I was beheaded in the Middle Ages for 20 years

"Mr. Siling, I often doubt myself, whether I should know you, whether I should like you, and fall in love with you."

The white linen scarf around Falina's neck has long been removed, and she is wearing a corset skirt that highlights her figure.

Xu Siling subconsciously held her in his arms and looked at the young and infatuated face of Falina, not knowing how to react.

"If you hate someone, it would be much easier. If you hate Mr. Siling, I already know what to do. Hatred is simple and clear, not superficial, unlike love."

"Falina"

Xu Siling's thin lips opened slightly, but Falina's index finger pressed lightly on them, and her mint green eyes flashed with tears.

"Mr. Siling, you don't have to worry about sharing your gentleness and your bravery with me, because Falina is a very greedy girl. What I need is never the things that seem to be lacking. I need you."

"Perhaps in Mr. Siling's eyes, Farina is a person who seeks happiness and is a greedy person. At least that's how Ella sees me. I understand very well what kind of existence I am in her eyes."

"Mr. Siling, Falina often wonders, what is happiness?"

"Why do people always feel that they are unfortunate? Including myself, before I met Mr. Siling, I never felt that I was unfortunate. My life in the mountains was worry-free, and my aunt took care of me. Until I met Mr. Siling , I thought this was Farina’s happiness and Farina’s luck, but I discovered that it was not Farina’s misfortune that I met Mr. Siling.”

After hearing this, Xu Siling wanted to speak again to interrupt the explanation, but her thin lips were pressed by her index finger again. Tears streaked across Farina's face, and she said slowly with a cry: "Mr. Siling, please listen to Farina first, okay? .”

"Slowly, these days Farina got an answer, that is, if the human heart is like a cup-like container, then happiness is water. Before meeting Mr. Siling, the cup in Farina's heart was , there happens to be a little bit of water and a little bit of happiness. In the eyes of outsiders, Falina is unfortunate, but this little bit of water in the cup is also happiness worth cherishing."

"However, when too much happiness pours into the cup, Farina can only carry one cup at most. The cup in my heart will not become bigger because of the filling of happiness. Therefore, Farina does not I feel happy. How many people in the world will be content? Will Miss Raya be content? Will Ella be content?"

Falina shook her head in Xu Siling's arms: "I don't think they can."

"Most people say that dissatisfaction is due to the greed of human nature, and some people say that people should be greedy. Farina doesn't know which statement is right, but I know that I am the kind of person who even if I have a A whole cup of happiness, but I will still feel reluctant, regretful, and painful for those people who lost their happiness because I couldn’t bear it.”

"Ella thinks I'm a greedy person, but Falina doesn't think so. I'm not greedy. I just feel that the happiness that I can't bear didn't fall from the sky for no reason. Just like... Mr. Ling poured the happiness in his cup into my cup, but the happiness overflowed out of the cup and stained my hands."

"That's what I feel, it's called guilt, it's called condemnation. I often blame myself, what qualifications do I have to taste my full cup of happiness? The happiness in my cup should be cherished, and those things that flow out of the cup because I can't bear it Shouldn’t I cherish the happiness of others? Am I not responsible for the happiness of others lost because of me?”

"The life after meeting Mr. Siling was the happiest and happiest day for Farina, because Mr. Siling was very kind to Farina. I don't know how to repay Mr. Siling's kindness. I don't know how to repay Mr. Siling." Give me happiness in a cup.”

"Until I had a cup full of happiness, Falina was more reluctant, regretful, and painful for the happiness that overflowed from the cup."

"Mr. Siling, Falina really doesn't think she is a greedy person."

"It is greed to carry such painful feelings on your heart.

"Then Falina really wants to be a greedy person."

More and more tears fell from Farina's mint-colored eyes, and her pitiful face made anyone look at it, let alone Xu Siling, who already had love for Farina.

Falina was like a timid girl looking forward to receiving charity. Her eyebrows were slightly furrowed and red; her green eyes were already silently filled with tears, soaking Xu Siling's fingers.

If love is just a feeling, then when it is challenged, such as the wear and tear of time, or the obstacles and limitations of others, this feeling will soon disappear.

Not to mention that it is easy for people to get this feeling from different people, so the most common thing people say when they are in love is 'I don't have feelings for you anymore'.

True love must not be a momentary touch, but a long-lasting commitment, so long-lasting that sometimes when you stop and look back, you can directly see where love is from many memories in the past.

Xu Siling did not respond to Farina. He just held Farina tightly in his arms again. He could only tell her his feelings and guilt through actions.

When a girl is in front of you, she expresses her love with actions, hoping that you can give her something back that she once had.

Why could I reply to her so lightly? Why.

Xu Siling couldn't give a reply. What he had to do was very simple, which was to take action and tell Farina.

Tell her his guilt, his mistakes, and what she said, he will always remember it in his heart.

Her breath was filled with moist tears from Farina's body. Her slender body also carried pressure and love that many people couldn't feel. She also had what she really wanted.

After Farina's heartfelt words, she finally gradually calmed down in Xu Siling's arms.

Xu Siling wiped Farina's face with a wet towel. Now that she looked calmly, she found that Farina's mental state was obviously not good. She didn't have a good rest last night. After a whole day of running around and tired, coupled with emotional fluctuations, she burst into tears. After washing, the big eyes are covered with red threads and the eyelids are slightly sunken. Who can look at them without feeling distressed.

Xu Siling sat on the bed, while Falina sat on his lap with her legs spread apart, facing him, holding his neck with her hands, the girl's cute green face was pressed against her chest, seeming to be sniffing Xu Siling's body The smell can gradually relax her mood.

Xu Siling gently held Falina's unbearable soft waist and looked at the melon seeds on her head with soft eyes.

He listened carefully and could hear some noisy sounds in the forest world outside the window.

The inside and outside of the house were now like two worlds, which made Xu Siling feel a little trance-like.

"I am a hopeless person. I sometimes dream about it." Falina pressed her face against hers. She hugged Xu Siling, as if she was shy, feeling each other's tenderness: "If Falina can stay with me all her life, Just stay away from Si Ling for now, that’ll be fine.”

"Then let's stay together for the rest of our lives, if you don't hate it."

Falina broke away from the embrace and looked at Xu Siling in disbelief, her eyes full of surprise.

"Is everything you said true? Mr. Siling, did you not lie to me?"

Xu Siling just shook her head gently: "When have I ever lied to you?"

Falina's eyes turned red again, and her words gradually became sobbing: "Mr. Siling, I'm talking about a lifetime! A lifetime!"

"I know."

"It's a year difference in a lifetime, a month difference, a day difference, even a minute difference or a second difference. It doesn't count as a lifetime!"

Falina started crying again and couldn't stop her eyes from watering. Xu Siling looked on at a loss and could only wipe it with her hands.

Xu Siling didn't expect that just the words 'together' would make Farina cry again.

How heavy is the weight of this desire to be together in her heart?

Just as Xu Siling gently wiped Farina's tears with her hand, he was stunned by Farina's next words. "This is an agreement! Even if you and Ella are completely married in the future, you can't push me away from you."

"You" Xu Siling was stunned and didn't know how to speak, "Why are you saying this."

Because it stands to reason that in this situation, isn't it what Farina wants, other than her status as a wife?

Shouldn't she propose to be with him at this time?

Isn’t Farina jealous of Ella and unwilling to give in?

Why were you willing to give up, instead accept him and Ella being together, and bow your head voluntarily?

"I said, Farina is not a greedy person, and she has never been." Farina seemed to be relieved, but she didn't seem to be: "I once had a transaction agreement with Ella."

"What exactly did you agree on?"

"Ella allows me to stay in the main house, and allows me to stay with you. But I need to accompany Ella on this trip, help her block her words, and prevent Miss Raya from testing her problems. More importantly, , from now on at home, I need to send messages and orders to the family on her behalf. This is the deal between me and her."

"How could you agree to such an agreement?"

"Auntie once said that lovers are stolen and wives are robbed. But Farina doesn't want to steal or rob. Farina just wants to be by Mr. Siling's side. I don't want anything else."

Farina no longer shed tears, and the calmness of her inner words made her smile.

"I know Mr. Siling must be curious as to why I don't compete with Ella for the identity of my wife. Falina may not be that smart, but she's not that stupid either."

"Mr. Siling, I know I don't understand the world, but no matter how much Farina likes you and no matter how much she doesn't want others to get you, I also know that I am not the best. Maybe I can be selfish to anyone, but I can't I have selfish thoughts about Mr. Siling."

"Mr. Siling, Falina dares to tell anyone that I am the person who loves you the most and understands you the most in the world."

"But Falina also knows that Ella is the one who knows how to love and understand you best in the future."

In Falina's words, there was only one word "understand" between the former and the latter, which puzzled Xu Siling.

"Why."

"From the time I really got to know Ella, I slowly came into contact with Ella. I found that Ella is really smart. She can prepare for everything that may happen in the future and make many possible plans for Mr. Siling. Plan. And"

"And what?"

"Besides, Ella already knew that I hid in Mr. Siling's bed that night, didn't she?"

"You know everything?" Xu Siling was surprised.

"She didn't tell me, but I noticed it. I thought back to what Ella said to you that night. The more I thought about Valina, the more I felt something was wrong. All the words were said to Mr. Siling, but all the words were... Pointing at me, it's more like telling me." Farina smiled bitterly, "Especially after Mr. Siling was not prepared to explain to Ella afterwards, nor was he willing to tell me Ella's situation, Farina Only then did I fully understand that Mr. Siling didn’t tell me because it was for my own good and to protect me.”

"I"

"So I have always been clear that I am not as good as her, and I am not willing to do so, but I have to admit it." Falina's bitter smile was trembling, "I can't do what she does. Because if you put yourself in someone else's shoes, imagine that I am Mr. Siling Your wife, Ella is me. She hid in your bed. After I found her, I couldn’t do what she did.”

"That's why I said, Ella is the one who knows how to love you and understand you best in the future. I'm really not as good as her."

"Compared to Ella and Miss Raya, Farina has nothing. I don't know how to win. And the only potion that can win was thrown away by me. Farina knows that she can't make mistakes."

Xu Siling's heart was full of mixed emotions. The more Falina acted like this, the more uncontrollable guilt he felt in his heart.

Why should I be treated like this by Farina? Why?

Why does Farina have such feelings for herself.

He could be so humble that he gave up his own ideas and went to fulfill him and other people, just to think that they could still be together in the future.

And Falina has never been a truly greedy and unwilling person.

She is just a girl with low self-esteem, sensitivity, and timidity. She does not dare to steal or rob with others. She does not dare to force her feelings on the other person. She is afraid that her feelings will cause trouble to the people she cares about. She only has low self-esteem. I want to find a corner to hide around the people I care about, and pop up from time to time to take a look at the people I care about.

Xu Siling thought that she had neglected Farina for a moment, but she actually neglected everything about Farina.

Xu Siling couldn't describe his mood at this time, he was very heartbroken.

Because from Farina's perspective, she was not wrong.

Yes, she obviously has nothing. Compared to anyone around her, compared to Ella, compared to Feier, what can she do to win this battle?

Farina never thought about fighting with others from the beginning. She just wanted to give up everything to achieve her humble goal.

It can be said that potions are her only struggle.

Xu Siling could fully understand how Farina felt when she had decided to give up. When she knocked the potion to the ground, she gave up completely and felt the pain in her stomach.

She likes him but doesn't dare to force him, because she knows there will be no result, but she doesn't want to leave the person she likes, so she wants to be a guardian innocently. She thinks that being able to stay with the person she likes forever is the greatest happiness.

And deep down in my heart, I am afraid that I am jealous and want to go crazy.

"I know what kind of existence I am in your eyes. I even understand that when Farina said I love you, Mr. Siling would sincerely reply to me without hesitation and say that you love me too."

"Farina understands everything. I even understand the difference between friendship and love."

"Friendship is two people and the world. You are friendship to me, so in your eyes, I will always be separated from the world. And what about love? Two people are the world. In other words, we are This world, to put it another way, Mr. Siling is my world."

"As long as I can be by your side, even if you don't love me, it is still love to me."

Falina's mint green eyes shed tears, and suddenly she smiled easily and slyly, looking like a naughty girl for an instant.

"What's more, doesn't Mr. Siling love me? So, Mr. Siling."

"Let Falina forget everything tonight, okay?"

"Don't be so gentle to me" (End of Chapter)