Records of Strange People and Strange Events in the Old Mansion

Chapter 26 Wife

"Village official? He's a bird official! Like a raccoon dog, a snake and a rat belong together!" One-armed Luo didn't take Zhu Hu seriously at all.

Zhu Hu didn't care about One-Armed Luo's attitude. He stood on the top step at the entrance of the ancestral hall and raised his hands to the onlookers and said: "It's all gone."

"Scattered? That's easy to say." Ma Yaksha stood opposite Zhu Hu.

Zhu Hu smiled and asked Ma Yasha: "Auntie, are you having dinner in the ancestral hall?"

"Don't you claim to be a village official who can't do anything to the village? Don't you care if a thief steals the treasures in our ancestral hall?" Ma Yasha raised his eyebrows and asked Zhu Hu.

Zhu Hu laughed: "Auntie, what's wrong with being an official? It's just that the town hasn't removed me from my post yet. It's quite cold today, so I'd better go home early for dinner and go to bed early to get warm under the covers, haha."

"Zhu Hu, don't be disrespectful in front of me. I tell you, today you have to give everyone an explanation. How to deal with this thief?" Ma Yaksha took a step forward and glared at Zhu Hu.

Zhu Hu was only 1.68 meters tall and Ma Yaksha was 1.78 meters tall. At the same height, the woman looked taller than the man. Ma Yaksha stood in front of Zhu Hu as if he was overwhelmed by a mountain. Zhu Hu had to raise his head and ask Ma Yaksha. Yaksha: "Auntie, where did the thief come from in broad daylight? Have you cooked dinner? Why don't you come to my house to eat?"

"Are you still beating me up? Okay, I'll do the judging. Everyone, go inside." Ma Yasha said and walked into the ancestral hall.

Zhu Hu took a quick step and stopped Ma Yasha: "Auntie, don't you know that women can't enter this ancestral hall?"

"What if you know? What if you don't know? Get out of the way!" Ma Yasha stretched out his right hand to push Zhu Hu.

Zhu Hu sat down on the threshold and shouted: "Our ancestors have rules that women must not enter the ancestral hall. Even if I risk my life today, I will never let you enter the ancestral hall unless you step over my head and enter."

"You..." Ma Yasha was angry and anxious. His raised left foot froze above the threshold, and the air froze.

When the stalemate reached a stalemate, Mr. Zhu shook his folding fan and said loudly: "As taught by our ancestors, women of the Zhu family in our old house are only not allowed to enter the ancestral hall under three circumstances. One is when the body is unclean, the second is when it violates the patriarchal law, and the third is when she is raped. After being kicked out of the old house.”

"You fart, women have been prohibited from entering any ancestral hall since ancient times. Who doesn't know this?" Tian Leizi shouted at Mr. Zhu.

"Don't be anxious, don't be anxious. You are not our Zhu family and don't know the Zhu family's affairs. You can be forgiven. But if you say that I fart, you have insulted our Zhu family ancestors. A fairy will punish you later. Now you prick up your ears and listen carefully, donkey. The Zhu family in the village is a female ancestor, and the one enshrined in the ancestral hall is Grandma Taizu, the owner of the old house. The mother of the fairy, Ma, is Grandma Taizu’s 18th generation legitimate grandson and wife, so she deserves to be admitted to the ancestral hall." Mr. Zhu is not in a hurry. Said slowly and in a straight tone.

Tian Laizi was unwilling to give in. He had never seen Mr. Zhu in his eyes, especially when Mr. Zhu said that we were the ancestors of the Zhu family. The implication was that he was not a member of the Zhu family, so he rushed to Mr. Zhu and knocked the folding fan off Mr. Zhu's hand. He cursed: "You surnamed Zhu, can't you shake your head and tail to watch the door? I ask you, why can she, the Eight Badger Immortals, enter the ancestral hall?"

"I'll tell you this, but you must first pick up Mr. Zhu's fan and return it to Mr. Zhu respectfully." Zhu Badger stood up in front of Tian Laizi when people arrived.

Tian Laizi took two steps back, squinting his neck and said: "You can't explain why, why should I pick up a fan from his coffin?"

"Okay, I'll tell you first. If you don't pick it up after I tell you, I will ask you, father and son, to settle the accounts together!" Zhu Badger jumped back to the ancestral hall, stood in the middle of the yard and continued: "Dear neighbors, little Women are not talented and often offend, so please bear with me. Today, as Grandma Taizu’s 19th generation granddaughter, I want to announce that from now on, no one will be allowed to enter the Zhu Family Ancestral Hall without my permission!"

"Hey, what did you say? I didn't hear clearly." Zhu Hu had been sitting by the threshold. Seeing Zhu Badger come out to speak, he did not react immediately. He just tilted his head and watched her compete with Tian Lezi. Zhu Hu announced his decision that he would never return. Unable to bear it, he jumped up and questioned Zhu Badger.

Zhu Badger was waiting for Zhu Hu to speak first. She didn't even look at him. She smiled and said to One-Armed Luo: "Brother Luo, there is someone who is hard of hearing and didn't hear clearly what I just said. You have a loud voice and disturbed me just now." Say it again what you announced.”

"Okay!" The one-armed Luo didn't expect that Zhu Badger would call him "Brother Luo" with a smile on his face. He felt so comfortable and proud that he walked to Zhu Hu with a few strides and pulled away. His voice reached its peak, and he repeated the decision made by Zhu Badger word for word.

Zhu Hu's ears were buzzing from the shock, but he did not dare to fight with One-Armed Luo, so he had to smile and said to One-Armed Luo: "Don't cause trouble here, your sister-in-law has heated up the wine, come over quickly." Then Zhu Hu faced Zhu Badger, with a serious face and asked: "What qualifications do you have to announce such a decision?"

"Hey, are you really deaf? The fairy is the 19th generation granddaughter of the great ancestor of the Zhu family in Donbu Village. Isn't this qualification enough?" Mr. Zhu walked up the steps and walked up to Zhu Hu and asked Zhu Hu. .

When Zhu Hu saw Mr. Zhu coming to help, he was furious. He touched Mr. Zhu's nose and cursed loudly: "You immortal thing, I haven't settled the score with you yet. Okay, I will settle the score with you first. I said, I will chop you off directly." Is that rotten claw going to capture you first and take you to the village?"

"You, you, you..." Mr. Zhu was so angry that he couldn't speak. He shook his fan habitually. Unfortunately, the fan had been knocked to the ground by Tian Laizi before he could pick it up. The waving of his hand became a surrender to Zhu Hu and begging for mercy.

Zhu Hu thought Mr. Zhu was scared, so he raised his fist and hit Mr. Zhu in the chest with great satisfaction. The one-armed Luo standing behind Mr. Zhu wanted to get Mr. Zhu behind him, but it was too late, so he could only worry. The others couldn't help but take a breath of air, and timidly simply closed their eyes. After a while, I didn't hear the sound of Mr. Zhu falling to the ground, but heard Zhu Hu's begging for mercy. I slowly opened my eyes and saw a thin dog with its canthus cracked and its big mouth open, revealing its fangs. Linlin stood in front of Zhu Hu, who fell to the ground and trembled.

"Quier, come back. Zhu Hu, how are you? Am I qualified to announce the decision? Do you still want to settle the score with Mr. Zhu?" Zhu Badger called back Xi Quan and asked Zhu Hu.

After Zhu Hu was sure that Xi Quan was gone, he got up from the ground, dusted himself off, and replied to Zhu Badger in a tone of voice: "You have the qualifications, but I am a village official, and I have the right to take care of the village's affairs. Also, What kind of skills do you have when you unleash a dog to bite someone? At the most serious level, it’s intentional injury. I can definitely call the police in the town and arrest you and lock you up for a few days. Besides, the fact that he’s an old man eating my wife’s tofu is evidence. Indeed, whether as a husband or a village official, I must seek justice and deal with it."

"Okay, hurry up and call the police in the town. I will also report it and ask them to come to our village to catch the thieves, three male thieves and one female thieves. By the way, we will also deal with the matter of the living widow seducing the old gentleman. I also have solid evidence." After Zhu Badger said this slowly, he turned around and walked to Tian Da Lei and Tian Er Lei.

Tian Da Le and Tian Er Le were surrounded by eight thin dogs. It was difficult to escape and reach the sky. Tian Laizi stood at the door of the ancestral hall and saw Zhu Badger walking to his two sons. He just said that he would call the police and ask people from the town to come to the village to catch the thieves. He was so anxious that he kept winking at Zhu Hu.

Zhu Hu ignored Tian Leizi, coughed his throat and asked Zhu Badger: "You said that my wife seduced this old immortal coffin man? Who believes it?"

"Oh, you admit that your wife is a living widow? You mean that only if your wife seduces a one-armed man or a rocker-legged man, will everyone believe it? Hahaha..." Zhu Badger couldn't stop laughing.

Zhu Hu's face turned red and white, and he stammered: "You, you, you, show me the evidence."

Zhu Hu asked Zhu Badger to provide evidence, Zhu Badger whistled towards the ancestral hall stage, and Dan'er stood at the stage gate and smiled at everyone.

Seeing that it was Dan'er, Zhu Hu's face turned from red and white to livid, and he breathed out his nose and said disdainfully: "Humph, he is just a fool? You want him to testify? You might as well let your dogs testify for you. "

"Who are you scolding? Who are you scolding? You are worse than those dogs of the Fairy." Dan'er's mother rushed to Zhu Hu. She only got Dan'er when she was over forty years old, and now she is in her sixties. If she regards her eggs as a treasure, how can she allow others to slander her eggs?
Zhu Hu knew that Dan'er was suffering from asthma and epilepsy and was not to be messed with. If she had epilepsy and asthma, she would probably have to feed Dan'er for the rest of her life after losing the money for the coffin. So Zhu Hu refused to argue with Dan'er and shouted to Zhu Badger: "Do you have the ability to ask him to provide evidence?"

Zhu Badger shouted to Dan'er: "Tell me, let's have dinner at my house." "Okay!" Dan'er agreed, standing by the fence of the stage gatehouse and imitating the cross-eyed woman: "Mr. Zhu, my goat milk is delicious, isn't it? ? In fact, mine is more delicious. Do you want to try it? Don’t worry, it doesn’t matter if that damn ghost of mine comes back. He never touches me anyway. Mr. Zhu, what are you running from? Mr. Zhu, I let you eat it, I I won’t charge you more for your goat’s milk. What I like is your knowledge..."

Dan'er imitated Squint-eye Po perfectly, and even his voice was not bad at all. Just when he was getting into the mood, Squint-eye Po rushed into the ancestral hall and rushed to the stage and yelled: "Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong!"

Dan'er was stunned on the gate, and Zhu Badger calmly asked Granny Xianyan: "What's wrong? Didn't you say that?"

"The first thing I said is right, but the last thing is wrong. What I like is not Mr. Zhu's knowledge, but Mr. Zhu's magical power." Squinty-eyed woman explained to Zhu Badger seriously.

Zhu Badger was happy in his heart, but he pretended to be surprised and asked: "Supernatural power? What magical power does Mr. Zhu have? Why don't I know? Do you all know about it?"

"I don't know!" Everyone answered in unison. After answering, everyone covered their mouths and smiled. Only Zhu Hu was so anxious that he stamped his feet. If it weren't for the one-armed Luo blocking him, there would be eight slender beasts surrounding Tian Da Lei and Tian Er Lei. The dog stared at him eagerly, and he wanted to go up and slap the cross-eyed woman twice.

Seeing everyone's curiosity, the cross-eyed woman shyly twisted her fat butt and said, "It seems that I am the only one who knows? Then I can't tell you."

"How could you do this? Tell us, we really want to know, don't you think so?" Zhu Badger teased.

"Yes, tell me quickly, what kind of magical power does Mr. Zhu have?" "Don't tell me, mother-in-law, tell me what kind of magical power Mr. Zhu has? I can learn from it so that you can like me too." The one-armed Luo and the stiletto man started to cheer. .

The squinty-eyed woman thought she was very glorious, and responded shyly: "You bastard, cross-footed man, you always take advantage of me. I wait for you to come and do it for real, but you are nowhere to be seen. I tell you, if you really If you have such magical power as Mr. Zhu, I will definitely come to your house by myself..."

"Shut up!" Zhu Hu became angry and shouted at the cross-eyed woman: "You stinky woman, go home right away!"

Unexpectedly, the squinty-eyed woman didn't buy Zhu Hu's account, and responded to Zhu Hu with a stern face: "Go home? Is there room for me in the house? I've already had enough of you, this coward, and you even gave that woman foot-washing water." Are you still a man in front of me? If you have the ability to go home and attack her!"

"You, you, you, I'll beat you to death, you stinky bitch!" Zhu Hu wanted to rush over, but was afraid of the eight thin dogs, so he could only stay in a rage.

The one-armed Luo was happy to see it, and he smiled and persuaded Zhu Hu: "Don't be angry, don't be angry, it will hurt your body. You are more or less a village official. As the saying goes, the prime minister's belly can support the boat, and your belly can support the boat. If you don’t have a footbath, you can always turn around a few times, right?”

"The one-armed saying makes sense. Madam of the village official, please go on and tell me what kind of magical power Mr. Zhu has? I will definitely learn it all night and let you come to my house all night." The stilt-legged man booed.

The squinty-eyed woman returned to her shy state, and Jiao Didi said: "You only have lip service, Mr. Zhu's is the real skill."

"Hey, hey, hey, from the Zhu Hu family, you can never trust your words. This is an ancestral hall, so you can't tarnish Grandma Taizu." Mr. Zhu was so anxious that he sweated profusely, so he had to use his palms as a fan and shake them. stop.

Zhu Badger looked amused and said loudly: "Sir, don't worry, Grandma Taizu really wants to know what kind of magical power you have?"

"Really? Then I have to talk about it." The squinty-eyed woman didn't wait for Mr. Zhu to respond to Zhu Badger, and talked about the magical power that Mr. Zhu possessed.

The cross-eyed woman said that that day she delivered goat milk to Mr. Zhu. When she saw that Mr. Zhu had the door closed, she thought he was catching up on his sleep after returning from Dongshan Zhanzhuang, so she did not disturb him and sat on an authentic stone bench in the yard to wait. Waiting and waiting, when Mr. Zhu didn't get up at dawn, he would lie down at the crack of the window and look around. It didn't matter if he didn't look at him. Once he saw it, he would never leave the window again.

Mr. Zhu was taking a bath, and the gurgling water poured on his shiny body. It aroused not only the surge of hormones in the cross-eyed woman, but also the urge to rush in, hug and kiss Mr. Zhu. Of course, the cross-eyed woman didn't know anything about hormones, nor about hugs and kisses. She just felt that her body was hot and uncomfortable. She wouldn't believe it even to her death. In all likelihood, Mr. Zhu's body would be even stronger than that of a young man, and his bulging brass-colored chest muscles made the squinty-eyed woman swallow her saliva. This is nothing, what makes the cross-eyed woman tremble is Mr. Zhu’s Zhongtian.

Mr. Zhu used a wooden ladle to scoop water from a bucket and poured it on himself to bathe. Where was the bucket placed? "You will die three times and you won't believe it!" These were the exact words of the cross-eyed woman. The cross-eyed woman said that Mr. Zhu actually hung a bucket full of water in his mid-heaven. He was enjoying himself by ladling water and pouring it on himself while reciting ancient poems.

"Is it possible? Could a bucket be hung there?"

"Not to mention a bucket full of bathwater, it's impossible to hang an empty bucket."

"Don't you have such wild imagination that you see radish flowers in your eyes, leeks as wheat, and yams as iron rods?"

"..."

Everyone questioned the cross-eyed woman one after another, even Zhu Badger couldn't believe it.

The squinty-eyed woman rushed to Mr. Zhu in a hurry, grabbed the corner of Mr. Zhu's clothes and said hastily: "Mr. Zhu, I didn't lie, did I? You might as well take off your clothes and let them take a good look."

"Nonsense, women are shameless, women are snakes and scorpions, women are vicious, how can this old man be as knowledgeable as a woman like you." Mr. Zhu walked away without even bothering to pick up the fan that was still on the ground.

"Hahaha..." Zhu Badger laughed. After laughing for a while, he asked Zhu Hu: "Hey, how is your wife?"

Zhu Hu's face was alternately red, green, purple, black and white, like a palette. His plump lips opened and closed for a long time before he uttered a sentence bitterly: "I don't have such a woman." !" Then, he turned around and left.

"You want to leave? No way!" Zhu Badger whistled, and two thin dogs jumped up and rushed in front of Zhu Hu like lightning, grabbing his trouser legs one on the left and the other on the right.

Zhu Hu's legs went weak and he collapsed at the threshold of the ancestral hall. He stammered and asked Zhu Badger: "You, you, what do you want?"

"What do you want? It's very simple, tell the truth and accept the punishment!" Zhu Badger's voice passed through the sky above the ancestral hall, penetrated the door of the ancestral hall, and resounded over the old house.

Zhu Hu trembled, rolled his eyes for a while and asked: "Tell the truth? What truth can I tell? Didn't that woman tell the truth? The green on my head can't be green anymore, what else do you want from me?" "

"The greenest is your own business. It has nothing to do with us. Can you tell the truth about what happened to that woman? Were the Tian family father and son instigated by that woman to come to the ancestral hall to steal? If you tell a lie, my dog ​​will bite you. The lifeblood." After Zhu Badger said this, he couldn't help but want to laugh.

(End of this chapter)