I'm afraid I'm not interested in love

Chapter 189 Confessions

"Oh~ you know how to ask questions!"

Xu Yang laughed.

This simple-minded guy obviously regards this issue as something as frivolous and illusory as an anime heroine's party struggle.

But Lin Tong knew very well that it was not the case.

This is actually happening in real time in the real world! ! !

Right in front of everyone! ! !
If you're not careful, you might open up the Shura field and get blood splattered on your face! ! !
He really wanted to grab Xu Yang's collar and ask him what kind of airplanes he was doing on weekdays, even though he couldn't tell from such an obvious situation.

But of course Lin Tong couldn't do this, so he could only silently drink a sip of wine and pray that he wouldn't say something he shouldn't have said.

"Let me think about what I said. I am an Iron-Blooded Green Plum Party member."

Xu Yang twirled the wine bottle, thoughtfully.

Su Chengyi had no expression on his face after hearing this, and just said "Oh?"

"I think it's not bad to fall from the sky."

Lin Tong quickly answered.

Su Chengyi's expression remained unchanged and he said "hmm".

Obviously, the person involved himself has no idea.

From the moment this topic started, Lin Tong had a storm in his head, thinking about countermeasures.

Didn't figure it out.

But I vaguely felt that this was an extremely important decision, and Su Chengyi could not be led astray by the drunken chatter of friends who had no experience in love.

So the key is – “keep a balance”.

Even if Xu Yang talks about Qingmei, he will talk about falling from the sky.

Anyway, it would be right if Su Chengyi couldn't make a decision.

Because if everyone is leaning towards one side, he might get drunk and call him directly to confess his love.

That means it can't be closed down at all.

Because he didn't think clearly about the decision he made in that situation, and he would definitely regret it later.

This is a great harm to Su Chengyi himself and the chosen party.

Moreover, it is very likely that Xu Yang and himself who formed the drinking party will be resented by the losing party.

God, is there anything more terrifying than this in the world? ? ?
No matter how you look at it, neither Chu Qingmian nor Chen Jinzhi will give up.

Lin Tong felt a chill down his back when he thought about what it would be like to be stared at by either of them.

He secretly made up his mind to maintain the balance of the scale.

"Damn it, how could anyone not stand by Qingmei? Companionship is the longest confession of love!

Falling in love at first sight is a lie, and long-term love is the way to go. "

Xu Yang patted the table and spoke plausibly.

Listening to the two of them talking, Su Chengyi silently opened another bottle of wine for himself.

I didn't use chopsticks, I just opened it on the corner of the table.

Indeed, time will tell.

"Gambling books disappeared with the fragrance of tea, it was only common at that time."

Su Cheng thought about the small squad leader's hard work over the years.

If you missed it in the past, now it’s time to cultivate it naturally, right?

"But love is not dependence, it is not a habit, it is not something that will develop naturally over time."

Lin Tong is good at math, has strong logical thinking, and can fight back calmly.

It seems to make sense.

Su Chengyi raised his head and took another sip of wine, and Chen Jinzhi's peach blossom eyes, which seemed to be smiling but not smiling, vaguely appeared in front of his eyes.

"Then love is not a momentary heartbeat! Heartbeat is such a simple thing. I can feel my heartbeat eight hundred times a day."

Xu Yang was very unconvinced, but as he rolled his eyes, he suddenly thought of something terrible.

"By the way, Mu Mu, do you have someone you like? Why do you say it so eloquently? It's not like you!"

Lin Tong didn't expect that while he was trying to help Su Chengyi maintain balance, he mistakenly pointed the finger at himself.

He quickly waved his hands in panic and denied:

"No, no. How is that possible?!"

"Really? If you lie to your brother and confess your love, you will definitely fail. I tell you."

Xu Yang came forward humbly.

"Of course not. I don't have the time to think about this now."

Although Lin Tong was indeed innocent, when he was asked this question out of the blue, his face, which had not turned red even after drinking, suddenly turned red.

"It seems so."

Xu Yang thought of how much Lin Tong valued learning, and suddenly felt that he had thought too much.

"What if you go to college in the future?"

But his fire of gossip still burns brightly.

Lin Tong thought for a while and replied:
"Study hard, get a scholarship, and strive to get a postgraduate degree."

Yes, Lin Tong is a role model for our generation.

Su Chengyi sipped the wine and silently crowned him in her heart.

".I'm so convinced! I mean, if you could fall in love in college, what would you like?"

Even though he had no experience, Xu Yang looked like someone who had experienced it before.

"do not know."

Lin Tong frowned and thought for a long time, then shook his head.

"Can't you even name a type?"

"What type do you like?"

Su Chengyi, who had been silent since the beginning, suddenly spoke up.

After drinking, Su Chengyi became much more energetic, and his eyes were not as lazy and cold as usual, but sharp and sharp.

Inexplicably feeling like he was being scrutinized by the examiner, Xu Yang was stunned for a moment and answered hesitantly:

"Gentle and considerate."

"Is this what Han Bing is like?"

Su Chengyi calmly told Xu Yang's biggest secret in his life.

"Hey!! No! Mr. Yi! How did you expose me!!"

Xu Yang suddenly became confused, panicked and at a loss.

"Okay, there is no uninformed person here."

Su Chengyi remained calm.

"what?"

Xu Yang looked at Lin Tong with some suspicion. The latter's face was a little apologetic and a little embarrassed, but he was not shocked.

"You really know, is it so obvious?"

Xu Yang scratched his head in frustration.

I thought it was well hidden.

"Especially obvious."

Lin Tong made another gentle stab in an apologetic tone.

"So there's no definite answer as to what type I like."

Su Chengyi said this slowly.

"Oh! You are very experienced, Mr. Yi. As for the question you just asked, how do you choose? Green plum or heaven?"

Xu Yang said this very unintentionally, he just picked a random topic.

But Lin Tong almost choked to death on the sip of wine that had not been swallowed in his throat.

Why did the topic he worked so hard to avoid come back again? !

"I do not know."

Su Chengyi thought for a while and shook his head.

"Then let's go back to our roots. Let's just choose whichever one looks good."

Xu Yang smiled mischievously.

When he said this, he had no specific image in mind. He could only think of some of the most common settings in anime.

For example, long and straight black hair, twin ponytails and yellow hair.

But Su Chengyi thought seriously for a while before replying:
"Pretty much, I can't choose."

How do you make it sound like these two people really exist?Mr. Yi is too serious.

Xu Yang couldn't help but feel funny.

Lin Tong looked at his playful expression with mixed emotions.

"No, no."

Xu Yang took another sip of wine and suddenly thought of something. Just as he was about to speak, Lin Tong said first:
"Qingmei and Tianxiang are just labels in the final analysis. If we really have to do this kind of multiple-choice question, there is only one selection criterion.

——Who do you like? "

"Abandon the labels, the order of appearances, and the first-come-first-served rule in relationships, who do you like?"

Lin Tong said a lot of words in one breath before picking up the wine glass to embolden himself.

He was afraid that Xu Yang would say some irreparable lies again.

"Yes! Choose whoever you like!"

Xu Yang laughed and agreed, and took the initiative to clink glasses with him.

Just choose whoever you like.

Su Chengyi was silent for a long time, seemingly thinking seriously, but in fact his mind was in chaos and he thought of nothing.

He sighed softly.

In those days when he was alone and surrounded by shadows in his previous life, Su Chengyi refused to communicate with others.

But sometimes he pays people to talk to him.

Psychological counseling is very expensive, especially in the highest-level consulting rooms.

At that time, the warm candlelight around me was swaying, and the air was filled with soothing incense.

At first, he was just making ticks on various scales, but later he switched to very technological equipment, and even his brain waves were being monitored in real time.

Su Chengyi lay on the soft sofa and closed her eyes.

Sometimes I feel like an alien creature about to be dissected in a science fiction movie.

The psychological counselor will slowly talk to him after he calms down.

Su Chengyi had read many relevant papers and professional books. The more times he came, he could almost guess what the consultant would say next.

"How are you feeling lately?"

"Did you have a strong reaction to the drug?"

"Did you sleep well?"

"Have you ever had thoughts of committing suicide?"

Su Chengyi answered mechanically without thinking:

"Fortunately."

"acceptable."

"Occasional insomnia."

"Generally speaking, no."

He didn't come here to heal himself, he just wanted to find a quiet place to lie down for a while and review the language function of communicating with others.

That's it.

Su Chengyi had rested enough. After he opened his eyes, the counselor would occasionally talk to him about his psychological problems.

"Avoidant attachment personality, do you have any information you want to share about this?"

“Attachment can be defined as a long-lasting emotional connection between one person and another across time and space. It is a psychological phenomenon that lasts throughout life from cradle to grave.

Psychologist Ainsworth invented the famous Strange Situation Method. By observing and studying children's exploratory behavior, attachment behavior and separation anxiety response in two situations where the attachment figure is present or absent, he successfully divided attachment into three types. There are three types: safe, avoidant, and anxious.

Avoidant attachment makes it more difficult to establish close relationships with other individuals and will be greatly hindered in interpersonal interactions. "

Su Chengyi's eyes drifted, and he didn't know where he was looking. He answered calmly as if he was giving an academic report.

The consultant smiled helplessly, stood up and poured him a cup of tea.

"Rather than using professional academic terms, I would rather understand how it manifests itself in you."

At that time, Su Chengyi took the tea cup and shook his head.

“Intimacy needs to be established first before I can observe the physical manifestation of it.”

The steaming tea cup in his hand turned into a cold beer glass. Su Chengyi pulled away from the memories and returned to the real world.

He didn't know why he suddenly recalled things from his previous life.

They are obviously two completely different environments. The consulting room is quiet and dead, but here it is noisy and lively.There were two guys in front of me who were drinking heavily.

But he vaguely felt that he could now answer the questions raised by the consultant.

Contradiction and hesitation, avoidance and silence.

This is what manifests itself in intimate relationships.

“You say you like rain, but you hold an umbrella when it rains.

You say you like the sun, but you hide in a warm place when the sun shines.

You say you like the wind, but you close the window when the wind blows.

So I will be afraid of you saying that you like me too. "

Rather than a long-term and firm intimate relationship, he prefers to believe that colorful clouds are easy to scatter and glass is fragile, and good things in the world are not firm.

Generally speaking, after rebirth, although social anxiety has been reduced a lot, I still have a very pessimistic attitude when it comes to emotional issues.

Su Chengyi held his chin and thought.But this doesn't seem to have much to do with those two.

Chu Qingmian was already very determined. He thought of the look in her eyes when she said, "I will always advance and retreat with you."

She just came close to showing him her sincerity.

The same goes for Chen Jinzhi, just like a person who is used to wearing a mask. Over the years, the mask has become integrated with flesh and blood.

As long as you don't try to take it off, it won't hurt.

She would not do it herself, but would come close and give him the right to unmask.

Just now Lin Tong said, put aside labels and all external factors.

Just follow your heart, who does he like?

"What exactly is liking?"

Su Chengyi suddenly asked.

While Lin Tong was exchanging cups with Xu Yang, he had been secretly observing Su Chengyi opposite him.

Seeing his thoughtful expression, Lin Tong's heart beat like a drum.

Is it possible that the finale will happen tonight?

It wasn't until he suddenly asked such a sentence that Lin Tong realized
——Well, it’s still early for the ending.

Xu Yang glanced at Lin Tong, who was dazed next to him, and then at Su Chengyi, who asked the question.

He realized that he was the only one on this table who could answer this question, and he suddenly felt that he had a heavy responsibility.

Whether these two idiots can successfully fall in love in the future depends on themselves!
After thinking for a while, Xu Yang pretended to be serious and said:
"Tossing and turning for you, why not give up the world for you."

"Sing a few lines?"

Su Chengyi took a bite of the toasted and crispy steamed bun slices, which were slightly cold.

"Hey, you've heard of it."

Xu Yang smiled and hummed a few words, not tuning in.

"It seems like it's raining in the sky~ I really want to live next door to you~ Hey, that's what it means anyway."

He waved his hand and continued:
"I can't sleep just thinking about her. I have to give up a lot of things I like for her. When I think about her being with someone else, I feel very heartbroken."

Xu Yang's expression was very serious when he said this, and he even covered his chest.

"Although I don't like anyone yet, I think that's probably the case. At least I have to empathize with her feelings and put her first."

Lin Tong agreed.

Su Chengyi lowered his eyes and said nothing.

"Oh, you are so light without love. I envy you so much."

Xu Yang obviously thought of something sad, he raised his head and drank a few more gulps of wine.

Lin Tong wanted to stop him, but he grabbed him instead, folded his arms and started crying.

"Wooden!! I feel so miserable. Why can't I wake up earlier? Do you think I still have a chance? Wuwuwuwu."

This is really a wine filled with sorrow, turning into tears of lovesickness.

Su Chengyi also drank together, but what he was thinking about was:

Do I still have the ability to like others?

Maybe there is, but it is within a controllable range, a safe range that can be withdrawn at any time.

This is almost not something he can decide on his own, but is a direct result of his innate fear of intimacy.

This part of the emotion is all he can give.

"What can I do to keep you?

I offer you the sorrow of a man who has looked long and long at the lonely moon.

I offer you the loyalty of a man who has never had faith.

I give you the core of myself that I have managed to preserve, the core that is untouched by time, joy, and adversity.

I give you my loneliness, my darkness, the hunger of my heart.

I try to impress you with confusion, danger, failure. "

Su Chengyi vaguely and intermittently recalled Borges's famous poem in his mind.

Lin Tong watched these two preoccupied people drinking harder than the other, and he didn't know where to stop them even if he wanted to.

We can only hope that what Xu Yang said, "The young master has a very good drinking capacity" and "How could he be so intoxicated by just drinking beer?" is true.

"Mr. Yi! Listen to me, no matter who you like, just move forward and that's it!

If you don't try them all, how will you know who you really like? "

Bad news, Xu Yang is already a bit tongue-tied.

Worse news, he's saying some weird, misleading things.

Lin Tong picked up a piece of steamed bun and stuffed it into his mouth.

"it is good!"

Su Chengyi raised his glass and clinked it with him.

The worst news has come, and Su Chengyi, who drank too much, seems to have really heard it.

It's over, I really fooled him.

Lin Tong held his forehead, regretting once again that he had come to participate in this drinking party.

One of them dared to speak and the other dared to listen. They drank in a daze and didn't know how much they drank. Beer bottles were scattered all over the floor.

Fortunately, Xu Yang had already deposited the food money at the front desk, and the bosses had already closed the stall and left.

Lin Tong rummaged through all four pockets on his body.

In total, there are only 20 yuan here and there.

After Sister Lin changed her job, she gave him more and more pocket money, but he saved it all and didn't use it.

I still want to save the 20 yuan to buy refills.

It was impossible to send both of them home with this little money, not to mention that he didn't know their home addresses.

We can only take them back to our home first, Lin Tong thought, pulled out the chair and stood up.

But taking a taxi should cost more than 20 yuan, right?

My phone is out of battery, and I don’t know if my sister is home yet. Can I tell the master to get off the car and go home to get the money?
Lin Tong looked at the two unconscious people lying on the table with a grimace, feeling a little at a loss.

He opened the curtain and took a look outside. It was quiet outside and there were very few vehicles passing by.

Lin Tong decided to call a car first.

As a result, after being blown by the evening wind for more than ten minutes, I didn't even hit a taxi.

Just when he was about to despair, a red tricycle drove over.

The car window was rolled down, and an old man with gray hair leaned out and asked him:
"Hi, kid. Want a ride?"

Lin Tong swallowed and carefully checked the safety of the car.

"It's very safe. Uncle, I have been a driver for decades, can you leave?"

The uncle swung the car faucet as if to show off his skills.

Why do I feel more unsafe?

But there is no other way.

Lin Tong glanced at the quiet and lonely street and nodded.

Together with the uncle, he helped the drunk man to the back seat with difficulty.

Xu Yang was so big that he took up half of the space by himself.

In order to take care of them, Lin Tong sat in the middle, feeling that all his internal organs were being pressed together.

It just so happened that the uncle deliberately drove the car in a cool way, as if he was dissatisfied with his questioning of the technology just now.

So the car bumped very hard.

The three people in the back row were jumping up and down like a disco.

Xu Yang was the tallest and knocked his head all the way to the hood of the tricycle, "dong dong dong", as if he was knocking on a wooden fish.

Even so, he showed no signs of waking up.

Su Chengyi sat on the far side, sleeping with his head against the car window, bumping into it from time to time.

Originally, he felt a little uncomfortable after drinking, but after being treated like this, Lin Tong felt like he was going to vomit in the next second.

He quickly opened half of the back window.

The windows of the tricycle are still the old-fashioned push-pull type.

The cool night breeze blew in, and the dull air in the car finally became fresher.

Even the unpleasant sounds of the engine and tires rubbing against the ground are no longer so obvious.

Lin Tong moved with difficulty, placing one hand on Xu Yang's head and the other on the side of Su Chengyi's face.

There are two beds in the house, and my sister sleeps in one. I freed up my bed for them to sleep on, and then I made the floor and made it.

While he was planning what to do tonight, Su Chengyi on the right suddenly sat up straight.

"Where is this going?"

Lin Tong moved his somewhat stiff wrist, and was a little surprised that his tone sounded so sober.

"Go to the olive area. You both just passed out from drinking. I'm thinking of taking you home to rest for the night."

"Olive area? No, I have an acquaintance."

Su Chengyi's eyes were clear and his tone was calm.

If he hadn't entered the wrong lock screen password three times in a row, Lin Tong would have almost thought he had sobered up.

Finally opening the phone screen, I saw him clicking on WeChat.

Lin Tong suddenly realized what he was doing and was shocked.

Olive area? !He doesn't want to call Chen Jinzhi, right?
Is it appropriate for a lonely man and a widow?

And if Chen Jinzhi's parents find out, they might pack him up and send him to the police station!

Lin Tong was very nervous, but due to moral principles, he did not dare to look at his WeChat interface.

Su Chengyi clicked on the chat interface with a person, held down the voice button, and spoke in a low voice:

"Goku Goku!"

? ?
what?
Lin Tong finally couldn't restrain his curiosity and turned around to take a look.

The name of the contact person reads: "He Wufei".

It turned out to be the weirdo in the raincoat from before.

Lin Tong breathed a sigh of relief.

I was scared to death, thinking I was going to witness some scenes that I shouldn't have witnessed again.

"Wukong, why don't you pick me up quickly?"

"The division will arrive at the battlefield immediately."

Have you matured to this level?

But Lin Tong also knew that He Wufei was a very good person and there should be no problem.

Perhaps because he felt that the other party was a little confused and difficult to communicate, Su Chengyi didn't have the patience to explain anymore and dialed the phone directly.

"Pick me up."

Lin Tong pricked up his ears and listened to the movement on the other side.

I don't know why I didn't hear any sound, it was like the other party hadn't spoken.

"Pick me up, I'll be there soon."

Su Chengyi looked out the window.

After drinking, his movements were shaky and he looked like he was about to jump out of the car to escape.

Lin Tong quickly grabbed him and reminded him:

"Olive Road bus stop."

"Olive Road bus stop."

Su Chengyi repeated obediently.

The other party immediately hung up the phone after hearing the place name.

Lin Tong thought, this is good, it just solves the accommodation problem.

Otherwise, it would be a bit too unfair for them to sleep on the single bed at home.

Maybe it will roll to the ground at night.

"arrive!"

The uncle braked suddenly, and the tires scraped against the ground, making a screeching sound.

"Master, how much is it?"

Lin Tong asked cautiously.

The uncle turned his head and said with a smile:

"Take the two hundred and finish."

Seeing Lin Tong's frightened expression, the uncle burst out laughing:
"If you tease your child, you'll have it at twenty."

"Thank you uncle."

Lin Tong breathed a sigh of relief and handed over the 20 yuan change in his pocket.

He helped Xu Yang out of the car first, and then went around to the other side to help Su Chengyi, only to see that he had jumped out of the car on his own.

Fortunately, he woke up suddenly, otherwise he really wouldn't know how to help two people.

After watching the red tricycle drive away again, Lin Tong shrank his neck and felt that the night breeze was still a little cool.

Wearing short sleeves, goosebumps appeared on his arms.

He turned around to ask Su Chengyi if He Wufei had arrived, but he only saw a smile on his lips, looking in the direction of the bus stop sign opposite.

Lin Tong looked over with some confusion.

When he saw clearly the figure wrapped in a light-colored coat next to the stop sign, he was so frightened that he almost fainted on the spot.

Who can tell him why Chen Jinzhi is here? ? ?

At this time, He Wufei, who had just returned home after a day of hard work and was about to go to bed, fell into deep thought while listening to several voices on his cell phone.

　Thanks to book friends Low Power, Mango Jam, and Dongbao for their tips!Thank you everyone for subscribing and voting!
　　He Wufei: Who in the family understands?
　　
　
(End of this chapter)