i'm not a bad man

Chapter 427 Alive
After lunch, more people came to hang out on the street. Most of them were in groups of four or five. Some were indulged in street games, some were sitting in milk tea shops or coffee shops drinking, and some children were hiding in the dark. There are firecrackers everywhere; in short, this street makes me feel the flavor of the New Year. Although it is not as prosperous as the city center, it is more market-oriented precisely because it is far away from supervision...

I answered Zhao Yingrou's call in this festive and lively atmosphere. I was in a good mood, so I took the initiative to say "Happy New Year" to her. However, Zhao Yingrou, who had always been lively and talkative, fell into a rare depression. , she did not respond to my blessing, but said to me in a heavy-sounding tone: "I am in the hospital now."

Although I knew she was a doctor, when I heard the word hospital, my nerves seemed to be stabbed by something, and then I felt a strong sense of discomfort. This was after Luan Yu passed away. , left a shadow on me, I was afraid of everything related to the hospital!
"Ok?"

"A patient just passed away. He was only 29 years old."

My heart sank, but I still had doubts in my heart, because Zhao Yingrou works in the oncology department, where cancer patients from all over the country gather. As a doctor, she has to face such cases and life and death every day. This is her job. Partly, she is not that fragile. The reason why she called me is probably because there is something special about this patient...

I waited for her to continue, but after a long silence, she spoke to me again: "This patient left behind a child, only five years old this year, a little boy... This boy has no relatives... The boy's mother committed suicide due to postpartum depression when he was two years old. The boy's father died today. He had advanced lung cancer and had been treated in our hospital for three months..."

Zhao Yingrou's voice was choked with sobs, and because I was in a depressed mood, I asked after a moment: "Where are the boy's grandparents?"

"The boy's grandmother has severe mental illness and does not have any civil capacity. The boy's grandfather...the boy's grandfather died unexpectedly due to a construction site accident a few years ago."

Zhao Yingrou's words suddenly reminded me of a book I read after I dropped out of college, called "Alive". I thought it was a tragedy that only happened under certain historical circumstances, but I didn't expect that it would still happen again in modern society. , and it appeared next to me in a bloody manner. This was not news, nor did it come from a short video release. This existed in Zhao Yingrou’s mouth, and was the most cruel and true face of suffering.

Although I sympathized, I didn't know how to express it; at this time, Zhao Yingrou whispered to me again: "We just communicated with the police at the police station, and the police investigated this child's life experience... His grandfather died at your house. Regarding the construction site accident that happened a few years ago... That's why I made this call to you... Do you want to come over and see this child? "

At this moment, my blood seemed to have stagnated. Until now, when I recall the construction site accident, I will unconsciously assume the identity of the victim. I thought I was miserable enough, but I didn’t expect that there is another person in this world. The little boy he had never met became a victim of the accident in an even more unfortunate manner; if his grandfather had not died in the construction site accident, he would have at least had one relative in the world who could support him.

The pain of feeling the same pain made me completely suffocated, so suffocated that I lost the ability to speak and turned pale.

Zhao Yingrou asked again: "Do you want to come over and see this child?..."

Then I composed myself and replied: "Go, I'll go there now."

……

I put down the phone and breathed heavily. Lu Xi next to me noticed something strange about me, and she looked at me with some worry. It took me a long time to calm down, and then I told her the content of the call I just had with Zhao Yingrou.

Lu Xi also fell into silence. I lit a cigarette, took a deep breath, and said to her in an extremely depressed tone: "Since we met, you have followed me to see so much suffering in the world... I Am I an ominous person? Why do things like this always happen around me?"

"Don't think so. The reason why you see so much suffering in the world is because you pay attention to these things, and you have been to so many places and met so many people... In fact, this is a matter of probability. It depends on Your experience and mentality... If you go to Wenchuan, you should still see a lot of suffering left behind by the earthquake... To say that Zhao Yingrou should have seen more of these human sufferings than you, you all You put yourself in that environment...So, you really don’t have to compete with yourself, let alone question yourself like this. If you are not a kind person, who would deliberately pay attention to this?"

I looked at Lu Xi and felt a little better. Lu Xi gave me another comforting smile and said, "Let's go and see the child. Don't be sad anymore. For a child whose life has been choked by bad luck, For me, what he needs most may not be your empathy, but the courage to face suffering with a smile... So, you have to give him hope of living and let him regard you as a role model." There was a pause. , Lu Xi added: "The child is already five years old, he should understand many things..." I finally nodded, and finally, with Lu Xi's reminder, I knew what kind of mentality I should have when meeting the child.

……

Lu Xi and I came to the hospital together, and then went downstairs to where Zhao Yingrou's department was. Zhao Yingrou was accompanying the child. They were sitting on the steps leading to the building. The child was holding a schoolbag tightly, not knowing what was inside. Whether it was filled with books or daily necessities; Zhao Yingrou bought him a hamburger, but he didn't eat a bite.

Lu Xi and I came to Zhao Yingrou's side and took a closer look at the child. The child looked very thin, with a sickly look on his face caused by long-term malnutrition. His hair was also messy. It had obviously been a long time. Taken care of.

If the suffering of the world can be embodied, that is what this child appears at this moment.

Lu Xi was right, he already understood many things, so there were still tears on his face.

……

The moment she saw me, Zhao Yingrou pulled the child up and said to Lu Xi and me: "The child's name is Zhao Chaohuan, and his nickname is Chaochao..."

I squatted down, held his arms, then forced a smile, and called his name, but thinking of his life experience and my connection with him, I really couldn't hold it in any longer and immediately lowered my head. …

I tried my best not to choke up, and then said to him: "Chaochao, my name is Han Chao... Some people also call me Chaochao, so we are quite destined, I just have two or three points more water than you... "

Chaochao did not recognize this fate that I forcibly pulled into, so he did not respond to me.

I tried my best to calm down my emotions, and then motioned Zhao Yingrou to go aside to talk. After completely avoiding Chao Chao, I asked her: "How will the police arrange this child?"

"It is said that the child will be sent back to the place of household registration... there is a high probability that the village committee there will arrange for the child to live in a welfare institution."

"What if... what if I am willing to adopt?" (Weixin searches my official account: ***, and you can know in advance the follow-up of Han Chao and Lu Xi!)
Zhao Yingrou looked at me and hesitated to speak.

"You called me and asked me to come and see this child... Isn't that the reason for that?"

After another period of hesitation, Zhao Yingrou finally replied: "If you really plan to adopt this child, then let's raise him together... As long as you stay in Tianjin and live in Tianjin in the future, we also have the conditions to adopt him together. You usually take care of him, On weekends or when I take a break from work, I will take care of him... As for living expenses, we can each take half of it, so the pressure on you will be much less."

(End of this chapter)