i'm not a bad man

Chapter 521 The So-Called Promise

I flicked the cigarette ashes off my hand, then looked at Zuo Xiaowei, and then asked her in a very low voice: "Are you still in contact with Guan Yubo?"

Zuo Xiaowei's eyes flickered a little, but in the end she replied to me in a very firm tone: "We have no contact. Since he went abroad, we have completely lost contact."

I didn't question this, just nodded, then raised my hand to look at the Rolex watch Zuo Xiaowei gave me and said, "Let's go to your school and try to see if the braised pork is real." It's as delicious as you said... After this meal, let's go to Qingdao together."

"Then you are going back to the small town, right?"

"Ah."

Zuo Xiaowei turned around and returned to the living room, then dragged the box containing the building blocks to my bedside, and said, "However, half of the car that was promised to be put together in half a day has not been put together yet."

"It was originally invented just to kill time. Now that I have no time to spend time, does it matter whether I put it together well?"

"Important, I think it is very important. To me, it is no longer just a box of building blocks. It has given my life a new meaning... I thought that after putting this car together, we would still be together." Together we built the second and third car... In the end, the whole room was filled with the building blocks we built... You know, in order to realize this fantasy, I got a membership card for this building block brand in the online mall. Tomorrow, it will be New building blocks will be sent..."

"You always put the cart before the horse. As I said, the point of building blocks is to kill time, not to squeeze out time from an already crowded life just for the sake of building blocks...

"You can say that I'm putting the cart before the horse, but what about you...Have you ever noticed that you always let others down after giving them hope? You are a person who never fulfills your promises easily...you still He said that he would take me to Pingtan to see the sea with windmills on the sea."

I smiled helplessly and said: "So, at the end of two people's lives together, there will always be quarrels and calculations... I promised you to go to Pingtan, but I didn't say the specific time. This can also be a reason for me not to fulfill my promise. Rhetoric?"

The way Zuo Xiaowei looked at me became more and more complicated, and at this moment, I finally put out the almost-burned cigarette in my hand, and then looked at Zuo Xiaowei...

At this time, I very much hope that there is someone who will firmly believe that my decision to return to the small town is right. But because of Guan Yubo, Zuo Xiaowei will never become that person. She will only feel trapped between It was very difficult between me and Guan Yubo, so she didn’t want me to return to the small town more than anyone else.

However, BJ’s life can’t keep me, and neither can those building blocks, because I also have a commitment to myself. I want to be the person who changes the history of this small town. When my commitment collides with my commitment to others, I Of course, you should give priority to fulfilling yourself.

Zuo Xiaowei gradually lowered her head and finally said to me: "What I really care about is not your promise... I just know that once you leave BJ and my side this time, you will never come back again... ...It seems that the good times related to you are like quicksand. The harder I try, the harder I can keep them...But I am still as naive as before, thinking that you will stay with me for a long time, even a lifetime."

"Don't talk about a lifetime, don't talk to me about a lifetime... a lifetime is too long!"

"Then let's seize the day... I'll invite you to our school to eat braised pork, and then we go to Qingdao together... As for these building blocks..." At this point, Zuo Xiaowei looked down subconsciously, then her expression hurt, and then Said: "I can always find time to put them together... I want to fill this house with assembled building blocks... You said that when you feel like you can't live anymore, you will come back here to see... Yes Me, you always have to fulfill a promise, right?... If you really come back one day, I will let you look at these building blocks... Every time I build a piece, I will miss you again... This way you will know that you How many times have I missed you when you are not with me."

I looked at Zuo Xiaowei and realized for the first time that missing someone can be quantified, just like the building blocks she said, one piece at a time... But I don’t know how many times I need to miss someone to fill the pile with assembled building blocks. this room.

……

Zuo Xiaowei took advantage of the time when I got up and washed up to clean the house again; during this process, there was a knock on the door. It was someone from the musical instrument store who delivered the music equipment we ordered before. Zuo Xiaowei directed the porters. Place these devices on the balcony with the best view and light.She tried her best, but unfortunately, the equipment seemed to be useless. Originally, I really wanted to stay in BJ for a longer time, but I was more afraid of the long nights and dreams in the small town.

I stood in the living room and stared at the music equipment for a long time. Finally, Zuo Xiaowei said, "I will accompany you, let's sing a song."

"Well, I finally didn't let these things sit idle..." After a short pause, Zuo Xiaowei asked me again: "Sing those songs you wrote?"

"No, sing what you used to sing in the bar..."

"I have sung too many songs in bars. I don't know which one you are talking about?"

"Breath decides."

"Did I...did I sing this song?"

"You have sung this song, that night when you and a bunch of people were harassing me in Qingdao."

After saying that, I sat down at the piano and tried the sound test...

Regarding singing, Zuo Xiaowei and I have an absolute tacit understanding. She immediately found my rhythm and sang along with my accompaniment: "Hey, why are you so bad? I fell in love in just two days. It sounded like true love. I’m saying hello to you, have you fallen in love today, have you dated and dumped me, and said it’s rare to find true love..."

Watching Zuo Xiaowei swaying and singing along with the rhythm, I felt like I was dreaming back to Qingdao. I was dreaming back to that late autumn night when I was still on the edge of depravity. At that time, Lu Xi and Qiao Jiao had not yet appeared in my eyes. In the world...

That was the last decadence of Han Chao, and it was also the last innocence of Han Chao. Thinking of the "Han Chao" who had been killed by my own hands, my mood finally changed. I pressed the keys harder and followed Zuo Xiaowei. Singing...

So, another scene that never happened appeared in my mind. If the person I wandered with back then was Zuo Xiaowei, it would probably be like this now. I would play, she would sing, and we would be together. Her songs spread throughout every city we visited; if it had been her, my journey across the country might not have left the regret that only XJ had not been there.

Speaking of XJ, I remembered another agreement that may never be fulfilled. I had made an agreement with Qiao Jiao and Lu Xi to drive to XJ together in a RV as a threesome.

Not to mention Lu Xi, as soon as Qiao Jiao gets married, this is a promise that will never be fulfilled.

……

Why are there so many regrets between people?Regrets mostly come from promises that cannot be fulfilled; therefore, failure to fulfill promises is not my fault alone, it is generally the case with everyone, and the so-called promises are actually just a whim, and whoever takes it seriously will lose.

(End of this chapter)