Merry God in the city

In a public toilet more than ten miles away from the battlefield, although it is late at night, the door has already been closed.But there were still suspicious voices coming from inside.

The loud sound of the cannon made the glass of the public toilet tremble. Mo Xing, who was squatting inside, let out a comfortable moan, and tore off the toilet paper on the side.Pulling up his pants, he turned around and pressed the toilet button.

Following the sound of toilet water flowing, Mo Xing smiled in satisfaction, and was about to open the door and go out.Suddenly there was another "gurgling" sound in his stomach, his expression changed, he quickly unbuttoned his belt, took off his pants and sat down again.

Following the bursts of strange noises, Mo Xing said bitterly with a livid face: "Well...there must be something wrong with those ham sausages last night, otherwise how could these stinky brats like Wei Cheng hand them over? Ah, Damn it, I only cared about being happy at the time, and didn't think about it so much... Um... I must clean them up when I go back... Here it is again..."

Panting heavily, his entire face was almost wrinkled.Finally, with a loud noise, Mo Xing rolled his eyes and let out a sigh of relief.After sitting on the toilet and resting for a long time, I reached for the paper.

Suddenly, a black shadow passed over the top of the head.Mo Xing opened his eyes, raised his head and shouted angrily: "Who is it? It's very rude to peep on others going to the bathroom... Oh my god, help me, ghost..."

There was a single room in the toilet staring at him, with a man's head resting on it, his eyes wide open, fixedly staring at Mo Xing.

"The Tathagata Buddha, the Jade Emperor, the Daoist Sanqing, Guanshiyin Bodhisattva...quickly manifested, quickly manifested...the fighters are all in front, and the demons retreat!" Mo Xing trembled violently like a jumping god. .Then he waved his hand fiercely, only to hear that there was no movement around him.

Quietly glanced upwards, only to see that terrifying head had disappeared without a trace.

"Woohoo, I must have been drinking too much recently, and I have hallucinations..." Mo Xing stroked his chest, panting heavily.At this moment, his whole body was almost soaked.I was exhausted and just about to get toilet paper, when suddenly, a long sigh came from the next room: "Hello..."

The voice flickered and appeared indistinctly, as if it came from the [-]th floor of hell.

"Oh my god..." Mo Xing almost threw his ass into the toilet.Putting his hands together, he said tremblingly towards the next door: "Hey, why not a monster? How dare you sneak attack at this moment, it's really despicable and shameless."

"The one next door..." The tone of the voice suddenly rose an octave, and he cursed, "You are afraid, but I am not a ghost. You are so fucking afraid. Just now when I saw a person sitting next door, I thought it was a toilet god. I was so scared that I almost stepped into the toilet, don't forget I haven't flushed yet."

Mo Xing breathed a sigh of relief when he heard that there was a person next to him, and immediately said impolitely: "Shit shit, shit shit, it's so sneaky. I didn't hear the sound of me flushing the toilet just now. It's so scary to do this at night. Death does not pay for life?"

The man next door said weakly: "Don't talk about it, I've been bullied by others. The sky was so dark just now that I can't tell the difference between south, east and north. I don't know that you are next door. Fuck, I know that the old man has no good intentions. He actually smiled and asked I eat watermelon, how could I be fooled. If I don’t eat watermelon, I drink beer. Who knows, he put laxatives in his beer. Ah..."

Hearing another leisurely exhalation from the next door, Mo Xing sneered and said, "You idiot, you've been fooled, that old man is playing hard to get."

"Yeah, so I drank half a glass of beer and it didn't taste right, and I immediately turned my head to eat watermelon. Oh man, that goddamn old man put laxatives in watermelon too. God, I curse him for life.. .” The man gritted his teeth.

"Well, life is just a coffee table full of cups, and you are the cup of cups." Mo Xing laughed, "Dude, being drugged is someone else's fault, but running out in the middle of the night to scare people You are wrong."

The person next door said helplessly: "Didn't I react when I was performing a mission?" He was taken aback, and asked in a deep voice: "What's the matter with you? I remember that this area has been sealed off by the police, right? How did you get in here?"

"Hey, hey, don't talk about me, you are the same. This toilet is locked, how did you get in?" Mo Xing immediately slapped him.

"Bastard, don't you know that people have three urgencies? Don't say lock the door, even if it is welded to death, I will kick it open. Don't change the subject, I am a policeman. If you confess, be strict and resist and be lenient... No, be frank and be lenient and resist Strict." The man next door said seriously.

"Tch, if you are honest, you will be lenient, and you will be jailed. If you resist, you will go home for the New Year. Do you think I am a pig? I will believe you if you say you are a policeman. Besides, even if you are a policeman, you are just a prisoner. The policeman who took laxatives, is having diarrhea." Mo Xing said disdainfully.Suddenly there was another reaction in my stomach, and I hurriedly gritted my teeth and started to work.

Hearing the reaction from the neighbor, the man gloated and said, "After talking for a long time, it turns out that your Excellency is also the same. Haha, being able to come to the same place for the same reason in the middle of the night is really fate."

"Hmm... You don't talk so disgustingly, who is destined to be with you... Woohoo, cool..." Mo Xing let out a long breath again.At the same time, there was another noise from the next door.

Mo Xing laughed: "Hey, Comrade Police, you are busy first, I will take a step first..." He stretched out his hand to tear the toilet paper, and then froze.

The person next door said anxiously: "Hey, the neighbor next door, don't leave yet. Well, even if you leave, can you do me a favor and pass me your toilet paper? It doesn't need much, one inch... .One inch is enough."

After a long time, the neighbor still responded.The man frowned and sighed, "Going away? But I didn't hear the sound... Sigh, why are people so indifferent these days. It's fine not to flush the toilet, not even a small favor... "

Suddenly, Mo Xing's voice came faintly from the next door: "Comrade policeman next door, you... Did you just say you want paper?"

"Yes, yes," the lady next door was overjoyed and nodded desperately.

"Does that mean you don't have any paper?" Mo Xing still asked calmly.

"Aren't you talking nonsense," the man said dissatisfied, "If I have paper, why should I lend it to you?"

"Great, I have good news and bad news, which one do you want to hear first?"

The man immediately became vigilant, bared his teeth and said, "It seems that when you encounter this kind of problem, generally speaking, the final result is a tragedy, right? Forget it, how can this situation be more tragic now? Tell me the good news first. "

"The good news is... I do have paper here."

"Haha, it's not a tragedy, it's not a tragedy. What about the bad news?"

"The bad news is... the paper I have here is only one centimeter long."

"..." The next door was silent for a while, and it took a long time before they suddenly roared: "Mlgb, just say no and it's over. I got agitated, and a bunch of them came out..."

Mo Xing said dejectedly: "You are so anxious, I am the same. Oh, don't worry, I will accompany you."

"It's useless to have you by my side. I'd rather be crushed to death by a pile of toilet paper than squat here like this." The man said painfully.

"Oh, don't worry. Anyway, even if we have paper now, we dare not get up. The stomach hasn't stopped yet... Look, you can't help yourself..."

Hearing the noise from the next door, the man's face was like a kohlrabi: "Okay, okay, don't disgust me... Bastard, I finally got better, and I was driven by you again... Um..."

"Hey, they are all degenerate people in the world. Why should we know each other when we meet again? Brother, why are you so angry when you have reached this point. Only by working together can we find a way to break through the difficulties together." Mo Xing rolled his eyes , said leisurely.

The man next door nodded and said: "Yes, yes, I am actually an ordinary policeman. I am only responsible for patrolling this area. I didn't expect this to happen. Your Excellency, what's going on with you?"

"Oh, don't mention it. I came with a tour group. There was a night tour of the Great Wall at Badaling, but who knew that I got separated. In addition, they added Sudan red and waste oil to dinner... In desperation, I have no choice but to come here." Mo Xing said casually.

"Really? Sigh, the tourist groups these days are indeed too deceitful. I said buddy, have you brought any documents? Maybe I can help you." The man next door said indignantly.

Mo Xing rolled his eyes and said with a smile: "Comrade police are also dedicated, it's past three o'clock in the morning, and they are still on duty. By the way, can you let me see your ID first, and let me have a number."

"Ah... sorry, my ID is left in the duty room."

"Ah... I'm sorry, I lost all my luggage."

"Oh..." The two laughed at the same time, but cursed in their hearts at the same time: "Fuck, this old and cunning guy. Wiping his ass with his ID card doesn't seem to work."

The man next door turned his head to look left and right, and said, "Comrade next door, my side is leaning against the wall, take a look in the single room next door, is there any paper?"

"Oh, comrade policeman next door, I'm sorry to tell you that there is also a wall on my side." As he said that, Mo Xing patted the cold wall beside him.

"Fuck." The two cursed at the same time.

After a while, suddenly there was a dialing sound from the next door, and after a while, I only heard: "Hey, Brother Ma, yes, I'm Xiao Li... I'm in the toilet, I have diarrhea... What? I'm already fighting Is it? Yes, yes, I will rush over immediately... But before that, I would like to ask you for a favor."

"It's nothing serious, it's just... I'm out of paper in the toilet, can you bring some... Hey, hello?" Hearing the busy tone from the phone, the man said angrily, "Damn, you're all so shameless. .”

Suddenly Mo Xing's voice from next door sounded: "Hey, Fengzi, I'm your Brother Xing. Yes, yes, I'm in the toilet now... You're so smart... Ah, thank you for your concern, I'm now It's already much better... No, no, there are other things, just... Can you come over and deliver some paper, I don't have any paper here... Hey, hey?"

"Fuck, people these days are so disrespectful." Mo Xing said indignantly.

"Oh..." The two sighed again at the same time.

After a while, the man said in a deep voice: "Neighbor, do you know how many solutions people have had to deal with such emergencies since ancient times?"

"I don't know, I'm just trying to find paper." Mo Xing.

The man sighed and said: "The first method is to ask the neighbor directly. Since everyone is useless, then we should directly inform the people who are close to me and come to rescue you immediately."

"It seems that we all failed the first move." Mo Xing said helplessly.

"It doesn't matter, there is a second trick." The man laughed proudly: "The second trick is to 'abandon the car to save handsome'. Do you know why people wear underwear? It's to protect the pants."

"... High, really high." Mo Xing stretched out his thumb, "Why didn't I expect that?"