i'm not a bad man

Chapter 494 A deer is safe

I just sat there silently and listened to Ren Ran and Wu Luoge chatting about my past self, and gradually I began to feel that it didn’t matter anymore. This indifferent mentality reduced my sense of responsibility and morality, but inexplicably gave me a feeling that I had never experienced before. With a relaxed mentality, I no longer struggle with whether I am doing the right thing or not, and if I am not doing the right thing, how much harm I have caused to others; now I care more about my inner feelings and am strong-willed. It is precisely because of this that I Only then did I get the pleasure of having everything under control, and I never missed it.

I can't expect them to understand me now. The prerequisite for understanding is to have the same feelings. How can my experiences and feelings in the past six months be easily understood by others?

I called the waiter, returned the dozen beers I had just ordered, told Ren Ran and Wu Luoge to drink less, and then returned to the room before them.

……

This hotel was booked by Wu Luoge, so the room configuration is very luxurious. There is even a piano in the living room. I thought it was a decoration, but when I pressed the keys, it turned out to be a real piano.

Because I was caught in the rain outside, my fingers were a little numb from the cold, so I moved my fingers on the piano keys.

Chao Chao, who was playing with his tablet computer in the room, heard the sound of the piano and asked me, "Uncle Chao, can you also play the piano?"

"Yes, there is no musical instrument that Uncle Chao doesn't know how to play." After a pause, I also asked him: "Are you planning to sleep with me again today?"

"correct."

"Why do you like sleeping with me so much?"

"Because the two of us are one person."

I was stunned for a long time, then smiled and replied: "It hurts my heart, Chao Chao!"

Maybe he didn't know what it meant, so he didn't pick up my tune. Instead, he focused on the piano and said to me, "Uncle Chao, can you play the piano and sing at the same time?"

"What's so difficult about that."

"Then sing me a song."

"Okay, what song do you want to listen to?... It's best not to be a children's song."

"Then just sing whatever you like."

I sat down by the piano, subconsciously took a deep breath, and felt my emotional needs. I was indeed isolated by the people around me. This isolation would certainly make me feel lonely and confused. I can endure it, but It doesn't mean that I can really be calm, or that I have completely lost my inner needs.

In the end, I sang a song "Need Someone to Accompany" for Chaochao. As a young child, he would most likely not be able to understand it. Therefore, in front of him, I could let go of my tense emotions and look back at the person I once was. The Korean trend that is missed by everyone.

"Open the window to let the loneliness breathe. This room is so airtight; the cheers are still floating in the air, as gorgeous as no one; I gradually lose consciousness, treating it as a kind of self-escape. You fly to the edge of the sky, and I also I don’t know where it will end up; I need dreams, direction, tears, and even more, someone to light up the darkness of the sky. I am powerless, unable to resist, and have no way to retreat. In this silent night, I am now ,need companion……"

My state of mind has changed, so I don’t always release my emotions by singing at the top of my lungs when I sing somewhere that resonates. I have always been calm, and then I think about the past in my singing. That Korean trend.

The Han Chao of the past was really too simple. He just wanted a little freedom in the mortal world. His dream was to have a congenial woman by his side, live a simple life, and simply experience the scenery of life...

But it is precisely because he is too simple that he is so easy to oppress and makes others have no sense of awe. In the end, under the ridicule of others, he was forced to label him as incompetent and cowardly, and finally had to endure the hardship of life and death. pain.

Until I thought of this, my fingers hit the keys hard, ultimately destroying the integrity of the song. My mind was filled with the threatening message Qin Minhong sent me and the words she insulted me, and I became furious. , she not only took advantage of me, but also took advantage of Lu Xi. She completely succeeded. Lu Xi finally left me and returned to the entertainment industry...

It wasn't until I noticed Chao Chao secretly filming me with a tablet from the corner of my eye that I suddenly came back to my senses.

"Chaochao, why are you filming me secretly?" "Tik Tok."

"What's so good about this?"

"My dad said that if there are people or things worth remembering in the future, they must be recorded, because some people will disperse as soon as they walk away."

I looked at Chao Chao, and these words sounded a bit mature, so I believe they came from his father, and this was probably his father's deepest realization before he died. This is indeed the case with people, sometimes they are separated. , sometimes it’s a farewell. In short, many people disperse while walking, so recording it in this way will at least not be forgotten so easily.

In such a chaotic life, I have almost forgotten Luan Yu, because all the records related to her have been deleted from my phone; then, how long will it take for me to forget Qiao Jiao, and how long will it take for me to forget Lu Xi? ?

It's not that I don't want to remember them, what I really don't want to remember is the regrets and the pain that cannot be made up for.

……

I finally closed the piano lid, then changed the subject and said to Chaocha: "Chaochao, do you think Uncle Chao is a good person?"

"Of course he is a good man, a very good man."

"Where is it, tell me."

Chaochao almost didn't think before he replied: "Every time we meet, you buy me toys and take me to eat delicious food..."

"Is this how you judge a good person? ... If I beat you up, am I a bad person?"

"If I make no mistakes and you hit me, you are a bad person. If I make a mistake, you can hit me."

I nodded with deep understanding, and then replied: "You are right, those who have made mistakes should be beaten... If I beat people who have not made mistakes indiscriminately, I will be the bad guy."

However, I never dreamed that such a simple truth was explained to me by the five-year-old boy in front of me, while those adults who knew everything only knew how to miss the Korean trend of the past. No matter what I went through in the middle... So, even if he is such a Korean Chao, he is not really bad. He just picked up weapons to defend himself after being oppressed.

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After washing, I also lay down on the bed. I read the news on my mobile phone, and Chaochao watched cartoons on my tablet. We slept together without disturbing each other. After this state lasted for about half an hour, he suddenly pushed She pushed me and said, "Uncle Chao, look, Aunt Xiaolu liked the video I just posted!"

I looked at Chao Chao, and after a long while, I shifted my gaze and looked at his tablet. He didn’t have many friends on Douyin, so that video only received one like after it was posted for so long, but that was just one like. He said it came from Deer Creek.

I finally said to him: "How do you know this is Aunt Xiaolu's like?"

"Only I know her number, and she is the only one who knows my number. She said that if I run out of money in the future, I will use this number to contact her."

After another period of silence, I opened my mouth and said to Chaochao: "Please enlarge the profile picture for me to see."

Chaochao hurriedly followed the instructions. He clicked on his profile picture and enlarged it...

It should be Lu Xi, because this avatar is very simple, so simple that it only has four words: "One deer is safe."

(End of this chapter)