I became famous by doing things.

Chapter 327 327. Crazy thoughts

Master Chang Jiu didn't say anything, and I felt relieved. I was really afraid that he would scold me.

"I stayed to eat, thank you for your hard work."

Hearing Master Chang Jiu say this, I breathed a sigh of relief. According to this state, I should be leaving after dinner.

After the soup was cooked, I served him a large bowl with meat and soup in it, and then I served myself a small bowl of soup and drank there. The yak meat was delicious, and the meat was fresh...

I drank so beautifully.

"Why don't you eat meat?"

Hearing Master Chang Jiu's words, I looked at the meat in the pot and shook my head. If I had eaten this, I would have been beaten. The old man had a strange temperament, he was domineering and unreasonable. Later I figured out the rules. As long as I ate it, I would get beaten. If I make myself pitiful, he will basically be less likely to hit me.

"You will be beaten if you eat meat, but you will be beaten less if you don't eat it. Once you get used to it, you won't eat it anymore, and sometimes you will eat a piece secretly."

When Master Chang Jiu heard what I said, he gently stroked my head and said softly:

"He is dead, and no one will hit you anymore. Xiaobai, look at me...do you still remember me? Why...are you so distant from me...look at me."

Seeing Mr. Chang Jiu's somewhat anxious look, I unconsciously stepped back and took a sip of soup. After I had food in my stomach, I wasn't so anxious anymore. The old man died and was given to him by Taoist priest Yamaye. Kill me, I know...

I've experienced it myself, I know it all.

But I still... still...

It's like... It's like an elephant that was captured and locked up in a zoo with shackles on its feet. Even if the shackles are removed, it can't return to its original state.

This feeling is bad, but only when I come back here and prepare food can I feel at ease.

I had a very quiet time in the hospital, and I lived well in the temporary hotel that Qiaoer and the others found for me.

Very good in every way.

But there is a voice in my heart, telling me to come back quickly...

At first I could still fight it, but later on if I didn't follow this, I would feel like crazy and anxious. Only when I came back did I really do everything.

Only then can I feel at ease.

"Yes. I know who you are, and I also know that he is dead, but I feel like I am sick...I can't help it. I will feel better after I come back, so I am anxious to come back."

For the next week, I sat there in a daze during the day. When the time came every day, I would cook, drink some soup, and then continue to daze. Master Chang Jiu sat next to me, and he just stayed with me without saying a word.

Sometimes they would advise me to eat more, saying that my body lacks too many nutrients and something will happen over time.

I am always afraid that it will hit me suddenly, so I am always nervous.

It ate whatever it asked me to eat, and for a while it seemed that the fear of the old man Wang Hun was transferred to it. To be honest, I hoped it would leave quickly, so that I could relax a little.

Even though I knew it shouldn't hit me, I was still a little worried. The constant tension made me very tired.

The yak has been eaten, and I am thinking about hunting another one. If Master Chang Jiu leaves and I am alone, I will have no problem eating for a month.

Seeing that the soup in the bowl is almost gone...

I pursed my lips and said softly:

"When are you leaving... Is there nothing going on with your brother? If you have been gone for so long..." After I said this, Chang Jiuye stood up suddenly. This frightened me and I quickly stepped back. Two times, hold your head...

Before I could say anything to beg for mercy, I was hugged by it.

"I really won't hit you, Xiaobai, I really won't hit you. When did Master Jiu lie to you? Be good... don't be afraid. I will be good to you..."

The pain in my body did not come as usual. I raised my head and glanced at Master Chang Jiu, and breathed a sigh of relief...

What is this disease called...

Called…ptsd.

PTSD.

Previously, it was said that veterans who participated in the war would have stress reactions to many things. For example, popcorn popping on the street would feel like an explosion.

Many times I am frightened and need long-term psychological counseling...

After thinking about it for a period of time, I thought I might have this disease.

My mental state is not good, nor is my thinking state. I can only resign myself to fate and do things according to my own mood.

I have also thought about leaving here, but every time I think about it, I feel so scared that I can't even say a word for help.

Now I just want to be alone.

I was as docile as a cat, lying in Master Chang Jiu's arms. I was thinking about when I could take advantage of his absence and secretly walk deeper, to find a place where I wouldn't be discovered...

"Where do you want to go…"

Hearing Master Chang Jiu say this, my body suddenly froze.

I forgot that my Tangkou has recovered. I think they can know everything. I am like a deflated rubber ball. At this time, I should speak more clearly...

I sat up straight, sighed and said:

"Master Jiu, I don't want to stay with you. I want to be alone...don't be angry. I just want to discuss with you whether I can stay alone for a while, and then..."

Chang Jiuye gently stroked my back, and I shivered with fear.

It sighed...

There are many familiar feelings in the eyes that look at me, just like the way Miao Fengwu and the others looked at me back then, as if they were looking at a dying dog.

"I was really angry before. You abandoned me. Then the female demon and the ghost general came and told my mother that you agreed to return after death. At that time, I felt even more abandoned. If it weren't for my mother If you imprison me, I might have gone to Kunlun Mountain and died together with the old man. The female slayer and the ghost general did not leave after talking about this matter. They often played the scenes of the Death Valley in Kunlun Mountain for us to see. Seeing you being killed I feel very sad to be treated like that. The original anger and resentment are long gone..."

"Hu Tu and I wanted to rush over to find you several times. Even if we couldn't save you, we would still be clean if we all died together. However, we were stopped by my mother. She warned us more than once that the past is death. As long as we can find Taoist priest Yamano might be able to turn things around, so we tried our best to find him, searching day and night."

"The hard work pays off. Later, we finally found Taoist Master Yamano, and he told us what he was doing during this period. He said that in another year, the cage of his body will be completely completed. I can only watch you every day. Being beaten and scolded, but unable to do anything, you don’t know how painful it is for me, I wish I was the one who suffered this..."

"At first you would scold him and resist. But later I saw you resigned yourself to it, and when the light in your eyes disappeared, I knew that your consciousness was damaged... It was that bastard who did it. Every time he When he insults you, he always carries some scriptures with him, so you can't remember what he said, you just remember that he hit you. Xiaobai... don't be afraid, I will accompany you to get better."

My consciousness is damaged...

I'm a little confused and don't know what to say. In fact, I have experienced so much. In the end, it is others who suffer, but I don't feel anything at all.

Or maybe I'm numb.