it!"

I stood up and said with a smile: "Okay, then I will officially announce that our old trash band was founded on this joyful night... Come, let's raise a toast to celebrate!"

After saying that, I filled the glass with beer and raised the glass high. Everyone also agreed. Our glasses collided with each other and the wine splashed everywhere. Just like our mood, we have lost our sense of belonging to this world, but we are still restless.

After putting down the cup and thoroughly savoring the pleasure, I said to Liu Chuang: "You can also join our band and be our manager. If anyone needs it, help us contact us for performances."

Qiao Jiao looked at me with disdain and said, "Liu Chuang is still young, why do you want to hang out with old men like you?" Liu Chuang smiled and replied, "I am already old at heart. He is also an old waste..." After a pause, he added: "I am running around all day long, and I can get access to all kinds of information. From now on, I will be responsible for contacting the performances."

The addition of Liu Chuang made our configuration more complete, and I felt a sense of satisfaction in my heart because I finally gathered the people around me, giving us something else to do besides survival. .

At this time, Qiao Jiao, who was worried that the world would be in chaos, said again: "Have you forgotten that there are two girls who are singing along? Do you want them to follow you and call them old losers?"

Only then did everyone realize the existence of Lu Xi and Zuo Xiaowei. They first looked at Lu Xi and Zuo Xiaowei, and then focused on me to see how I would decide. After all, I am the sponsor, and They are indeed our accompaniment singers, and it seems too disgraceful for the old loser to use them.

After pondering for a while, I smiled and said: "This matter is easy to solve, they are non-staff... Our band has such two angel-like backup singers, what does it mean?... It means that we old losers also have spring... Haha ...With such a positioning, does the concept of this old waste become another level enriched?"

Sao Zhu gave me a thumbs up and sighed: "Han Chao, what I admire most about you is not your drinking capacity, but your mouth... You are so fucking eloquent. I originally thought this old waste The positioning is a bit sad, but when you said that there is spring for old losers, I suddenly felt that our group of people still had a chance to grow out of dead trees... Damn, drink... I must drink to death today... I have never been like this night , so painful and happy!”

I also think this is a very special night, because Sao Zhu is a very realistic person. He doesn’t talk about ideals or feelings. He only thinks about business and making money every day. Today he actually said "Pain and happiness" Such saucy words show that the atmosphere is really set off.

At this time, I subconsciously looked at Ren Ran, who had been silent, but she was not as smiling as everyone else. She held a glass of beer by herself, but did not drink it. She just looked at it absentmindedly, as if she was worried.

I didn’t think much about this, because women have always been sentimental. On such a night full of atmosphere, what we thought about was drinking and getting drunk tonight, but what she cared about might be the loneliness after the carnival...

Yes, the show had to end eventually. After the show, she was still the same as she had been on countless nights before. She couldn't wait for her husband to come back, nor could she look forward to the love she expected. In fact, it wasn't just her, but most of us in this group. People cannot look back, and this night, she looked back earlier than all of us.

……

I have forgotten how much wine I drank that night. I only remember that after finishing the beer, I started drinking red wine. After finishing the red wine, I also drank the white wine that I should not drink, until my consciousness gradually blurred...

The next day, I was woken up by the sun. My head was extremely heavy and my body was full of alcohol. I subconsciously raised my hand and wanted to hit my head, but it touched the softness. When I turned around, my blood pressure immediately soared. , the person lying next to me turned out to be Zuo Xiaowei!

(End of this chapter)