i'm not a bad man

Chapter 140 Must leave a thought
I can't face Ren Ran calmly at this time, nor can I accept her gifts with peace of mind, because I don't deserve anything more from her. When I give up my promise to her, what I should do is repay her. …

But I had nothing and could not compensate her for anything, so this night became more turbulent for me, and I truly realized what it means to influence the whole body.

Originally, I just wanted to have a meal with Lu Xi and her brother and sister-in-law. This was supposed to be a peaceful and beautiful night, but because of such an incredible encounter, everything around me changed.I just don’t have stage fright, I just like to express myself, but that doesn’t mean I’m good at dealing with interpersonal relationships. I was completely lost, faced with one choice after another.

On this night, in order to protect Luan Yu, I seemed to have stabbed everyone around me who could knife, including myself. From this point of view, the price was really too high!
……

"Sister Ran, don't tell me that this bracelet is so expensive. Even if what you give me is a bag of fruit, I can't take it... Just let me calm down and go."

"You don't need to feel guilty about me."

"But I really feel guilty... After leaving Qingdao, the person I feel most sorry for is you, and there are a lot of things I can't let go of in my heart. I'm worried that you will be wronged by that mistress again, and I'm also worried that you can't handle the trivial things on the construction site... …I have been in Qingdao for more than a year, and we have been together almost every day. On the surface, you are no different from us, and we are feasting and feasting every day, but I can really see your heart..." After a slight pause, I lowered my voice The voice said: "On your birthday last year, no one else knew, but I saw you crying for a long time in front of the bathroom mirror. Alcohol can paralyze a person, but the mirror can also make a person sober, because you will see through The mirror shows that I am not living the way I want..."

Ren Ran looked at me with some surprise.

"I also knew that I shouldn't look into the women's bathroom, but I was afraid that you would drink too much and be unable to take care of yourself, so I took a sneak peek... Do you remember? After you came out of the bathroom, you hugged each of us. Others said Sister Ran drank too much and started to lose her temper, but I know that you are not losing your temper, you are too lonely. It is a pity that all the people you hold can only accompany you to have fun, but there is no way to keep it deep in your heart. Give you some warmth, what you need is a home with three meals a day and children to play with... It’s not that you don’t want to have children, you just despair of Lin Sheng’en.”

After saying this, I turned around and looked at Ren Ran. Ren Ran had his eyes closed, leaning on the back of the chair, with tears streaming down his face...

She still tried her best to look calm and said to me: "Don't be so self-righteous. I'm fine... That day, I saw a white hair on my face in the mirror... Women love beauty, and they have white hair." Hair is a sign of aging, and I’m afraid of it, you know?”

I fell into silence, because this time, Ren Ran also chose not to be honest with me, but this lack of honesty was still to make me feel better. She didn't want me to see her pain, but tears can't deceive people. Age can't fool anyone. She is only 31 years old and she has no shortage of money for maintenance. A woman like her will not feel anxious about her appearance until she is at least 40 years old. In other words, she can still be beautiful for at least nine years. , how can a mere white hair change it.

What's more, I stared at her for a long time, but I didn't find any white hair. Her hair was still black and shiny, like a girl.

……

"Smelly brother, give me a hug."

In a daze, Ren Ran opened her arms. I looked at her at a loss, but she looked more awake than ever.

Across the barrier between the two car seats, we hugged each other with great effort, but only just enough. Before we separated, she whispered in my ear: "Live a good life, don't let me worry."

"Ah, you too."

When I said this, Ren Ran had already stuffed the box containing the bracelet into my pocket and said to me: "If you really don't need it, return it to me later. Don't say we don't have a future." The bracelet is my eyes, no matter where you go, I will look at you."

"Why does it sound so scary?" Ren Ran smiled: "In other words, just think of it as my concern for you. Two people who are very important to each other must leave a thought. "

"Then I should leave something for you."

"You have already given it."

"what?"

"Those songs you wrote... I will listen to them when I have free time... I don't know if you are a genius. Obviously those songs only have melodies and no lyrics, but they make me more imaginative. Power... I seem to see myself driving a convertible sports car, driving slowly by the seaside. Everything is brisk. If I have enough vacation, maybe I will wait there for the love I want... I really I yearn for this kind of encounter-style love, which can fill people with vitality and hope."

When saying this, Ren Ran finally smiled, but he also held my pocket tighter, preventing me from returning the pair of bracelets to her.

……

That night, Ren Ran and I probably said these words, and then she left, and I stood alone downstairs. The cold wind blew over, wetting the corners of my eyes, and also blew away the memories that Ren Ran and I had experienced. In the past, because I had decided to leave Qingdao and go to a small town to start a new life, but no matter how cold the wind was, it could not blow away my concern for her. I did care about Ren Ran because she was not my family, but It has become more like family.

……

When I got back to my apartment, I didn't bother to wash up. I just took off my coat and lay down heavily on the bed. I was already very tired, but because I was obsessed with my thoughts, I couldn't find the sleep state for a long time.I can't seem to close my eyes. As soon as I close my eyes, all I can think of is the scene of Luan Yu and Lu Ming walking arm in arm, and the scene of me throwing down the deer and Lu Xi squatting on the ground and watching for a long time...

Lu Xi went to a BJ, and she was afraid that she would be really hurt by me; but I could only do this. It was impossible for me to still interact with Luan Yu as if nothing had happened, even though I knew that she was already Lu Ming's fiancée. An extreme way is to completely cut off contact with her. This is the so-called short-term pain rather than long-term pain.

The truly innocent person is Qiao Jiao. We also have some agreements; she said that after I complete four things for her, she will return the RV to me...

Speaking of Qiao Jiao, this person is quite interesting, and I probably think the same way in her eyes, so while we were talking to each other, I also felt that the other person had slowly walked into my life; no, saying that he had walked in was a bit too gentle, in fact It was a kind of intrusion, especially Qiao Jiao, she really dared to open my door in the middle of the night...

Just as I was thinking this, there was another sound of unlocking the password from outside the door. I was shocked at first, but then calmed down because I already knew who the person outside the door was...

Only Zuo Xiaowei and Qiao Jiao can unlock the code. There are no unanswered questions between Zuo Xiaowei and me, and we have already said goodbye to each other, but between me and Qiao Jiao...

I haven't replied to her message yet. With Qiao Jiao's character, she will never give up.

(End of this chapter)