Records of Strange People and Strange Events in the Old Mansion

Chapter 25 Thief

After a while, Zhu Badger shouted: "What are you doing?"

"What are you doing? We want to ask you!"

"Yes, what are you doing here as a woman in the ancestral hall?"

Tian Da Lei and Tian Er Lei rushed to Zhu Badger in a fierce manner.

Although Zhu Badger fell to the ground and hadn't gotten up yet, she didn't take Tian Da Lei and Tian Er Lei seriously at all. After a few sneers, a carp stood up from the ground and called the eight thin dogs to her with a loud whistle. On the left and right, while dusting themselves off, they sternly questioned Tian Da Lei and Tian Xiao Lei: "This ancestral hall is the Zhu family ancestral hall. Do you still remember the surname of your ancestors?"

Tian Da Lei and Tian Er Lei were usually wary of Zhu Badger, because Zhu Badger always ignored her and was even more yaksha than her old mother Ma Yaksha. They couldn't afford to offend her. They just saw her lying on the ground and wanted to take the opportunity to tease her. , Unexpectedly, eight thin dogs came up, not only protecting the red badger, but also staring at the two brothers, ready to bite them into pieces at any time, so naturally I was very panicked. Zhu Badger asked them what their ancestor's surname was? The big leprous and second leprosy of the Tian family were even more speechless.

"Eight Badger Immortals, in what age do you still talk about these clan concepts?" Tian Laizi walked up to Zhu Badger with his hands behind his back and a figure-footed step.

Zhu Badger despises Tian Laizi's behavior the most. What is it? A few people who are illiterate spend all day pretending to be officials. Isn't it just that they have been the captain of the village militia for a few days? That's how he got there by playing tricks behind his back.

"This old dog barks very loudly, but it's still a lot worse than my dog. In what era were women not allowed to enter the ancestral hall? In what era were women still sneaking into the ancestral hall to engage in superstitious activities?" Zhu Badger He raised his head and looked at the stage, deliberately not looking at Tian Laizi.

Tian Laizi was angry when he heard Zhu Badger scolding him as an old dog. Zhu Badger was even more angry when he saw her. If it had been before, he would have slapped his head with both hands and shouted loudly, scolding Zhu Badger. Today, I rubbed the man's head with both hands, took a few glances at the eight thin dogs at the feet of the red badger, and then said with a smile: "Fairy, in the new society, men and women are equal. You can enter this ancestral hall if you want, and no one will stop you. But I want to tell you You, we are not doing any superstitious activities in the ancestral hall, we are just here to have a look and see."

"Just come here to take a look? Our Zhu family's ancestral hall, why do you Tian family come to see it? Also, if you don't come to see it in the morning, you won't come to see it in the evening. What are you coming to see at this time?" Zhu Badger withdrew his eyes from the stage and stared at Tian Laizi.

Tian Leizi turned his head to avoid Zhu Badger's gaze, and his eyes happened to meet the sharp eyes of a thin dog. He immediately trembled like an electric shock and ran outside the ancestral hall, shouting as he ran: "Big, big Lep, two , Er Lei, go home quickly, quickly, quickly.”

Tian Da Lei and Tian Er Lei didn't understand why their old father was suddenly so frightened. Although the Eight Immortals Badger is a careless master, she is just a little woman after all, so there is no need to be afraid of her. Those eight thin dogs looked like they wanted to eat people, but they wouldn't bite them for no reason. If they did bite them, she, the Eight Badger Immortals, would have to compensate. While the two were stunned, Tian Laizi ran outside the gate of the ancestral hall.

Standing under the eaves of the main porch, Tian Leizi put his hands behind his back again and pretended to shout: "It is unlucky for a woman to enter the Zhu family's ancestral hall. I, the Tian family, was Renyi and stepped forward to stop her in time, but she was slandered instead. There are men in the Zhu family." No? Your ancestors may have to bear the consequences."

When Tian Da Lei and Tian Er Lei heard Tian Da Lei's shout, they woke up and hurriedly ran outside the gate of the ancestral hall. How could Zhu Badger allow them to run away? With a cry, the eight thin dogs divided into two groups and surrounded Tian Da Lei and Tian Er Lei.

"You, what do you want to do?" "Let us out quickly. It's you who will suffer the consequences for you Zhu family men!" Tian Da Lei and Tian Er Lei threatened Zhu Badger.

Zhu Badger sneered twice and said: "Hmph, it's the Zhu family men I'm waiting for. They're here to see who is going to suffer?"

The man from the Zhu family who arrived first was Mr. Zhu. He seemed to have expected such an incident. He stood at the gate of the ancestral hall with a folding fan and said calmly: "They are all still there. It's good. It's good."

"What do you mean?" Tian Laizi looked a little guilty.

Mr. Zhu pointed a folding fan at Tian Da Lei and Tian Er Lei who were surrounded by thin dogs in the courtyard of the ancestral hall and said with a smile: "I thought the divine dog had swallowed up the little thief. It seems that the divine dog is the divine dog. I am afraid that my mouth will be dirty." "

"If you continue to act foolishly, I will tell you bad things. Be careful that Zhu Hu will deal with you." Tian Leizi glared at Mr. Zhu.

Mr. Zhu folded his fan and gently waved it, and replied to Tian Lezi with a smile on his face: "The tree wants to be still and the wind will not stop. The old man and the slant-eyed woman have nothing to do with him. It doesn't matter whether he is a red tiger or not. But you, on the other hand, are evil-minded, unrepentant, and ungrateful." , repay kindness with hatred. In the past, no one in our Zhu family punished you, but now that the Badger Fairy has grown up, it is your turn to obey the law."

"You are the only one who knows this all day long, and you are the only one who treats yourself as a chamber pot user. I tell you, I, Tian Leizi, did not survive because of fear, but earned it with my own blood. If you don't do it anymore, I'll show you blood right away." Tian Lezi showed his fierce look.

Mr. Zhu's face remained unchanged and he still responded to Tian Lezi with a smile: "If you want to see blood so much, today the Badger Fairy will definitely grant your wish. However, I still advise you that you can't go against it if you do it by God. You can't survive if you do it by yourself. It's too late to run away now." .”

"Run? Why should I run? My Tian Leizi's dictionary does not have the word 'run'." Tian Leizi held on.

Mr. Zhu laughed out loud, shook his folding fan to make the wind blow, nodded, and said: "A child can be taught, but rotten wood cannot be carved. I didn't expect that you Tian Leizi still has a dictionary. I will destroy my Kangxi dictionary when I go back." "

"what happened?"

"what's going on?"

"Why is the ancestral hall door open?"

The men of the Zhu family who lived in the old house arrived one after another, and Zhu Hu was the first to rush. After several brothers from his family yelled for a while, he coughed and said in a tone of voice: "The facts are not very clear. The Badger Eight Immortals entered the ancestral hall without authorization. The Tian family father and son came forward. Block it and cause trouble.”

"Uncle Tiger, what do you think we should do next?" The man walked up to Zhu Hu.

Zhu Hu was very satisfied that Stilt-legged Guy called him "Uncle Tiger" in front of everyone. In terms of age, Zhu Hu was younger than Stilt-legged Guy; in terms of seniority, Zhu Hu was one generation older than Stilt-legged Guy. Almost all the men from the Zhu family who arrived were a generation younger than Zhu Hu, but usually no one was willing to call him "uncle". At this critical moment, the cross-legged man called Zhu Hu "Uncle Tiger", which undoubtedly elevated Zhu Hu's status. The short Zhu Hu himself felt much taller, even taller than the one-armed Luo who stood watching from a distance. Several times taller.

The tall and burly one-armed Luo did not sneak into the front of the crowd with the swing-legged guy as usual today. He stood alone under the eaves of Mr. Zhu's house with his sleeves folded up and his back bent. His tall body looked a little tall. Very lonely.

One-armed Luo's surname is Luo. When he was three years old, he came to Lvbubu Village with his mother. As a dragster, One-armed Luo was never qualified to enter the old house's ancestral hall, even though his stepfather was an upright person in the old house. People with the surname Zhu.

Now seeing Zhu Hu standing proudly at the gate of the ancestral hall and looking at him disdainfully, One-Armed Luo's heart ached, which was more painful than the fierce white-haired wind blowing on his face in this winter. He couldn't bear to look at it. With the sarcasm and ridicule in Zhu Hu's eyes, he turned around and was about to leave, when Ma Yaksha's high-pitched shout came: "Everyone with the surname Zhu here or those with other surnames, everyone who lives in the old house, come here!"

The one-armed Luo's turned body froze in place, and his brain began to fight fiercely. Should he pass by or should he keep his original posture and turn around and leave? During the hesitation, Ma Yasha's high-pitched voice came again: "Everyone, the ancestral hall is the ancestral hall of the old house, and the old house is the old house of all of us. If someone wants to steal the treasures in the ancestral hall of the old house, should we all work together to catch it? How many thieves are these?”

"I'm here to catch the thief!" One-Armed Luo shouted and strode to the door of the ancestral hall. The stiletto man hurriedly swung himself in front of the one-armed Luo and whispered: "Catch the thief and the stolen goods."

The tall body of the one-armed Luo stood at the door of the ancestral hall of the old house, as if he was Guan Gong on the stage. Ma Yasha nodded with satisfaction, but Zhu Hu looked annoyed. The stiletto man reminded One-Armed Luo to "catch thieves and catch stolen goods." One-Armed Luo laughed and said, "The Badger Fairy is smarter than us. How can she not know how to catch thieves and catch stolen goods?"

Zhu Badger could clearly hear the noise outside in the ancestral hall. She didn't care about Zhu Hu's self-righteousness. She was not surprised by One-Armed Luo's uncharacteristic behavior. What surprised her was why Ma Yasha had changed. Is it possible that her body is now that of her old mother, but her mind is that of an ugly jade? If that's the case, then I am truly the invincible Yaksha.

"Catch the thief and catch the stolen goods. Who are you calling a thief? Where is the stolen goods?" Tian Laizi had wanted to leave for a long time, but his two sons were still blocked in the ancestral hall. His leaving was in vain.

The one-armed Luo strode up to Tian Leizi, looked him up and down for a while, then asked with a big grin: "Why are you so anxious? Are you guilty of being a thief?"

"You're just a thief with a guilty conscience. I'm walking upright and sitting upright. Why do you feel guilty?" Tian Laizi scratched his neck, raised his head, and the melon-skin hat on his head slipped to the snow.

The cross-legged man swayed and stepped firmly on the melon-skin hat. He raised his head and asked the one-armed man: "What does it mean to walk upright and sit upright?"

The one-armed Luo chuckled and pointed at Mr. Zhu with his big hand: "This needs guidance from an expert."

"Wukong, the Monkey King, or the Bodhisattva in the Duanzhe Temple, which one do you think Captain Tian belongs to?" Mr. Zhu asked everyone while shaking his folding fan.

Everyone did not expect that Mr. Zhu would be uncharacteristic of himself today and speak so humorously. They all laughed at Tian Lezi. One asked: "Tian Wukong, how about studying at the Xishan Slutty Woman?" The other said: "A few charms are of no use? That's not it. Please pray more to the Bodhisattva in the temple." The person next to him echoed: "We don't have a temple in the village, so why don't we sneak into the old house and the ancestral hall to worship our ancestors? Our ancestors can't bear the worship of you Tian Lezi."

Tian Lezi was arrogant by nature and had never been ridiculed in public like this before. He has always been the only one who teases others. Who dares to tease him like this? Firstly, no one knows the details of their Tian family, and secondly, Tian Lezi always doesn’t keep his word. Whoever he blackmails will be in bad luck. Also, Tian Leizi has always looked like a desperado. He would do whatever he was determined to do even at the risk of his own life. He was the captain of the private sector in exchange for a peanut from his one-armed Luo stepfather.

This peanut is not a peanut to eat, but a bullet. It stands to reason that the village of Lvluobuo is located deep in the mountains and old forests. Men can shoot hunting rifles and are accustomed to using guns. However, when the people in the town came to the village with a few real guns, they were all timid and did not dare to step forward and fire the first shot. gun. People in the town said that whoever fires the first shot and hits the target will be the captain. One-Armed Luo's stepfather is one of the best hunters in the village, and he is never empty-handed when he goes out with a bludgeon. When he faced the real guy, he still hesitated for a while and naturally missed the target.

Tian Laizi was still young at the time, a young boy of seventeen or eighteen who never interacted much with other men in the old house, and the men didn't pay attention to him, but it was him who only had one peanut left after everyone missed the target. When the time came, he grabbed the real thing and aimed at the target to shoot. How could One-Armed Luo's stepfather be willing to give him his last chance? Step forward to fight. Tian Laizi pulled the trigger, and the last peanut grazed the one-armed Luo stepfather's cheek and hit the bull's-eye without any bias. Tian Laizi naturally became the first and last militia captain of Lvbuo Village.

Now that everyone is ridiculing him, can Tian Laizi not get angry? Especially when the first ones turned out to be the bachelor with one arm and the coffin-flesh Zhu Fan who he despised the most. After the seven or eight waxy hairs on the man's head swayed in the north wind for a while, they stood up like steel wires, indicating that his patience had reached the limit. .

Tian Laizi rushed up to the rocker-legged man, swept the rocker-footed man down with his sweeping kick, stepped on the rocker-legged man with one foot, pointed to his hat that had fallen on the ground with one finger and ordered the rocker-footed man sternly: "Immediately, Pick it up for me right now!"

"You, you, you step on me like this, how, how, how can I pick it up? You, you, let go of me first, let me get up, get up to pick up, get up to pick up." The man with stilts begged Tian with a cry. Leprechaun.

Tian Laizi raised his legs up and down, and kicked the man to the edge of his hat. The cross-legged man lay shivering on the snow and stretched out a hand to pick up his hat. He pulled him up behind him with one arm and cursed: "Aren't you afraid of getting your hands dirty? A man must behave like a man. Don’t fish it all together!”

"Who are you scolding?" Tian Laizi didn't expect One-Armed Luo to dare to challenge him, and glared at One-Armed Luo with wide triangular eyes.

The one-armed man straightened his chest and stared back at Tian Leizi with his two big gong-like eyes, while he responded loudly: "You know I'm scolding you? It seems that this nose can still smell fragrance."

"What do you mean?" The flesh on Tian Laizi's face twitched until it was about to knot.

The one-armed Luo raised his head and laughed, "Hahaha, don't you realize how stinky you are?"

"One-armed, don't get convulsed. You should weigh the weight first." The few hairs on Tian Leizi's head stood up again, and the flesh on his face tightened.

The one-armed Luo smiled even more happily, walked a few steps to Tian Leizi, and said jokingly: "Don't you know how much I weigh? If you don't know, ask your wife, or some of your daughters-in-law. Oh, where is your family? I'm afraid I won't be able to find a wife in this life because I'm still naked, hahaha."

"I'm not in the mood to talk nonsense with you, get out of here, get out of the way." Tian Laizi was furious, but facing the one-armed Luo who was as tall as a mountain, he still didn't dare to take action directly, so he could only say it forcefully.

The one-armed Luo stood in front of Tian Leizi and was not in a hurry to take action. Instead, he looked down at Tian Lezi for a while and then said slowly: "Originally, I wanted to tell you, this thief, to get out immediately, but the Badger Fairy hasn't spoken yet, so I can't let you get out."

"Who are you calling a thief? You have to be responsible for your words." When Tian Leizi heard One-Armed Luo mention the red badger, his triangular eyes couldn't help but glance into the ancestral hall. But One-Armed Luo's sleeve without his arm floated towards his forehead from time to time in the wind, blocking his sight. What was happening to his two sons in the ancestral hall?
One-armed Luo didn't know whether it was intentional or unintentional. He turned to the side, slapped Tian Leizi's face directly with his empty sleeve, and shouted loudly into the ancestral hall: "Catch thieves and stolen goods, Badger Fairy, you still haven't reported the stolen goods to the official." ?”

"What official should I report to? Don't be so silly and shut up!" Zhu Hu said.

When Tian Leizi heard Zhu Hu's words, he felt as if he had been granted amnesty. He raised his hand and tried to lift the empty sleeve of One-Armed Luo covering his face. Unexpectedly, he used too much force, but One-Armed Luo was as stable as a mountain. With a "stab" sound, the empty sleeve of the one-armed Luo was torn off by Tian Leizi.

"This, this, this..." Tian Leizi grabbed the sleeve of One-Armed Luo and was at a loss.

"You, you, you..." The sleeves on the hands of the one-armed Luo Yantian were burning with anger.

Just when the two were about to take action, Zhu Hu said again: "Why are the folks in the village so troublesome? Lezi, you can buy a new dress for Duju later. Duju, you don't need to worry about the ancestral hall. Go back and drink your wine." Old wine.”

"Okay, okay, listen to Uncle Hu's instructions. Big Leibunda and Erlei, come out and go home." Tian Leizi nodded to Zhu Hu and called his two sons into the ancestral hall.

The one-armed Luo refused to give up and asked Zhu Hu: "Why do you want to be a peacemaker? My mother made these clothes for me, and I won't change them for a thousand pieces of gold. Also, my stepfather is an authentic descendant of the old Zhu family. I have to worry about this temple.”

"One-Armed, don't push yourself too far. Do you think you can show your teeth and show your claws when you fall to the Eight Badger Immortals? Let me tell you, Uncle Tiger is the village official of our village and the person in charge of our old house. He has the final say in everything. ." Tian Leizi completely recovered his condition, and his momentum was even higher than before.

(End of this chapter)