i'm not a bad man

Chapter 331 Confronting your inner demons
I have seen Qiao Jiao clearly in front of me in this mirror room, but this transparency does not give me a boring feeling. Instead, I can see her turbulent heart. Our loneliness is so similar. We both lost a complete family; the only difference is that I left on my own initiative, while she was completely passive, so her loneliness should be deeper than mine, not to mention that this happened when she was in junior high school. At that time, the mind was not fully mature, and the ability to endure pain was certainly weaker than that of adults, so this mirror house was created.

In a sense, this mirror house is a product of pain. The meaning of its existence is equivalent to the two years when I wandered around the country. I wanted to let the pain melt in nature, and she wanted to let the pain melt away. I am stronger...

Perhaps, only people who are truly in extreme pain will do these things that others cannot understand. I understand this feeling, and so does Qiao Jiao.

……

Sighing out the heavy air accumulated in my chest, I subconsciously looked around the mirror room again, and found that I was still frowning, with a painful expression...

At this time, Qiao Jiao, who was sitting side by side with me, said to me again: "Luan Yu left this world in this way. Of course you should be sad, but your sadness or the pain you think you can't bear can't change her." The fact that you are dead; and you know very well in your heart that Luan Yu hopes that you can live a good life. What is a good life?... You should let go of those regrets that are impossible to recover, and then face your future life... If I am you, I will let the pain end here, and then think about Luan Yu's unfulfilled wishes or people she cares about... Don't forget that her parents are still in this world... ...You took their daughter away for two whole years. In Luan Yu's heart, she always wanted to have a family with you...So, I'm afraid she has fantasized more than once about the scene where you meet her parents. Her parents are discussing marriage, so in Luan Yu's mind, you have been her parents' son-in-law for a long time... But the fact is that you have never even seen them in person. Now that Luan Yu is gone, her father She’s still seriously ill, so you can imagine how her mother feels… So, shouldn’t you go and see them?”

"I……"

I looked up at Qiao Jiao, unable to speak for a long time.

Qiao Jiao didn't rush me, she just waited quietly, waiting for my statement.

"I don't have the face to see them, and I don't dare to see them."

"I'll go with you. Let's book a flight to Kunming now before it's too late."

After saying that, Qiao Jiao took out her mobile phone from her bag, and then opened the booking software. After checking it, she said: "You have time, there is a flight to Kunming at 12:[-] at the latest... You Give me your ID number and I’ll book a flight right away.”

I didn't speak, I just stared at myself in the mirror, and I saw my cowardice. The reason why I was cowardly was because I knew how sorry I was for Luan Yu; in my memory, during those days when we were wandering, I never I have never thought about marrying her, let alone giving her a family... If her parents knew that she had been with a man like me, they would be very disappointed and feel sorry for their daughter.

After staring at myself in the mirror for a long time, I suddenly hated my own cowardice. Rather than being cowardly, shouldn't I do something for them?Once Luan Yu left, they became two old people with no one to rely on.

Only then did I feel that I had found a sense of clarity amidst the pain and cowardice, so I hurriedly reported my ID number to Qiao Jiao. Qiao Jiao immediately bought the tickets for the two of us and then called a taxi. Book a car to pick us up.

It is undeniable that Qiao Jiao's mirror house really has a very special power. It will make you see your own unbearability, and then generate the motivation to change. If she hadn't brought me here and given me guidance, I'm afraid I won't have the idea of ​​visiting Luan Yu's parents for a long time, because Luan Yu didn't mention this matter in his final letter and last words.

Maybe she didn't want her parents to cause me trouble; or maybe, in her heart, I wasn't a person worth trusting.I can’t explain this clearly, but she really didn’t mention her parents. She just talked about the godfather and godmother I met in Hunan.

……

When we arrived in Kunming, it was already late at night, so I didn’t bother. Qiao Jiao and I found a hotel near the airport and stayed there. I was the one who took Luan Yu away from Kunming. Four years later, I came here again. When I arrived in this city, I couldn't help but be filled with emotions. This made it impossible for me to fall asleep. All I could think about was the first time I saw Luan Yu at the gate of the university...

A person of flesh and blood, who could speak, laugh, and cry, was turned into a pile of dust and buried in a cemetery that I don't know yet. The impact on my heart cannot be expressed in words. Therefore, when my emotions could not be released, I had insomnia.

While I was suffering from insomnia, I picked up the photo I took with Luan Yu in Lanzhou countless times and looked at it again and again...

The more I looked at it, the sadder I became, and then I couldn't help but shed tears.

It wasn't until dawn was approaching that I fell into a deep sleep. However, I only slept for a moment before I was awakened by the roar of the plane again, and then I lost sleep completely.

Not long after, Qiao Jiao knocked on my door and said she would take me to the cemetery to see Luan Yu.

After pondering for a while, I shook my head and said to Qiao Jiao: "I won't go... She confessed before she left that I couldn't go see her until I got over the pain of her leaving; or, I couldn't go with her. My parents are reunited and I can go tell her the good news."

Qiao Jiao stared at me for a long time and replied: "If you listened to her like this when you were together... maybe, she would become a happy woman, even if dying young is a fate she cannot escape. But at least it can be defined as a happy woman..."

"Yes, if I am willing to listen to her when we are together, she will be a happy woman, because she and I never want much. She just wants a family, even if it is in an ordinary small county. also."

"So, in the future, never do things that you will regret later... You must learn to cherish everyone around you who treats you sincerely... You know, even Zuo Xiaowei, I don't hate her that much... ...Because I know that, like Luan Yu, she is a woman who has loved you with all her heart... By the way, you must not be in the mood to pay attention to Zuo Xiaowei's new album recently. I paid attention to it and saw that her album was officially released. One day, sales exceeded 70. The reason why it was so much higher than the pre-sale was because the album's reputation was surprisingly good. Fans felt that it had been a long time since they had seen someone with such strong creative ability in the Chinese music scene. She is a female singer, so her enthusiasm for paying is very high... Moreover, the sales volume of 70 is considered one of the best results in the Chinese music industry in recent years."

I nodded and said nothing more. (Follow the author's Weixin public account: ***, reply "B&B" to view the prototype of Tank Inn B&B. Reply "Lu Xi" and "Qiao Jiao" to view character pictures! You can also view the latest chapters)
At this time, Qiao Jiao said with great emotion: "Whether you like it or not, everything around you is changing in an orderly manner... Zuo Xiaowei finally became a female singer, Guan Yubo and Chang The competition between Tianming has also entered a fierce state... But when it comes to changes, the most changes have happened to you... You are no longer the Korean Chao I knew before... From now on, I really have to be convinced. I have to call you Brother Chao...because Brother Chao now is really ruthless and awesome...but being a ruthless and awesome person is not so easy to do, because it means you are burdened with more things. Responsibility... So, don't run away from anything... I have already contacted Luan Yu's parents, let's go, go see them, and then face your inner demons."

(End of this chapter)