Records of Strange People and Strange Events in the Old Mansion

Chapter 57 Cannon

Daylily drooled, Zhu Badger laughed in his heart, turned around and shouted in the direction of the tomb: "Stop it!"

Zhu Badger shouted, and everyone stopped moving their hands and feet and looked up at Zhu Badger.

Zhu Badger continued to shout: "Take care of yourself, are you standing in the graveyard during the Chinese New Year and not afraid of bad luck? Come down and listen to what I have to say."

Everyone scrambled to run down, leaving the flat-mouthed woman lying alone beside the tomb, with a bruised nose and swollen face, a bleeding mouth, and she was neither a human nor a ghost.

Seeing everyone standing in a circle around him, Zhu Badger raised his hand and pointed at the flat-mouthed woman, and cursed: "If you are a good person and don't do crooked things, if you want to do something evil, okay, I will help you. From today on, I will let you live in the tomb, you are not Have you moved all your belongings into the tomb?"

Everyone was silent. Butcher and Daylily glanced at Zhu Badger secretly. Zhu Badger raised his voice and said: "I have something to say. Whoever dares to take her back to live in her home will not be spared by this fairy!"

After Zhu Badger finished speaking, his big black eyes scanned the crowd. Everyone either nodded or lowered their head, and no one dared to say anything. The butcher glanced at Zhu Badger quickly and quickly looked away, lowering his head to touch his chest. Day Lily was a little indifferent, her eyes still rested on Zhu Badger, but she didn't dare to look at him.

"Uncle Lang, Aunt Jiang, Sister Huicai and Brother Pig Butcher are your daughters and sons-in-law after all. If a good family is burned down, you have to take them in, right?" Zhu Badger asked Weasel and Huang Doujiang.

Weasel and Huang Doujiang looked at each other, and responded to Zhu Badger one after another: "Yes, they are the daughter and son-in-law after all." "Fairy, you are right, we must take them in."

"Okay, now you take them home. Everyone, go home. Sister Liu, where is Huanhuan? Let's go fire the cannon. Dan'er, let's go." Zhu Badger greeted Lan Yuliu and Dan'er to come down the mountain.

"Hey, hey, fairy..." Huang Doujiang caught up with Zhu Badger and stopped talking.

"Are you asking if you can take them back to your old home? Do you still have a home outside without taking them back to your old home? Remember, don't mess around after you take them to live in your old home." Zhu Badger warned Huang Doujiang, turning his head and scanning his eyes. He glanced at the weasel, the butcher, and the day lily.

"No, no, no, don't worry, fairy, don't worry, fairy." Huang Doujiang responded repeatedly and went back to take Huanglili's hand and go back to the old house.

Zhu Badger walked towards the intersection, Dan'er jumped beside him and raised his head and asked: "Sister, am I okay with crying?"

"You have to ask this sister if it's okay to cry. You can ask me later if the cannon is fired." Zhu Badger touched Dan'er's head and smiled brightly at Lan Yuliu.

Lan Yuliu smiled back, stretched out her hand to touch Dan'er's head, and said, "Crying is just to laugh better. Shooting well is the real skill."

"Sister, I also want to shoot something this year." Dan'er looked up at Zhu Badger. He didn't like Lan Yuliu touching his head.

Zhu Badger saw Dan'er's thoughts, pulled Lan Yuliu to his side, and asked Lan Yuliu: "Do you know how to set off cannons?"

"I heard from Brother Hu that you didn't have fireworks here before, but you used to set off bamboo cannons during the New Year." Lan Yuliu smoothed her scattered bangs gracefully.

Zhu Badger was enamored by Lan Yuliu's elegance and beauty, and thought, how did this man who never left the village get here these days? I'm afraid none of them had a good night's sleep, right?
Seeing Zhu Badger just holding Dan'er in hand and walking quickly forward, Lan Yuliu followed closely and asked, "What? Did I say something wrong?"

"Bamboo crackers are firecrackers, and firecrackers in fireworks refer to firecrackers." Zhu Badger responded to Lan Yuliu.

"Oh, I understand. The one-year-old firecracker in the sound of firecrackers refers to the bamboo cannons here, and the firecrackers in fireworks and firecrackers refer to firecrackers." Lan Yuliu looked like he suddenly understood.

"Do you really understand? Don't pretend to understand." Zhu Badger looked back at Lan Yuliu, stopped and waited for her to come up and continued: "Let me put it more vividly, the firecrackers of okra are firecrackers , my firecrackers are bamboo cannons."

"Haha, it's quite vivid." Lan Yuliu smiled.

"Really? Then, will you set off her firecrackers or my bamboo crackers later?" Zhu Badger asked Lan Yuliu. Lan Yuliu didn't even hiccup and directly answered Zhu Badger: "I will shoot your bamboo cannons anytime."

"My bamboo firecrackers are much more dangerous than her firecrackers, but they are not as loud as hers." Zhu Badger glanced sideways at Lan Yuliu's facial expression. Lan Yuliu still smiled and said: "I like to play exciting games quietly and don't like too much movement."

"That's good. If there's too much noise then, exit immediately." After Zhu Badger said this, he walked over to Lu Huan, who was already waiting impatiently.

When Lu Huan saw Zhu Badger and Lan Yuliu coming over, he pouted and scolded: "I almost froze to death. It took me so long to come here and I opened the door."

"As long as you are the first one to fire it, it will open the door." Zhu Badger picked up a bamboo cannon stacked on the ground.

The so-called bamboo firecrackers are firecrackers made of moso bamboo. Lvbuo Village is located in a remote area with high mountains and long roads. It is inconvenient to go to the city to buy fireworks and firecrackers, and we are reluctant to spend the money to buy them. We only set off bamboo firecrackers during the Chinese New Year.

The skill of making this bamboo cannon is almost mastered by adults. It is to cut down the big bamboo from the mountain and take it home. Cut the two bamboo joints into small sections, dig a small hole in the bamboo joint, and pour saltpeter, sulfur and charcoal into the hole. , bury the hemp rope with the medicine as a fuse, and just light the fuse when setting off the cannon.

There is an ancient volcanic area in Lvbuo Village, where there is sulfur stone that can be excavated and used to make bamboo cannons. Of course, the purity is not high. The saltpeter used to make bamboo cannons is extracted by the villagers from the soil beside the latrine. The method is very simple, that is, collect the soil and plant ash, mix them together, soak them in water for a period of time, and then boil them over fire. During the cooking process, pour the boiling water into another place from time to time. In a container, the solid solidified in the container is saltpeter. Like sulfur, the purity of saltpeter is not high, and the quantity is not large. Generally, it can only be used to make one bamboo cannon.

Every Chinese New Year, each house in Lvbuo Village only sets off one bamboo cannon, which is the so-called door-opening cannon. The owner of the old house must be the first to set off the opening cannon, and then every household competes to set it off.

Nowadays, there are not many people who continue to make bamboo firecrackers. Those who go out to work always bring some fireworks and firecrackers back when they come back for the New Year. Who would bother to make bamboo firecrackers? Huang Okra took a truckload of fireworks and firecrackers to sell under the big camphor tree, and even those who had already made bamboo firecrackers were discarded.

Zhu Badger picked up the bamboo cannons and said that the cannons she fired were still bamboo cannons and would always be so.

Zhu Badger first inspected the intersection with bamboo firecrackers in hand, and was very satisfied when she saw that those who sold fireworks and firecrackers had moved out half a mile away according to her request.

In order to prevent people from setting off fireworks and firecrackers causing fires in the old house, Zhu Badger took eight thin dogs and eight pig badgers five days ago and went door to door to warn anyone who dared to set off fireworks in or near the old house. Fireworks and firecrackers, she first set off small dogs and pigs and badgers to kill your family, and then dragged your bodies to the altar at the intersection, so that you would never be reincarnated.

Naturally, everyone was afraid. A few young guys couldn't restrain themselves and wanted to secretly set off one or two. However, they were discovered in time by the patrolling thin dogs and pig badgers. They tore their clothes and pants and ran away to go home, not daring to do it again.

In the past few days, Zhu Badger's eight thin dogs and eight pig badgers were grouped into groups to patrol inside and outside the old house. Once they found someone setting off fireworks and firecrackers, they would attack immediately.

Eight thin dogs and eight pig badgers were extremely sensitive to fire. Zhu Badger let the thin dogs and pig badgers look and smell all the fireworks and firecrackers that Ma Yasha bought from Huang Okra, so that they would remember that once they saw someone in the fire Use fire to light fireworks and firecrackers in and near the old house, bite him no matter what!

"Fairy, why haven't you ordered yet?" Tian Xiao Lei urged Zhu Badger not far away. He, Tian Da Lei and Tian Er Lei had already been waiting impatiently. If they weren't afraid of the eight thin dogs and eight pig badgers, they would have waited. No matter if you are the owner of the old house, what if they fire the cannon first?
"Don't worry, wait until she comes back!" Zhu Badger was leisurely holding a bamboo cannon in his hand. "Her? Who?" Lan Yuliu asked.

Zhu Badger did not respond to Lan Yuliu. When a thin dog flew to his feet, a piece of fragrance pinched in his left hand quickly ignited the fuse of the bamboo cannon in his right hand.

"Bang!" Although the voice was not particularly loud, it was crisp.

As the bamboo cannon in Zhu Badger's hand soared into the air, Tian Xiaolei couldn't wait to light his own fireworks, but after lighting them three times, there was no response from the fireworks. Not only Tian Xiaolei's fireworks couldn't light up, but also Tian Dalei's, Tian Erlei's and other people's fireworks couldn't light up at all.

"Bang!" After Zhu Badger released the second bamboo firecracker, Tian Xiaolei became even more anxious. He kicked over several fireworks placed on the ground and put up a big one again, but after lighting it five times, it still didn't light up.

"Dan'er, come and put one in." Zhu Badger handed a bamboo cannon to Dan'er. Dan'er took the bamboo cannon and hesitated for a while before taking Qingxiang from Zhu Badger's hand. He pinched Qingxiang in his right hand and held the egg of the bamboo firecracker in his left hand, but he still hesitated. He was left-handed, and his big, watery eyes on his small face looked at the red badger, not daring to click. Zhu Badger nodded to Dan'er with a bright smile.

Dan'er closed her eyes, Qingxiang came close to the bamboo cannon, "Bang!" The bamboo cannon clicked, Zhu Badger cheered, Lan Yuliu cheered, Lu Huan cheered, Dan'er jumped up and cheered: "Oh, I can set off bamboo cannons! I I know how to set off bamboo firecrackers!"

Zhu Yunshan and Ma Yasha, who were standing under the big camphor tree, were happy for Dan'er and nodded to Dan'er's mother beside him. Dan'er's mother burst into tears with laughter. While wiping her tears, she looked towards the Western Mountain. On the top of the Western Mountain, he was wearing a raincoat and a hat. With a long roar, Dan'er fired a second bamboo cannon, which was louder than the first one.

Lu Huan and Lan Yuliu fired two bamboo cannons one after another, and they were so happy that they held their eggs and danced at the intersection.

"This is the New Year, a new year!" Mr. Zhu, who was under the big camphor tree, was shaking his folding fan with one hand and stroking his beard with the other, his tiger eyes smiling into a thin slit.

Zhu Badger smiled and waved to Tian Xiaolei. Tian Xiaolei was angry because he couldn't light the fireworks. He kicked the big firework over angrily and then tilted his head and asked Zhu Badger: "What's the matter?"

"Don't blame the fireworks if they don't light up. If you want to blame them, blame the person who sold you the fireworks." Zhu Badger was still smiling.

Tian Xiaolei was stunned for a moment and then cursed: "Yes, this okra, don't come back to the village in the future. When you come back, I will pinch her and steam it!"

"What's next? Aren't you back now?" Zhu Badger raised his hand and pointed to the mountain pass not far away, where an off-road vehicle revealed its scarlet front.

"Bah!" "Bah" "Bah!"

Dan'er, Lu Huan, and Lan Yuliu fired three bamboo cannons. Tian Xiaolei rushed to the red off-road vehicle, followed closely by Tian Dalei and Tian Erlei. Some other young people in the village all rushed to the red off-road vehicle.

Huang Qiukui got off the off-road vehicle with a smile, smiling even happier than the red badger. She was dressed elegantly and luxuriously today, all in red, a red mink fur coat, a pair of red leather pants, and a pair of red high-heeled leather boots. Wearing a red belay cap on his head, he waved to everyone before speaking. After waving, he said with a smile: "Happy New Year to my fellow villagers. I wish you all a happy New Year and thank you for coming to greet me."

"Welcome to you weasel!" Tian Xiaolei punched Huang Okra. Huang Okra didn't have time to avoid it, and she couldn't react at all. By the time she reacted, bright red nosebleeds were dripping down, getting redder on top of red.

Huang Doujiang was blown in front of his daughter like a whirlwind, and several men who got off the next few cars protected Huang Okra, and asked Tian Xiaolei at the top of his lungs: "Why do you beat my daughter?"

Tian Xiaolei kicked the big firework off the ground, and responded to Huang Doujiang with his head tilted and wrapped in sheets: "Why? Just these squibs!"

"Who said it was a dumb firecracker? Who said it was a dumb firecracker? The fireworks brought by my okra are all good fireworks, and they look great when they sound!" Weasel rushed to Tian Xiaolei with a big firework in his arms.

Tian Xiaolei was usually afraid of weasels, but today he didn't pay attention to weasels at all, because he saw Zhu Badger giving him a thumbs up, stretched his head out of bed sheets in front of the big firework in Weasel's arms, took a look and shouted: "That's good." It doesn't matter whether you have a cannon or a dumb cannon, but if you can, let it go in front of the neighbors."

"Let it go, it's just that I'm giving you a little advantage, you scoundrel, and letting you hear the noise and watch the colorful flowers for nothing." Weasel said and put the big firework in his hand on the ground. Just as he was about to light it, Huangdoujiang said: "Tian Xiaolei, If you hit my okra and get a nosebleed, if the shot is not a squib, I want you to kneel down and apologize to my okra."

"Huangdoujiang, if your weasel's cannon can make me hear a sound, I will sleep with your okra." Tian Xiaolei laughed.

The weasel became angry and rushed to Tian Xiaolei with his hands raised to fight. Tian Dalei and Tian Erlei went to block his brother at the same time and asked: "What do you want to do?" The weasel raised his hands and did not dare to He continued to fight but was not willing to give up. He turned around and looked at his daughter Huang Okra. Huang Okra had her orchid fingers raised and was wiping her nosebleed with a paper handkerchief. She raised her head and could not see the weasel's saving eyes.

Huang Doujiang shouted to the weasel: "Don't worry about them for now. Just treat them as wild dogs barking and light the cannon first."

"Well, light the cannon first, and I'll let you have a good listen." The weasel returned to the big fireworks angrily, squatted down to light the fire, and lit it several times before lighting the fuse.

The fuse hissed and flickered, and the weasel stepped aside and hunched over to wait for the fireworks to go off. Huang Doujiang and the men and women who followed Huang Okra covered their ears. Even Huang Okra himself didn't bother to wipe his nosebleeds with one hand covering his ears and the other. Face.

After waiting for a long time, there was no sound. When the weasel saw that the fuse had extinguished the fireworks but they still didn't explode, he shivered and shrank back to see what was going on. Huang Doujiang called to him: "Her father, don't go there, wait a little longer."

"Wait a little longer? Huangdoujiang, even if your weasel goes to bed with you, the cannon won't go off, so let him let out a weasel fart, which will make some noise for all of us, hahaha..." Tian Xiao Leibei laughed wantonly, Tian Da Leibei and Tian Er Leibei laughed even more unscrupulously. The three brothers could not see Lu Huan and Lan Yuliu smiling charmingly at them.

"You guys, don't be too presumptuous. Dad, give me fire and I'll make some." Regardless of the nosebleeds still dripping down, Huang Okra took the match from Weasel's hand and went to light the fireworks. Huang Doujiang held her back. He yelled at the men and women who followed Huang Qiukui: "Are you all just doing it for free? Do you want your boss to do this yourself? Believe it or not, I will let my Qiu Kui fire you!"

When the men and women heard this, they rushed over to light the fire, but the fuse had already burned out and there was no way to light it again. You looked at me and I looked at you, helpless.

"A bunch of cowards will only eat my okra for nothing." The weasel went over and pushed away the men and women, picked up the big firework, tore off the wrapping paper from the fuse, and narrowed his mouse eyes to look closer.

"Weasel, the okra you sell is all squibs. You can't make a sound if you peel it and try it again. Just like you and soybean paste, no matter how you mix it, you can't make a son, hahaha!" Tian Xiaolei! His laughter caused a roar of laughter under the big camphor tree.

The weasel was so angry and anxious that he threw the big firework in his hand to the ground. He jumped on the big firework and poked Tian Xiaolei with his hand and yelled: "How did your father, a big leper, give birth to three little lepers like you three who are worse than pigs and dogs? Today I... "

Before the weasel "I" could get down, there was a loud "bang" and the big fireworks at the weasel's feet went off in all directions. Not only did the weasel not to mention, they also knocked over the men and women brought back by the okra around him.

"Yo yo yo, you really made some noise. You are not going to treat us to weasel meat on the first day of the new year, are you?" Tian Xiaolei gloated, danced for a while and then ran towards the big camphor tree, looking for the red badger. He wants to take credit, but also wants to show his masculine charm to Lu Huan and let Lan Yuliu praise him: "You are really good!"

After searching around, Zhu Badger, Lu Huan, and Lan Yuliu were nowhere to be seen, but someone was heard shouting: "Blood! Blood!"

(End of this chapter)