i'm not a bad man

Chapter 120 Confessing with nonsense

After I asked the question of why I was asked to act as a shield, I didn’t look at Lu Xi’s expression because I didn’t want to show too much concern. I hoped that she could tell her motives and reasons in a relaxed state. idea.

"I have rejected him many times, and every time he would say let go and be friends; however, the next time we meet, he will show reluctance. I have blocked his WeChat account and don't know who he is. How did I find this place today? I really have nothing to do with him. I wanted him to quit before the difficulties, but I didn’t expect that he would have such an extreme reaction..."

"That's just because you want me to be a shield."

After saying that, I put the cigarette between my two fingers into my mouth and took a deep breath. Then I turned to look at Lu Xi. Her white pants were stained by the mud splashed by the rain. , but she seemed not used to curling up too hard, and still exposed her feet outside the eaves. Instead, I curled up in a ball, because I hate the feeling of moisture, and I never even swim in the water.

"Anyway, we have already had scandals, and you are more convincing than anyone else."

I smiled and replied: "Is this also an act of breaking a jar and smashing it?"

This time, Lu Xi didn’t reply to me, so I wasn’t discouraged. I took off my coat, covered her legs and feet, and said to her, “You just had your ligaments repaired, don’t catch a cold.”

Lu Xi also turned to look at me. This was the first time we had looked at each other since we sat down. Lu Xi’s eyes were much softer than before. She asked me softly: "Do you treat all women like this? "

"Uh, what do you mean?"

"Always behave so without hesitation. Jiaojiao also said before that when you were in Shenyang, the street lamp was blown down by the wind, and you protected her; today, when Zhao Xin was about to take action, you blocked me again. Behind you, if you weren’t protecting me, your brow bone wouldn’t have been cracked by Zhao Xin.”

"Haha... At this time, if I don't protect you, do I still expect you to protect me?"

I laughed wantonly, but Lu Xi fell into silence. After a long time, he said to me: "Don't do this to a woman easily..."

I flicked off the ash accumulated on the end of my cigarette, and suddenly a very strong thought came to my mind, and I became a little nervous and restless: "Sister Lu, I have always felt that you need to choose a good time to express love, just like a woman's desire, not It must have arisen out of thin air in the two or three days after the menstrual period... and the emotional resonance must have occurred during the time of emptiness and helplessness... But now, although I am not sure whether it is a good time, I don't want to do it again. Hidden, actually... Actually, I quite like you, because so far, I have never seen a more beautiful woman than you... But this is just a superficial liking. What really makes my heart beat is your love. After coming out of the room... That day, it was also such a late night. I was walking alone on the empty street. My heart was so empty and I was eager to be filled with something. At this time, I walked to Hisense Plaza and saw what you were doing. In the promotional video shot by that luxury brand, you were wearing a white ski suit, holding flowers in your hands, and the wine in the cup was red. So many colors, it instantly filled my heart... I wouldn’t have gone there at that time. What extravagant expectations, but I really like this feeling of unexpected encounter... I don’t know why, but there will always be opportunities to connect us together. If I am a self-centered person, I will definitely put this I regard the opportunity as a kind of fate... However, I am quite clear-headed when it comes to relationships, because when I first met Sister Ran and Zuo Xiaowei, it was also from these trivial things. This may be regarded as fate, but they are just friends. Fate, but not the fate of being lovers... so..."

At this point, I stopped, and after taking a deep breath of cigarette, I continued: "So, I like you, but I don't plan to pursue you... Before I came to find you, Sister Ran called me. , she talked to me on the phone, saying that I didn’t know why, that I didn’t have the spirit to fight, that I didn’t live like a normal person, that I had no home, was addicted to wandering, and was addicted to my own world... …Sister Ran is probably the person in the world who wants me to live well. She will not deliberately belittle me. She says that I am like this, and that I should be this kind of person...I can’t even become a normal person. , and why should I let a female star who is loved by thousands of people be my girlfriend... I am really too afraid of these four words "love but not". I can't turn myself into the next Zhao Xin, let alone the next Zhao Xin. It can’t be your trouble... So, just know that I like you and know that I am an honest person... Frankness is really an advantage, and many men can’t do it.”

I have never said so many words to a person. I am not sure if this is a long nonsense. If it is, then I will be the first person to express my love with nonsense; I am not sure if Lu Xi has the patience. , but sometimes I just suddenly get out of my element and suddenly want to make others my audience, allowing me to speak my mind.

When I turned around to look at Lu Xi, she was lying on her lap, saying nothing and not letting me see her expression.

"Hey, you're not asleep, are you?"

"No."

"Then what do you mean?"

Lu Xi said nothing. "Did you listen to me?"

"Listen."

"Don't you want to say anything to me?"

Silence seems to be Lu Xi's special skill. The more I paid attention to her, the more silent she became... Later, I thought about it from her perspective. I had already said that I would not pursue her, so what else could she say to me... ...But I only realized this after I got home. At this moment, I just want her to speak. I don’t want her to become a ray of cold air in this deserted night. Apart from being cold, I no longer have any sense of existence.

"Sister Lu, I have a headache."

"You won't listen if I ask you to find a hospital that can administer anesthesia."

"You don't even understand what I mean... I just want to tell you that you can't let me get a beating in vain... I want you to make it up to me."

"I'll treat you to a midnight snack."

"No, this is something you can do to anyone. I want a compensation that you won't do to others."

"I can only treat others to a midnight snack at most, but I can treat you to three days in a row."

I shook my head repeatedly: "No, no, you can't use the same way you deal with reporters to deal with me... In the eyes of your friends, I am your legitimate boyfriend. I want a hug from you to make up for it. Trauma, but not too much.”

After I said these words, my heart began to beat wildly, especially when I thought about the temperature and breath of her body.

Is she like other women?Or is she really my only choice? When we hug, she can penetrate deep into my bones and soul, making me willing to bear the risk of not being able to love her?

Lu Xi remained motionless and did not speak.

I regarded this stillness as a kind of acquiescence, so I mustered up the courage, opened my arms, and wanted to hold her tightly in my arms...

Before I even touched her, the wind blew her hair onto my shoulders. There was no feeling on my shoulders, but I seemed to be rising into the sky, standing in the vast smokeless and dustless starry sky, looking at the earth. I only saw a piece of blue, not a garbage dump...

My experience as a bad man tells me that she is different from other women. She is a piece of crystal that has not been stained with dust, transparent and pure.

There is no such woman around me anymore. I closed my eyes as if I was drunk. It even felt unreal, and there was only one breath left between us!

(End of this chapter)