i'm not a bad man

Chapter 432 Take me away

I always felt that the scene in front of me seemed familiar. It was also on such a street where people were coming and going. The lights were flickering and blurry. We didn't say a word, we just hugged tightly. It was a bit like an illusion, but it also felt like a real experience.

In a daze, I gradually lost my sense of time, and my heart was sometimes full and sometimes extremely empty. It wasn't until Lu Xi left my body and ended the hug that I came back to my senses.

I looked at Lu Xi and she looked at me. Her expression told me that she was indeed in a bad mood.

I motioned to Chao Chao to get back into the car first. After I had room to talk, I finally asked Lu Xi, "What happened?"

Lu Xi seemed to be trying very hard to control her emotions, but her tone was still low. She asked me: "Can you tell me what it feels like if a person's life is controlled by others? ?”

I thought for a moment and replied: "It's probably like animals in a zoo. They have no freedom and no independent opinions. Even when to eat is set by others..."

"What is the meaning of this way of existence?"

"Of course it is to satisfy other people's selfish desires, just like those animals, people imprison them, and the ultimate purpose must be to sell tickets for profit..."

"So, they don't care about how these animals feel at all. They only care about how much profit they can make from it." After a pause, Lu Xi said to me in a lower voice: "Today's dinner, I and Yang Yiming , Sister Minhong, and my uncle's family, we ate together... My uncle deliberately brought me and Yang Yiming together... He talked to me a lot, and even represented my parents' position... I never thought My life will be arranged and controlled by others... and it is such a strong control... Now everyone is asking Yang Yiming and I to get married as soon as possible... I feel very depressed. If I don't accept these demands, I will be They isolate…and lose family ties and friendships.”

After saying this, Lu Xi shifted her gaze and stopped looking at me. It seemed that such a thing was a pain and a shame to her.

I can understand her mood better than anyone else. This is the same as my parents forcing me. In fact, my sense of shame is stronger. At least, Lu Xi and Yang Yiming are two people who are well matched, and Yang Yiming also wants to marry. Lu Xi’s thoughts, but back then, I was forced to fawn over a woman who didn’t like me at all. I was verbally ridiculed by her, and mentally shocked...

This was the fundamental reason for my collapse. I was always rejected and disgusted by others, and Lu Xi was at least the favored one in this forced relationship.

This feeling of empathy is actually not good; so, after taking a long breath, I replied: "When other people's will is too strong, they will either surrender or extreme resistance after hitting rock bottom... At the beginning , I chose the latter, I did lose family ties and all social relationships."

"Then do you regret your choice?"

I fell into silence. To this day, I can't tell whether I regret it or have no regrets; because after I made a desperate choice, I lost a lot and gained a lot because of it.

I am a person who pursues clarity in everything, but at this moment I fell into confusion. I finally shook my head towards Lu Xi, indicating that I didn’t know and had no way to weigh the gains and losses.At this time, Lu Xi responded to my confusion with a longing look. She first looked at Chao Chao sitting in the car, and then said to me: "Han Erjin, I don't want to give in... you Take me with you, and Chao Chao, and let’s live together in a strange place.”

I thought again of the time when I and Lu Xi lived in that small village in Hunan, and I couldn't help but feel a throbbing in my heart. But despite the throbbing, I was also sober, and I knew what it meant to escape...

I finally opened my mouth to Lu Xi, who was waiting for my answer, and said: "Some places may be strange to you... But to the people in that place, you will not feel strange to you... You are different from others. Your status is different. If they deliberately want to find you, it will be the same wherever you go." After a pause, I said in a deeper voice: "I also have my concerns. After experiencing that period of wandering life, I found that Although people can escape their inner cowardice and disgust, there is no way to escape the sense of responsibility given by life. This sense of responsibility will make you mature and become scrupulous... You have also seen the living environment of my parents. They live in a shanty town and lead a dark life. I can't leave them behind and just leave. I want to make money, make a lot of money, and then take them out of that shanty town; therefore, I can't give up the small town. career... Someone once advised me to give up my career in a small town, but I didn't agree. But at that time, it was just for the value of life; now I can't give up, because in addition to the value of life, I also have a burden on me. A sense of responsibility, I want social status, I want wealth, I want to be strong, I want to gain respect from the heart of others... These are not things that escape can bring me. One day, I really get what I want. If you want to be strong, maybe the problem we are facing now is not a problem at all... At least, I will stand on the same level as Yang Yiming and talk to your family."

"You are right, but even if you are rich and have the social status you want, you still can't reach his height... This kind of height cannot be achieved by hard work; it is a kind of The difference in class... your upper limit is, at most, being recognized by others as an outstanding entrepreneur or a wealthy person, but he... he doesn't have to do anything, just stand there and he is like a mountain."

Lu Xi's words made me feel suffocated, and I felt a sense of oppression in the suffocation. The pressure brought by this sense of oppression was far more than that of Guan Yubo. Even though Guan Yubo's methods were vicious, I knew His bottom line is that he is just a rich second generation living in a small town, while Yang Yiming is an abyss that no one can look directly into. Because he cannot look directly into it, no one knows what is hidden in the abyss...

I set my sights on Lu Xi again, feeling sad and hopeless in my heart; I had never thought that the woman in front of me, so agile and free in the advertising video, who shocked my soul, could actually be imprisoned by the world. one day.

It seems that there is a tight hoop on each of our heads!

Thinking of this tight hoop, my heart became inexplicably restless, and I was extremely eager to break free. (Han Chao and Lu Xi are getting married? Search and follow the author’s personal satellite number: *** to view the latest chapters.)
……

Under the dim street light, I lit another cigarette that Chaochao bought me, squinting and puffing...

I asked myself over and over in my mind: Can I really drop everything and take Lu Xi to live in a strange place?
If I didn't have the courage to let go of everything, where would the Luxi in front of me go?

Not getting the answer, I suddenly remembered why this scene felt so familiar; because from the moment Yang Yiming appeared, I had imagined this scene in my mind, and my subconscious told me more than once that this was not A simple man, his appearance is likely to be a great destruction; now, it is just the beginning of destruction.

It was at this moment that I suddenly thought of Ren Ran and Qiao Jiao who were far away abroad.

foreign?

Is this a way out for Lu Xi?

(End of this chapter)