Is this cartoonist mentally ill?.

Chapter 526: Quiet Madness (Original)
It was because of what Shinji Ikari said to Asuka that Asuka ended up in that state.

But Ikari Shinji did tell the truth at that time, but just as Rei Ayanami said...

The truth hurts everyone.

And it was obvious that Shinji Ikari told Asuka the truth because he was angry.

So he regretted it later.

In fact, Shinji Ikari’s later autism was not simply caused by the fact that he killed Kaworu Nagisa with his own hands.

Also, what he did to Asuka before made him feel like a complete scum.

He is an evil man burdened with original sin.

So he felt that compared to Kaworu Nagisa, he was the one who didn't deserve to live.

But in order to survive, he killed Kaworu Nagisa with his own hands.

Just like the Roman centurion Longinus who killed the Son of God, he ended the life of the Son of God with a spear, but the blood of the Son of God stained his eyes, making him no longer blind.

He felt extremely guilty, and later on spent his entire life working for the holy bishops sent by the Son of God. Before that, as a Roman who had never believed in the Holy Lord, he devoted his entire life to spreading the will of the Son of God.

Although he was later canonized as a saint by the Holy Episcopal Church.

But he only prayed for the salvation of the Son and the Lord in order to repay and fill his own shame.

The same goes for Shinji Ikari. He has always been filled with ashamed, so he decided that he would never pilot Unit-01 again, even if humanity became extinct.

At this moment he was still trying to pray for redemption, praying that Asuka would forgive him, which would be the greatest redemption for him.

But Asuka said this to him, which made him extremely conflicted and painful.

"Asuka...save me..."

Ikari Shinji begged, and said to Asuka who kept her head down, "Asuka, you are the only one who can save me."

"lie."

However, Asuka said this at this time.

Shinji Ikari saw the way Asuka looked at him at this moment, cold and... hostile.

“Actually, anyone can do it.”

Asuka stood up, causing Shinji Ikari to step back in fear and shame.

But she continued to approach Ikari Shinji and said, "Because you are afraid of Misato and the No. 1 Qualified Person... afraid of father and mother, you just ran to me!"

Shinji Ikari seemed to have been hit in a weak spot by her words, and he kept backing away.

But there was no way out of the room behind him, so he could only circle around the middle table facing Asuka.

"Because it's the easiest way and won't get hurt."

But Asuka continued to verbally attack his weakest and most painful spots.

"Help me!"

Shinji Ikari still has a glimmer of fantasy and prays for redemption.

"You've never liked anyone else!"

However, at this time Asuka yelled at him face to face, and then pushed him down!
Shinji Ikari was pushed over along with the teapot behind him...

"And you never even liked yourself!"

Asuka was still attacking Shinji Ikari until she saw him fall to the ground with the boiling tea, then she looked down at him condescendingly.

“How pathetic…”

She didn't know whether she was talking about Shinji Ikari or herself.

Seeing Asuka like this, the audience also remembered...

Asuka is talking about Shinji Ikari, but she is also talking about herself.

Shinji Ikari has always been afraid of his father and his mother and has been lonely since he was a child. How could she be the same?
Because of the accident in the experiment of Unit 2, the mother became crazy and even said to the doll that this was her daughter.

My father and mother's attending physician came together and formed a new family.

She also lost her father and mother.

And she is the same... She is not truly liked by others, and even she doesn't like herself.

She escaped into Shinji Ikari's heart because no one liked her, and that's why she kissed Shinji Ikari.

Because Shinji Ikari is the one who... won't hurt her.

It's not just Shinji Ikari who is sad, isn't she the same?

Therefore, when facing Ryoji Kaji, the only person she could be close to, she was unwilling to accept the fact that the other person was dead. Until her self-deception was exposed, she fell into the dilemma of self-isolation.

The audience felt numb.

They didn't know why, but this kind of conflicting literary and dramatic plot, which was rare in Lin Qingshan's works, was even more sad than those knife-cutting plots.

It's like... using a nail clipper to dig into your chest bit by bit, exposing your bleeding heart and blank brain to everyone.

Shinji Ikari's body was covered with scalding tea, but he did not cry out in pain, not even screaming.

The whole person, just like the audience at this moment, has become numb.

"Please save me..."

He lowered his head from the tea, stood up and begged, saying, "Save me...save me..."

He now seemed to be numbly praying for redemption, like a guilty devout believer who was waiting for indulgence to be issued by the holy bishop.

All I need is redemption, no matter what kind of redemption it is.

Be it true salvation or false salvation.

He just wanted to be redeemed, to fill his empty heart full of lies, even though what he filled was also something empty and hollow.

But his numbness was like... the dead silence before an explosion.

Sure enough, amidst his numb prayers, Ikari Shinji finally exploded.

"Come and save me!"

He suddenly grabbed the edge of the table, lifted it up, and knocked everything to the ground!

Then he picked up a chair and waved it around, destroying everything here.

"Don't leave me alone!!"

“Don’t abandon me!!”

"Do not kill me!!"

……

However, Asuka's eyes were still as cold and calm as death.

Until Shinji Ikari finally stopped, breathing heavily in exhaustion.

She then said calmly and expressionlessly, "I refuse."

There was deathly silence, even the background music stopped.

then……

"Ho--!!"

Shinji Ikari grabbed Asuka's neck without any warning, and with deep hatred, he strangled her neck hard!

He wants to strangle Asuka!
This scene reminded some viewers who have watched "Fate Zero" of the scene where Kariya strangled Tokiaki and Kiritsugu strangled Kuroneji.

It’s all the same… it hurts!
However, Asuka did not struggle at all and allowed Shinji Ikari to strangle her neck.

Suddenly, soft and quiet background music sounded, but the picture flashed with a bloody background, showing Shinji Ikari strangling Asuka.

Ikari Shinji's ferocious expression at this moment, Asuka's calmness as before, the bloody and terrifying scene... and the soft music, outlined an extremely absurd and weird scene.

And then... a picture similar to a child's sketch appeared.

It's like the world drawn by a child with serious mental illness.

Chaotic brushstrokes, blurred faces, dead dogs, chopped-off fish heads... countless images allow the audience to feel the chaotic, tyrannical and repressed dark side of Shinji Ikari's heart beneath his always calm surface.

The gentle sound of music makes people feel a little breathless.

Depression, death, sadness and calmness, the audience felt for the first time that true madness may not be hysterical or shouting.

People like Shinji Ikari, who are clearly crazy but pretend to be calm... may be the real madness.

Then countless plot titles flashed back, mixed with famous scenes from past anime, faster and faster, as if the madness in my heart was accelerating faster and faster.

They even had a feeling that, through this stream-of-consciousness plot, they were able to experience the world of a mental patient so deeply for the first time. So...

"Hahaha! So this is the inner world of a madman?"

"Qingshan, old thief! I felt it! So... is this what a mentally ill person feels like?"

"I'm out of my mind and feeling good! It's great! I'm starting to understand everything!"

"Before you all said that the original author was mentally ill, but I didn't believe it! Now I believe it! I really believe it! This screenwriter and the original author are definitely mentally ill!"

"This plot, this scene... Only a person with a ten-year mental illness can come up with this!"

"These graffiti are proof of classic personality defects..."

"Generally speaking, in personality psychology, this type of graffiti experiment is used to study children's psychological problems."

"To be precise, it's a lack of personality... This old thief Qingshan must have a serious lack of personality!"

"Needless to say, liking blood, or more precisely, liking the reality and brutality of blood, is a personality flaw that the old thief Qingshan developed after witnessing his own tragedy."

"You old thief Aoyama... isn't he very similar to Shinji Ikari? They both lost their parents."

"Others all get their materials from outside, but this old thief Qingshan got all his materials from himself!"

"No wonder Qingshan the old thief never said he went out to collect materials ()"

"Calm madness... This is the first time I feel that a madman can be as calm as a normal person. Shinji Ikari's heart has been broken for a long time, but he still pretends to be a normal person."

"I feel sorry for Shinji... He really... has suffered too much misfortune."

"I wouldn't be surprised at all even if Shinji took Brother Huozi's Daqianlu and climbed the entire Cangxun stairs."

"Pain! It hurts too much!"

……

When the audience saw this, they all felt that this was Lin Qingshan's own creation.

It’s really... too crazy.

How could a normal screenwriter come up with such a plot and such stream-of-consciousness scenes, coupled with such soft music?

If you don’t have a personality defect like Shinji Ikari, you would never be able to come up with such a plot!

“No one wants to understand me.”

Shinji Ikari's voice appeared again.

The blurry picture contained his memories of the past, which fast-forwarded like a flashback before a person died.

However, the one who answered him this time was Rei Ayanami's voice.

"You don't understand anything."

"I thought this was a world without hate and betrayal..."

Said Shinji Ikari.

"You think others are just like you."

"You betrayed... me! You betrayed my feelings!"

"It was your own illusion from the beginning. It was just your wishful thinking."

"No one... needs me."

Shinji Ikari seemed to suddenly understand, and said with despair, "Then you all go die."

But at this moment...

"Then what is the meaning of your hands?"

Rei Ayanami's voice asked again.

In the bloody picture, it seemed as if the process of life evolution was being played out in Shinji Ikari's memories.

From the ocean, fish representing the origin of mankind are swimming slowly.

"Whether I'm here or not won't affect anything..."

Shinji Ikari still said in despair, "Nothing will change, so you all go to hell."

"Then what is the meaning of your heart's existence?"

Rei Ayanami's voice asked again.

"It's better not to have it... That's why I want to die too."

Ikari Shinji still said in despair.

"Then why are you here?"

Ayanami Rei asked again.

"Can I stay here?"

Shinji Ikari asked.

But this time, Rei Ayanami stopped talking.

The black screen only had a symbol that seemed to represent silence.

then……

“Ahhhhhh——!!!”

Shinji Ikari yelled in pain.

The screen looked as if it had been cut by countless knives, becoming riddled with holes.

……

real world.

NERV underground headquarters.

"The reaction of the qualified person is infinitely close to 0!"

"The EVA mass production machine and the underground cave have passed the E layer! Still rising!"

With the remaining commanders taking command, the image of Black Moon appeared on the screen.

Then, a huge "Ayanami Rei" appeared above the earth holding the black moon.

Then...it all came.

"The House of Souls is open."

Dong Yue looked at this scene and said, "The gate to the beginning and end of the world is finally about to be opened!"

Then the next moment, everyone turned into bright yellow liquid in an instant...

This is... the water of life LCL?

However, countless Rei Ayanami stood in front of the "corpses" of the people that had turned into water of life, looking at "them" calmly.

Whether they were still alive or dead like Ritsuko, they all turned into bright yellow liquid.

This scene made the audience shudder.

But the background music sounds like a holy and joyful hymn, as if this situation is something worth celebrating.

"The world will be filled with sorrow."

Ayanami Rei's voice sounded again -

“The emptiness will come over people.”

"Loneliness will bury one's heart."

……

Then from the perspective of other people, they saw Rei Ayanami, and then Rei Ayanami became the person they liked and cared about.

Either accept it with pleasure, or always resist it.

But it doesn’t matter, because the next moment they were all turned into raw water of life the moment they were touched by Rei Ayanami.

"AT force field... everyone's AT force field is disappearing."

The last female commander explained the current situation. Her hands were shaking as she said, "Is this the answer? Is this the answer I'm looking for?"

However, not long after, she also turned into the water of life in her beautiful fantasy of meeting Ritsuko.

even!

Even the people of Seele, who were believed to be the masterminds behind everything, turned into the original water of life in the joy!
They... didn't even have any backup plan, and this was exactly what they wanted!
(End of this chapter)