i'm not a bad man

Chapter 194 The Darkest Experience
Guan Yubo seemed to think that the door in front of Zuo Xiaowei's house was not a place to talk. He and I came to the river that passed through the small town; at this time, the river was almost dry, with only a few trickles running through the weeds. and gravel scattered in the river, flowing in the direction of the highway in the distance...

When we came here, Zuo Xiaowei told me that even though there is no water in the river this season, as long as spring starts and it rains, water will flow from the highest mountains to this river. After layer of filtration, it was very clear and you could see fish and shrimp swimming in the water. She said that when she was a child, whenever she was unhappy, she would stand next to the river and look at the clear river water and everything in the water. When you wake up, you will forget those unhappy things.

……

Guan Yubo and I stood by the guardrails on both sides of the river, each lighting a cigarette, and I kept waiting for him to speak.

He squinted his eyes and took a deep drag on the cigarette, and finally said to me: "Yes, a week before the college entrance examination was about to start, Xiaowei and I booked a room in a hotel. This is not a rumor, it is indeed between us. What happened.”

After receiving Guan Yubo's personal confirmation, my already dead heart seemed to be a little more dead. I nodded to Guan Yubo, and then took another deep breath of cigarette. In the rising smoke, I seemed to have already died. When I saw Zuo Xiaowei the next time I met, she was speechless in the face of irrefutable evidence. At this moment, I was completely convinced that she had deceived me.

Guan Yubo no longer called me "Brother Chao", and he asked me again: "Do you feel that you can't stay in our small town anymore?"

"Yes."

"What about you and Xiaowei, is it over?"

"When we were getting along, she was not willing to be honest with me at all. If you and I changed places, would you accept such a woman?"

"I can……"

My hand holding the cigarette hovered in the air, looking at Guan Yubo in surprise.

"Since you are so disappointed in this relationship, you will definitely not continue it, so I have no need to help Xiaowei hide it..." Guan Yubo took a deep breath of cigarette and continued under my gaze. : "That night, we checked into a hotel room, but we didn't do anything. I just stayed in the room with her all night."

"Is it possible? She didn't have a relationship in high school, she didn't have a relationship in college, and she never had a relationship after entering the society. Even when she went out to have a room with you, the two of them treated each other with respect. So who did she give her first time to? "

I could clearly see that the corners of Guan Yubo's mouth were trembling, and his expression was extremely cold. After a long time, he said to me: "That night, she was sexually assaulted."

"Sexual assault"?
This word that I only heard in the news flashed through my mind, and then my whole person fell into a petrified state and lost the ability to guess. I could only wait for Guan Yubo to tell me bit by bit. listen.

"That night, she received a call from her chemistry teacher, saying that before the college entrance examination, she would explain a few key points that she might get in the exam; she is a very motivated girl, so She would not let go of such an opportunity, that is, she was sexually assaulted in that beast's home... At that time, she was just a senior girl in high school, and she didn't know how to deal with this matter... She trembled Called me..." At this point, Guan Yubo took a heavy drag on his cigarette and added: "I will never forget the scene when I saw her. Her eyes seemed to have suddenly lost light, and her trouser legs Stained with blood, she stood numbly by the river, the river at our feet... She really wanted to see me, but she seemed to be afraid of seeing me... So her first reaction was not to seek comfort, she jumped as soon as she took a step Into the river..." As she spoke, Guan Yubo raised her hand and pointed to the other bank, telling me that was where she jumped.

"That year, we had a severe drought here. There wasn't much water in the river. If there was normal water, I couldn't save her... I took her to the hotel and asked her to change into clean clothes. She was so Then he told me the truth..."

"Did you call the police?"

"If the police had been called at that time, it would not have been a secret, and everyone in the small town would have known that she had been sexually assaulted."

"You didn't ask her to call the police?"

Guan Yubo nodded, and then after a period of silence, he said: "She is a person who aspires to be a singer. She cannot have such a stain on her body."

At this moment, I also fell into a deep silence, and all the things that once made me doubtful had reasonable explanations because of this cruel reality.

Having had a dark experience, Zuo Xiaowei must have been afraid of men, so even though she was naturally beautiful, she still refused all pursuits at the age when she was most suitable for falling in love. This showed when she sang in the bar. The most obvious thing is that there were really too many men pursuing her at that time, and there were many financial sponsors among them, but she was always indifferent... Also, when we had a relationship, we were about to blend in. At that moment, she was so resistant and frightened that I almost thought it was her first time.

She no longer wants to go to BJ or have any form of cooperation with Chen Linqi. It is also because of this; and because of her extremely strong possessiveness, she has no way to quickly lose the person she wants to be with after reopening her world. …

When I put myself into Zuo Xiaowei's world and looked at our relationship, it turned out to be so heartbreaking!
At this time, Guan Yubo said to me again: "Before she decided to go back to the small town, we talked on the phone... She told me with a smile that she seemed to have finally come out of that shadow, and she wanted to have a good time with you. Live in a small town and build your own family. When you have children, she should never think of that incident again... I don't know what happened between you. You have to be entangled with me. Her first time, I only know that after she regarded you as the beginning of a new life, she really didn't have the courage to talk about that experience with you... I also know that she really loves you, for you. , she gave up the idea of ​​being a singer and just wanted to live an ordinary and stable life with you here, just like most people's lives."

Looking at the river that was almost drying up, for the first time in my life I had the urge to cry because of Zuo Xiaowei...

Last night, she called me more than 100 times and frantically searched for me in more than 1000 inns and hotels in the small town. It was freezing outside and there were only a few people. She was the only one wearing a thin coat and running around in the streets. What kind of mood would she feel on the streets?
I'm afraid it's a hundred times, ten thousand times more desperate than me!
I really didn’t know about her experience. If I knew, I would never use such cruel cold violence to kill her or hurt her. I just fell into deep self-blame. After a long time, I spoke. Xiang Guan Yubo asked: "Where is the scumbag who sexually assaulted her?"

Guan Yubo let out a heavy breath and replied: "Evil will be punished. That scumbag was hit by a car and died the year before last...otherwise, Xiaowei would not be willing to go back to live in a small town."

(End of this chapter)