I'm afraid I'm not interested in love

Chapter 530: Jin's Birthday Extra: Letter from August 8 (Part 21)
Today is February 8.

Happy birthday to our heroine Chen Jinzhi~~
To me, Jinzhi is a very, very magical character. Sometimes I feel that she really exists in some parallel universe and lives a shining life of her own.

So~~ on this special day, please all book friends and pillows accept this birthday letter from classmate Jinzhi that transcends dimensions!!!
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The day Chen Jinzhi was born, it was late summer and the sun was shining brightly.

"It's out! It's a girl!"

The only ones who received this joy were the nurses in the hospital.

As everyone knows, the pregnant woman in bed No. 11 has been alone during these days of labor. People have gossiped about it many times in private, but the child's father has never come to the hospital to see her even once.

The pregnant woman was extremely beautiful, with a graceful Jiangnan temperament. The nurses couldn't understand what kind of man could marry such a wife and treat her so coldly.

However, this pregnant woman was a strong woman. Despite the many inconveniences during the delivery period, she endured it all without saying a word.

No matter how uncomfortable he felt, he always spoke softly to the doctors and nurses and never lost his temper.

Perhaps because of her mother's genes, the baby in her belly was also sensible and was born smoothly without causing her too much trouble.

But despite this, the mother was physically and mentally exhausted during these days, and eventually she fell asleep due to exhaustion.

From the beginning, the nurses often took extra care of this woman because of her special condition.

Now that they finally saw the little girl being born safely, everyone was overjoyed, as if they had seen their own biological daughter, and they rushed to hold her.

The little girl was born well-behaved. After coming into this world, she just cried a few times symbolically and then calmed down.

As soon as the girl opened her eyes, the nurses in charge of the delivery couldn't help but exclaim in amazement. What a beautiful pair of eyes, completely different from those wrinkled little eyes of the usual ones.

After the mother woke up, the nurses came to report the good news immediately. They all said that she would definitely be a beauty in the future and that she looked like her mother.

"Have you decided on a name for your child?"

"Such a beautiful little girl must be given a nice name to suit her!"

"Oh my god, this is the most beautiful newborn baby I have ever seen."

"And with long arms and legs, he will definitely have a good figure in the future!"

Faced with the nurses' concerned expressions, the woman in labor gave a weak smile and looked at the little figure sleeping peacefully on the other side.

"I've thought about it. If it's a girl, I'll call her Jinzhi."

"When will the bluebird cut the brocade characters?"

On the day when Chen Jinzhi turned one year old, Shu Wang was busy preparing a circle of objects for her to use in the "Zhuazhou" ceremony.

Brush, copper coins, books, weighing scale, flute, gourd medicine bottle.
Shu Wang was also a first-time mother, and she knew only a little about these things. There was no one around to help her, so she had to work hurriedly by herself for a long time.

Fortunately, Chen Jinzhi was not as noisy as other children, and rarely cried at night.

Most of the time when she was awake, she would stare blankly with her beautiful eyes blinking - with an attitude of seeing through the world.

Although Shu Wang felt much more relieved by this, he was still a little worried.

Although Chen Jinzhi doesn't like to cry, she doesn't like to talk either. She is definitely not in the babbling stage like other children.

I am not very interested in rattles, bells and the like. My only hobby is to appreciate the scenery outside the window.

This child might have some language barrier.

Shu Wang looked at Chen Jinzhi who was surrounded by a circle of objects and thought worriedly.

Chen Jinzhi sat obediently on the bed. Although Shu Wang was singing Happy Birthday and urging her to get the things next to her, she remained motionless like a mountain.

Just when Shu Wang thought that his child was going to refuse to cooperate again, Chen Jinzhi's attention was suddenly attracted by something. He opened his eyes wide and began to crawl towards the edge of the circle.

Shu Wang held her breath and found a ruler placed in the direction she was heading.

In traditional meaning, a ruler represents measurement, which means that the child may become a lawyer or other profession in the future.

Very good! It is suitable for girls to be lawyers or something like that, and the salary and benefits are good.

Shu Wang was thinking this and feeling happy, but then he saw that Chen Jinzhi did not reach out to grab the ruler, but tried to crawl over it.

This is?

Shu Wang was slightly stunned, then he saw Chen Jinzhi stretch out his finger, pointing outside the blinds, and laughed.

A blue butterfly was lying on the window frame, almost blending into the color of the sky. If you didn't look carefully, you wouldn't notice it.

"Butterfly~"

The pronunciation was unclear. This was the first time Chen Jinzhi spoke.

Two-year-old Chen Jinzhi is a delicate little girl who has just learned to walk and insists on walking on her own.

Shu Wang took her to the street, and the neighbors couldn't help but come over to tease her.

"Where are you going?"

"cake."

Chen Jinzhi's voice is clear and melodious.

"Oh~ Today is our Jinzhi's birthday!"

What followed was the scene where the neighbor aunts fed Shu Wang all kinds of candies and snacks, and Shu Wang desperately waved his hands and said no.

Chen Jinzhi’s third birthday marks a big event.

"Jinzhi, you will soon be a kid in the kindergarten."

Shu Wang said this with a smile as he put three candles on this year's birthday cake.

"A green candle over here."

Chen Jinzhi stood on tiptoe beside the dining table and made a request.

"Good good."

Shu Wang sighed, thinking that his child probably didn't have any separation anxiety or anything like that, and it was the mother who had separation anxiety.

Chen Jinzhi carefully hung the teddy bear that came as a gift when she bought the cake on the strap of her schoolbag.

When she was four years old, Chen Jinzhi said she didn't want a birthday cake, but asked for a can of fruit candy instead.

The candies, dyed in a variety of colors with cheap pigments, are wrapped in shiny colored paper and cost only a few dollars a can.

"You really don't want to eat cake?"

"Ah."

Chen Jinzhi stood in front of the dessert shop window with a firm attitude.

"The cake is gone in one night, but a can of fruit candy lasts a long time."

she explained.

Shu Wang lowered his eyes and picked up the can of fruit candy.

"Please pay the bill here."

Actually, I think the cake is too expensive, really.

How can you tell that the family is in financial difficulty when you have such a young child?
Shu Wang sighed softly and touched her head.

"I have to eat cake next year, ok? I've finally reached the age where I can make wishes."

"it is good."

Chen Jinzhi held the sugar jar in both hands, smiled and nodded.

Five years old.

Chen Jinzhi didn't get to eat cake today because an uninvited guest came to his house.

Shu Wang frowned and protected Chen Jinzhi behind him.

She didn't see the face clearly, but she vaguely felt that the man was very tall and spoke in an impolite tone.

"Okay, Mommy has a little thing to take care of, why don't you go back to your room and play for a while?"

Shu Wang turned around and forced a smile.

Chen Jinzhi just nodded and turned back to the room. Shu Wang followed her and closed the door.

Chen Jinzhi could feel the man's gaze following her from behind. She didn't know why, but it made her feel uncomfortable.

After a while, a sharp quarrel was heard outside. "Who caused me to become like this? The whole world can look down on me, but you can't. You are the only one who doesn't have the qualifications."

My mother, who is always gentle and kind, actually spoke in such a tone.

Chen Jinzhi leaned against the wooden door and realized that the man must not be a good person.

That day, my mother seemed to be so devastated that she didn't remember her birthday until the next day.

She was extremely sorry, but Chen Jinzhi said it was okay.

Chen Jinzhi was already a glorious elementary school student when he was six years old, but his first grade was not easy.

On her first day of school, her classmates called her a fatherless child.

The little bear that was given as a gift when I bought a cake when I was three years old was also torn off by my classmates as a prank and thrown out of the window.

When the school bell rang, Chen Jinzhi looked around the flower bed but couldn't find it.

She guessed it must have been swept away by the cleaner.

Such pranks are annoying, but if you ask the teacher for help, the teacher will definitely tell your mother.

Chen Jinzhi thought so and did not respond to the prank.

But this year, she received a teddy bear as a birthday present.

It seems that there is no secret in the world that can be hidden from mother.

After turning off the lights, Chen Jinzhi hugged the teddy bear and thought silently.

Starting from the second grade, the homeroom teacher was replaced by a very strict old teacher, and the students' pranks became less frequent.

Chen Jinzhi's grades are very good and he always gets 100 points in the final exams.

My mother also started to change from this year.

Chen Jinzhi noticed that she was distracted more and more often, and sometimes ignored him when he spoke to her.

She often suffers from insomnia and has heavy bags under her eyes. Sometimes, even after Chen Jinzhi gets up to go to school, she is still sitting in front of the window in a daze.

Even when I brought home the certificate for being a model student, my mother would just glance at it, as if she no longer considered it a source of pride.

While his peers were worrying about snacks and toys, Chen Jinzhi was worried about how to make her mother happy.
Troubled by such sorrow, she didn't remember that today was her birthday.

But a gift box had already been placed next to her pillow. Inside was a children's picture book with the following words written on the title page:

"I wish my baby Jinzhi a happy birthday and hope he grows up healthily."

When he was eight years old, Chen Jinzhi did not receive the Three Good Students Award certificate for the first time.

"Student Chen Jinzhi was late and left early too many times this school year, which caused a lot of personal behavior points to be deducted, so he did not receive the Three Good Students Award.

But her grades are still the best in our class. The teacher hopes that she can correct her mistakes and be a good kid next year!"

This is what the teacher said at that time.

But Chen Jinzhi didn't take it to heart. She was concerned about the set of stationery that the first place winner would get.

It had been agreed in advance that Xiaomei would buy it for twenty dollars.

During this year, my mother's condition gradually worsened. Not only was she unable to go to work, but seeing a doctor and taking medicine also became a huge expense.

Chen Jinzhi planned to use the 20 yuan she earned from selling stationery to treat her mother to ice cream. It is said that eating sweets can make people feel better, and her medicines looked too bitter.

In addition to financial problems, Chen Jinzhi was always worried that something might happen to her mother because she was left alone at home.

When her condition was particularly bad, she could only ask neighbors for help to tie up her mother to prevent her from hurting herself.

As a result, Chen Jinzhi often came to school late and left early.

Unexpectedly, my mother ran away secretly that day.

Chen Jinzhi searched anxiously outside for the whole day. When he returned home, there was a crooked birthday cake on the table, which had come from nowhere.

Only then did Chen Jinzhi remember that today was her birthday.

During the summer vacation when he was nine years old, Chen Jinzhi helped the owner of a small shop at the corner of the alley to look after the store.

Throughout the summer vacation, she did her homework while running the store and could earn five dollars a day.

My mother's condition became more and more serious, and her mind became very confused. Sometimes she even questioned who Chen Jinzhi was and why he was in her house.

At times like this, Chen Jinzhi would hide in the closet to avoid the spotlight.

The closet contains my mother’s old clothes, which retain the familiar smell.

Before going home that day, the boss handed her a small loaf of bread and a five-dollar bill.

"Go home now."

"thank you boss."

Chen Jinzhi smiled slightly and took it.

Everyone on the street likes this little girl very much. Who wouldn’t like such an obedient, well-behaved and pretty little girl?

But Chen Jinzhi has a strong sense of boundaries and rarely accepts free help from others. She insists on helping in something before she accepts it.

When Chen Jinzhi returned home, his mother was already asleep.

She sat on the stairs, tore open the package of the bread, and said to herself, Happy Birthday.

The situation at the age of ten was no different from the previous year, except that his mother died this summer.

Chen Jinzhi started to hate rainy days from this year on.

When she was left alone, the whole house seemed empty.

This old three-story building has been considered by some children to be a "haunted house" where they can go on haunted adventures.

But Chen Jinzhi didn't think this place was scary at all. If ghosts really existed in the world, she would definitely ask her.

"I don't blame you for making this choice at all. I just want to ask you, why don't you take me with you? Why do you leave me alone in this world?"

On his birthday, Chen Jinzhi climbed up to the windowsill where his mother often sat before she died, and found that he could see the moon very well from this angle.

I don’t know what the palace is, but what year is it.

If only I had never been born, she thought.

At age eleven, things changed.

Her biological father came to her home and saw her lying on the windowsill doing her homework by the light. His brows furrowed unnaturally.

He heard from the police that his ex-wife slit her wrists and jumped off the building there.

This kid is not shy at all, it's obvious that he is heartless.

Chen Jinzhi saw that his face was very similar to his own and guessed his identity.

The child had no say. She followed her biological father to a completely unfamiliar environment, and her aunt didn't seem to like her very much.

Being in a foreign country and not being able to speak the language, it was very tiring to adapt to all aspects, but Chen Jinzhi tried hard to overcome them.

That night, she was studying Korean under the emergency lights in the hallway.

Turning to the pages of daily conversational language, Chen Jinzhi's eyes stopped on one sentence.

"."

"Happy birthday."

At the age of twelve, Chen Jinzhi could already speak Korean very well and got along well with his classmates.

"Our whole family went to Jeju Island again during the summer vacation. It was boring."

"Ahhh——I heard someone went to Tokyo. I'm so envious!"

"Go buy some ice cream, it's too hot!"

But it’s still a little difficult to interrupt my classmates’ conversation.

Chen Jinzhi's summer vacation life was to help other students with their homework and earn a living.

Hot weather, monotonous copying, endless cicada chirping and the smell of asphalt roads.

This year, Chen Jinzhi also forgot his birthday.

(End of this chapter)