I'm afraid I'm not interested in love

Chapter 204
"If you plan to love someone, you have to think clearly whether you are willing to give up your God-like free heart for him, and then be willing to be tied down."

This sentence from "The Great Gatsby" appeared in my mind almost at the same time.

Su Chengyi looked at Chen Jinzhi's sad eyebrows, took two steps forward, and grabbed her cold fingers.

In the hot summer night wind blowing in his face, Chen Jinzhi's whole body was as cold as a piece of ice.

Holding her hand at this moment, Su Chengyi had the illusion that her hand would melt into a puddle of water in his palm.

Chen Jinzhi took a deep breath, as if he wanted to say something, but failed to adjust his breathing properly, choked on the wind, and coughed softly.

Su Chengyi's hand moved behind her back and gently helped her calm down.

Chen Jinzhi is so thin that he can feel his bulging shoulder blades just by touching him like this.

"I never knew I would be so panicked."

Chen Jinzhi lowered his eyes and spoke very slowly.

The ups and downs she experienced over the years once made her think that she was born to be such a person who could be indifferent to everything.

When Chen Jinzhi was still young, not long after he went to South Korea, he once heard his aunt and relatives talking on the phone.

Usually, I am afraid that she will hold grudges if she hears it, so when I say unpleasant things, I usually avoid suspicion.

The aunt said she didn't look like a child at all, she didn't cry, she didn't fuss, she didn't miss home.

I don’t know how to ask adults for toys, and I don’t say anything when I’m bullied at school.

Many foreigners cannot understand honorifics when they learn Korean, but Chen Jinzhi has never missed honorifics.

Even though they live under the same roof, the aunt sometimes doesn't even dare to look into her eyes, feeling that she is like a stranger who has suddenly walked in.

Didn’t it say that some organization is currently researching some intelligent robot?Maybe this kid is.

It would be nice if there was some way to send her to an orphanage.

Chen Jinzhi listened in silence for a while, then slowed down and returned to the door, deliberately making a noise, and then said calmly as usual:
"I am back."

Even after hearing such words, Chen Jinzhi's heart remained unmoved.

Although the family seemed to be in harmony at this time, she was cautious and could barely maintain a superficial peace.

Later, the man became addicted to alcohol and gambling, which is a story later.

Whether she was discriminated against and bullied in a foreign country, or whether the chance to debut and her four-year training career were thrown away as a life-saving straw, she accepted it all calmly.

But armor and weakness always come together, and she should have known better.

Seeing Chen Jinzhi in a daze, Su Chengyi pressed her hand harder on his chest, looked into her eyes and said seriously:

"I'm sorry. There won't be a next time."

She was originally just like him, a person who was invulnerable to all poisons and had no taboos.

This morning, when the whole class was scared to death by the flying cockroach, Su Chengyi glanced at Chen Jinzhi specifically, but she didn't even raise her head.

"Do you remember what you told me?"

Chen Jinzhi raised his eyes to look at him.

There were many things said, but both of them knew exactly what she was asking at this time.

It’s me who will help you, don’t be obedient, it’s me who will move forward with you.

"remember."

Su Chengyi paused and replied.

"have it done."

Her voice was suddenly very soft, and Su Chengyi felt as if someone blew into his ear.

"it is good."

Su Chengyi nodded.

The next second, without warning, Chen Jinzhi took a step closer and gently leaned his face against his chest.

Ditch sobriety for a while.

Her tears fell very restrainedly, and her back rose and fell slightly.

Su Chengyi felt the school uniform fabric on his chest was wet and warm.

She was probably really sad, he couldn't help but think so.

When he returned to his home downstairs, Su Chengyi felt that his chest was still burning with Chen Jinzhi's tears, making him a little uneasy.

His steps were so light that he didn't even disturb the voice-activated lights in the corridor.

So when his figure suddenly appeared, the people waiting at the door were so frightened that they screamed.

"mom?"

Su Chengyi rubbed his ears and turned on the flashlight with a confused look on his face.

Sure enough, it was Yang Liu. She was clutching her chest and looking overly frightened.

The flashlight flashed, and Lin Zhiwan stood next to him with a worried look on his face. His eyes were slightly red, as if he had cried a lot.

"Why are you two here?"

Su Chengyi took out the key and opened the door first.

"You have the nerve to ask? What did you do today?"

After Yang Liu regained consciousness, his expression suddenly became extremely serious.

He didn't even move forward, he just grabbed him and looked him up and down.

When Su Chengyi's arm was grabbed by her, it felt as if it had been torn apart with her bare hands. The pain immediately made him take a breath.

"mom!"

"Why are you trying to be so strong if you know it hurts you?"

Yang Liu's mouth was unforgiving, but his hand movements were still much gentler, leading him towards the room.

"You knew already?"

Su Chengyi sighed. He knew that King Li would tell his parents sooner or later, but he didn't expect it to be so soon.

Lin Zhiwan followed up carefully and put the ointment in her hand on the table.

"Pain is good. If something happened to you, how would you let your mother live? Let me ask you."

As Yang Liu talked, tears were about to fall.

No, I saw too many tears today.

Su Chengyi quickly took out some toilet paper and handed it over.

"I'm fine, am I not? And don't worry, Mom, you will gain wisdom after every experience, and you will definitely not do it again next time. The situation today was too urgent, and I acted impulsively."

Su Chengyi repeated this trick again very skillfully.

I have tried it several times, but it only works with Chen Jinzhi so far.

Yang Liu covered her eyes with a tissue and calmed down for a while.

Su Chengyi raised his head and glanced at Sister Lin, who was still standing quietly next to her. She was wearing a hearing aid in her ear, and asked with some confusion:
"Why don't you sit down?"

Sister Lin looked like she was holding back tears and pointed to the ointment she brought.

"You must be in pain, right? It will make you feel better if you rub this on."

Su Chengyi nodded and reached out to take it. Unexpectedly, he pulled some tendons when he raised his hand, and the pain immediately made him grin.

Sister Lin hurriedly waved her hand to stop it, and took out the bottles and cans from the packaging bags and arranged them.

Yang Liu wiped away her tears, took a deep breath to calm down, and said in a hoarse voice:

"Zhiwan's massage skills are very good. You can ask her to massage it for you."

There is actually such a craft.

Su Chengyi raised his head in surprise.

Lin Zhiwan seemed a little shy at such a compliment, but she was still more worried about Su Chengyi's condition. She picked up the ointment and nodded firmly.

Su Chengyi thought about it and realized there was nothing to be embarrassed about.So he decisively took off his school uniform, turned his back, and lay on the back of the chair.

Some of Lin Zhiwan's original feelings that she didn't dare to look at quickly disappeared after seeing the shocking large bruises on his shoulders.

Yang Liu was really distressed and turned his head away not wanting to look anymore.

"Xiaoyi, before you do such a dangerous thing, can you think about your family, friends, and mother?"

Lin Zhiwan's fingers were covered with a thin layer of calluses due to years of hard work, and they felt clear against the skin.

Let the ointment spread over your shoulders, bringing you a cool and comfortable feeling.

Su Chengyi closed his eyes and said "hmm".

"If it were a close friend of yours, my mother would still understand why you were so desperate, but that's Zou Lian. Do you two have any personal relationships at all?"

Yang Liu sighed heavily, seemingly still unable to understand.

Su Chengyi still closed his eyes, and the bitter taste of traditional Chinese medicine surrounded him, which had a soothing effect.

"I don't have anything to do with him, but I'm afraid the human relationship between your previous generation cannot be explained clearly in a sentence or two."

Yang Liu didn't seem to expect that he would ask so directly, and was stunned.

"He has been living in the shadow created by his mother so far. I am the villain in his bedtime stories. Although it has nothing to do with me, what if he died today?"

After Su Chengyi said this, she felt Lin Zhiwan's fingers leave her behind for a moment. When she turned her head and looked, she actually silently took off her hearing aid.

Maybe I feel like I shouldn’t hear these words.

But in fact, it's nothing. Yangliu can bring her here with him, which means that he has treated her as a close family member.

"So, what exactly is going on between you adults that is worthy of being entangled to this day?"

Su Chengyi simply asked more directly.

Yang Liu stood up and poured himself a glass of water, took a sip impatiently, collected his thoughts again, and then said:

"Zhong Qiuhe, Zou Lian's mother, and I grew up together, and she has been my best friend for a long time. She was also the one who introduced me to the show where I first saw Su Zelang. Go."

"It was only a long time later that I found out that they had known each other for a longer time and that she had always had a crush on Su Zelang. If I had known earlier, I would never have started dating him."

"After Su Zelang and I got married, she married one of her suitors almost at the same time without any warning. We had very little contact at that time, and she unilaterally alienated me. Of course, I Don’t know why.”

"The thing that reappeared in my life was the divorce. You must have heard people gossip about it a lot? The truth is similar to those gossips. It's just that Su Zelang has been unwilling to admit it."

Su Chengyi thought about it and realized that he had heard this all the time since he was a child.

Some people put it more tactfully, wearing a mask of hypocrisy, trying to get some inside information out of his mouth.

Some people were more direct, with a face full of narrow-mindedness and gossip, and boldly asked him if he had ever seen Aunt Zhong, who was more beautiful than his mother?
But ever since he smashed the ashtray on the table into someone's face, fewer and fewer people gossiped.

Lin Zhiwan took his arm and pressed it gently, bringing his thoughts back to the present.

She usually wears her hair pulled up to make it easier to do things, but today she may have been a little late and forgot about it.

The hair brushes the tip of my nose from time to time, which makes it a little itchy.

"No matter whether that thing is true or not, whether he was wronged or not. At least there is one thing that your dad can't explain clearly. He has long known that Zhong Qiuhe likes him. And over the years, the two of them have always had a relationship. Connection. That alone is completely unacceptable to me.”

Yang Liu took another sip of water to calm down his somewhat excited tone.

"Although I often say that meeting these two people was my bad luck for eight lifetimes. It would be great if they locked up and got married together. Why would they harm others? However, sometimes I feel that this may be the fate of my life. Avoid it. But there’s no escape.”

"Besides, if you don't survive this disaster, you won't be around in the world. Xiaoyi, mom, think about it, it's still worth it. Even if you go back to the past and choose again, mom will still choose this result."

Thinking of this, Yang Liu suddenly laughed again.

Su Chengyi glanced sideways, and saw that his mother's face was indeed very beautiful when she was young.

In fact, it’s not surprising that Su Zelang fell in love at first sight, or that he fell in love with her at first sight.

Retelling this matter that she had never wanted to mention in front of her son, her smile gradually became a little relieved.

These things of the older generation are really what is sung in the song:

If the past is still worth cherishing, don't let go of the past too quickly. Who is willing to just have nothing to do with each other?

We need to owe each other, and we need to be disconnected.

I don’t know if this song will be released this year.

"It's time to turn the page, Mom. Let's all move on."

Su Chengyi closed his eyes again and spoke slowly.

He said this sentence to Yang Liu, and also wanted to say it to the other two protagonists of the story.

Although he felt that if Su Zelang and Zhong Qiuhe said this, it would probably be a new version of the other two ships.

For example, Su Zelang would definitely explain that he had no interest in Zhong Qiuhe and that he was innocent and upright.

And if he and Zhong Qiuhe were together, wouldn't they have been together long ago?How can there be such bad things later.

Su Chengyi's perspective on Zhong Qiuhe was a bit hard to guess, her character was too twisted.

Zou Lian grew up in this kind of environment, and it's really rare that he doesn't have a psychopath to retaliate against society.

They would probably say things like first come, first served, relationships are unfair, and so on.

I hope that after today’s repeated jumps on the line of life and death, Zou Lian can not pay for the past and look forward.

Lin Zhiwan's massage skills were indeed remarkable. Su Chengyi just lay on the back of the chair and almost fell asleep.

Before leaving, she wrung her fingers, as if she wanted to ask something.

Su Chengyi looked at her evasive eyes, made a rough guess, and immediately gestured and said:
"My shoulder hurts too much today and I can't carry my schoolbag, so I'm off from school."

Lin Zhiwan was relieved. She lowered her head and quickly wiped her fingers from the corners of her eyes.

He raised his head again and gestured solemnly:

"Be safe."

Su Chengyi nodded and watched her and Yang Liu go downstairs and leave.

In just a few steps, Sister Lin walked back three times, for fear that he might need her help with something else.

The most difficult to accept the grace of beauty.

Su Chengyi was lying on his side on the bed, and this sentence came to his mind.

This was simply his deepest psychological feeling at the end of the day.

Chu Qingmian was closest to the scene of the incident, so she was probably the most frightened.

He had expected that she would be angry, but when she was really sad about it, he still felt a very heavy sense of guilt.

Fortunately, Chu Qingmian was willing to be reasonable, or in other words, willing to believe what he said.

Chen Jinzhi is different.

The person who usually maintained a sense of distance suddenly dropped her guard, shut out all his sophistry, and said that the only thing that would scare her was losing him.

This really forced him not to reflect deeply on himself.

In short, if the tears shed by these people today were collected, they would almost drown him.

So, has his definition of "fear" changed?
Thinking about the fact that he almost died, Su Chengyi opened his eyes in the dark room.

The obscure philosophy book I read today to kill time said:

"Those who have completed their karma are heading toward death; those who are still young are thinking about it for a long time.

In the midst of suffering, we finally strive to survive. We only hope to be harmonious and happy, lofty and long-lasting, and even brilliant. "

Have you achieved perfection?

Obviously not.

For him, death may still not be worth fearing, but there are still too many regrets in life that remain unfinished.

To put it bluntly, Su Chengyi really didn't want to experience a baptism of tears like today.

　Thanks to the book friend low power, the book friend’s tail number is 5287 for the reward~
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　　If nothing else, there will also be an extra episode dropped during the Mid-Autumn Festival~
　　
　
(End of this chapter)