Records of Strange People and Strange Events in the Old Mansion

Chapter 45 Broken

The lightning struck the weasel directly, and the weasel lay straight on the ground in fright. Then a big thunder shook the old kerosene gas lamp hanging on the weasel's head. The gas lamp fell and hit the weasel's legs heavily.

"Ouch, ouch, ouch..."

After the big thunder, the villagers who came to eat were shocked and looked at the red badger.

Zhu Badger's face was full of anger, and he cursed the weasel lying on the ground wailing: "You shameless guy deserves to have his legs broken. Weasel, let me tell you, originally I didn't want to argue with you and your family anymore. But you challenged me again and again. The bottom line is, if you insult my father on earth and my father in heaven, I can forgive you, but my father in heaven will not forgive you."

"Fairy, calm down. Fairy, calm down. My man drank a few too many glasses of wine and said drunken things. Don't take it seriously. Don't take it seriously. Fairy, you don't remember the faults of villains. The prime minister can hold a boat in his belly. Please be generous and spare him this time. He has already had his legs smashed by a gas lamp and has received retribution. I beg you, please spare him this time." Huang Doujiang knelt down in front of Zhu Badger and kowtowed to beg for mercy.

Zhu Badger didn't want to look at Huang Doujiang, so he turned around and said, "I don't have the final say whether to spare him or not. It has to be my father on earth and my father in heaven. The two fathers have the final say."

"Thank you fairy, thank you fairy, I will beg for mercy from your father on earth and your father in heaven." Huang Doujiang knelt down to Zhu Yunshan, who stood up and helped her up, and said calmly: "We are both from the old house. Why bother each other? Take Brother Huang back to heal." "Thank you, Brother Yunshan. Our family will always remember your magnanimity and will never forget it. We are grateful and we can repay you endlessly..."

"Hey, you haven't begged my father in heaven yet, do you beg me? If you don't beg me, let him give you a retribution in this world." Seeing Huang Doujiang holding Zhu Yunshan's hands and mixing the bean paste, Zhu Badger shouted and asked she.

"Please, please, I must beg." Huang Doujiang knelt down on the ground again and kowtowed to the west mountain. While kowtowing, he begged for mercy: "Your Majesty, the Jade Emperor, I am a common woman who begs you for my man. Fairy, she is your daughter, our mountain village The untouchables have no eyes, and they have the eyes not to recognize the mountains. You, sir, do not remember the faults of the villains. The prime minister can support a boat in his belly. Please be noble and spare him this time. He has already had his feet smashed by a gas lamp and has received retribution. I beg you. Please spare him this time..."

Zhu Badger frowned, interrupted Huang Doujiang and continued to beg: "Nao Xi, do you still mix that little Doujiang that you keep mixing all day long? Get up, let me ask my father in heaven for you. .”

"Thank you, Fairy. Fairy, you are really a kind person with a beautiful heart, a Bodhisattva heart..." "Come on, I won't ask you to mess with Doujiang again." Zhu Badger pushed Huangdoujiang away, and Huangdoujiang stood up in a polite manner. aside. Zhu Badger faced the west and opened his arms and shouted with a smile: "Hey, my father in heaven, don't be angry. It's not them who have the final say whether I am a bastard in my past life or this life. You know best in your heart. Today I am on earth. Dad is back, so don't scare people with lightning and thunder. The neighbors haven't eaten yet, so why don't you let the sky light up for a while, so that everyone doesn't get the food in their noses."

As soon as Zhu Badger finished speaking, the raging sunset spread out in the western sky that was originally covered with dark clouds. It was another beautiful dusk in the village, even brighter than before.

"Fairy, 100% fairy!" Huang Doujiang rushed over and hugged Zhu Badger and cried. Zhu Badger pushed Huang Doujiang away hard and scolded: "What are you messing with again? If you don't drag your man back, I will let him go to Nanshan to accompany Weasel."

"Drag, drag, drag. Hey, eldest daughter, eldest son-in-law, come here and help me. Your father's broken legs are as heavy as a dead dog." Huang Doujiang went over to help the weasel, but the weasel pushed him away. She scolded: "You are a dead dog, I will crawl back by myself."

"That's great, Dad, then you can crawl back by yourself. I'm not full yet. Damn it, the food cooked by Fatty Zhu is so delicious." Daylily never left her seat. On that table, I never put down my chopsticks and never stopped eating. No matter it was the weasel, Huang Doujiang and Zhu Badger making noise or thunder and lightning, even if the weasel had his legs broken by a gas lamp, she still kept eating.

Huang Doujiang was so angry that she grabbed Huanglili's ear and yelled: "Whose mother are you robbing? Your father is like that and you only know how to eat? If your mother died, would you still eat?" "Mom, if you die, you will have to ask Fatty Zhu to cook this dish for the banquet. His cooking is really delicious. However, if he cooks it at my house, it will not be as delicious as the fairy's house. Then I will have to invite the fairy to come and eat you. It’s a funeral meal, so Fatty Zhu wouldn’t dare not cook it well.” Huangliang completely ignored Huang Doujiang’s hold on her ears and still kept stuffing food into her mouth.

Zhu Badger looked funny and listened even funnier. It was hard to imagine that Daylily and Okra could be siblings from the same father and mother. One was as rotten as a winter melon, the other was as beautiful as a flower, the other was heartless and a complete foodie, and the other only had money in his eyes. The standard is a gold thief. Foodies and gold thieves have one thing in common, that is, they are greedy. One is greedy for food, and the other is greedy for money. There is also the fact that the two of them have a few plugs in their mouths, and they dare to say anything and can say anything. Zhu Badger couldn't figure out why the big boss in the provincial capital fell in love with her, Huang Okra? And how could she, Huang Okra, control the wind and rain in the provincial capital? Is it true that money can make all the difference as she said?
Seeing that the soybean paste and day lily were still being mixed at the dinner table, and the weasel had climbed several meters away on its own, almost under the persimmon tree of the cross-eyed mother-in-law's house, Zhu Badger couldn't stand it anymore, so he went over and called the Pig Killer: " Your wife is stupid, but you are not stupid, right? Why don't you get up and carry your father-in-law back?"

"Fairy, my father-in-law is very powerful. He climbed home right away on such a short journey. Also, my mother said that from now on, my mother and I will stand firmly on your side. Your enemies are our enemies, haha." After the pig-butcher laughed, he still exchanged glasses with the one-armed man and the rocker-legged man sitting next to him. Today, he specially sat next to the one-armed man and the rocker-legged man, toasting to them from time to time, trying his best to please them two.

Zhu Badger didn't want to waste words with the Pig Killer, so he turned around and looked under the persimmon tree. He saw that the weasel was no longer there. It seemed that the gas lamp only injured his two feet, not broke them at all. Such a ruthless character must always be vigilant. Now that he has completely turned his back, the next step is to fight with real swords and guns. Zhu Badger turned around and saw the flat-mouthed old woman going over to toast Zhu Yunshan and Mr. Zhu. Her face was full of kindness and she was a completely well-behaved old lady from the mountain village. Huh, this pouty-mouthed woman seems to be more on guard. She can adapt to the wind, bend and stretch, she can speak human words in front of people, but she can tell ghosts in front of others. Maybe at some point her charms and wooden sword will stick to my forehead and stab my heart.

Bah, bah, bah, Zhu Badger remembered that he was pretending to be dead under the big camphor tree and was spat on by the flat-mouthed woman. He felt nauseated, his whole stomach was churning, and his lower abdomen was cramping, and he hurriedly ran to his hut.

Just as he was about to open the door and go in to deal with it, he heard someone talking softly inside. Zhu Badger ignored the pain in his stomach and hid aside and squatted down to eavesdrop.

"Sister Liu, isn't Badger Badger's father's feet good? Then why does Huang Okra have broken legs?"

"You have to ask Badger Badger or her father? Maybe this isn't true."

"It's not true? It's impossible. My aunt and the people in the village can't tell the truth?"

"When the truth is false, the false is also true. When the false is true, the true is also false. The true is true and false, the false is true. Who can tell the truth about some people and things?"

"Sister Liu, what you say is so profound. If you don't know it, you can't really mean it, right?"

"Huanhuan, am I really not important to you? As long as my gender is true, you can rest assured."

"why?"

"What do you think, hehe..."

The two of them went to the latrine to chat.

Zhu Badger heard Lu Huan's question, which was strange, and Lan Yuliu's answer was mysterious. He wanted to listen for a while longer to find out which of the two of them was true and which was false? Or are they all wearing a mask? Unfortunately, the pain in my stomach was too painful, so I had to tiptoe back a short distance, straightened up and stepped on my feet deliberately, kicked over a chicken feeding basin next to me, and headed towards the latrine.

"Hey, hey, there's someone inside." Lu Huan called out from the hut.

"Are you finished? My fairy has a severe stomachache. I can't bear it anymore." Zhu Badger reached out and pushed the wooden door of the hut. It was said to be a door, but in fact it was just a big wooden board. Most people in the mountains were like this.

Lu Huan laughed playfully: "Fairies also have stomachaches? Aren't fairies supposed to avoid eating the fireworks of the world?"

"Let's get out quickly and let Badger deal with it." Lan Yuliu Lalu came out of the hut.

"Nao Xi is in jail, how about two of us going to the latrine together?" Zhu Badger pretended to have just discovered that Lan Yuliu was also in the latrine.

Lan Yuliu responded: "Huanhuan is scared, saying that everyone in the village is here, and it will be terrible if he bumps into that wild boy."

"Just swing a hot water bottle. Once the hot water bottle is put down, all the big guys and little ones will run away. I want you to come over and pull me together. Is it possible that I can pull him faster?" Zhu Badger scolded him angrily. Lu Huan patted the door of the latrine and said loudly: "La La La, just pull slowly. Sister Liu and I will go there first."

Hearing the footsteps of Lu Huan and Lan Yuliu walking away, Zhu Badger began to release as much as he could. While releasing, he was thinking about how to distinguish the authenticity of the two people.

Lu Huan and Lan Yuliu are definitely extraordinary. I used to think that Lan Yuliu was extraordinary. I thought that Lu Huan was just Zhu Badger's working friend in the provincial capital and accidentally came to Lvbubu Village. Now think about it, is it true? It's so simple. Go to town and call Lu Huan's parents. Her father's words "It's fate, fate" seem to have a profound meaning. We need to find out clearly. Lan Yuliu and Lu Huan had never known each other before, but in just a few days, they actually became good friends, good sisters, and even best friends who talked about everything. Of course, this was just Zhu Badger's guess. What was the relationship between the two? Not to the point of talking about everything, only they themselves understand each other. Maybe they all have their own agendas, each has their own desires, they are taking advantage of each other, and they are acting out each other.

What is the plan of Lan Yuliu and Lu Huan when they came to Donkeybu Village and tried every means to move into the old house and into their own home? Could it be that Mr. Zhu really came here to "seek revenge and steal treasure"? It's possible for Lan Yuliu, and it's definitely impossible for Lu Huan, but her simplicity and innocence feel more and more like they're just fake. It's just that they had little contact with her before and couldn't see it. Now that they get along with her every day and night, they can see it all at once.

Alas, in the past, a flat-mouthed woman was enough for Zhu Badger to deal with, but now it is even more troublesome to kill Huang Okra. Unexpectedly, Lan Yuliu and Lu Huan are here, and they live in their own home every day, almost always together.

Hey, blue jade willow? Lu Huan? Could it be that the "willow green" in Grandma Taizu's dream, "willow green arrives, the old house will be safe" is "liulu"? The pronunciation of "Green" and "Lu" are similar in the dialect of Lübubucun. In that case, Lan Yuliu and Lu Huan came to Lvbubu Village and moved into my old house. Is that a good thing? Can the old house be safe?

Is not it? I rolled into Taiping Pond and almost froze to death and was stabbed to death by a flat-mouthed woman with a wooden sword. If Lu Huan and Lan Yuliu hadn't secretly helped me, would I still be alive today? Also, without the seamless cooperation between Lu Huan and Lan Yuliu, would I be able to pretend to be a fairy in front of Huang Qiukui and act like a fairy in front of my neighbors?

Zhu Badger was full of surprises. If what Grandma Taizu said in her dream was "Liu Lu is here, the old house is safe", then Lan Yuliu and Lu Huan were her nobles, so she shouldn't have any feelings for them. Instead of being on guard, we should dig deep into our hearts and souls, discuss all matters big and small with them, and deal with Huang Okra and the flat-mouthed woman together. Wouldn't it be a sure win? Does the old house need to be renovated?
Just when Zhu Badger was thinking happily and feeling comfortable, the voices of two people came.

"Why don't you go back to your own house? Do you have to go to her hut?"

"Naturally there are particularities."

"What's the point of shitting? Isn't it just a matter of taking off, squatting, pulling and wiping?"

"You know what the heck! If we go back, there is no chance of us going back and entering her home. Even if it is possible, she will see that we are determined."

"Then read the flaw, I've heard it from Mr. Zhu several times."

"If you mention that old thing in front of me again in the future, be careful that I will leave you in this shabby mountain village and a shabby house forever."

"Okay, okay, if I don't mention it, I won't mention it. Hey, do you think our shabby house will definitely be demolished?"

"Definitely, a hundred are certain, a thousand are certain, ten thousand are certain."

"I don't think so. She has become a real fairy. There is no way she will let the old house be demolished."

"What's the use of a fairy? Only with money can you have everything. Besides, Huang Qiukui is already the village official of the village, and she has the final say in everything."

"She has the final say? So she's still running away today? And she's letting Dou Sprout welcome Zhu Yunshan home?"

"You know what the heck, I'm trying to make progress by retreating. She didn't go back to the provincial capital because of bean sprouts. She can't get used to living in this shabby mountain village. She told me early this morning that she wasn't at home at all last night. It’s too cold to sleep.”

"Where will she sleep if she doesn't sleep at home? Is it possible that it's hotter outside than at home?"

"She and the people she brought were all sleeping in the car with the air conditioner on."

"Heat air conditioner? What is heat air conditioner? Is it hotter than a charcoal pot?"

"You know what a fool. It's so cold for Yuliu to live in such a shabby house. Not to mention that there is no heating and air conditioning. Then Ma Yasha might not even be willing to make a charcoal pot."

"You know, you know her shit, go and shit yourself."

"Hey, hey, hey, didn't I tell you that we don't have that relationship at all? We all want to live in a big villa in the city in the future. You accompany me into the hut, I always feel that any place in her house is creepy Panic."

"You are just a tiger to me, but a sick cat in front of others, especially in front of her."

"If you don't want her, her, her, go and get that board away. Why is this Ma Yaksha only using a board to block the cesspit? Can Yuliu get in?"

"You ask your Yuliu to pull with you, I'm in a bad mood."

"Hey, hey, don't leave. How can I pull you away if you leave?"

"Meow……"

Zhu Badger was squatting in the manure pit and screeched a shrill meow. Zhu Hu was so frightened that he turned around and ran away. He bumped into the cross-eyed woman who was looking back towards the latrine. As a result, the couple fell to the ground and couldn't get up for a long time.

Lan Yuliu and Lu Huan saw Zhu Badger not going back for such a long time, so they came over to see Zhu Badger. On the way, they saw Zhu Hu and Xianyanpo both falling on the ground, and asked what happened? Zhu Hu stammered and couldn't answer, and the cross-eyed woman choked Lan Yuliu angrily: "My husband and my wife are lying on the ground loving each other. What's wrong with you?"

Lan Yuliu covered her mouth and smiled: "It doesn't bother me at all. You continue to be affectionate and affectionate."

Lu Huan laughed even louder and bent down to ask the squinty-eyed woman: "How do you couple in Lvbui Village love each other so much? Do you want me to call someone to help? You two are very old and you don't have a son and a half, right?" Are you going to create humans?" "You have to take care of it, little grass chicken!" The squinty-eyed woman rolled up from the ground.

"Hmph, Lu Dongbin doesn't know a good heart when a dog bites him. He deserves to be exterminated!" Lu Huan showed no sign of weakness.

"Who are you calling a dog? Who are you calling extinct?" The cross-eyed woman asked Lu Huan without even patting the dust on her body.

Lan Yuliu went over to persuade her: "Okay, okay, don't make any noise. The fairy is in the hut. You make her unable to get out. Be careful of being punished."

"Ah? She's in the latrine? Why is she in the latrine?" The cross-eyed woman trembled and pressed against Zhu Hu, who was about to stand up. The couple fell to the ground again.

(End of this chapter)