i'm not a bad man

Chapter 502: Suffer silently

Zuo Xiaowei's tearful look made me feel pain in my heart again, but I couldn't tell whether this pain was just from sympathy or from the guilt deep in my heart; my feelings for Zuo Xiaowei have always been It's not complicated. In my opinion, I didn't take the initiative to provoke her. Everything was done willingly by her. Even if she suffered a lot from me, I can feel guilty, but it doesn't involve responsibility.

I suddenly found that the view I had always insisted on was a bit untenable. I felt that I was also responsible for Zuo Xiaowei, and it seemed difficult to find another woman in the world who would treat Zuo Xiaowei like her. I can even give up my principles.

Based on this mood, I hugged her tighter, and she slowly opened her eyes, and then looked at me extremely intently, as if she was afraid that I would suddenly disappear from her side.

Then I said to her: "If I had known that you would feel so uncomfortable after drinking too much, I wouldn't have encouraged you to have a second drink."

"But there are so many things in life that I don't know in advance, and even if I drink too much, I don't regret it, because some things and some scenes may only happen once in a lifetime."

"Yes, I haven't had such a pleasant conversation with someone for a long time."

Zuo Xiaowei looked at me more intently, and I felt more and more uncomfortable. In order to prevent this discomfort from becoming a problem for me, I raised my wrist and looked at the Rolex watch she bought for me, and said: "At this point, you should be able to buy breakfast at KFC. I'll buy you breakfast. Eat something hot and it will make you feel better."

After saying that, I stood up, but Zuo Xiaowei took this as an excuse for me to leave. She almost subconsciously grabbed the corner of my clothes, harder and harder, and the quality of the piece I was wearing was not The well-thought-out jacket was torn open by her.

I had no choice but to sit back on the edge of the bed. Zuo Xiaowei grabbed my sleeve with her other hand. Her lips were trembling, as if she was holding back something she wanted to say but couldn't say.

"what happened?"

"Han Chao..."

"Well, I'm not leaving."

Zuo Xiaowei shook her head heavily, and then burst into tears. She said to me while crying: "I'm not... I'm not afraid of you leaving... I just don't know whether I should... should tell you... you You know?...We had a child..."

My scalp was numb and then I froze. After a long time, I said to her: "Is what you said true?" "Yes... it's true. That night, after we had sex, I was alone I drove away from the small town... At that time, I already knew that I had at least a half chance of getting pregnant, because counting the days, those days were my ovulation periods... All the way, I was thinking, since I can't get pregnant, Your sincerity, having a child is not a comfort; perhaps, this child can inspire the father's love in your heart. One day, it is not impossible for you to return to us. If you don't come back to me, I will I also accepted it... I felt that I would be able to take good care of this child. At worst, I would go to the bar to sing and run a few more venues every day. Anyway, I was still young and had plenty of energy... Later, I really didn't get my period that month. Only then did I start to feel scared, and began to really think about what a child means to a single woman. I couldn’t even get the child’s household registration, and my parents wouldn’t admit the child, or even do prenatal check-ups, or give birth. When I was young, I had to face it alone... I finally couldn't bear the pressure, so... So, I contacted Guan Yubo. At that time, I didn't want to give up this child, I wanted him to Help me think of a way to successfully give birth to this child, and then have a legal identity recognized by society. I know that this is not a difficult task for Guan Yubo... After he heard about this, He said that he had to meet me no matter what, otherwise he would not help me... I was in Wuhan at the time, and he went there overnight..."

I looked at Zuo Xiaowei and wanted to speak several times, but I couldn't say a word.

Zuo Xiaowei also tried to calm down her emotions. After a long silence, she spoke to me again: "It's different from what I imagined. No matter what he said, he wouldn't let me give birth to this child. He said, I Without the ability to take responsibility for the life of this child, giving birth to this child hastily will only cause endless pain, because no one will marry a woman with a child... The next morning, he took me back I came to the small town and he brought me food at night..."

Although Zuo Xiaowei had tried hard to calm down her emotions, when she said this, her chest was still heaving violently, and then her tears couldn't stop falling: "He mixed the abortion pill in the rice. ...After I finished the meal, he told me... I kept drinking water and inducing vomiting, but it didn't help... I just miscarried... It was at that time that Guan Yubo and I said, he loves me. He has loved me very much since junior high school. He will be responsible for me and will give me the happiest life for a woman... So, you know why I keep coming back again and again. Third, do you want you to leave the small town?... Because I know very well what kind of person he is, and I also know that he really loves me. Therefore, the fact that I have been pregnant with your child is a taboo for him. As long as he is Thinking about it makes me hate the taboo... As long as you are in the small town, as long as you are within his sight, he will definitely take revenge on you... But I can't hate Guan Yubo... because I am like this I owe him so much in my life, I made him embark on a path of no return..."

At this moment, my mind was in chaos, and some scenes that I had forgotten flashed through my mind alternately. I finally remembered that once, I met Zuo Xiaowei in the county hospital. At that time, her complexion was very poor. Based on what she just said, it was very likely that she went to the hospital for a review during that encounter.

I finally spoke and said to her: "Why didn't you tell me about your pregnancy?" Follow my Weixin public account: ***, reply "B&B" to view the prototype of Tank Inn B&B.Reply "Lu Xi" and "Qiao Jiao" to view the character picture!You can also view the latest chapters

"Despair, despair in my heart... So, I don't know how to place my hope on you..." After a pause, Zuo Xiaowei choked up and said to me again: "If the child is not miscarried... maybe wait until the day of giving birth. , I will contact you... But there are some things that would be too unreal to talk about... Fortunately, I didn't tell you, otherwise I would be really shameless... That time, I went to the county hospital for a review , I have seen you and Lu Xi together, she is the woman you have truly loved from the beginning to the end, why should I humiliate myself and bring my children to be humiliated with me?"

Having said this, Zuo Xiaowei finally let go of her hand that was tightly holding my sleeve. She lost her mind facing the window and gradually stopped crying. But while I was in a daze, she shed tears again. …

These were no longer just tears, they were a reflection of her complicated mood.

I finally knew that during the period when we had no contact, her life was not as glamorous as it seemed on the surface. She also had a very bad life, even more miserable than me, because of this person she kept in her heart. The secret seems to be more bitter than mine!

But after all, she is different from me. She is just a simple woman with a little love brain, so she can only bear it silently and endure it silently; but I, on the other hand, am retaliating crazily...

I finally remembered the real purpose of coming to BJ this time.

(End of this chapter)