Records of Strange People and Strange Events in the Old Mansion

Tian Xiao threw herself in the middle of the road of her old house like a leprosy dog. She was so anxious that she collapsed at the door of her house without even calling out "son". A large number of villagers who entered her house to prepare for a reunion dinner came out. Watch the fun.

One-armed Luo didn't believe that Tian Xiaolei was so dead. He went over and kicked Tian Xiaolei and said to Tian Leizi: "You don't want to invite us to a reunion dinner. Can you save food by playing such a little trick? You can't do a funeral?" You can't ask us to have a banquet? It has to be a big banquet, a big banquet for two days and one night."

"Eating a big banquet? Where can we eat a big banquet? Is it the spoon held by Fatty Zhu?" Huangliang rushed towards the one-armed Luo, but did not notice that Tian Xiaolei threw himself on the ground, tripped under his feet, and stumbled to the ground. At the feet of the one-armed Luo.

The one-armed Luo picked up the day lily with his big feet. The day lily rolled on the spot and landed on Tian Xiaolei's body. He said with a smile: "It's quite soft, not as scary as before."

"You are such a weak day lily, are you going to crush my son to death?" Tian Laizi came over and dragged day lily away.

Daylily couldn't get up and said, "I am Daylily. If your son doesn't die, will I be able to eat at the banquet?"

"Eat, eat, eat, eat at your father's banquet!" Tian Leizi couldn't drag Day Lily away, so he turned to call Tian Dalei and Tian Erlei: "Why don't you come here quickly, are you really waiting to eat at your brother's banquet?"

"Hey, it's always good to have a big banquet to eat." "If you don't eat, you won't get it. My brother will eat his brother's big banquet, and the fat will not go to other people's fields, hehe." Tian Da Lei and Tian Er Lei stood in their home with playful smiles. Don't move at the door.

Tian Leizi became angry, so he let go of the day lily and returned to his home. He picked up a pole and beat Tian Da Lei and Tian Er Lei. Tian Da Lei and Tian Er Lei ran away separately, one to the south and the other to the north. After a while, they disappeared without a trace.

"Hey, Tian Leizi, are you going to have a funeral or treat us to a reunion dinner? You can't even miss a meal if you have a leprosy on your head?" One-armed Luo shouted to Tian Leizi who was standing in the middle of the road holding a pole and looking north and south.

"That's right, if you have to eat like this, are you still a human being?"

"You're not a human being. If you don't want to be treated to a meal, just say so. There's no need to make such nonsense."

"It's better to go home and peel some rice dumplings to eat. We've lived together in the old house for so many years. When did we get to eat at his house for free?"

"..."

Stilt-legged Man and the other heads of households living in the old house were scolding each other as they walked towards their homes.

"Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey..." Tian Erlei, who was running to the south, looked panicked and ran back to his home. Seeing him like this, the neighbors who were about to disperse gathered at the door of Tian Leizi's house.

Tian Leizi threw away the shoulder pole and was about to help Tian Xiaolei get up, when he scolded Tian Erlei angrily: "Hey, hey, hey, you little leper, come here and carry your brother back to the house, you still have breath." "Dad, egg, egg... ..." Tian Erli just gasped for air.

"What the fuck? Your dad's balls are fine. When I got up this morning, I..." Tian Erlei's wife came over and knocked Tian Erlei's head hard, her face turned red, and she didn't hold her breath at all.

"It's Dan'er, Dan'er is alive." Tian Erli stroked his scalp with one hand and pointed south to the front yard with the other.

Everyone followed Tian Erlei's finger and looked forward. They were all stunned on the spot.

I saw Dan'er jumping up and down and walking back beside his mother, shouting as he walked: "Thank you, grandparents, uncles, aunts, uncles, aunts, brothers, sisters, brothers and sisters for remembering me. My mother said that in order to celebrate my death and resurrection, we will have lunch and dinner today. All come to my house to eat, and Uncle Zhu will be in charge."

"Okay, okay, go, go, go." Daylily was the first to rush to Dan'er's house.

One-armed Luo saw the Stilt-legged Man and others standing still and asked: "Why don't we go over to celebrate such a big happy event?" "The celebration is definitely worth celebrating, it must be celebrated. The key is that his family can have food for Fatty Zhu to cook. Really? Alas!" The cross-legged guy looked at Dan'er and Dan'er's mother's backs and shook his head and sighed.

"Oh, it's not easy for this orphan and widowed mother to survive to this day. Where can we eat?"

"We went to his house to have a feast. What will the two of them eat next? Do we have to starve them to death? Alas."

"Oh, it's good that Dan'er can come back to life. It's thanks to the Badger Fairy's rescue, right? Otherwise, how could he be brought back to life?"

"..."

Amidst the sighs of everyone, a loud voice sounded: "Don't worry, everyone. I am very grateful to the fairy for saving the child's life today. I have specially prepared rich ingredients to entertain you. Zhu Shanfu has already lit the fire."

When everyone heard that Fatty Zhu was angry, they didn't bother to ask who made the sound. Where does this person stand and speak? They flocked to Dan'er's house.

There have been no outsiders in Dan'er's house since Dan'er can remember, including Ma Yasha and Zhu Badger. Ma Yasha and Zhu Badger usually bring some food and clothing and basically stand at the door, calling Dan'er or Dan'er's mother to come out and get them.

Dan'er and Dan'er's mother stood at the door to greet the neighbors of the old house, saluting them and wishing them good luck.

Although Dan'er's house is the seventh west wing of the old house, the entire west wing belongs to his house and has an independent yard. Eight Eight Immortals tables have been placed in the yard, with baskets full of various pastries and fruits.

Everyone sat down to eat fruits and pastries while exchanging New Year greetings. It was a lively and joyful time.

"This is what the Chinese New Year is like."

"If the fairy hadn't appeared in time, where would this comfort have come from?"

"If the pouty-mouthed god is allowed to continue, no one will be able to think about stability this year."

"..."

During the chat, everyone remembered the voice just now and commented: "How come he calls himself a general?" "Haven't you seen what he looks like? He is clearly dressed like a general." "That's right, he is. He must be a general, a general who traveled from ancient times and calls Fatty Zhu the baker."

Amidst the discussion, Zhu Badger walked into Dan'er's house, followed by Ma Yaksha, Zhu Yunshan, Lan Yuliu and Lu Huan. Everyone stood up in unison and paid attention to Zhu Badger. Zhu Badger cupped his fists and bowed to everyone, and said with a smile: "Happy New Year, happy New Year."

"happy New Year."

"happy New Year."

"happy New Year."

"..."

In a happy and peaceful atmosphere, Zhu Badger, supported by Dan'er and Dan'er's mother, sat firmly at the top of the table. On the left was Dan'er, on the right was Dan'er's mother, and then on both sides were Ma Yasha, Lu Huan, Zhu Yunshan and Lan Yuliu.

"Dear neighbors, my daughter was supposed to come out to toast everyone at home yesterday, but she was disturbed by the fireworks and made everyone feel depressed. Today, Dan'er is resurrected and should be happy and congratulated. My daughter borrowed flowers to offer Buddha's greetings to Dan'er's family. I’d like to toast everyone here with my wine.” After Ma Yasha finished speaking, he smiled at Zhu Badger. Zhu Badger stood up and first toasted Dan’er, his mother and Dan’er, and then each other one by one.

After paying homage to Zhu Badger, he returned to the main table and was about to sit down when the sound of rapid footsteps and urgent calls came from outside the door: "Me, and me."

Zhu Badger opened his eyes and saw that it was Tian Xiaolei, dressed in colorful new clothes, rushing into Dan'er's house, followed closely by Tian Dalei, Tian Erlei and Tian Leizi's couple at the back door. Naoxi is in jail, but you still dare to come? Zhu Badger had an angry look on his face and stood up to drive the Tian family out. Ma Yasha grabbed one of Zhu Badger's hands, pulled her to sit down and comforted her: "Everyone here is a guest. Don't forget what I said to you at home." "My eyes hurt just looking at it. I can't hold myself steady." Zhu Badger sat down again bitterly.

Ma Yasha whispered to Zhu Badger: "We must be steady. Only by being steady can we defeat them." "I want them to die, but you won't let me." Zhu Badger didn't want to see the people of the Tian family, especially Tian Xiaolei, but a pair of The big round eyes burning with anger were still staring at Tian Xiaolei.

Ma Yaksha said: "You are really dead, can you still sit here? Don't forget that you are a fairy, the fairy of Laozhai, the fairy of Laozhai who Grandma Taizu has high hopes for." "It doesn't matter whether you are a fairy or not, I will definitely be of Laozhai. I will protect you, but I must get rid of the evil ones." Zhu Badger gritted his teeth.

Ma Yaksha said: "It is impossible to demolish the old house. Sooner or later, the higher-ups will send people to protect it. What you want to protect are the spirits of the old house." "You are nagging again. Let me tell you, you and Mr. Zhu are working together to come to me." , don’t think I don’t know.” Zhu Badger glared at Ma Yasha.

Ma Yaksha smiled and said: "You are a fairy. Of course you know what you know, but you don't know even more." "If you keep saying this, I will turn against you. Let's turn the table over first." Zhu Badger stretched out his hands as if to overturn the Eight Immortals Table. Ma Yasha hurriedly pressed Zhu Badger's hands and said with a smile, "Okay, okay, I'll tell you everything when I go back." "Go back now." Zhu Badger was about to get up. Ma Yasha grabbed her and said, "You haven't eaten a bite of the food, so you can't leave." "A fairy doesn't eat fireworks in the world, so what food will she eat?" Zhu Badger still wanted to leave.

"The years are new and spring is coming again, and the people of the old year are still the same when welcoming the spring. May we get rid of the old and create new ideas, and welcome the new year with each passing day." Mr. Zhu recited aloud as he walked into Dan'er's house with a hand-held folding fan, and Ma Yasha let go of Zhu Badger's hand. Holding hands, he stood up and clapped to greet him: "Good, good every day."

"Sir, please take a seat." Zhu Badger offered his seat.

Mr. Zhu declined politely: "Chief Fairy, it is natural. I am lucky enough to be able to drink at the same table." After saying that, Mr. Zhu sat down opposite Zhu Badger.

Dan'er's mother filled the cup with wine, bowls and chopsticks, and Mr. Zhu filled it with wine to toast Zhu Badger: "I will punish myself with three cups of wine to apologize, and the fairy will supervise."

"What is your crime, sir? Why should you punish yourself with three cups of wine?" Zhu Badger asked. Mr. Zhu replied: "The fairy doesn't know something. The old man is to blame for the disturbance in the old house. I can feel at ease by punishing myself."

"Peace of mind? Don't you feel at ease, sir? The old house is not a paradise, how can it be without troubles? Sir, there is no need to blame yourself." Zhu Badger smiled and picked up the wine cup. Mr. Zhu's hand holding the wine cup high was trembling, and he asked, "What do you mean by the fairy?" "How can you be a mediocre person? How can a mediocre person design such a good show to disturb me?" Zhu Badger asked Mr. Zhu in return. .

Ma Yasha tugged at the corner of Zhu Badger's clothes, but Zhu Badger ignored her. After drinking a glass of wine, he placed the wine cup heavily on the table, stood up, turned around, and left the table. He walked straight behind Daylily who was feasting and said loudly: " Mediocre people are so mediocre that they have no worries.”

"Huh? Male? I'm a female and I have troubles." Daylily responded to Zhu Badger with a mouth full of vegetables. Zhu Badger asked Daylily with a smile: "What worries you?"

"I worry about not having big fish and meat to eat every day. If I can eat the food cooked by Fatty Zhu every day, then I won't have any worries at all, haha." Daylily swallowed the food in her mouth and smiled naively at Zhu Badger. Zhu Badger patted Day Lily's back and leaned over to whisper to her: "Didn't I say that I would ensure that you eat the food cooked by Fatty Zhu? Of course, you have to listen to me."

"Listen, listen, definitely listen." Daylily nodded as if pounding garlic. Zhu Badger continued to whisper to Daylily: "Go to the big camphor tree tonight at Haishi, and I will bring you the pork knuckles cooked by Fatty Zhu." "Yeah, yeah." Daylily smiled even more innocently.

Zhu Badger straightened up and faced everyone and said loudly: "Everyone, eat slowly. Eat and drink well. I'll take the first step."

"Fairy, have you finished eating so quickly?"

"Fairy, I only saw you drinking a glass of wine."

"Fairy, you didn't move your chopsticks at all."

"..."

The neighbors scrambled to keep Zhu Badger, but Zhu Badger raised his hand and said goodbye: "Fairies don't eat fireworks in the world. Drinking is already a taboo. Goodbye."

Seeing Zhu Badger walking out of Dan'er's house, Tian Xiaolei picked up the wine cup and rushed to Lu Huan: "Huanhuan, I wish you a happy new year and all the best." Tian Dalei and Tian Erlei rushed to Lan Yuliu, you push me After pushing for a while, they rushed to say to Lan Yuliu: "Sister Liu, happy." "Happy, sister Liu."

When Dan'er's mother saw this scene, she was afraid that Lu Huan and Lan Yuliu would be angry, especially since Lu Huan was deceived by Tian Xiaolei into the village. She hated Tian Xiaolei so much that she might throw a hot water bottle at him again. Xiao Lei's scabies bloomed for the second time, and he stood up from the stool in a hurry and wanted to go over and pull away the three brats from the Tian family. Unexpectedly, Lu Huan raised the wine cup and responded to Tian Xiao Lei with a smile: "Thank you, happy New Year, and all the best." At the same time, Lan Yuliu raised the wine cup and said to Tian Da Lei and Tian Er Lei with a smile: "You are also happy."

Lan Yuliu's smile is even sweeter than Lu Huan's. To be precise, Lu Huan's smile towards Tian Xiaolei is a sweet smile, while Lan Yuliu's smile towards Tian Dalei and Tian Erlei is a charming smile, a seductive smile. .

Tian Xiaolei was completely boneless when faced with Lu Huan's sweet smile, and his whole body was numb and speechless. Facing Lan Yuliu's charming smile, Tian Da Lei and Tian Er Lei sat down directly on the ground.

Tian Leizi's three sons came over with saliva and nymphomaniacs. One-armed Luo and Stilt-legged Man came over and tried to drag them out of Dan'er's house, but One-Armed Luo only had one hand and Stilt-legged Man was not that strong. The two people winked, one picked up the spinach and egg drop soup on the table, and the other grabbed the charcoal brazier on the table. You squeezed me, and I bumped into you. The spinach soup was poured on Tian Xiaolei's head, and the charcoal fire plate was lying on Tian Daleitian's head. Er Lei's legs.

"Mom!"

"Mom!"

"Daddy!"

The three scabrous boys from the Tian family crawled out of Dan'er's house crying for their father and mother. Everyone wanted to laugh but did not dare to laugh out loud. The scoundrel couple from the Tian family were staring at the one-armed Luo and the rocker-legged guy with dark faces and red eyes, but they saw Zhu Yun Shan sat there and exchanged cups with Mr. Zhu, neither daring to make a mistake.

Ma Yaksha was no longer at the table, and Mr. Zhu sat in Ma Yaksha's seat. Zhu Badger's seat was empty, and no one dared to sit.

Tian Lezi and his wife are not afraid of Zhu Yunshan, but they wonder if he is the original Zhu Yunshan?
Judging from his appearance, he has not changed much from Zhu Yunshan twenty-one years ago, but precisely because he has not changed much, Tian Lezi and his wife suspect that he is not the original Zhu Yunshan.

Twenty-one years, more than 7,500 days and nights, how could a person's appearance not change?

Tian Laizi is only one year older than Zhu Yunshan. I think he and Zhu Yunshan were just past their thirties back then. He was thirty-two years old and Zhu Yunshan was thirty-one. Because the Badger Immortal was born in a pig-badger nest, Zhu Yunshan was killed by a pig badger. Bite to death.

The Eight Badger Immortals became real fairies and flew to Taiping Pond to "stay with my mother and my father". Under the big camphor tree, "the strong wind is blowing and call my father back". The Zhu Yunshan who returned is still the Zhu Yunshan who was just thirty years old 21 years ago, with a majestic appearance. , so heroic. But Tian Lezi is over fifty years old, with only a few leprosy hairs left on his head, showing his old age.

Zhu Yunshan and Mr. Zhu exchange cups as if they were ancestors and grandchildren drinking together. Ma Yaksha sitting next to Zhu Yunshan doesn't look like a couple at all, but like a mother and son. On the other hand, Lan Yuliu, who was sitting on the other side of Zhu Yun Mountain, looked more like his wife, talented and beautiful.

After Zhu Yunshan returned, Tian Laizi told his wife in private more than once that there must be something wrong with Zhu Yunshan. Tian Laizi's wife said, no problem, Zhu Yunshan's appearance shows that Zhu Badger, the Eight Badger Immortals, has indeed become a fairy.

Tian Laizi was puzzled, and his wife explained that if Zhu Yunshan returns and looks as old as you, then there is something wrong.

Tian Laizi was even more puzzled. His wife reached out and knocked him on the head and said tauntingly. She also said that she had been a militia captain. She didn't understand the truth. She had to think about it by herself.

Tian Laizi thought about it for several days, and finally figured it out last night. He asked his wife on the pillow if he could bring back the original Zhu Yunshan, and was the Eight Badger Immortals the real fairies? If the recalled Zhu Yunshan looks as old as him, it would not only mean that the Eight Badger Immortals were not real fairies at all, but also that Zhu Yunshan was not dead at all back then, and was just pretending to be a ghost in order to maintain his status as the owner of the old house.

Tian Laizi's wife praised Tian Laizi for having some brain cells in his head. If she hadn't overheard it from Weasel and Huang Doujiang, she probably wouldn't have figured it out in her life.

Tian Laizi asked his wife when she overheard it from Weasel and Huang Doujiang? Why didn't you tell him in time?
Tian Laizi's wife said, I thought you must be smarter than Weasel and Huangdoujiang, otherwise you would be so proactive in inviting people from your old house to your house for a reunion dinner? You usually don't care about outsiders.

Tian Leizi said, do I still have hair that I can pluck out? I didn't take the initiative to invite people from my old house to have a reunion dinner, but I wanted to take the opportunity to get to know Zhu Yunshan and the Eight Badger Immortals, and to avenge that little girl for smashing my little leprous thermos.

Humph, that sounds nice, don’t you want to see that Willow Fox at home a few more times? Before coming to Dan'er's house, Tian Leizi's wife warned Tian Leizi, but she didn't expect that the three sons would be sexually assaulted by the fox first.