Back to modern times, Her Majesty the Queen and I are both laid off

Chapter 129 Is it okay?
Lin Luo really didn't expect that a majestic emperor would look like this when he cried.

I thought it was the kind of silent tears, biting my lips and pretending to be strong; no matter what, it was the kind of sobbing and trembling shoulders.
However, it was lying on its body, whimpering and rhythmically, a bit like a fire truck. Even children don't cry like this.

Lin Luo didn't know how to comfort her, so she could only gently pat Jiang Li's back with her hand. However, with this pat, her grievances seemed to completely explode, and she was whimpering more like a fire truck.

The aloof persona completely collapsed from this moment on, and he became a crybaby fool.

But it is true that her emotions have been tense for too long, not just for a day or two, but for several years or more. To use a more literary term, this wailing girl usually shows others a cold face, but her heart has long been filled with thousands of emotions. Full of holes.

If what happened to her were to happen to anyone, suicide would be normal.

One day, your father called you over and said, "I'm going to kill your mother." What did you think?
You said I would call the police if you do this?
It's useless. Your father's status is too high. He is as high as a god. No one in the world can control him. At this time, all you can do is to persuade. After trying to persuade, your father has not expressed his stance. It is not certain whether to kill him or not. , you go back and wait for notification.

Then you go back and stay awake all night, feeling anxious and suffering from the inner torment all the time. You want to find out more about your father, but you are blocked from seeing him.

You have been suffering in this torturous despair for two months. You feel that after so long, it seems that your father should not kill him. However, just when you relax a little, the bad news comes that your mother is dead.

Emperor Xuanzong of the Qi Dynasty Xiaozhao, no, Jiang Qing, you are not a human being, you are like a living king of hell when you ride on a horse!
Satan has to have you tattooed on his body, and he has to have his eyes closed, not open, because he can't bear it if his eyes are open.

And what's even more desperate is...
If this old man Deng was just a pure beast, he would have simply left her alone and deliberately frightened her for a while. In this way, Jiang Li would at least have someone he hated and could express his hatred.

But in fact, she couldn't even hate him if she wanted to, because Lao Deng's starting point for doing all this was for her.

In order for her to remember the suffering of these days and the despair of having her fate controlled by others and not controlled by herself.

Sitting back like this on the gold-painted dragon chair, in order to firmly hold the power and control his own destiny.I can only deal with the government affairs day by day, taking care of all the big and small matters. I dare not relax or slack off in the slightest.

In this way, the power will not be lost, and the country will become more stable.

And the facts are also developing according to Lao Ping Deng's imagination. Jiang Li has been in power for many years, and the country has become more and more prosperous. Both the ministers and the common people praise this as a prosperous age that has not been seen in thousands of years. Logically speaking, this time is always There will be slacking off, even those holy masters and wise kings in history are bound to do so, but she has never done so.

From the beginning to the end, I dare not relax even a little bit. I work hard every day, wake up earlier than a chicken, go to bed later than a dog, and manage my country in an orderly manner. At the age of 30, I am tired of traveling through time.

Lin Luo used to think it was because she had a strong sense of responsibility, was a career-minded person, and was a workaholic.

But now it seems that these reasons may exist, but more importantly, those days left her with indelible psychological trauma.

She resists the sense of despair that her destiny is not under her control. She is afraid of the uncertainty of not knowing the future and can only suffer and wait.

One day, will I go back inexplicably just like I came inexplicably?

Does this kind of thing count as not being able to control one's own destiny, or does it count as a kind of uncertainty that causes torture and waiting?
It's up to you.

So in order to minimize this feeling of despair, she subconsciously made a choice not to decorate the so-called house or buy the furniture.

This way I won't worry about whether I will go back, because it doesn't matter.

Otherwise, you will experience the tormenting despair again. The only difference is:
What we faced at the beginning was whether my father would kill my mother and concubine; what we will face in the future is: will I suddenly go back?

No, now she has begun to face this situation. She wants to deceive herself and others, retracting her head into her shell like a turtle and not thinking about it, but in the end she has not deceived her heart.

So now I am very confused and hesitant.

What a pitiful little person, it makes people feel bad.

Reaching out and patting Jiang Li's back gently, Lin Luo silently sorted out her thoughts in her mind. If it hadn't been for the drink she had poured into her today and made her confide her feelings, she really wouldn't have known her. There are so many uneasy things in my heart.

I don’t know how much time passed, but Jiang Li’s crying gradually subsided, leaving only whimpering sobs and shrinking shoulders. Lin Luo asked aloud: “Actually, you don’t want to go back, right?”

".Um."

Lin Luo was not surprised to see her admit it. After returning to Daqi, he was just cautious and couldn't sleep well at night, worried that his daughter's identity would be discovered.

In addition, he has to deal with government affairs diligently every day, like a tool man. Even if he controls supreme power, what is the meaning of such a life.

It's better to be here, at least you can be yourself openly, without having to worry or be so tired.

"Since you don't want to go back, let's say that. I know you are upset, but people don't always think about the bad side pessimistically. For example, who can say for sure whether you will go back? Wait, Things cannot be predicted. Since it cannot be predicted, it means that it cannot happen, just like..."

Lin Luo raised his eyes and thought for a while, then gave an example: "Can you predict the occurrence of accidents? You might say that a gentleman does not stand behind a dangerous wall. As long as he does not go to dangerous places or do dangerous things, he can You are always safe. But what you are avoiding is only a man-made disaster, not a natural disaster. If there is an earthquake suddenly tomorrow, will you be able to escape it? You will not be able to escape it."

"But have you ever thought about such a thing? Have you ever thought that you might be killed by a landslide tomorrow or the day after tomorrow?" "."

After waiting for a while, when Jiang Li didn't answer, Lin Luo increased his strength and patted her back a few times, "I'm talking to you. Have you ever thought about what I just said?"

".No."

"Then do you think there is a chance of something like this happening?"

".Have."

"So is it certain that something like this will happen when you go back one day, or is it possible?"

".possible."

Lin Luo then asked: "Then why are you worried about going back and not worried about the earthquake?"

"." Jiang Li buried his face in his chest and refused to answer the question.

"So what you worry about are all useless things." Lin Luo said: "As a human being, the most important thing is to enjoy the present moment. It is useless to think so far ahead. You are a typical person who refuses to eat because of choking. Worrying about being choked to death will never stop you. Not eating, but how can one never eat?”

"Whether you will go back is as unpredictable as when a person will die. And death will definitely happen, but whether you will go back is not certain. You are not worried about death, but worried about such unreasonable things. Isn’t this a bit of a mistake?”

"No one knows whether you will leave. If you don't let yourself have too deep emotions with others just because of the so-called possibility, then let's not talk about whether this idea is ridiculous. At least it is impossible to do it no matter what. , just like you are worrying about going back now, doesn’t it mean that you have developed feelings for me?

Do you think I give up, and then you cut off those thoughts? From then on, you and I don’t think about that aspect. We just stay under the same roof for several years, ten years, or even decades. , you will feel that it doesn’t matter when you leave?
No, people are not grass and trees. As long as you get along with others, you will definitely have emotions, unless..."

At this point, Lin Luo stopped talking, and then stopped talking. Jiang Li couldn't help but ask: "Unless what?"

"Unless you move into the deep mountains and old forests, live alone, and interact with no one, then no matter how long you stay in modern times, you will definitely feel that it doesn't matter when you leave, and there will be no one who will miss you. How about this? Do you want to think about it? ?”

"." Jiang Li stopped talking and lay there motionless. Only because she had been crying for too long, her slightly trembling shoulders proved that she was still alive.

Lin Luo smiled and said, "But then again, if you live in the deep mountains and forests all your life, but never go back until the moment you die, and you find yourself worrying all your life, but end up alone all your life, then you Will you regret it?"

"."

Jiang Li remained silent, but Lin Luo knew that the chicken soup had been poured in and did not refute, which meant that she agreed with it.

"So, the most important thing is to grasp the present moment. What will happen in the future is a matter of the future. I am drunk today, but I will be worried tomorrow. Hey, don't rub your nose on me."

Jiang Li refused to answer this question and turned his head to wipe his tears on his shoulder. Lin Luo looked at it with disgust. There was a big lump on his shoulder and on his chest.
Forget it, fairies don’t have snot, she’s not a fairy, she’s a fire truck, blah blah blah.

"I have said all this, just to tell you, don't get into trouble, don't compete with yourself, there is no need. At least now what I want to do is to renovate this house with you and buy some furniture to make it no longer an empty shell. "

Lin Luo raised the dog's paw to help her tidy up her messy hair, "Is that okay?"

".Um."

It took a long time, and after waiting for a long time, she heard a faint hum. The sound was as soft as a kitten meowing. Lin Luo's hand arranging her hair paused, and she suspected for a moment that it was her imagination.

".Did you say yes just now?"

"."

Jiang Li ignored him and reached out to push his hair forward so that it would hang down and block his face. Then he got up from Lin Luo's chest and walked towards the room with a somewhat unsteady step.

"I'm tired, so I went to sleep."

".Hand up a little, the doorknob isn't there."

PS: This awkward plot ends here. In fact, according to my expectation, the content will be longer, and there will be one or two thousand words, but due to some force majeure, it has been shortened a bit, so let’s leave it at that.

It can be regarded as a clear explanation of the heroine's psychology.

OK, sleep.

(End of this chapter)