Crossing the line

Chapter 132 Crossing the Line
She stood under the shade of the tree, her body was covered with sparse shadows, leaving only a pair of clear eyes: "Then tell me what the truth is?"

Not far away there was a bustling crowd and the lights were just coming on. The high walls separated the tourists from the passers-by. The sounds coming from far away made the two of them seem as quiet as if they had fallen into the autumn night.

Wen Yangzhi stood in front of her, facing the backlight, his tall figure was coated with a circle of brilliant afterglow. Because he had drunk wine, he spoke lazily:
"I haven't had any contact with her since I was seventeen. When she was twenty, she was with a large group of people, and I was chosen by the big dare to dance a duet with her. It was indeed in New York, and it was indeed on the roof, but it was not my intention."

She suddenly lost her temper:
"What about your twentieth birthday?"

He stood almost a meter away from her, in the endless night: "She found a reason to make me think that I had lost her important information. I went back to my alma mater to find it, and took a flight to send it over that day. When I arrived, I found out that she had held a birthday party on her own initiative."

His hair fell naturally, and the evening breeze blew the ends of his hair clean and lazily. "At that time, she said she still liked me and wanted to marry me. She said I was the only person she would be willing to marry. I think she only wanted to marry the heir of Wen's Bank. She thought that if she followed me, she would have all the money and power that she could not touch. In order to reject her, I told her that I would not get married. She probably held a grudge against me because of this, and was unwilling to see that I was going to get married, so she interfered."

Yun Yuwan didn't feel relieved immediately, but asked, "What do you mean by not getting married?"

"What do you want to ask?" He half raised his eyelids.

She stood in the wind, and just told what she had noticed during this period, with some careful tentativeness:

"Does it mean you won't marry anyone, or you won't marry Wan Hui?"

Wen Yangzhi's eyes were unreadable: "You can get married."

But she didn't believe it.

If they could get married, why would his attitude be like this?

Many of her recent attempts at marriage had been rejected by him, and even the proposal ceremony tonight was done for show.

I would rather help her pretend than actually fulfill her promise.

Her heart was in a mess, stirring up melancholy:
"Is that my problem? You don't want to talk to me about marriage now."

Wen Yangzhi's attitude was unclear, just like the night that covered him: "No."

But she kept asking, "Since you said we can get married, why can't we get married now?"

He did not answer her why she could not get married recently, but just pondered for a moment and said: "Let's go home."

He wanted to come over and hold her hand.

But she took two steps back and insisted on an answer: "I'm not going home. I want to hear you explain it clearly."

Wen Yangzhi seemed a little drunk. He lightly placed his palm on his forehead and rubbed his temple with his thumb and middle finger. His voice was a little decadent and relaxed: "Do I really have to listen to it?"

Yun Yuwan felt that this truth was probably not a good thing, and it might be a fact that she could not face.

But being kept in the dark is not good for her.

She has always wanted to know her lover's true thoughts about her, even if it means a blow:

"I don't want to know nothing. Since I've been with you, I've never understood what you're thinking. Now I want to know."

He stared at her in the evening breeze for a moment, and finally spoke in a calm tone, but it dealt her a heavy blow: "I said we can get married, but you are not included in the scope."

Yun Yuwan's heart suddenly sank: "What do you mean by not including me?"

Wen Yangzhi just remained silent: "Literally."

Her heart was so cold that it seemed unable to pump blood, as if she had seen through Wen Yangzhi's position on her all along.

Maybe she was self-righteous, thinking that she could become the other half of a bank director just by dating him. She was ignorant and thought that there would be no discussion of family background between them. In fact, she thought she was qualified, and he never included her in his mate selection criteria:
"Do you think that there is too much difference between your family background and mine, and that I can't help you?"

He denied it decisively: "No."

Yun Yuwan felt her heart ache in her body: "Or is it because I always have a bad temper and you always have to coax me?"

He denied it again: "No."

Yun Yuwan held the bag strap tightly: "What does that mean?"

He just reminded her: "If you insist on listening, according to your personality, we can't go back from tonight."

But at this point, can we still pretend that nothing happened?
What could be worse than these two?

She deliberately pressed on: "If Zhou Fei, who is equally matched with you, marries you today, wouldn't that be okay?"

But I heard him say: "Zhou Fei can."

She looked in disbelief at the man who had been so intimate with her not long ago.

She had originally just wanted to hear the answer, so she deliberately made exaggerated statements to force him to reveal his true thoughts, but she didn't expect him to agree without hesitation.

The cool night breeze made her seem like a dying butterfly that would no longer be able to flap its wings after a month. Her beautiful flight had a time limit, and when the time was up she had to wake up from her sweet dream.

Her voice was trembling:

"Why can Zhou Fei do it but I can't?"

He finally looked at her steadily, his eyes deep and unfathomable: "Because I really love you, not her."

She seemed to have stepped into an empty pit, and her tears seemed to have no place to go. "What kind of logic is this? Isn't marriage just about two people in love being together? Why can you marry someone you don't love, but not me?"

Faced with her tears, this was the first time he did not come forward to comfort her, and it seemed that every breath he took was painful.

He finally told the reason: "I can bear her betraying me, but I can't bear you betraying me."

She asked: "Why would I betray you?"

He just looked at her in the wind: "Maybe it's not betrayal. I tried, but I found that I couldn't accept anything less than wholehearted. Maybe I can't accept intimacy anymore. There can't be anyone in the world that I care too much about, especially my wife."

Tears welled up in her eyes: "Why can't you try to say these things to me again?"

Why can't I marry her even if I love her enough? Why do I feel that she will definitely betray me?

He looked at her face and knew that although he was honest, she didn't understand what he meant. He lowered his eyes for a moment, and a clear light rolled through his eyes. He just told her the truth helplessly:

"If you must listen, I will tell you that I have borderline rigidity disorder."

The moment the sound entered her ears, she hadn't reacted yet.

But it was only a moment. Yun Yuwan, who had been reading psychology and social science books in order to heal himself, froze in place.

She felt like she was falling into hell, looking at Wen Yangzhi in disbelief under the polarized light.

Rigid border barriers.

In just a moment, she suddenly understood why he lived alone in Jinglou, why he was distant from his parents, and why he always spoke half of what he said and kept the other half, never opening his heart to others.

The boundary she thought she had crossed, turned out to have never been crossed.

A line of tears fell from her eyes in surprise and panic.

Wen Yangzhi knew this would happen. He smiled bitterly at himself and said, "Now that I've said it, you should understand that I do love you, but I probably can't give you what you want."

Yun Yuwan suddenly understood those things that she couldn't understand.

No wonder he was 28 years old and had never been in any relationship except her.

When he said he didn't have time, what he actually meant was that he didn't have the ability to love.

She thought she had crossed the clear line and pursued him.

It turned out that he barely tolerated crossing the line and accepted her love.

Yun Yuwan couldn't utter words to describe the overwhelming emotion she felt at this moment.

She desperately wanted to marry him, but he couldn't.

He might not even be able to marry her in a few years.

Every time she touched the boundary, he should feel a burning pain, but she was an NPD with no sense of boundaries.

She smiled bitterly, but her voice was filled with tears: "No wonder you were so enthusiastic and proactive towards me three months ago, but now you are becoming more and more hot and cold. I thought it was my problem."

Boundary barriers are psychological barriers that cause people to close themselves off from their loved ones after being betrayed too many times by those closest to them.

After realizing that people close to them will hurt and betray them, they start to become extremely indifferent. Even if they have feelings for someone, they will not show it and will even stay away from them, building high boundaries to isolate themselves from others.

The more indifferent a person is to someone, the more his love for that person is deepening.

They are afraid of getting trapped, so they push their loved ones away in this way, afraid of becoming dependent on them and getting hurt in the future.

He felt that he was getting deeper and deeper into it, so he was not as enthusiastic as he was at the beginning.

His long eyelashes drooped, and the light slid down the bridge of his nose. He seemed to have no support: "It's my problem."

But she just suddenly understood, tears fell on her collar: "Do you know that I have NPD?"

The corners of his lips were bitter, and the wind blew his black hair slightly: "I know."

Of course I would know.

Both of them, who had hidden traumatic pain, almost made their cards clear in front of each other.

As soon as he said rigid boundary barrier, she knew what it was.

Yun Yuwan's eyes were blurred with tears: "Do you think that I can't last more than three months in a relationship, so it doesn't matter if you accept me, and we won't have any future anyway?"

He didn't lie at all. At this point, there was no need to lie to her anymore: "At the beginning."

She asked tearfully, "What about now? I want to get married, I want to be with you, I don't want to be with you for only three months."

His thin lips opened and closed, and his gentle voice was like shooting a sharp arrow: "Be my girlfriend forever, I won't have anyone else, or get married, but with our personalities, we will gradually stop being lovers."

She couldn't accept it, tears broke down and she asked, "Why did you quit smoking?"

She thought he wanted to marry her.

Wen Yangzhi's eyes were as wide as the deep sea: "If that is your wish, we can have children even if we don't get married."

But this is not what she wants. She couldn't help but ask, "An illegitimate child? You know how much I want to have a family, but I have never had one."

Wen Yangzhi's eyes were slightly red: "So I said, once I say it, there will be no way for us to go back."

Yun Yuwan finally realized that what separated them for those six years was never the distance, but that no matter how much he loved her, he would never take this step.

The United States and Europe are far away, but you can arrive in just a dozen hours by taking a flight, which is never a reason.

The raven and the white pheasant, one grows in the high-latitude inland, and the other grows in the subtropical marine forest. They are species from two different places. They can fly over the mountains, but they cannot stay together for a long time. No matter how much they love each other, they cannot get along with each other and will only prick each other with thorns.

Black, white, distinct, clear.

It turns out that black and white are really distinct and cannot blend together.

The raven and the white pheasant, one black and one white, have such a distinct boundary that they can't even blend into each other.

Even in the best of night, they cannot come together.

It turns out that we really don't match each other in personality. I need to think carefully about it.

They didn't lie to her at all, but she thought she was making a rash judgment about their true feelings.

Ahem, friendly reminder, this is a he