i'm not a bad man

Chapter 428 Love is fiery red

I feel that what Zhao Yingrou gave me was not a very pure proposal, because it would cost me staying in Tianjin. Tianjin is of course a very important city in my life for me, but for now, I want to stay in Tianjin. The conditions for life are not mature. Although I have found my parents and seem to have a reason to live in Tianjin, I still have unfinished business in a small town, so I cannot escape unscathed.

Based on this trade-off, after a period of silence, I shook my head and said to Zhao Yingrou: "It is impossible for me to go back to Tianjin to live for the time being. If I want to adopt Chaochao, I will let him live with me in a small town..." After a pause, I added: "I can't be carried away by my sympathy. I calm down and think about it. I actually don't have the qualifications for adoption. Chaochao is already five years old, which is the age to go to school and receive education. But I have been doing this recently. He must have lived a life of no fixed abode for a few years, and I couldn’t provide him with a stable schooling environment...and..."

"What else are you having trouble with?"

I shook my head. After all, I didn’t say anything about the complicated situation in the small town. I was afraid that these words would reach the ears of my parents and make them worried. As long as I understood it in my heart, it would be fine for me now. On balance, it is not suitable to adopt a child, because I really live a life of no fixed place and accompanied by fear.

Unless everything in the small town has been settled and I know where I want to live; but in fact I am very confused, so I have agreed with Qiao Jiao on so many places, but none of them have come true. Let Qiao Jiao go to live abroad.

Yes, Qiao Jiao's departure this time can be characterized as going to live abroad, because for a hundred days, I feel depressed every time I think about it.

I finally spoke to Zhao Yingrou again: "If you were asked to adopt Chao Chao alone, would you be willing?"

"I am an unmarried woman who has adopted a five-year-old child. Not to mention public opinion, what do you want me to explain to my parents?..." After a short pause, Zhao Yingrou said again: "I originally What I want is that you, as the main body of the adoption, will help you share half of the parenting responsibilities..."

"It's an unrealistic idea... forget it, there's no need to be too aggressive when we don't have the ability to do this... just let the police send him back to his place of residence and let the local government make arrangements."

"But you just said clearly that you have the intention to adopt him!"

"I said, it was because I was carried away by compassion... I can't live with him, and neither can you."

Seeing that I gave up, Zhao Yingrou suddenly lost half of her energy. She just looked at Chao Chao in the distance. After a long time, she finally nodded to me, indicating that she also gave up her intention to adopt.

……

After experiencing an ineffective communication, when I looked at Chao Chao again, my mentality suddenly changed a lot. I felt inexplicably uncomfortable and thought about his life after being sent to the orphanage. Would he become very withdrawn?Will he feel that there is no one else in the world who cares about him?Do you secretly think of your father and mother in the dead of night?

After a while of silence, I opened my mouth and said to Zhao Yingrou: "I don't plan to leave in the next few days. Can you communicate with the police and let me lead the pilgrims for a few days?"

"Okay, I'll contact them."

As a doctor, Zhao Yingrou still has prestige, so the police agreed to let me live with Chaochao for a few days; because Chaochao's father no longer had any relatives with civil capacity, there was no funeral and he was cremated on the spot...

In the end, all he left behind was more than 8 yuan reimbursed by medical insurance; I heard that the cost of his treatment came from the compensation my family paid after Chaochao's grandfather died in the construction site accident. After his life, there was only more than 8 yuan of this money left, but this cannot be defined as an inheritance, because this more than 8 yuan was also used to repay Chaochao for the money he had with others after his father was diagnosed with terminal lung cancer. The debt owed.

Losing people and money is a very cruel word, but when it is applied to a five-year-old child, it becomes even more cruel!
……

In the afternoon, Lu Xi and I took Chaochao for a haircut, and then bought him some toys that boys like; we sat at the beach, and Chaochao played alone on the beach...

Until now, Lu Xi and I are not sure whether he can understand what death means. His mood does not seem to be greatly affected. He should eat and play, but he is unwilling to talk too much to us. If there are more.

Looking at Chaochao's weak figure that was shaken by the sea breeze, Lu Xi finally spoke first. She said to me, who was smoking, "Do you really want to watch him being sent to an orphanage?"

I suppressed the helplessness in my heart and replied: "Yes, Zhao Yingrou and I have made it very clear... I can't be dazzled by sympathy. I don't have the conditions for adoption at all... Maybe, after being sent to the orphanage, , there will be a more suitable family to adopt him."

"He is already five years old and has memories... He is no longer the first choice for families who need adoption... This is actually quite cruel. Even in the orphanage, he is just a step back from others. The second choice... Since it is the second best, I'm afraid I won't meet a good family!" I looked at Lu Xi, full of doubts in my heart, is she also encouraging me to adopt this child?

Qiao Jiao has told me more than once that she is a woman who is more rational than emotional, but her thoughts at the moment do not seem so rational, because she should know better than Zhao Yingrou how difficult it is for me to adopt this child.

At this time, Lu Xi said to me again: "I have never been a person who likes to talk casually, so I really have thoughts of quitting the entertainment industry... In the future, I will have a lot of free time. In fact, I don’t even know how to spend my free time... If I have a child with me, this won’t seem to be a worry... I brought him to BJ Life, where there are the best educational resources, maybe You can really train him into a person who contributes to society..."

My first reaction was to object, so I replied to her firmly: "No, your status is too special. Suddenly there is a child around you, and there will definitely be a lot of negative public opinions against you."

"It seems that you didn't listen to a word of what I said... I have already said that I want to quit the entertainment industry. Now that I have quit the entertainment industry, why do I still care about those public opinions?"

"That won't work. Even if you make up your mind to be an ordinary person, ordinary people will still have ordinary people's worries and constraints... After all, you are not married, and having a child by your side will definitely have an impact on you... …Furthermore, raising a child is not a pet. Not only do you want him to live, but you also bear the responsibility of shaping his outlook on life. He is already a five-year-old child and is no longer a blank piece of paper. Do you really have the confidence to raise him? Has he been raised to be what you expected?" After a short pause, I said in a lower voice: "Don't forget, you are only a child in his early twenties!"

"Those worldly thoughts are what you care about, not me... Even if I have a child, I don't think I will be unable to get married."

I looked at Lu Xi, and her firmness and confidence made me suddenly understand why I felt such a strong emotion when I saw her in the advertising video...

What is special about her is not the freedom and agility she showed in the promotional video. Her soul is freer and transcends worldly rules and constraints. What finally appears is the confident and powerful she is in front of her...

Therefore, the feeling of excitement at the beginning was not my illusion. Such a woman is worthy of any man being fascinated by her!
……

Just when I was in a daze, Chao Chao, who had been playing on the beach, suddenly came to me and Lu Xi. He stretched out his hand to Lu Xi. There was a conch in his hand, and he said, "Come here." In his first words after going to the beach, he said to Lu Xi: "For you..."

Lu Xi smiled, then took it from his hand and asked, "Why did you give me a conch?"

"Because you also gave me a lot of gifts."

Lu Xi looked at me, and I looked at her; at this moment, we may have the same idea. Although this is not a very sensational sentence, even a bit simple, we can still see the quality of this child from this sentence, At least, he has the gene of repaying kindness in his bones. (Search and follow the author’s personal satellite account: *** to view the latest chapters.)
Lu Xi nodded, and then said to him: "Let me ask you a question, have you been to BJ?"

"I've been there before. My dad took me to BJ last year... He took me to listen to cross talk and also took me to climb Xiangshan Mountain."

"So do you like BJ?"

"I like it...and I don't like it either."

"Why do you like it and dislike it at the same time?...Are you a very conflicted little boy, Chaochao?"

After a while of silence, Chaochao finally spoke to Lu Xi and said: "My dad will never take me to a BJ again... But he told me that when the red leaves in Xiangshan turn red, the two reddest leaves will be his and his. Mom...he asked me to remember to go to Xiangshan to find them...but can people really turn into leaves?"

Lu Xi looked at me, not knowing how to answer, and I didn't know how to answer either, so he simply asked: "Why are the two reddest pieces dad and mom?"

"My dad said that love is red. Because they love me, the two reddest people are him and my mother."

(End of this chapter)